by Leo Romero
I put it out of its misery. I pulled back Excalibur and punched him through the thing’s back, aiming for its heart. The vamp straightened, its limbs stiffening. The light magic on Excalibur went to work, rupturing and burning the thing’s blackened heart from the inside out. The vamp juddered as if electrified while I plunged Excalibur in deeper, black blood squirting out the front of the wound like a geyser. I gritted my teeth and turned the hilt. The vampire’s screech went supernova. It invaded my ears like a swarm of killer bees. A hot stench of barbequed rotten meat filled my nostrils and I almost gagged. I held on long enough for the vamp to literally erupt into a ball of flames. I retracted Excalibur and stepped back. The vamp-inferno sprinted across the alley like it was a chicken with its head cut off, bumping into its brethren on the way. It smashed into the wall where it collapsed onto the ground to burn to ash.
I snatched a relieved breath. Ahead of me, the werewolf was fighting a losing battle against vamp claws and fangs. He’d managed to take a couple down, but it was like hyenas on a lion. He held on though, swiping and clawing with the best of them.
On seeing what I’d done to one of their own, other vamps now turned their attention to me. They stormed in toward me. My back straightened. I raised Excalibur and a choir of howling behind us stopped us all in our tracks. My heart filled with dread. With frantic eyes, I turned back. Oh no.
Werewolves stormed into the far end of the alley like a pack of hungry dogs. I’m screwed.
I watched the rabid pack like a deer in headlights as they galloped at full speed toward us all. Before I had a chance to react, werewolf claws were lashing at anything and everything. Vamps caught them full in the face, grating them. I raised Excalibur in the nick of time to stop a claw snatching my head. Its wrist connected with the flat edge of Excalibur’s blade, causing a bright flash. We both staggered in opposite directions. I turned to be faced with a vampire’s open mouth, ready to bite. I pulled out Bam Bam and fired all in one motion. A blast slug popped out and hit the sucker in the face, pixie dust exploding out all over the place. The impact threw the vamp in the air. It crashed into the ground, a twisted, melted mess. A werewolf raced over and began gnawing at its burned face like it was a dog with a bone. The vamp screeched and flailed as hard as it could, its claws raking down the werewolf’s massive arms.
I stared at the chaos ahead, my mind in a whirl. I didn’t know what to do, or where to go. I was dead meat. Around me, werewolves and vampires clashed in true gangster style, blood and claws flying everywhere. Howls and screeches violated the airwaves. It was a goddamn zoo. A free for all. And somewhere at the back of it all, Aurora and Zane were down, injured.
I needed help if I was going to survive. I dipped a hand into my pocket and pulled out the first card I touched. The jack of spades. I threw it on the ground. “Skarr!” I shouted. There was the obligatory puff of smoke and the door to the Void opened up. Out jumped the cyclops, Skarr, armed with a huge, double-headed axe. He must’ve stood eight feet tall, bigger than anything in the alley right then. Yeah, he’ll help me out.
He looked left and right, hunger for destruction painted all over his ugly face, his bulging eye boiling with desire for annihilation. He gazed down at me and without hesitation, raised his axe above his head. My eyes widened in concern. I backed up, waving my hands on the air. “No, no, no,” I protested, but it wasn’t enough to stop the juggernaut of devastation stomping after me like the Incredible Hulk with a sore head.
Skarr released an almighty war cry and brought his axe down with all his strength. “Whoa!” I shouted as I twisted my body to the side. The axe head whistled past me and crunched into the concrete. With a grunt, Skarr dragged it back into the air, flecks of concrete erupting out of the gash on the ground. He fixed his glare on me again and let out another roar, this time swiping the axe across the air.
I arched my back as far as it would go.
The axe missed my stomach by inches. Skarr didn’t give up. He whipped the axe back the way it came. I ducked, the whoop of the axe slicing the air above my head. Man, he’s supposed to be on my side!
I shot back upright just in time to catch a glimpse of the axe head hurtling my way. I jumped to the side, the axe slamming deep into the concrete with a chunky thud. Skarr grappled with the handle, desperate to pull it out of the ground and have another try. I grabbed a moment to catch my breath, my gaze fixed on the enraged cyclops as he twitched left and right trying to pull that axe out of the ground. Eventually, he did. He staggered back under the momentum, then turned to face me once more, grunting and panting.
I jabbed a finger his way. “Hey!” I said to him. “Not me! Them!” I pointed at the fighting vamps and werewolves around us.
Skarr twitched his head around to meet them all.
“You get the werewolves, I’ll get the vampires,” I told him.
Skarr nodded and set off with a war cry bolting from his throat, his axe held high. He made a beeline for the nearest werewolf and swung his axe like he was felling a tree. The werewolf’s head was lopped off with a gush of blood. The head spun through the air like a basketball. It hit the alley wall and landed smack in the middle of an open trash can for a three pointer. I nodded in appreciation of his work. Nice job. Skarr rushed off with a roar, his head trembling, unruly hair wild, his bloodstained axe ready to go a’chopping.
I afforded myself a brief smile. But there was no respite. Something came in from the left. I turned to be faced with a werewolf sporting fang marks all over his arms and claw marks running across his pecs. He lumbered up to me in a drunken daze, haphazardly scratching the air like a blind man. I dodged and weaved and popped him with a blast slug. The explosion sent him staggering recklessly into a wall, leaving a cloud of pixie dust in his wake.
A vampire took the chance to jump me from behind. It landed on my back, weighing me down. Its hot, rancid breath raked across my neck. A slick tongue ran across my skin and I thought I was going to throw up. Ivory fangs threatened to pierce my neck. I reacted involuntarily, jabbing the tip of Excalibur over my shoulder. There was an abrupt squelch and I was relieved of the foul creature. I kept Excalibur held steady as I turned, and I was faced with the vamp. I’d poked Excalibur right through the asshole’s eye. Scorch marks and flames burst out across its face from the blade embedded in its eye socket. I gave the hilt a twist and the vamp howled in unrivaled agony. A sick grin spread across my face. Oh boy, that feels good!
I pushed Excalibur in harder and the thing’s head exploded in a blaze of light magic. Black blood and brains splattered all over everything before the headless vamp staggered around, its wings twitching. I barely had time to wipe the blood and white goo from my blade when a werewolf dived in, claws bared. My heart leaped into my throat and I tried to lift Bam Bam. My reactions were too slow. The werewolf hit my chest and shoulders like a leaping dog and sent me flying back. Both Excalibur and Bam Bam fell from my grip as I thudded onto the concrete, the breath stolen from my lungs. I barely had time to think, when a moist, black snout got in my face. Thick saliva dripped from tusk-like fangs and dribbled over my cheeks. Warm breath blew into my face in time with the werewolf’s guttural panting. I tried to wriggle away, but his weight was like a truck on top of me. Deep down in my mind, I knew I was done. This thing was way too powerful for me and he had my forearms pinned down, stopping me from using my light magic.
Animalistic, amber eyes glared down at me, boring through my very soul. “I got you now, pendejo!” the werewolf snarled.
I narrowed my eyes. “L-Lobo?” I stammered in disbelief. Holy moly, he must really hate my guts to come down here personally to kill me!
I watched on, helpless as his mighty jaws opened up, pink dominating my view, his uvula hanging there at the back of his chasm-like throat like a giant punching bag. I got a miasma of rancid, rotten-meat breath in my face, which made my stomach crawl.
Come on, Skarr, where are you? I prayed for him to come and save the day, but it looked like he was too busy ch
opping werewolf heads.
Lobo’s massive chest puffed up with air and then he descended, those stupendous jowls crashing down toward me.
A car horn blasted out from somewhere, followed by tires screeching on tarmac.
The noise halted Lobo, who stopped midway to chewing off my face and looked up. I snapped my head to the side.
More cars screeched to a halt outside the alleyway. I caught a glimpse of a canary-yellow Lamborghini, a tangerine Ferrari, and a neon-blue Porsche. Bodies jumped out of them and ran toward us. As they went, they shifted from human to burly bear form, tearing out of their expensive shirts and pants, hundreds of dollars of clothing just ripped to shreds.
One at the front remained human, all six feet plus of him, eyes like chips of ice. Olev Stravinsky.
The Russian mafia had popped out of nowhere in their sports cars to save the day. Talk about arriving on the scene in style.
“Leave these bastards to us, Stone!” Olev growled, right as his form shifted into bear. Tattered clothes fell off him as he stormed right up to us, his legs pumping as hard as they could. In barely a second, he reached us and swung a massive paw. He connected with Lobo so hard, I felt the tremors. Lobo was sent flying off me. He clattered into a dumpster and bounced away. Olev pounded past me into the hubbub, his guys swiftly following. I watched on from the ground in bemusement as the bears bounded past me into the alley to join the fun.
I whipped my head around. The werewolves and the bears and the vampires clashed like rival sports fans. Rival paranormal factions going toe-to-toe. Claws and talons tore the place to shreds. Growls and gnaws filled the air. Giant, gleaming fangs punctured furry flesh. It was like a scene from The Warriors. In the middle of it all, Skarr stood tall, swinging his axe at anything and everything, his one eye burning with bloodlust. He took a moment to expand his bloodstained chest and release a roar into the night sky before he got back to work, chopping shit up.
I grinned to myself. I’d been down and out, but now I had my own team. Now it was time to finish this. I snatched up Excalibur and Bam Bam and dived in. I focused my attention on the vamps, realizing they were the ones I could take out the easiest.
I thrusted Excalibur through the heart of an already shredded vamp, light magic pulsing through it, culminating in a rapturous explosion of light that burned into the night. I went straight for another, managing to get Excalibur’s tip embedded in its open mouth. Excalibur ripped out the back of its head. The vamp tremored and shuddered under the light magic, its claws gripped on Excalibur’s blade as it attempted to free itself. Within seconds, its claws conflagrated from touching the divine blade. The thing’s head swiftly followed as a ball of flames burst from its mouth, turning it into a walking torch. I pulled out Excalibur and watched in satisfaction as the vamp staggered around like a zombie while its head blistered and blackened.
My chest heaved, adrenaline thundering through me. All around me, bears were wrestling with werewolves, vampires were clawing at bears, werewolves were clashing with vampires while Skarr swung his axe. Chinese, Russian, and Spanish swear words growled and hissed all around me like a shifter Tourette’s convention. I threw in ‘asshole’ and the odd ‘son-of-a-bitch’ for good measure, just to keep things even. I dived in, swinging Excalibur and firing Bam Bam.
I stabbed another vampire before a werewolf took a swing at me. I threw up Excalibur to block the attack. The blade cut clean through his wrist. The severed claw arced through the air, hitting Skarr right in his eyeball. Skarr roared in anger and slammed his axe down on a nearby vamp, splitting it clean in half. The clawless werewolf was pounced on by a bear, who landed on top of him before clawing away at his face and chest. Behind them, a grappling vamp and werewolf pirouetted toward me. I waited for the right moment and jabbed Excalibur into the back of the vamp, aiming for its heart. The thing detonated into a shimmering haze of light that even I had to squint against. Flames burst out all over its body and it fell away to burn. Now faced with the werewolf, I pushed Bam Bam’s muzzle right into his snout and fired. He had time to go “uh?” before the slug blew up, mangling its ugly mug.
I stared about me with hot eyes. We were winning the battle against the vamps. They were thinning in number, a load of them dead on the ground, their corpses burning. One of them let out a savage screech that seemed to alert the rest. The one who made the noise scampered away to the far end of the alley. Any surviving vamps swiftly followed. They were fleeing. They knew when they were beaten. I went to give chase, when a werewolf got up in my face. One that I recognized. Lobo. His face was crisscrossed with bleeding scratches. His upper chest had a vivid gash running across it. He’d been through the wars, but was still determined to finish the job on me. He spread his arms out wide and threw them back in, those deadly talons arcing my way. I was about to be kebabed when a big, black bear bundled into view, his mouth open wide in a wild roar. Olev. He whammed into Lobo, neutering his attack on me. The two mighty foes went into a grapple for supremacy like Godzilla and Megatron. The Godzilla, not my pet monitor lizard. Although he could probably hold his own with his tai chi. That was a dream, Stone. Man, I was going delirious!
The two mobster bosses growled and howled and clawed and danced like two drunk, lumbering uncles at a wedding. Whatever got in their way was routinely sent staggering. I watched them wrestle one another like heavyweight champs, massive egos refusing to let the other win. They came bounding over, snarling and tussling, both trying to bite the face off the other. They twirled across the concrete, bumping into other brawling bodies, until they smashed into the alley wall, the impact breaking them apart. Olev growled and swung a massive paw. It hit Lobo right in the snout, snapping his head back. Olev followed up with a swift left and then a right, using Lobo’s face for punching practice. More cuts and gashes ripped Lobo’s face open and his blood was soon splattering the walls and ground. Olev didn’t let up. He’d found the zone and was thriving in it. He whacked Lobo in the belly causing him to double over. Olev took the opportunity to send an uppercut into Lobo’s jaw. Lobo left the ground. His back smashed into the concrete, making the whole place shake.
“Go, Olev!” I shouted.
Olev growled and went to finish Lobo off, when a couple of werewolves pounced in defense of their boss. My eyes widened in alarm. They sandwiched Olev, killing his attack. They sank their claws into his shoulders and back, one clinging to each of his arms. Olev let out a roar of pain and straightened his back. He managed to shrug one off before taking hold of the other one by its face and ramming it into the wall. Wolfish howls of anguish rocketed through the alley.
Other werewolves went to the aid of their boss, picking him up from the ground. Lobo got to his feet and growled something in Spanish. The werewolves all huddled into a pack. They wheeled away and raced to the end of the alley, one of them helping Lobo along. Even though he was injured, he could still move fast.
The bears went to give chase, but Olev snarled at them and they stayed put. Olev threw the werewolf gripped in his paws down the alley. It righted itself and scampered away to join the pack as they escaped.
“Yeah, scram, you losers!” I yelled after them, my chest heaving. They fled the alley and everything went calm. That was another close one. As I caught my breath, I replaced Excalibur and Bam Bam and stared around me. The floor was splattered with a mix of red and black blood, the odd limb, and vamp ashes. A couple of bears were down, hurt while Skarr stood there, axe in hand, his body painted with blood. He glared at me with his one eye, his jaw agape as if to say, “Where’d all the fun go?”
I shook my head. “Fun’s over, buddy!” I drew out the jack of spades, held it up to him and conducted the binding spell. Before he had a chance to react, a portal to the Void opened up and sucked him in.
Olev and his guys started to shift back into human form. They were naked as the day they were born, claw marks now adorning their tattooed skin. The adrenaline was fast leaving my veins and exhaustion threatened to overcome me. My head spu
n and I staggered.
Olev darted over to me. “You okay, Stone?”
I gave him a shaky nod. My eyes fell on Zane and Aurora, both of them lying sprawled on the ground. My heart panged in agony. “We better make sure they are!”
Chapter 19
Olev and I raced over to Aurora and Zane. I picked up Aurora by the shoulders and rolled her onto her back. Her chest rose and fell steadily, which was a good sign. I gave her a little shake. “Wake up, kiddo! Wake up!”
Her bleary eyes popped open. “What happened?” she asked in a woozy voice.
Relief swept over me. “Ah, we had a little incident. It’s over now.”
Olev rolled Zane onto his back and I winced. Deep gashes raked across his chest. What was left of his turtleneck had soaked up most of the blood, but he’d need seeing to. His eyelids were half open and he was wheezing breaths in through his nose.
“We’ve got to get him to a doctor,” said Olev and immediately picked him up off the floor and hoisted him over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift. Aurora turned to face Olev as he rose from the ground and she got an eyeful of Olev in his birthday suit. Her eyes popped wide open.
