Michel stepped onto the mat then and came to stand next to me.
“Well, if you have finished completely exhausting my Nosferatin, I will now try and make her recovered enough for your trip in a few hours.” His voice was not at all pleasant. I don't think he liked how far Erika had taken this training session.
She just straightened her shoulders and raised her chin towards him. “She is not as fragile or delicate as you suspect, Michel. She is more than capable of holding her own.”
I appreciated the vote of confidence, really I did, but right now I couldn't move a muscle and Michel kind of had a point. Still, Erika, the evil task master that she undoubtedly is, and I, were going to get along quite fine. Quite fine indeed. Somehow, I just knew, she had my back. And in that moment I knew also, that I had hers. I looked up at her and smiled, it was all I was capable of, but it was enough to let her know I'd heard her defence of me and I liked it.
Michel's fists, however, were clenched and I'm betting there was a fair amount of magenta in his eyes, although I couldn't turn my head enough to see right then. His voice when he did speak again was all icy chill. “You will remember your place, vampyre, or I will teach you it.”
The atmosphere in the room had shifted in that instant. The vampires watching almost pulling in on themselves, trying to vanish from sight, to not get noticed by their now reeking Sanguis Vitam master. Michel, unfortunately, had a bit of Dark in him too and when threatened or pushed to the limit, it crept out of whatever corner it usually hid in and started to play. My job as his kindred, was to temper that Dark, to call him back to the Light, but I also knew shows of power, strength and dominance were all part of the political game of a master of a line. Most ruled by fear and strength alone, Michel had also earned respect, but he was still a vampire and would always revert to one when angry.
I was guessing, right now, his anger was because of the state I was in. Regardless of whether I sometimes wondered if Michel cared for me, loved me even, moments like this made me realise if nothing else, I was precious to him, important enough to him, to get so riled up over such a stupid event. I was tired and a little bruised, sure, but I was generally OK. But, part of me also acknowledged that I was a tool in his arsenal and his concern could also have been for the damage of a valuable asset. I sighed. I couldn't very well make a move publicly in front of his vampires, I don't think he'd listen to thoughts projected to him right now either - sometimes even he is too far gone - but what I could do was send him my emotions.
So, I concentrated on what I felt and it was a combination of exhaustion, but the type of exhaustion you get after a really good, really hard workout and pride at what I had achieved in such a short amount of training time. And elation at having succeeded to land the end blow and gratefulness to Erika for letting me do it under truly just circumstances, for not holding any punches, for making me work for it - something a vampire could understand. And then I sent it out towards him with my love and appreciation for his standing up for me, for his caring enough for me - for whatever reason, be it true affection or political gain - to confront his kin with such strength on my behalf.
He turned slowly towards me, looked down at where I sat, still crumpled on the floor and looked at me with such amazement on his face, such utter respect and understanding. And for a brief moment there, I saw love; unadulterated love for me. And it stilled my heart.
He suddenly came to his knees at my side and reached up to cup my face in his, looking at the surprise that must have graced my features. His fingers running along my jaw, his eyes taking in every part of me, a thumb stroking my cheek.
“You still do not accept what I feel for you, ma douce. You do not believe it possible. Look at me and tell me I do not love you.”
I couldn't believe he was saying this in front of his line. I felt a little uncomfortable, but the vampires had all, including Erika, gone still; that preternatural calm they do, sinking into themselves, no breathing, no blinking, no heartbeat. I'm sure they continue to be very aware of their surroundings, but they were offering up what privacy they could, given the circumstances.
Michel just sat and waited for me to answer. He was serious, he wanted me to consider his question, so I did. I looked at him, really looked at him and he let himself be open and bare, to show everything he felt and more. I could see his determination to win, whatever he set his mind to. His desire for power, which was not a new characteristic, I was well familiar with what Michel craved. I could also see his pride at the life he had made for himself and his line here in New Zealand, his affection for the vampires under him, his commitment to their safety and health. I could see all of this, right there, but I could also see his love. He did love me and it wasn't just words to placate, it wasn't just a means to an end, to get me to stay with him, to make me feel safe in our relationship. It was the type of love you would die for. The type of love that you would always put first before all else.
If I had ever thought that Michel just saw me as a way to feather his nest, a way to further his power base, then it was no longer true. He loved me.
He actually loved me.
And he would do anything to keep me safe and to keep me as his.
Wanting it and having it are two different things altogether. This level of love was frightening. He would keep me safe at any cost, his determination to have me to himself unfathomable. And I couldn't afford that. I had a job to do, I had a responsibility to my Nosferatin ancestors, to Nut, to Nero, to the Prophesy, to the innocent humans of the world. I couldn't let him cosset me, I couldn't let him smother me, I couldn't let him lock me away so I never came to any harm.
So, I did the only thing I could think of to do, I let him see that I didn't feel the same way. I let it all show in my eyes, in my face, that I loved him, in my own way, but that it was not the same as his love of me. That it was only physical, only there because of our joining, only there because of our Bond. And that it really didn't mean a thing, in the end.
I watched as he comprehended what it was that he saw on my face, in my eyes and I watched as a part of him shut down, locked away from me forever. And I hid the fact that my heart was breaking even as I lied to him, even as I broke his and I swore I would never let him know otherwise, or I would truly be lost and the war would be over.
The Dark would win and the Light would cease to exist forever, for everyone.
In every war there are sacrifices. This just happened to be mine.
Chapter 9
Blood Lust
The next few hours were a blur. It was Erika who helped me to Michel's chamber. Erika who ran a bath and packed my bags. She rustled up some food, which I pecked at, but mainly ignored. Erika who massaged my aching body, trying to ease the pain and make the bruises heal.
Michel had simply stood and walked out the door of the sparring room, leaving me there on the floor without a further word. No one knew where he was, what he was doing. He wasn't answering their calls, cell phone or telepathic, he'd taken a Land Rover from the garage and he'd simply disappeared.
Bruno swung by his chamber while I was resting and Erika was getting herself packed and ready to head to the airport. He didn't chastise me, he didn't frown at what I had so obviously done to his master. They had seen in my face what Michel had, they had heard what he had admitted to me; his unadulterated love, but still Bruno said nothing.
He just told me Gregor was expecting both Erika and myself and he wished me luck.
“Anything you need, just call and I'll arrange it, Luce.”
I nodded. “He's gone to Taupo,” I said, I could feel where Michel was headed through the Bond and what he was feeling. Hurt, betrayal, despair. He'd gone to the only place that settled him, to the only people who would offer the type of support he needed, human support. Kathleen and Matthew are his human servants who look after his holiday home in Taupo. They have a close bond with Michel, more than just master and servant. I realised in that moment, that he saw them as family. His human family lo
ng lost to him due to time.
Bruno nodded. “I thought as much, but thanks. I'll have some guards sent down to protect him. I don't think he's quite himself right now.”
I tried not to let the tear that had been threatening slide down my cheek, but it was too late. Bruno saw it and sighed, but he didn't say a word, he just patted me on the shoulder and walked out of the room.
Erika got to test drive the BMW. I couldn't have concentrated on the roads to save myself. She'd been to Auckland before, over a decade before, but she was fairly familiar with the layout. If not the multitude of topographical changes and population explosion that had occurred during that time, she could still find her way to the airport without my direction. I just got to lean my forehead against the cool glass of my window and stare blindly at the lights passing by.
I knew I needed to get out of this depression I had pushed myself into, but the guilt and loss and heartache was too strong. My cellphone went off and I jumped, instantly thinking it was Michel. I fumbled as I picked it up and felt my stomach drop in disappointment at the name on the screen. Nero. I took a deep breath and flipped it open, holding it up to my ear.
“Kiwi? What is wrong? I sense your Darkness, what has happened?” Of course he couldn't Dream Walk to me again, it was too soon, but the connection we shared let him know where I was heading emotionally. And it wasn't good. The last time this had happened, Michel had been unable to break me from the Dark's hold. Nero had risked himself to Dream Walk twice in one night and had to resort to extreme measures to get Light back into me and save me from the Dark. I could still feel his lips against the skin of mine now, weeks later.
I placed a hand on my mouth at the memory of it.
“I've hurt Michel," I whispered down the line. "I've really hurt him, but I had no choice, Nero. I had to do it. He would have smothered me. He wouldn't have let go.” I didn't care that Erika could hear me, I didn't care what she would think. I was lost to the Darkness already.
I heard Nero's sigh down the line. “Kiwi. He will understand. He is your kindred.”
“You didn't see him, Nero, you didn't see the hurt and pain in his eyes. I'm not supposed to do that to my kindred. I'm not supposed to be the one that causes hurt.”
“Meaning he is? We all have Dark in us, Kiwi, not just the Nosferatu. Where there is Dark, there is always Light. And where there is Light, there is always Dark.”
Another Nosferatin mantra. It didn't seem to make me feel better.
“I don't know if I'll be able to ever fix this, Nero, but I do know that I shouldn't. I have a job to do and he would protect me to the detriment of that job. I had to do it.”
“If I could take the burden of the Prophesy from you, I would, you know that. But, you are right. You did the right thing.”
“Then why do I feel so bad? Why does it feel so wrong?” I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I know I had sworn off them, but I allowed them this once. Nero couldn't see me crying.
There was a pause for a while and then when Nero spoke again he sounded pained. “I don't know, Kiwi, but sometimes the right thing to do, can be the most painful, the most heartbreaking.” It sounded like he was speaking from experience, the weight of his words so heavy.
“How do I live with my decision, Nero? My choice?”
“You take one day at a time, you remember to breathe and you surround yourself with people who care. Have you got someone with you now, Kiwi? Someone who cares?”
I flicked a glance at Erika, she had no doubt heard the entire conversation, both my side and Nero's, vampire hearing and all. She locked gazes with me, nodded briefly, an understanding passing between us in that instant.
“Yeah. Yeah, I do,” I whispered into the phone.
“Good. Then relinquish some of that hard fought for control and let them take care of you for a while.”
“OK.” I nodded and then realised he couldn't see me, so said it again. “OK.”
“And know this, Kiwi. I will always be there for you. Always.”
“Thanks, Nero.”
“I sense more Light in you. My work here is done.”
I smiled.
“That's my girl,” he whispered and then the line went dead.
Thank God for friends.
I slept on the couch on the plane, the one Michel normally sat on, where his scent still lingered from a couple of weeks ago. Clean cut grass and fresh sea spray.
I missed him already.
Erika didn't talk the whole trip, just let me sleep fretfully and when we landed she gently shook me awake.
“We're here, chica. Better put on your game face, I see we've got someone to meet us.”
Typical. Gregor couldn't just let us come to him, he'd have to pre-empt the entire stay. I really wasn't sure if I was up to Gregor, but we were here now and I was damned if I was going to let him see me upset, it would only provide fuel for his fire. I slipped into the on-board bathroom, despite not being allowed to wander around when the plane is taxiing. Michel's manservant wasn't on-board with us this time, the co-pilot had shut the door before take off, so no one was there to tell me off.
Like the rest of the plane the bathroom is exquisite; faux granite bench tops, ceramic tiles and gold fixtures, a dancing dragon etched delicately here and there. I splashed some water on my face, brushed my teeth with the little travel kits provided and combed my hair. Done. A vampire hunter doesn't need much more than that, oh and her stakes. I checked the pockets of my jacket, all accounted for. I was ready.
“Let's do this,” I said to Erika as we came to a stop next to a private hangar and the co-pilot, a human, opened the door and saluted us off.
Waiting next to a Mercedes-Benz CLS-Class in silver - with the obligatory vampire tinted windows and 19 inch alloy wheels making it a bold statement against the black tarmac next to the hangar - was Gregor. Dark grey Armani suit, hands in pockets, long legs crossed at the ankles, leaning against the front door. Of course, he couldn't just drive a normal car, it had to be an uber-expensive, stand-out-in-a-crowd one.
Erika let out a low whistle. “Nice car.” But I knew she was looking at Gregor, her eyes hadn't even strayed to the Merc.
“Have you not met the Enforcer before?” I asked as we came down the plane's steps.
“Nah. I avoid Paris as much as possible, just not my bag.”
Gregor pushed off from the car and strode towards us, with a little Nosferatu glide thrown in for good measure. I'm picking that was for me, Erika could glide herself, it wouldn't have impressed her.
“Ma cherie, you look well.” So, the spruce up in the bathroom had done the trick, thankfully.
“Gregor, this is Erika Anders, Erika, Gregor... ah, the Enforcer.” I finished lamely, thinking: what is your last name?
He smiled at me, having heard the question in my mind. He thrust out his hand to Erika and said, “Gregor Morel.” But winked at me.
OK, Gregor Morel, good to know.
“So, a personal pick up by the boss, huh?” I frowned at that, it hadn't quite come out the way I had intended.
Of course, Gregor couldn't leave it. “You know, I am always keen to pick you up, ma petite chasseuse.” I let him have that one, I had left myself wide open after all.
Gregor stowed our bags in the boot and opened the front passenger door, I think for me, but I stepped behind him and opened the rear, sliding in before he could protest. Let Erika ride shotgun.
I couldn't see his face, but I was betting he was smiling. The game was on and I had just walked straight into it. Shit.
Gregor drove us straight to his club on Lambton Quay, Desire de Sang. Even I could translate that French: Blood Lust. I had no idea if that was what it had been called when Michel owned it, I had never come to Wellington with him back then. I presumed it was much the same as he left it, he'd only handed it over to the Iunctio two weeks ago, that hardly left any time for Gregor to stamp his mark.
“A little close to the truth, isn't it?” I asked as we drove pa
st the black and red façade, where a queue of people was winding down the footpath away from the vinyl clad vampire manning the door. I mean, vampires aren't out of the coffin yet, so to speak and this just screamed Nosferatu.
He just shrugged, that elegant shift of his shoulders that means everything and nothing and parked in a reserved spot round the side by a door that was marked private. He didn't get a chance to open my door, but then again, I think he wasn't even going to try, I'm sure he smirked as I swung it open as soon as the car came to a stop.
The club itself had a little more verve than Sensations. Where Sensations was all sleek and elegant with a little extravagance thrown in for good measure, Desire de Sang was playing the vampire vibe loud and proud. The staff were recognisable, not just because of their Sanguis Vitam running rampant around the room, but because of the amount of skin on display and the small, but very prominently placed strips of leather or vinyl. Everything straight out of a fantasy horror novel. Next they'd be serving up blood in bottles. The décor redolent of sinful deeds, dark shadows and hidden secrets, every item that graced the room chosen for its lush fabrics, sensual style and striking colours. Red and black only, nothing else.
It was almost too much. Tacky was the word that came to mind, but also not. Maybe I was being overly harsh due to the fact that, although a piss-take, it was actually pretty close to the truth. Not that vampires go around in leather, flashing skin all the time, but the atmosphere was definitely vampire lust on steroids. I shivered as we crossed the packed floor, recognising the power that floated around the room unchecked. They weren't even trying to hide it. The Norms were all but lost to the whims of the fanged amongst them.
This was wrong on so many levels. Against every rule the Iunctio would have, especially about keeping the Nosferatu hidden from the humans. This was an outing waiting to happen. What on Earth was Gregor thinking?
Gregor opened the door to an area marked private, leading us through to a plushly carpeted hallway and towards the back of the building. He pushed another door open and stood to the side, to allow Erika to pass. As I walked through the gap he had left, between himself and the door jam, his fingers brushed against mine, in an almost unconscious movement, unplanned but unavoidable. The moment his skin touched mine my breath was stolen, my heartbeat scattered and I stumbled against his chest.
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