‘Oh, please,’ she exploded. ‘Don’t pretend you’re concerned about my appearance now.’
‘But I am concerned about you,’ Tiago insisted, in a much more collected tone.
He had realised she was serious about leaving him, Danny guessed as she gazed down at her flimsy outfit. It was so inappropriate for what was happening, and it upset her to think that it had been so carefully chosen for her by a young girl who had wanted nothing but the best for Tiago’s bride.
‘Do I need to be more suitably dressed when you explain your way out of this?’ she suggested bitterly.
‘For God’s sake, Danny— If you’d just listen to me.’
‘I have been listening to you. I’ve heard everything you’ve said. It’s what you haven’t said that’s upset me. You’ve upset Lizzie—and on her honeymoon too. I shouldn’t have had to read those things, Tiago. I believed you. I trusted you.’
Moving past him, she snatched his riding jacket down from the hook on the back of the door and pulled it on. It drowned her, but the jacket served its purpose in that it covered her completely.
‘You’ve always been my number one concern, Danny.’
‘Save it,’ she said coldly. ‘I suppose it was only a matter of you choosing the right time to explain?’
‘As a matter of fact, it was,’ he agreed. ‘Husbands and wives talk. I did say those things to Chico, but that was when I was still formulating a plan. Of course I was going to tell you. I knew there was a risk Lizzie might say something, and I knew it was up to me to reassure you that my grandfather’s demands were, and are, completely unacceptable.’
‘And when would you have done that, Tiago? In the delivery ward? Or one year from today when our contract was at an end?’ She shook her head in despair. ‘What type of woman do you think I am?’
‘It’s precisely because of the type of woman you are that I married you. Yes, this started out as a business deal, but you mean so much more to me than that.’
‘Lucky me,’ she scoffed. ‘And now I suppose you love me?’ She raised a brow. ‘Is that what you’re saying?’
‘Yes, I do,’ Tiago admitted quietly.
‘How convenient. Let me tell you something, Tiago. There can be no love without trust. And you’ve destroyed my trust completely. I don’t think you have a clue what love is. I think you’ve shut yourself off from feelings for so long you’ll never understand.’
‘I didn’t want to hurt you.’
‘So you were going to sit me down like a little girl to explain? How patronising. And I thought we entered this marriage as equals.’
‘We are equals.’
‘But some are more equal than others, it seems to me,’ she said coldly. ‘I was a convenient bride. I get that. But don’t think any child of mine is going to be a convenient baby.’
‘I’ve never thought that and I never will.’ He blocked her way out of the kitchen. ‘There is no small print in our contract that you don’t know about. There was talk in my grandfather’s will of a child, but that was all part of his delusion and cannot be upheld in law.’
‘How disappointing for you.’
‘Don’t,’ he said. ‘Please don’t be bitter and angry. You never used to be like this—’
‘You mean I used to be a mug?’
‘No!’ Tiago exclaimed.
‘Just unlucky, then?’ she said. ‘Maybe I could have swallowed this too, if you hadn’t stirred my maternal instincts—but you have. I fell in love with you, Tiago. That was my mistake. I thought this was going to be the best night of my life—not the worst. And, worst of all, I thought I could change you.’
‘You have changed me.’
‘Have I, Tiago?’ Drawing in a shaking breath, she lifted her head to look at him. ‘Why can’t polo players ever be straight with a woman? Are you all too busy and important to consider the feelings of your fellow human beings? Do we exist only for your convenience?’
‘If you’re referring to Pintos, I’ll take that—because I should have been straight with you from the start. But I was trying to protect you, Danny, and I got it wrong. I would have done anything to protect you. Nothing you’ve read on that screen suggests that I agree with my grandfather. It’s old talk. And he can’t enforce his demands from the grave. Nor would I allow him to if he were alive today. And in spite of what you must think of him he wasn’t a bad man. He’d just fought so hard for what he had, and he’d lost it once. He couldn’t bear to lose it again.’
With an exhausted gesture, he shook his head.
‘All I can say is that I wish those emails had never been sent, because then I could reassure you. But, whatever you think of me now, I will always protect you. Maybe I went too far this time, but that’s only because I love you.’
‘You love me? You don’t even know the meaning of the word.’
‘Stop it, Danny—this is your insecurity. You’re not so different from me. We can work this out.’
‘Can we? Why drag it out for a year, Tiago? You have the ranch. My job is done. Why keep up the pretence any longer?’
‘Because I love you. Because I’m happier than I’ve ever been.’
‘I don’t know what to think any more,’ Danny admitted. ‘I feel as if every time I put down foundations something comes along to shake them loose.’
‘Not this time—I promise you,’ Tiago insisted fiercely. ‘That’s your past talking. Just because your mother’s never been there for you. That’s not me—that’s not now.’
Drawing his jacket tightly around her shoulders, she shook her head. ‘I can’t give you the answer you want. I’m sorry, Tiago. Maybe it is my past getting in the way, but I need time to think this through.’
‘Danny—’
‘Please...’ She backed away. ‘I need space to think, and I can’t think when I’m close to you.’
* * *
He slept the rest of the night in the guest bedroom, while Danny slept in his room. He couldn’t say he blamed her for doubting him. A lifetime of blanking out his feelings hadn’t helped him to handle the situation better. He could have dealt with Danny angry and hot-tempered more easily, but when she’d turned cold, had spoken to him so bleakly, he had known she was right. The past had a lot to answer for, and she did need time.
But he wasn’t ready to give up. Swinging out of bed, he showered and dressed, and then knocked on her door.
‘Come on. Get up—we’re going riding.’
He wasn’t even sure she’d heard him, let alone that she would join him. But she did. He should have known Danny was a survivor, and that she would be every bit as tough this morning as she had been last night, when she had told him what he could do with his gifts and his money.
They saddled up in silence and rode out together. They didn’t speak until they reached the river, where he dismounted.
Danny joined him. ‘So?’ she said.
‘So,’ he echoed, staring out across the river. ‘When are you leaving?’
‘Soon.’
He ground his jaw, but acknowledged this. ‘This is not how I expected to spend the first day of my married life—but then I didn’t expect to get married at all,’ he admitted. ‘My parents put me off marriage when I was a child, with their shouting and squabbling over what was left of my grandfather’s money.’
‘You were put off marriage until you were forced to marry. Isn’t that it, Tiago?’
‘Yes,’ he admitted bluntly.
‘Were you hunting for a bride at Lizzie’s wedding, when I practically ran into you?’
‘You were so angry and shocked—I seem to remember you almost knocked me over. You would probably have liked to, anyway. As for hunting for a bride... Yes, I did scan the pool for likely candidates, and you were close to the top of my list.’
‘Only close
?’ Danny said dryly, staring out across the river.
‘I judged you too vulnerable to be drawn into my plan.’
‘And now, Tiago?’ She swung around to face him, but there was no warmth in her eyes.
‘I was wrong about you,’ he admitted. ‘I should have known you were strong enough to take up any challenge.’
‘And more than willing,’ she remembered, smiling faintly.
He made no comment.
‘And then I made the mistake of falling in love with you. We got close so fast that even our crazy wedding made sense.’
‘It wasn’t so fast,’ he argued, frowning. ‘We were close in Brazil.’
‘Friends,’ she conceded. ‘You liked teasing me.’
‘Yes, I did. And, as I remember it, you liked it too.’
She shrugged, slanting him a smile, but refused to comment.
‘My grandfather was delusional, Danny. Don’t you think after the childhood I experienced I would want to do something better for my children? I certainly wouldn’t risk any child of mine growing up thinking I’d bought it. And you...’ He paused and looked at her steadily. ‘You’re a very special woman, and someone I’m proud to call my wife.’
‘If you could pull out of our deal, though, would you?’
He frowned. ‘This is no longer a deal, Danny.’
‘But it still feels like one to me.’
‘So what can I do to change that?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said honestly. ‘I’ve never wanted anything from you in the material sense, but it was part of the deal. Maybe I can’t live with that. Maybe my problem is with me and my judgement, not you. My only thought was to secure my mother’s future and buy my own establishment. I couldn’t see further than that. I didn’t once think about the true cost...’
‘You wanted to spread your wings,’ he argued hotly. ‘There’s nothing wrong with that, and you still can. You want to taste adventure? It’s right here.’
He had thought he was getting through to her, but instead of moving towards him she moved back towards her horse and mounted up.
‘I need more,’ she said softly. ‘I need to prove myself before I have anything to offer you.’
He opened his arms in a gesture of surrender. ‘You’re so wrong. You don’t have to prove anything to me. But, please, keep the money. You’re going to need it if you go. Take it for your mother—make her secure. Give yourself a future, Danny.’
‘I wanted you,’ she said. ‘I wanted your love. I wanted a life together.’
‘And you can have it.’
‘But how can I be sure that there won’t be another time when you hide something from me in the mistaken belief that you’re protecting me?’
‘You can’t,’ he said bluntly, resting his hand on the neck of her horse. ‘I won’t commit to a promise I’m not certain I can keep. If you need protecting I’m going to do that, whatever you have to say about it.’
He tensed as she turned her horse for home.
‘So you’re just going to give up? You’re not even going to fight for us?’
‘For us?’ she said, gathering up her reins. ‘There is no “us”, Tiago. There never has been. And, as you say, I have a life to lead and so do you.’
‘But I love you.’
* * *
Tiago loved her. But her own feelings were in turmoil. She owed it to both of them to sort herself out... Would this ever work out?
‘At least think it through,’ Tiago insisted. ‘You don’t have to go right away. You’ve been just as cut off from emotion as I have, but if the last half-hour is anything to go by we’ve unlocked something in each other. Don’t throw that away, Danny.’
She’d hurt him and she didn’t know how to make it right, Danny thought as Tiago brought his horse alongside hers. She blamed herself. She should never have agreed to such a cold-blooded agreement. It had never been going to turn out well. She should have been content to stay where she was, with her heart in one piece.
‘Where will you go? What will you do?’ he said.
‘I’ll go back to Scotland and get a job.’
‘Your qualifications are excellent,’ Tiago agreed, as if he thought it was a good idea—or was that her insecurity talking again? ‘With your experience it shouldn’t be hard to find work. But don’t settle for just anything.’
‘Stop worrying about me, Tiago. My decisions aren’t all flawed. I’ll rebuild my life and move forward.’
‘I have no doubt you will, but I can’t see how going back to Rottingdean is moving forward.’
‘Maybe you’re right. But I’m never going backwards again.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
HE RODE OUT with his collar turned up against the persistent drizzle, his jaw tightly clenched at the prospect of returning to an empty house.
Why hadn’t he filed a flight plan? Any day without Danny was a damp, drizzly day, and she had been gone for over a month. In all that time no one had asked him about his missing bride. No one had dared to question him.
He had dealt with the yawning gap in his life by working longer hours and playing more polo. He had made improvements to the ranch and that had made him even angrier, wondering if Danny would like what he’d done. What did anything matter now?
She would always matter.
His security team had reported that, preferring to stand on her own feet rather than return to her old job at Rottingdean, Danny was now working as a Jack of all trades at a local stable close by the house in Scotland where she had worked for Lizzie’s family. He respected Danny’s wish to find herself, to be her own person, but respect didn’t mean he was giving up on their relationship.
Yes. Relationship. They might have been married for only five minutes, but the bond between them was stronger than any piece of paper they had signed to silence his grandfather’s lawyers.
Reining in, he turned for home. If he cared so much about Danny why was he still here?
* * *
He piloted the jet, but even he couldn’t make it fly faster. He swore viciously at the thought of the time he’d wasted. But they were both stubborn, and Danny was still locked in the past. He appreciated that she needed time, but when had he ever hesitated before when he’d cared about something as much as this? He should have told her every detail from the start. Then she would not only have known the facts, she would also have known how he intended to deal with them. Instead he had tried to protect her, when what Danny needed was love and respect—not coddling.
He touched down in Scotland and leapt into the four-wheel drive he’d hired. He didn’t wait. He didn’t rest. He didn’t sleep. Anticipation at the thought of seeing Danny was all it took to keep him wide awake.
He drove straight from the airport to the farm where she was working. He might have guessed it would be in a remote glen. Was she going to hide away here for the rest of her life?
His heart gripped tight when he spotted her. He hadn’t expected it to be so easy, but she was working with a young colt in an outdoor arena. He climbed out of the vehicle and stood watching. He smiled, noticing how much she had learned from his training methods. He felt good about that, though standing back like this was an acute type of torture. And it was no more than he deserved.
The rampaging polo player the press talked about—the man who collected women like fine wine, drank deep and moved on—was in love. He’d only had to see Danny again to know how deeply he loved her. His life was meaningless without her. He’d missed her every waking hour, and had lain awake each night thinking about her.
There’d been gossip since they’d parted. He couldn’t expect the press to ignore the facts. ‘Marriage is not for Tiago Santos!’ one of the reporters for a red-top had crowed, no doubt rejoicing in his misery. Danny must have read that article. And, yes,
their marriage was unusual, but Danny wasn’t just any bride—she was his bride. She was the only bride he could ever want. The only woman he would ever want.
He tensed as she stilled, and wondered if she’d sensed him. Whatever Danny liked to think, they were keenly tuned to each other. Did she know he’d come to find her?
She turned slowly and stared straight at him. The wealth of feeling inside him as their stares held was indescribable. He stood motionless, absorbing every detail of her as she turned back to the pony and, saying something, stroked its ears. Leaving the arena, she closed the gate and walked towards him. With every step she took he grew more certain that they belonged together, and that he would do anything it took to make this right.
He slanted her a smile as she walked up to him. ‘How are you?’
‘Good.’
She was pale, he thought as she studied his face intently.
‘How are you, Tiago?’
‘I’m fine.’
She didn’t sound fine, and instead of taking the single step that would bring her into his arms she remained a few paces back, staring at him as if she couldn’t believe her eyes.
‘What brings you to the Highlands?’
Her voice, with its soft Scottish burr, rolled over him like a familiar pleasure—one he’d missed more than he could say. He had never felt so alert or more aware of Danny, more alive.
‘I’m visiting old friends.’
‘Chico and Lizzie?’ She frowned. ‘I didn’t realise there were any upcoming polo matches.’
‘Do I need an excuse?’
‘So you’ve come here to train with Chico?’ she guessed, searching his face.
‘I’m here to see you, Danny.’
She collected her breath quickly and exhaled raggedly. Her breath clouded in front of her face as they faced each other.
‘I’ve stayed away for as long as I’m prepared to.’
‘I thought we agreed—?’
‘I didn’t agree to anything,’ he cut in. ‘You left me. Remember? You wanted time to get your head together. I’ve given you time.’
At the Brazilian's Command Page 12
