by Leo Romero
I pointed at the cards on the table. “Look. Two pair beats a pair.”
Zane nodded. “Okay.”
“Three of a kind beats two pairs.”
“Why?”
“It just does. A straight beats three of a kind. A flush beats a straight.”
“But why?”
“Probability, dummy! Now shut up and listen.”
“Wooh, this is exhausting. How about a trick to lighten things up?” He gathered up the cards.
I watched him in bemusement. “What are you doing?”
He fanned out the cards and showed them to me. “Pick a card, any card.”
“Zane, we don’t have time for this.”
“Come on, just one trick. You’ll like this. Just pick a card.”
I huffed and picked a card. It was the seven of diamonds.
“Now, don’t show me,” Zane said, touching his forehead with his fingertips.
“Okay,” I said without any enthusiasm.
He held his fingers in the air, pointing them at my card. He hummed and began making small circles on the air with his fingers, acting like he was Doctor Strange. After a few seconds, the card in my hand burst into flames. Aurora yelped. I recoiled, throwing the burning card down on the table.
Zane pointed at the remains. “Was that your card?”
“Very funny,” I said, reaching over and snatching the deck from him.
“Well I thought so,” Zane said, giving Aurora a wink.
I needed to put this guy in his place. Without saying another word, I grabbed the cards and performed a backhand dancing Buddha riffle, my signature shuffle. Zane’s jaw dropped and his head almost fell off trying to keep up with the cards as they arced and spiraled across the air from one hand to the other. When all the cards were resting in a neat pile in my left hand, Zane came to a halt, his jaw almost slapping the table.
“How did you do that?” he asked, his eyes still whirling.
“Magic.”
“Teach me.”
“No. Today is learn to play poker day.”
Zane rubbed his chin and narrowed his eyes. “Haven’t you got some kind of badass deck of cards that you use to call monsters?”
“Yeah, the Deck of Death,” Aurora said.
I gave her daggers. Didn’t like this little fool knowing my shit.
“Didn’t you win it from Death or something?” Zane asked.
“Yeah. So he says,” said Aurora.
I spun to face her. “What do you mean, ‘so he says’? You don’t believe me? I beat that SOB after I was sent to Purgatory. I busted my way outta there and demanded I meet the Reaper. I chose my game. We played. I won. And as a result of my efforts, I got to keep his personal deck of cards.”
“Let me see them!” demanded Zane.
“Hey, we’re supposed to be learning poker here.”
“Come on, Mr. Stone, let me see them.”
I groaned. I knew the little asshole wasn’t gonna give up. I reluctantly pulled out my Deck of Death and handed them over. “Careful with those. They’re like super TNT.”
Zane’s eyes lit up. “Whoa,” he gasped as he took hold of them and began rifling through them. “So you’re telling me all of these cards has its own unique monster bound to it.”
“Most of them, yeah.”
He showed me the eight of clubs. “What’s in this?”
I almost went to say the name, when I realized it would summon the monster from the Void. I cleared my throat. “A hydra.”
“Wow!” He began sifting through them with more enthusiasm. “What about this one?”
He was showing me the king of hearts. “A manticore.”
“A what?”
“A legendary creature with a lion’s body, a human head, a scorpion tail and bat wings.”
“Awesome. Where did you get all these creatures?”
“Mostly while on safari on Monster Island.”
“Where’s that?”
“The Netherworld.”
“Sounds so cool.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you’d been there.”
“Man, this is so cool!” he said as he sifted through more cards. He showed me the ace of spades. My eyes widened.
“And what’s in this one?”
“Give me that!” I snatched it from his grip and he flinched.
“Hey, easy, Mr. Stone. I’m just asking a question. No need to get violent!”
I took a deep breath as I gazed down at that giant spade staring back at me, as black as ink. The edges of it shimmered like ground mist. I held it up for Zane to see. “We never, ever play this card.”
Zane’s face flushed with intrigue; his eyes were wide, his mouth was agape like a kid entranced by a ghost story by the campfire. “Why not?”
“’Cause the thing bound to this card will rip you, me and everyone else a new one.”
Zane gazed in dumb awe at the card. “Awesome! What is it?”
I leaned in closer. “You. Don’t. Wanna. Know!” I slammed my fist down on the table and Zane almost crapped himself. I chuckled as I leaned over and snatched the deck from him.
“Hey! That’s not funny, Mr. Stone.”
“Enough playing. Let’s get back to the serious kind of playing.”
“All right,” Aurora said, making me face her. “So I get that you can’t take part in the game because you’re banned from the Netherworld Strip. But if Frogface is hosting the game, he’ll recognize me as well.”
“Not if he can’t see you,” I told her.
Aurora frowned. “I thought you said trick of the light magic wouldn’t work well on the Strip.”
I nodded. “I did.”
Aurora huffed. “Okay, Gabe. Tell me. What’s the scam this time?”
I looked at Zane. “You still got it?”
Zane grinned and nodded slow. He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and retrieved that small scotch bottle filled with that nasty, glowing, orange gloop. With that grin still on, he handed me the bottle.
I took it and gave it to Aurora. “Drink.”
Aurora’s top lip curled up. “What? No way! That stuff looks like toxic waste.”
“That’s ’cause it is,” I said.
Aurora looked at me aghast.
“No it isn’t, Aurora,” Zane said. “It’s a Potion of Invisibility.”
Aurora’s eyes lit up. “Ooh! Cool!” She gazed at the contents of the bottle in wonder.
“Drink it,” I ordered.
She gave me an unsure look.
“It’s okay, Aurora. It’s perfectly safe. It’s three years of hard work,” Zane told her, giving her a sincere stare. “I promise it’ll be okay.”
Aurora shrugged. “Well, I’ve always wanted to turn invisible.” She unscrewed the cap and sniffed the contents. “Smells nice.”
I gave her an encouraging smile.
“Oh well, here goes. Bottoms up!” She took a small swig. She licked her lips afterward. “Hmm, it tastes quite nice as well!”
“That’ll be the citrus peel and clove oil,” Zane said with a sure grin. I gave him a peeved look. Smug smartass.
Aurora drank some more and we both stared at her in anticipation while we waited for the potion to kick in.
“Ooh, I feel all tingly,” she said.
Zane crossed his arms over his chest. “That means it’s working.”
It began to take effect. She faded away like Mickey J, and both Zane and I were grinning like Cheshire cats.
Aurora gazed down at her arms as they dissipated from view. “Wow! This is so cool.”
Zane met my stare and we both beamed at one another like the best of buddies.
I looked back at Aurora and my smile faded alongside her. A pair of eyeballs with bottle-green irises were now roving on the air.
I glared at Zane, unamused. He shot me a sheepish look in return, his lips pulled back in a fake grin.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Aurora asked, those eyes boring into us both.
“Haven’t you fixed that?” I growled at Zane, flicking my head toward those eyes.
“Fixed what?” Aurora asked. “I’m invisible! This is so cool!”
“Since I spent the afternoon running from gargoyles, I haven’t had the chance,” Zane said.
I grumbled under my breath and looked back at those eyes. They hovered on the air like ping pong balls. Staring at them reminded me of that soup scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Yeah, you know which one. I grabbed my head. “Why the hell does that happen!” I growled.
“I believe it has something to do with aura signatures. The potion works by interacting with one’s aura. The aura is manipulated to cause the individual to become undetectable to the naked eye. There’s obviously some kind of anomaly that means tiny sections of the aura are left untouched. It’s the only explanation I have.”
“More like it’s your crappy potion being no good!”
Zane showed me his palms. “Before you explode, and whip out your sword and start hacking off my limbs, there’s a simple fix.”
“Do. It!” I said between my clenched teeth.
He reached into his inner jacket pocket again, pulled out a pair of shades and held them up for me to see. He headed over to Aurora’s eyeballs. “Here, put these on.”
“Okay,” Aurora said, taking hold of them. The moment she did, they vanished from view.
“If something is in close enough proximity to the skin whilst under the influence, it should also turn invisible as it temporarily becomes part of the aura’s signature,” Zane explained.
Aurora must have put on the shades because those eyeballs disappeared alongside everything else.
Zane whirled around. “Et voilà!” he said, holding his hands out toward the empty space where Aurora used to be.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Hmm. All right. We’ll have to remember to take those with us.”
“That would be very wise,” Zane agreed.
“How do you feel, Aurora?” I asked.
“Awesome! Oh, the fun you could have playing tricks with this!”
“Just have to check. Do some ESP on me.”
“This okay?” Aurora spoke in my mind.
I nodded. “Peachy. Now do it on him.”
I stared at Zane. His head abruptly spun and he grabbed hold of his temples. After a second, he smiled. “Why that’s so kind of you, Aurora. I actually feel the same way about you.”
Aurora giggled.
I rolled my eyes. “For crying out loud! Enough fooling around, you two.”
Zane straightened his back. “Yes sir!”
“That’s how you’re gonna win, kid,” I said to Zane. “Aurora will tell you what cards the other players are holding, that way you’ll know who’s bluffing and who isn’t.”
Zane rubbed his chin. “Neat plan, Mr. Stone.”
“I’m full of ’em. And you better not mess this up. I need Pegasus for a multitude of reasons and there’s no room for failure.”
“Jeez, Mr. Stone, you sound like my dad.”
Aurora chuckled. I turned to face her, slow. “Something funny?” I said to the air.
“Only you thinking you’re speaking to me over there...”
I snapped my head around to where the voice came from, scanning the room.
“When I’m actually in your head,” her voice said in my mind.
I grabbed my forehead. “Is everyone in my life a pain in the ass?” I lamented. “Come on, let’s get back to poker 101.”
Chapter 6
We sat there until dawn playing hand after hand of poker until Zane finally got his head around the rules. He actually began winning a few hands against me, which was a good sign. Turned out he wasn’t a bad bluffer, which was as I suspected what with his necromancer background and all. Devious as snakes. I told him to get some sleep before nightfall when we’d head for the Strip. I’d already contacted Duante and told him to get Zane’s name down for the game. It wasn’t easy to get him on there. Pegasus was hot property, and the games on the Strip were always jam-packed. Duante was able to pull a few strings for me, pat a couple of backs, owe one or two small favors, and he managed to squeeze Zane in on the final lineup. It was a mix of good and bad. There was a wily elf called Jharek—Zane would have to watch him. A dumb ogre called Bark—he’d be no problem. A catwoman called Susu—hmm, medium. And finally, Gash. Bogface. Reunited once again. I wasn’t too pleased to see his name on the table. He was the one who bagged Aurora and used her as first prize in a card game. I sneaked in on that game and took her away. He’d recognize both her and myself in a heartbeat. I had to hope our plan didn’t go wrong and we both stayed hidden while Zane did the business.
Aurora stuck with me while I went to the Guild to catch up on my paperwork. She could get some rest there. I didn’t want her going back to the Underworld where time was all screwy. We needed her for the game, and I couldn’t afford for her to miss it. We arrived and Brutus was still absent from his post. The Guild needed some type of protection. I pulled out my Deck of Death and sifted through until I got to the jack of clubs. I took a look around to make sure there were no prying eyes, which there never were as the area surrounding the Guild was so run-down. I threw the card down on the sidewalk and said, “Rabid Boulderhide.” There was a flash and a puff of smoke as a section of the sidewalk opened up, exposing the Void beyond. Shimmering darkness oozed out of the opening like slime. A gnarly hand as gray as the sidewalk burst out of the darkness and grabbed the edge of the opening. Another swiftly followed up, and a giant rhino horn jutted out of the darkness like Jaws’ fin breaking the surface of the water. Rabid’s rugged snout followed, his mouth turned downward in a mean expression. His rhino head emerged, followed by a colossal man-like body muscled beyond anything any normie had seen. He was like Popeye; his muscles had muscles.
Rabid hauled himself out of the Void and stood on the sidewalk, a granite giant, loincloth covering what must be a manhood that would make horses envious. Thank the almighty he was wearing that or Aurora might’ve fainted on the spot.
He stood there to attention, all brawn and no brains, his chiseled chest heaving under the weight of his normal intake of breath.
I cupped my hands around my mouth. “Hey, Rabid!”
With a grunt, Rabid snapped his head down to meet mine. His mouth turned further downward. This sucker wasn’t smiling for anyone.
“Hey, Rabid, you stand guard here.”
Rabid nodded with a throaty growl.
“If you see any gargoyles, you break ’em.”
“Rabid break gargoyles in two!” he barked. “Rabid stand over there and keep guard.”
“That’s my boy.”
“Rabid wanna fight! Bring on the gargoyles. Where they at?” He smashed one fist into his free palm with a stone-like smack and looked about him.
“All in good time, buddy. Just go and take your post.”
He jabbed a finger my way. “Maybe you wanna fight? Come on, fight me, sucker!”
Oh boy! “Look, I know you love nothing more than smacking heads.”
“Smacking heads good. I wanna smack yours!”
He advanced. I threw up my palms. “Whoa, boy! No, no, no! My head’s no fun to smack!”
“All heads fun to smack. I wanna smack yours, sucker!”
Oh man, this isn’t going how I planned. Trust me to get the Mr. T of the rhinoman world. I backed up, Aurora cowering behind me. “Do something, Gabe! He’s gonna kill us!”
“Wanna smack some heads!” Rabid grunted as he advanced, smacking one fist into his free hand. “Bring it on, sucker! Fight me!”
Was this guy for real? He was twice the size of me and built out of extra tough rhino hide. Maybe he just liked picking on little guys!
“Fight me!” he bellowed, his massive frame now shadowing me.
I had to act fast. I pulled out Bam Bam. “Blast that bully!” she demanded.
I pulled the trigger. A blast slug shot out and connected with Rabid
’s bulbous shoulder where it exploded into multicolored pixie dust. Rabid was sent flying back with a roar of pain, his tree-trunk-like limbs flailing. He smashed down onto the sidewalk, making a huge rhinoman shaped dent, cracks spreading out all over the sidewalk surrounding him. Aurora peeked over my shoulder as I blew the smoke from Bam Bam’s muzzle, my eyes fixed on Rabid.
“Is he dead?” Aurora asked with a small gasp.
Rabid released a long, drawn-out groan.
“Doesn’t look like it,” I answered.
Rabid slowly sat up, his eyes in a daze. There was a blackened mark across his shoulder. He began rubbing his head.
I went over to him while reloading Bam Bam with blast slugs. “You okay, buddy?”
Rabid gave me a stern nod. “You good. Real good! That was the hardest Rabid ever been hit!”
I nodded. “Well, yeah...and I was just getting started.”
He pointed up at me. “You got Rabid’s respect,” he growled, his mouth still turned downward.
“That’s good to hear,” I replied, holstering Bam Bam. I wanted to offer him my hand but was worried he’d crush it to death.
He hoisted himself up to his feet and gazed down at me. “Rabid and you friends.”
“Yeah, we’re friends. And friends lookout for one another. So you watch the street for gargoyles. You see any, you smack ’em! Okay?”
“Rabid’s gonna smack gargoyles for friend! Bring on the gargoyles.” He started doing that fist smacking thing again.
I nodded in appreciation. I did a trick of the light masking spell on him. Couldn’t have a rhinoman standing around on the streets. So, I turned him into a streetlight, albeit a very thick one. I left him to keep guard and headed for the Guild, Aurora racing up behind me.
“How did you know you weren’t going to kill him with those slugs?” she asked.
“He’s not called Boulderhide for nothing. That skin is as hard as diamond. The gargoyles are stone, which is a bit more brittle, hence why I thought blast slugs would work well against them. It would probably take an atom bomb to break Rabid.”
We entered the club area and Jerome was once again behind the bar. I gazed around. Enforcers were at their desks. Some of their hands were trembling as they filled in their forms. There were a few twitchy glances my way as the door closed behind me. Everyone was edgy. Jerome must have put the warning out and word must’ve gotten around about the recent hunter deaths. No doubt everyone had gargoyle on the brain. I strode solemnly past everyone as I went up to the bar. Jerome glared at me, his eyes brimming with concern.
