by Pamela Ann
So, when that day rolled in for us to go sight-seeing, I was excited to hang out with him.
I made a quick dash to the mirror and checked my appearance. Yes, I looked like I could do some walking in the cold chilly air. When I came out of the building, I halted when I found Blake leaning against his black Vanquish. To be quite honest, each time I see him, I always get like this. Like he’s all I see… I guess because he’s just so fucking HOT. The list goes on from there…
“Ready, milady?” Blake grinned at me while his eyes twinkled.
Sigh, could he be any sexier? I am crushing on Blake so badly, but that’s my secret and not one I would share. Imagine if Blake ever found out? I could see him teasing me, amused and all.
No, thanks.
I gave him a shy smile since my thoughts were really not appropriate and especially since I’ve been in love with another man. “Yep, how long have you been waiting?” Blake’s smile vanished.
His voice was serious and husky when he spoke. “A bit, but I don’t mind waiting. Some things are worth waiting for.” I looked at him weird. His response did not make sense whatsoever. Instead of clarifying that, he just ushered me inside his car.
“Where are we heading?” I asked him as he maneuvered the car and joined London traffic.
Blake cocked his head sideways and winked at me. “You’ll see.”
Shit, fuck, shit. Stop making me blush damn it!
Not wanting to dwell on my stupid thoughts, I turned on the radio. After thirty minutes or so, we were somewhere around the airport.
Okay…
I tensed. “What are we doing in Gatwick?” He just smiled at me again.
“Blake?” I questioned, but he ignored me and swiftly parked the car in the garage. Once done, he opened the door. Before he rounded mine to open it, I did it myself.
“It’s a surprise.”
“I hate surprises!” I exclaimed. Where the hell is he taking me?
“Come on, Miss Pouty. Your jet awaits.” Blake ushered me towards the gates.
Jet, what jet?
Blake handed two passports to the security people while I stared at him, shocked. Once they let us through, I glared at him. “You stole my passport!”
He chuckled. “No, I borrowed it. There’s a big difference, my sweet.” We went through another set of doors and into a private concierge area. From there, someone waited to greet us named Bart.
Okay, even if I was a little weirded out about everything, I must admit that I was impressed with the kind of power Blake held. The fucking man commanded power and everyone just seemed to bow to him. Must be nice to lead that kind of life…
Bart ushered us to a private jet and bid us a good afternoon. Inside, two pretty stewardesses greeted us and then the two pilots spoke to Blake for a bit. I didn’t speak until we were both seated across from each other.
“Where are you taking me, Blake? You promised to take me sight-seeing!”
Those dynamic eyes were amused as they twinkled. “I am taking you sight-seeing in Paris. When you agreed to let me take you, you never once asked where.”
“God, don’t you do anything in small measures?” I was back to glaring at him again. Although, I was excited to see Paris for the first time, I wasn’t going to let him get off the hook that easily.
When the pilot announced to get ready for take-off, we didn’t resume talking until the stewardess, Ellie, finished serving us food and refreshments.
“Tell me, Sienna, do I look like the kind of man that does things in small measures?” Hell-to-the-fucking-no.
I threw a grape at him. “Can you stop being so amused?” Why was he so damn happy, anyway? Fuck, Kyle will murder me if he finds out about this.
Blake held my gaze and spoke, “I can’t help provoking you when you look simply and utterly beautiful as you glare and blush like that.”
Before I managed to even respond, he started on the food that was before us. I murmured my thanks when he gave me coffee. In between bites of Belgian waffles, I asked, “The woman that you’re seeing at the moment… is she okay that you’re taking me out of the country?”
Blake shrugged and took a sip of his beverage. “Why should she? And besides, you’re a friend, there’s nothing for her to be jealous of.”
Right, we were after all that—friends.
When we landed in Paris, I was crazily psyched. “Welcome to the city of lights and the city of love,” he exclaimed with such enthusiasm.
Blake was the best guide I could ask for. We went to a few places, but I got too distracted to be interested because there were too many pastry shops. Each time we passed by one, my body walked forth, but my nose stayed and lingered, smelling the damning, delicious aromas. Of course, Blake obliged me. He seemed to have a weakness for sweets as well. So that worked out perfectly.
He was funny and spoke in fluent French. Yeah, that was something to behold. He was quite breathtaking. I guess some people were just born perfect?
Before midnight, we were back in Charles de Gaulle airport to go back to London. “Blake, thank you for today… I know I was a little bitchy in the beginning… but you made me really happy. I can’t thank you enough.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek before I went back to my own chair.
“I am quite glad that today made you happy. That was my goal, nothing more. Why don’t you go rest awhile? I’ll wake you up before we land.”
I murmured my thanks before I closed my eyes.
Today was rather eventful and I was weary and exhausted.
Paris, I will never forget you.
Building Friendships…
Christmas
“God, this is amazing Toby! Thank you for inviting me to join you guys!” I was awed at the sight of the powdery slopes of the French Alps. We were staying in a chalet owned by Toby’s aunt and it was beyond beautiful.
All four of us were on the slopes all day. While Toby and Blake went hardcore, Lucy and I just did a few decent runs. She and I chatted on and on about everything… asking about Kyle and why wasn’t I with him. Christmas was a sensitive subject for me. Since I don’t have my parents, Christmas is the most depressing time of the year for me. I remembered telling Kyle that I was not flying back… he wasn’t pleased… at all.
“Sienna, for the love of God, come back home! You know I can’t fly out there. Christmas is busy for us with all these artists releasing albums. Don’t do this baby, please, be with me.” Kyle huffed out a painful sigh.
“I already told the guys that I was joining them in France. I’m sorry, but you know how I feel about Christmas. Why can’t you just fly out here for a few days? I will make it worth your while. Everyone would be delighted to meet you.”
I heard him groan on the other end. It took him a few minutes before he spoke again. “I can’t, Si. It’s impossible.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Si, are you sure you don’t want to come home because you don’t want to see me? It seems that you’re doing good without me. If you want to let me go, just say so. Just don’t make me feel like shit, Si.”
“Baby, I love you. I’m in love with you. Don’t do this. I miss you, too—like crazy—but I can’t go home. I just can’t right now. You know my situation, babe. I can’t go back, yet.” I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. LA has a lot of bad memories for me. I can’t go back, not yet.
“I’m sorry, baby. You’re right. I do understand. I’m just being selfish. I just miss you, that’s all.” I bit my lip as I listened to his pained voice.
“I love you, Kyle.”
“I love you, too, Si. More than you’ll ever know.”
***
That night, when Lucy and Toby decided to turn in early, Blake asked me to meet him out on the chalet deck. When I did, I was surprised to find that he had the fireplace going and a couch that was pushed almost to the wood railing with comforters.
I looked at Blake, confused. “I was wondering if you’re up for stargazing? The sky is clear and the stars
are out. I was hoping that you might like that.”
Oh.
How fucking romantic is this? Well, maybe not romantic since we’re only friends and all...
“Sure, Knightly. I’ll keep you company.” I strode over to the couch as he handed me my own blanket. “Let me warn you, though, I don’t know much about stars.”
He merely laughed. “Well then, I will gladly educate you. You’re quite lucky to have such an accomplished and knowledgeable companion.”
Of course, I forgot that this dude was fucking smart, too. He seemed to just excel in everything. It’s annoying and, at the same time, I couldn’t help admiring his sharp mind. On top of that, he had such a passionate nature. Blake told me it’s because of his half-Italian heritage. I thought, he’s right on that score. Italians are quite passionate beings.
And so, we sat and huddled with our respective wool-checkered blankets while we stargazed.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” I asked Blake out of the blue. I looked at him sideways and waited for his answer.
When his eyes met mine, he studied me for a minute. The fire from the outdoor fireplace made his eyes dance with such spell-binding power, I felt like I was being hypnotized. Those eyes were arresting me as he probed and searched my golden depths. “Yes, I do believe in love at first sight.”
Seriously?
Blake Knightly? Huh.
I was beyond piqued. “How can you believe in such a connection of souls? You can’t seem to stay in one relationship for more than a few weeks…Or… maybe you have… but what happened?”
Without breaking eye contact, he responded, “Well, I think it’s close to love at first sight. I knew when I first saw her that my life had changed in that instant. Something altered for me and I wasn’t the same man before I met her. However, she’s with someone else and very much in love with him.”
His answer took me aback for a second. “Oh, that must suck. I’m sorry. So, this woman, she just… didn’t care for you… at all?”
Blake merely shook his handsome head. “I didn’t tell her, of course.”
“But why? If you love her… you’re not going to fight for her?” How could a person love someone and not fight for that? I just didn’t get it.
“You must understand that some circumstances are just meant to be that way. One cannot force something such as love to be an easy one. Do I wish to have her in my arms? Without a doubt, I do wish it, more than anything. Maybe the timing is wrong, who really knows?”
I gave him a quick hug and smiled brightly at him. “Maybe one day, you will get to be with her. You never know.” I wanted him to have his happily ever after.
Blake held my hand and squeezed it. “Maybe one day, but once I do get to have her, I will not let her go.”
When we reverted back to studying the stars and, while he explained to me which one was Cassiopeia, my thoughts lingered to what we discussed a few minutes ago… I wondered how it would feel to have such a compelling man like Blake want you like no other…
For the first time in my life, I imagined being with another man, one that wasn’t Kyle Matthews.
Is that doubt I feel?
Four months later…
“Are you about done, Sienna? Might I remind you that I have been waiting for quite some time now?” Blake called out from the living room.
We’d agreed that we always have to watch The Game of Thrones episodes together. He’s out there waiting, but I seemed to not want to move out of my bedroom.
Kyle had been ignoring my calls again.
This had been a constant thing as of late. I was beyond worried, but a tad reluctant to ask if he and I were still okay. I kept telling myself that there’s nothing to worry about. Kyle loves me. It’s as simple as that.
I knew for the last few months I had been too busy to call him back and the time difference just totally sucked. I knew he’s mad, but he couldn’t just ignore my calls. He knew it hurt me when he did.
Sighing, I tried to dial his number again to no avail. Instead this time, I opted to leave a message. “Hey, it’s me. I’m sorry if I haven’t been good with keeping up with our phone calls and all… but please don’t ignore me. Even if I’m busy, I never fail to think about you. I just want to tell you that I miss you very much. Call me, please? I love you, Kyle.”
Sighing again, I dropped the phone on my side table while I stared at it for a while. I looked up when someone knocked on my door.
It was Blake.
“What’s wrong, poppet?” Blake asked before he strode inside and sat next to me.
Poppet? He’s called me a lot of nicknames, but it seemed poppet was his favorite. He and I had been building a great friendship for the last six months. I don’t know why he liked to chill with me. Blake Knightly was just too cool and too handsome to be doing so. Yeah, he gets admirers… like gazillions of them.
Last week, a woman, whose name escapes me, called me out of the blue to ask for help. She wanted me to help her get Blake back. Ugh, psycho much? She said she went through Blake’s contact list and knew that I was close to him. I told her that she should get her own man without my help. I felt bad when she started crying, but what the hell? How in the world would I force Blake fucking Knightly, of all men, to do something that he didn’t want to do? It’s inconceivable.
I mentally shook my head and focused on Blake’s present question. “It’s Kyle. He seems to be ignoring my calls lately. He knows it hurts me, but he keeps on doing it. I don’t get that? Do you think… he’s—” I halted. No, Kyle would never leave me. We were it. We made promises. “He’s just probably busy, right? There’s no point of me freaking out over something so stupid.”
“That’s possible. However, if you’re asking from a man’s point-of-view, a man only ignores a woman when he doesn’t want to talk, he’s done with you or he’s just really busy.”
Three selections? I’m picking the latter. He’s busy; nothing more, nothing less.
Not wanting to speak about it any longer, we finally managed to watch our episode, but I was distracted the whole time.
My heart chases the beat of the drum…
Weeks later…
I did it! I finally bought the ticket, and I will be seeing my boyfriend in a month’s time. It was a surprise and I couldn’t help feeling happy as I imagined his reaction when he saw me for the first time after almost nine months of separation. He’s going to go crazy and love me even more!
I jumped on my bed and answered my ringing phone with enthusiasm.
“Baby! I’ve missed you!” I said to Kyle.
He was quiet and it took him a while to respond.
Odd.
“Sienna… I’ve been seeing someone else for the past couple of months or so. I didn’t know how to tell you, but now I kind of have to since it’s getting, you know, serious,” Kyle said in a brushed off manner.
I gasped as my eyes started to tear. In a wobbly voice, I spoke, “What do you mean for the past couple of months? You’ve been cheating? And you failed to mention this to me?”
“I’m sorry, but it’s done. I’m with her now, Si. I haven’t seen you in months and I just kind of miss being with someone—”
“Fuck off, Kyle. Don’t call me ever again. Bye!”
Dropping my phone on the floor, I curled up in a ball. And cried… and cried…
How could he do this to me? After what he and I had gone through… especially after what I had gone through? He promised to never hurt me, but he lied. Kyle lied to me.
Of all the men, Kyle was the constant one in my life. He was my life raft. My go-to person… he was my hero. He was the one who used to save me from my turbulent home.
He cheated.
My Kyle cheated on me.
I didn’t leave the room until the night after. When Blake, Lucy and Toby dragged me out of the room and force fed me. I felt like death and when they managed to spring the information out of me, I was more than bereft. I was a tad hysterical, waterworks
and all.
Kyle. How could he do such a thing?
Two weeks later…
“You can’t be serious, Sienna?” Toby expressed in a shocked tone. Toby, Lucy and Blake all stared at me like I had gone cuckoo.
I was about to respond, but Blake butted in. “Closure? What the bloody hell for? The man cheated for months and never let you on about it? That’s rather absurd. Kyle does not deserve closure.” Blake seemed furious.
I got that he’s shocked and doesn’t like my decision, but for him to be angry at me?
I sighed and looked at Lucy and Toby, both stayed mum. “Lucy, if you were in Sienna’s situation would you want bloody fucking closure?” Blake asked Lucy.
“No, but Kyle’s her childhood sweetheart. He probably had a good reason for doing it. I cannot seem to think what that would be, though. Sienna, will it make you happy to go and see him? Clear the air or what of it?”
Yes, I would be. I needed to see Kyle. I needed to see it with my own eyes… that my future… the future that we had planned together was now gone. “Yes, most definitely.”
Toby stood up. “And there you have it, folks. Now, what do you say we focus on dinner before Sienna passes out from all this tension?” Chad intervened. I gave him a grateful smile.
When everyone else dropped it, I still felt Blake’s simmering anger. When they all went to start prepping for dinner, I excused myself to my room and Blake followed me. Without asking for permission, he invited himself in.
I was in bed when he entered. I turned over, my back facing him. I knew I might have sounded pathetic right now, but it was what I needed. I didn’t give a damn about anything else.
Kyle meant everything to me. I had to see him and that’s that.
I stilled when I felt the bed dip.
“I apologize if I was harsh, but you must understand that I am only concerned. I do not want to see you anymore hurt than you already are.” Blake touched my shoulder, but I didn’t turn around or said anything.
I’m tired. I’m emotionally battered, betrayed, cheated on and the list can go on. The last thing I needed was for Blake to be angry at me. I got where he’s coming from, but I don’t give a hoot. Not right now, I don’t.
