“You must really think I’m Boo Boo the Fool, girl. I’m not letting up on this because it’s one thing to see you unhappy, but it’s another to see Rai going through it with this mess.”
“He’s fine, Mama,” I said turning back around to face her. I folded my arms across my chest and attempted to swallow my frustration. “He’s fine. I know that he was having some issues, but he’s good now. It’s a transition for everybody,” I offered. “I think that if I hadn’t said so much about me and . . . uhh . . . us . . . breaking up before it wouldn’t be an issue. I told too much of what was going on.”
“You didn’t tell too much. You told enough. And you told what needed to be told. He’s a hoe. Always been a hoe, and always gonna be a hoe and you know damn well you deserve better than that, baby.”
“Mama, it’s different this time,” I told her, knowing damn well it was the furthest thing from the truth.
“Is it, now?” she asked, tilting her head as if to decipher any messages my soul had to offer.
My mother made her way over to where I stood without taking her eyes off of me. Her brown eyes bore into mine, accusation sitting right inside her irises. I blinked to remove myself from the unwitting trance that I’d been put in since she began her slow walk toward me.
“Mama, I love you, but I gotta go. Rai!” I yelled out. “Let’s go, babe!”
I grabbed my jacket from the back of the chair that I was sitting in and proceeded past my mother and out of her kitchen.
“He knows doesn’t he, Chanel?”
I felt as though thunder had just roared through the clear skies unexpectedly. I stopped dead in my tracks as her words dangled in the air and caught me off guard. When the momentary shock wore off, I continued toward the door, determined to escape.
“Answer me,” she ordered.
“He knows what?” I asked barely above a whisper. It was as though someone had knocked the wind out of me.
“He knows what you think that I don’t know.”
When radio silence fell upon the room, I thought I was going to die. I felt nothing that was attached to me. My arms, my legs, my own face. I was numb, and so sure that I was going to topple if I didn’t grab ahold of something—anything.
“Ma, you called me?” Rai asked, suddenly appearing to save the day, snapping me from the place of my near-demise.
“Uh-uh-Huh,” I stuttered, as I struggled to find my voice. “Yes, baby, I did. It’s time to go,” I told him without looking back at my mother.
When Rai walked past me to go and give his grandmother a hug, I seized the opportunity to make my planned escape to the car. I knew that now it was only a matter of time . . .
CHAPTER 43
Chanel
“Hey, what’s up, Rai,” Tyler greeted when we walked inside on our return from my mother’s house. True to his word, he was still there when we got back.
“Hey,” Rai replied, but continuing on through to another part of the house.
“I told you I’d be here when y’all got back. I want to show you that I’m serious about all of this. That I take it seriously. You know?”
I didn’t respond to Tyler as he spoke because my mind was in a million places. I was back at my mother’s with that whole argument and then her last comment. I was with Dario earlier in the day, making beautiful love like it was the natural thing to do. I was in my feelings, knowing that my son had taken such a hit with our new arrangement. I had been so afraid to face my past that I was willing to shake up the world that I valued the most. I was seeing for the first time that I couldn’t allow fear to dictate how I moved, and make my own way. However bleak the end looked, I had to be brave enough to see for myself how things would turn out. So, I had made a major decision to say, Fuck fear in that moment.
“Ma, I’m going outside for a bit.”
“Alright baby,” I said as I watched Rai leave out the front door. And it was a good thing that he was going to be outside the house because I had more than a few choice words for Tyler that I didn’t need for him to hear.
“Come into the kitchen with me real quick, Tyler.”
When we made it into the kitchen, Tyler walked over to the island and leaned against it with his hands in his pockets. “What’s going on?” he asked.
I grabbed my bottle of sweet red wine from the refrigerator, went to the cabinet to get a glass and poured until the glass was filled. I was going to need it. I didn’t bother offering him anything because with any luck, after I said what I had to say, he would be on his way out my damn life once and for all.
After I took my seat, it prompted Tyler to do the same. “So, this is a wine kinda conversation, I see. What’s goin’ on? We ‘bout to do this for real-for real, or what?”
I took the first big gulp of my wine, and allowed it to simmer. “No, Tyler, we’re not.”
The look on his face was priceless and worthy of another sip of my wine. I smiled inwardly as I began feeling lighter by the minute. My spirit was lifting and it was the most invigorating feeling in the world.
“What do you mean, ‘no, we’re not’?”
“Just what I said, Tyler. I’m not doing this. It’s already taken too much of a toll and it should’ve never gained as much traction as it has.”
“Well, it did and it’s because you know what’s at stake.” He leaned forward on the table with the cockiest look I’d ever seen in his eyes. “I’m pretty sure you—”
“The only thing at stake here is my sanity, Tyler. The only thing at stake is me losing the love of my son because of this mess that I’ve gotten us into.”
“Oh, you’re gonna lose him alright. Especially if you don’t get off this bullshit you’re riding right now.” Tyler stood from the table and came to sit in the chair that was right next to me. He got as close in my face as he could to where I could feel the heat from his breathe when he spoke. “Kill the fuckin’ noise, Chanel. You already know that—”
“What makes you so desperate, Tyler?” I spat back, unaffected. It was past the liquor. I certainly didn’t need liquid courage to go to war with his ass. I was ready. “You made a habit out of sticking your dick in any bitch with nipples, when you did have me. What do you want with little ole me? Is it because you just can’t take the fact that a woman doesn’t want you? Is that it, Tyler? Is that what drove your desire and desperation? Is that it?”
“Women wanting me ain’t never been a problem, baby girl. And desperate is something I ain’t never been, sweetheart.” He began a light chuckle before leaning back into his seat. “You can ask your sister about that.”
A smile spread wide across my face. Honestly, he wasn’t telling me anything I hadn’t already suspected. Tyler was a big part of the reason that girl hated me. She always had a thing for him. The fact that she knew him before I did . . . yet, I was the one he chose to be with . . . burned her all the way up. So, no, not a single part of his comment shocked me. Nor did I give a fuck.
“I hope you’re not expecting a reaction from me, Tyler. I. Don’t. Care. You can fuck all of Rochelle’s insides out and make fifteen babies with her and I still wouldn’t give even half a shit. The only thing that I care about right now is that you leave and go on about your life and let me get to what I need to get to for mine. I got conversations to have and fences to mend and I can’t do that with you around.” I took the last sip of my glass of red wine and then stood up and stuck my hand out. “Give me my key and get out of my house, Tyler.”
The smug look that he once had on his dumb-ass face dissipated. I guess it was finally dawning on him that I meant business. He stared at me for a few moments as though I’d spoken in a language that he didn’t understand.
“So, you’re really doing this?” he asked.
“I’m really doing this.” I held out my hand. “My key, please.”
“You’re risking a whole lot. You sure you wanna do that?”
“I’m sure. Give me my key. I’m not gonna ask again.”
He took the key
out and sat it on my table and then smiled. “Here, let me be a gentleman and help you out a little bit. Rai!” he called as loudly as he could.
“What are you doing?!” I asked, snapping into a panic, grabbing onto the back of his shirt as he made his way out of the kitchen. I was in fight mode. I clawed at him desperately, even knowing that he was much stronger.
“Rai!” he called out again.
“Don’t do that, Tyler! It’s not for you to do!”
“Oh no?! I told you how it was gonna be and since you want to change the game up then we—”
“What’s going on, Mama!” Rai yelled, bursting into the house. “Get your hands off my mother!” he hollered lunging toward Tyler.
“No, baby! It’s okay!” I yelled, jumping in front of Tyler to intercept any action on my son’s part. “Just go, Tyler!” I nudged. “Just go!”
“Not before I help you out,” he replied calmly.
“Don’t do this, Tyler, please! Don’t do—”
“Don’t do what, Chanel? Tell Rai that—”
Before I knew it, I had charged forward and began raining blows against Tyler’s face, his body and anything else that I could make a connection with. In my efforts to silence him, I blacked out, trying to tear him apart.
In the midst of the chaos, I could feel Rai pulling on me from behind, and Tyler’s hands were up in front of him guarding his face, but he was laughing the whole time.
“You muthafucka!” I screamed, enraged.
“Ma, stop! Just let him leave! We don’t want him here anyway!” Rai expressed.
I snapped out of whatever state of rage I was in and stood still, my heart beating out of my chest, aching furiously and unforgiving. Tyler swiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Apparently, I’d managed to cut him during my attack. I stared at him with pleading eyes filled with hate, and when he looked at me, I knew that the end had arrived. He was about to do it. God no. Please, God no. I’m begging.
I shook my head, tears pouring from me, while he looked on unaffected. “Just go,” I mouthed. “Just go,” I whispered, knowing that he wouldn’t, and that my silent prayer would go unanswered.
“She’s not your mother, Rai. Chanel is not your mother. You’re welcome,” he said nonchalantly after dropping that three-thousand pound bomb on my whole life. He opened the front door to leave then delivered his finale. “Now that that part is out, I’ll leave so she can tell you where she got you from.”
CHAPTER 44
Chanel
I had been stripped down to nothing. I felt like nothing and nobody.
The most selfless acts are born out of being a mother.
Being a mother, while not something that I was prepared for when it happened, matured me to the point that I gave up a path I had already carved out for myself. I restructured everything to make room for motherhood. That was all that mattered to me when Rai came along—making his life right. From the first moment I laid eyes on him to the first time I held him in my arms, to the first time he called me Mama. Life became about him.
Not one time for one moment or second in twelve years did I ever think about the fact that I hadn’t given birth to Rai. Not once. He did come from me. Everything that he is came from the love I gave him. He’s mine and always will be. That’s not anything that anybody can take away from me.
“Mom . . . Mom . . .” I was hearing it over and over as my eyes fought to open. I was sure I was hearing things until I felt my hand being rubbed. “I love you, Ma. Please wake up. Please.”
I tried to swallow and immediately realized not only how dry my mouth was, but how sore my throat was too. The more I heard Rai’s voice calling to me, the more anxious I became about opening my eyes.
My baby needed me. I could hear him. I could feel his touch and I needed to get to him. Then I saw Tyler’s smile and his face light up at victory, saying the words, “I’ll leave so she can tell you where she got you from . . .” before turning to leave.
Then I’m running to grab onto Rai. I’m trying to hold him back, but his strength is too much for me. “Rai! No, baby! Nooo!” He’s moving quickly toward an absconding Tyler and when he lunges for Tyler, Tyler turns around to block Rai’s reign and . . . the concrete. There’s blood. It’s coming from my baby. “Rai!” I’m screaming as I run to him falling on the ground beside him. “Helppp! Somebody call 9-1-1! Help!”
I have to wake up! My baby needs me!
Rai, Mama is coming!
When I sprang up, my heart was palpitating through my chest sending sharp spasms right along with it. I wanted to grab my chest to calm the pain, but I wanted my baby even more. The pain could wait.
“Calm down, Chanel,” I heard a voice say.
“No! I can’t,” I said making a move to get off the bed or whatever it was that I was on. “Move!” I said, pushing past the woman in white.
“Hold on, I got her,” I heard my mother say.
“You don’t got me! Mooove! Where’s Rai!” I cried out in desperation. “Where is my son?!”
Seconds later, I could feel myself slipping back into darkness. I felt the fight in me but it was a façade, for there was no fight in me and before long, everything had once again faded to black.
CHAPTER 45
Dario
“What time am I meeting you at Suite 713?” Quinton asked from the other end of my phone.
“Of all the places to go, you pick there,” I said, shaking my head.
“Aye, you didn’t say where we could do drinks, you just said it was cool. Now you bitchin’ out?”
“Never that. Not at all.”
“Good, because I got a couple of chicks coming through . . . nice-looking ones, too.”
I didn’t know how I felt about going on Chanel’s turf and potentially having a woman up in my space, but I did tell Q that I’d hang out, so I was going to keep my word. Besides, Chanel had long moved on and as expected, I hadn’t heard from her.
“I’m hearing hesitation up on the other end of that there receiver, dude.”
“That’s your mind playin’ tricks on you, Bro. I’m good. What time did you wanna meet up?”
“I’m thinking about eleven, maybe a little before.”
“That’s cool. I’ll shoot you off a text when I’m headed your way.”
I got up off the oversized sofa chair in my California room and walked inside my bedroom. I really didn’t feel like getting drinks after the day I’d had. Kinda just wanted to chill, but it was probably a good thing that I was going. I couldn’t stop thinking about making love to Chanel earlier in the day, and then telling her about my conversation with Rai. If I knew her like I thought I did, then she was probably going to be holed up in the house trying to connect with her kid. If that woman didn’t care about anything else, she cared about Rai and that was one of the things that I really admired about her.
The connection that we had wasn’t just some fly by night connection; it was real chemistry. I swore that I wouldn’t ever chase after a woman, but she had me wanting to do just that and if I saw her tonight, I was going to do just that. I knew where she belonged and she did too. It was clear as day when we . . .
Interrupting my thoughts was a picture that flashed across my big screen. I grabbed the remote as quickly as I could and aimed it at the television to increase the volume.
“And in local news, retired Redskins tight end, Tyler Johnson, was arrested this afternoon. Police say that Johnson was arrested on charges of assaulting a minor. That minor, the son of rumored girlfriend, club owner, Chanel Norwood, is—”
From the time I snatched my keys, ran out my house, zipping in and out of traffic at high speeds on the freeway and ran inside Alta Bates, had to be some kind of record. I’m sure of it. I jetted into the first parking space I saw and sprinted inside the electric doors.
“I’m looking for a patient,” I stated anxiously to the security guard behind the desk.
“Name please?”
“Rai Norwood. R-a-i . . . N-o-rwo
od.”
He looked up at me once he had the information in front of him. “He’s in the ICU, which is located on the fourth floor of the Merritt Pavilion. The elevators—”
I was already gone by the time he was giving directions. I hopped on the elevator and the moment the doors closed, I was right there at the edge of the slit waiting for my exit. I looked up every so many seconds anxious to reach my floor. When the signal dinged and the doors slid open, I ran straight for the waiting room attached to the nurse’s station to gain permission to see Rai. As I approached, I saw a familiar face sitting near the window, and took the short detour.
“Excuse me, my name is Dario. You’re Chanel’s sister, right?” I asked the young woman.
“Yes . . . I am,” she responded, slowly giving me a curious look. “I’m Rochelle.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said.
“I’m Chanel’s mother, Denise,” the woman next to her said. Looking at both of them quickly revealed that they had been crying. Their eyes were puffy and bloodshot red, each holding tissue in their hands. Chanel’s mother had the worry of a hundred people etched across her beautiful face.
I looked around the room in search of Chanel. “Is Chanel here?” I asked, directing my question at them both.
“She’s here,” Denise responded, pointing in a direction past the nurse’s station. “She’s back there . . .”
Her voice cracked before she could finish, so her daughter stepped in to finish. “She’s back there with Rai. I’m sure she’d want you to wait for her, though.” The compassion in her voice surprised me for some reason. Maybe it was everything that Chanel had told me about her.
“Oh, I’m not going anywhere. In fact, I’ll be back. I need to go and speak with the nurses really fast.”
CHAPTER 46
Chanel
In the Ring: A Dario Caivano Novel Page 17
