by Tara Brown
We slowly make our way to the houses and filter off into our different directions. Will wraps his arms around me and whispers, "Did you kill him?"
I nod. "I did."
His burning body next to mine scares me. I look at Nick. "Once, Michael told me that my blood could cure things."
His eyes sparkle for a second. "We need a needle to inject it."
I nod. "I know a place to get one." I give Mitch a smile. "Wanna go for a horse ride?"
He shakes his head. "No, my ass is killing me."
I scoff. "Well, we could walk."
He rolls his eyes. "I do not like you very much right now. I just need to put that out there."
"I don’t care. Are you coming or not?"
He sighs. " Yeah."
I look up at Will. "Hang on for two days, okay?"
He shakes his head. "I'm fine, I swear. Me and Nick have been working on the lung thing. He doesn’t even think it's contagious."
I give Nick a slight glance. His face tells me a different story.
I hug Anna once more. "I'm so sorry."
She shakes her head. "I should have known. The infection wrecked everything."
I kiss her cheek. "No, the important stuff is still there." I whisper into her ear, "If I don’t come back, you make Nick keep him alive, okay?"
She nods.
I glance at Star. "I'm heading for needles."
She winks. "I know the best place." Jake gives us a look. "I'm coming too."
I glance at Will, who is talking to one of the cook pit ladies. "I need you to stay here and make him listen."
Jake shakes his head. "Anna can do that. Besides, I'll go nuts wondering what trouble you are all in without me."
Star rubs her butt. "How long before we leave?"
I shrug. "An hour."
She winces. "That’s going to be horrid."
Mitch runs his hand over his butt too. "Mine doesn’t hurt so bad. If you need a massage, Star, I'm sure I could help you out."
Star cocks an eyebrow at him. "That's okay."
I walk to Will and take his hand in mine. "Come on."
He shakes his head. "I have a couple things to do in the barn. If the other smithy is gone, we need to fix this one up."
I smile. "Just come with me."
He gets a gleam on his fevered face. I pull him to Anna's room. "We need to clean this up. We can't make her do it."
He stops at the door and sighs. "Is it wrong that I'm glad that she's not going to have a baby?"
I shake my head and start to gather the sheets. We clean everything and flip the mattress after we scrub it with the homemade soap.
The smell of blood and sadness washes away and leaves a lye smell. Will drags all the bedding to the group doing the laundry in the river's edge. I don’t know how we'll do it in the winter, not with this many people. The well is amazing on this farm, but the population has grown a lot.
Mitch comes down the hall. "You ready? It's going to get dark soon."
I nod. "Yeah."
Anna comes down the hall, looking sleepy. Nick is beside her with a swollen face. His look tells me he wants to talk to me alone. I hug Anna and lead her into my room. "Sleep in here for a bit. You need to sleep to get better again."
She sighs. "I know. I'm just tired of being tired."
I hug her. "You'll feel better soon."
She squeezes me back. "I just wanted something of him."
I kiss her cheek and whisper, "You have his heart, Anna."
She starts to cry again, nodding. "I know." I give Nick a look. He stays in the hall as I take her into the room and tuck her into my bed. I kiss her forehead. Leo growls in the hallway and saunters in, jumping on the bed. He curls into a ball.
I rub his huge ears. "You stay with her, okay?"
He yawns and nestles into her better.
She closes her eyes, making tears stream down her cheeks. I leave, closing the door and leaning against it. Nick looks down. "I'm sorry, Em. I tried so hard, but there was no way."
I shook my head. "You said the cervix was closed."
He nods and closes his puffy eyes. "I'm scared it was me; putting my hand up there and touching it might have made it worse. Sometimes examining a woman who is about to lose a baby seals the deal."
I put a hand out on his arm. "Just keep her and Will alive. I don’t give a shit about babies."
He snorts and looks at me. I swear his blue eyes have a hint of green in them and look similar to mine. He nods at me. "You really are cold sometimes. I see that hate fill you, like the breeder babies."
My gaze narrows. "Why don’t you have that?"
He shakes his head. "I don’t know. Some do and some don’t."
I look down the hall. "I don’t think Star has it naturally. I've seen it develop in her. She used to be different."
He nods. "It might be something that triggers in us, when we need it."
"Well then, I hope you never get it."
He laughs bitterly. "Me too." His look darkens. "How did you do it?"
"Arrow to the eye and then blew the house up."
He laughs. "Wow, so the whole place is gone?"
I nod. "It is. The breeder babies that were with him are gone too, mostly."
His stare meets mine again. "I will keep them safe and earn your trust. I swear it. I just want to be part of something good for a change."
"We'll see. But make no mistake…"
He cuts me off, "I know. You'll kill me and gut me like a fish, and burn me, and drag me behind a horse in the field. I've seen it, Emma—you’re badass."
I laugh and slap his arm. "I've never had a real brother before. This might be fun, as long as you don’t make me kill you." I walk past him to the yard and pray that he is the good person I'm betting he isn’t.
Chapter Sixteen
I look back at them and wink. I like the winking thing. It makes me feel like I know something I definitely don’t.
I walk from the woods, past the broken branches I did last time, and cross the broken highway where the bloodstains are still splattered on the cracked road.
I don’t like being without my weapons, but I don’t imagine the rules of the towns have changed much. What has changed is the blue-eyed guy next to me this time.
Jake looks nervous and smiles. "So we just walk in? They won't shoot us?"
I look up at him and smirk. "That’s how it works usually. They want the trade so they don’t normally kill the customers."
He doesn’t look like it eases him at all.
We cross the road and I hear it; it still makes my stomach turn to stone.
The screams of the men who rip and tear fill the air. I see them running for us, hoping to rob us of whatever we have and rape me, of course.
Jake turns to run but I grab his hand. As the first ones get close, I see the bullets hit.
They drop mid-run.
I put my hands into the air so the guards see that it isn’t me. Jake copies me, looking anxious and ready to run. The last couple thieves stop when they see the ten dead men on the pavement.
I glance at Jake. "This is easier with Mitch."
He swallows. "Was it like this last time?"
I nod. My eyes sparkle. "It was worse."
I can see him understand what I did for him as he shakes his head but has nothing to say.
We cross into the gates. The guard flashes me a grin. "Smart girl."
I give him a grin. "That wasn’t me. Maybe it was God."
He snorts. "Welcome to the trading post."
Merchants don’t rush at me like last time. They watch me from the lean-tos and shanties. I walk to the one where the old lady was. She sees me and scowls. I smile. "Surprised to see me alive?"
She mutters, "And yet, you came back." She sees Jake behind me and instantly her face splits into a grin. "But this time you brought me something I would be willing to trade for."
I look back at Jake. He gives me a clueless look. I smirk. "Yeah, he's not for sale."
She shrugs. "Too bad. We would pay by the pound for something that beautiful and that size."
Jake frowns. "What?"
I laugh. "I need needles and if you have any of the antibiotics left, I need that too."
A slow smile creeps along her old face. "Well, someone went and destroyed all the farms and labs so the antibiotics are all gone."
My hand lashes out fast, grabbing her throat and lifting her to her toes. "I have things to trade."
She gags and sputters but breaks out into a laugh. I toss her back into the stacks of trash bags. "I know where your son is."
Her eyes widen. "LIAR!"
I shake my head. "I know where he is."
She scrambles up. "How—how do you know where he is?"
I remain stoic.
"I can get you needles but the antibiotics are gone. Everything is gone. The power hasn’t been on here in a while, but I can get you the needles. Where is he?"
She grabs for me, but I shove her back. "He's dead. I killed them all. You want to know who ended the power and the farms? It was me. I murdered every doctor I saw."
She screams and leaps for me, but I drop her skinny body to the ground and hold her there. "I did it especially for you. You and the other people of this shit hole, who traded the girls to the farms and camps." I get off of her. She is trembling and twitching, but still manages to pull a knife from under her dress. She leaps at me but Jake grabs her arm and bends it to stab the knife into her chest. He freezes and steps back.
She gags and opens her mouth to scream but she can't; he must have stabbed into her lung. Blood fills her mouth and she drops to the ground.
He's about to freak out. I point his face at mine. "Thank you."
He stops, realizing he saved me. His eyes dart back to the dying woman. I shake my head. "Trust me, she earned this fate."
He swallows and nods. "Okay." He doesn’t believe me, but he never sat in the woods, terrified and listening to the screaming girls begging for death over the farms and being loaded into the trucks. I did.
Her body stops making sounds. I step over her and start to rifle through her cabinets. I open a drawer and a moth flies out. I wave it away and see the needles with plastic wrap on them still.
I sigh. "Found them."
Jake points at the now-dead woman. "What about her? They're going to know we killed her. The guards will kill us."
I smirk at him. "I know another way out. Come on." I drag her body to the back of the so-called store and bury her in the bags of garbage.
I stuff the needles in my sack and walk out into the street. The noise of the town is louder than before. People are bustling about and the merchants are shouting about their goods. I walk to the inn, keeping my head down.
The lady with the nice teeth smiles up from behind the bar, but doesn’t really look at me. "No purchase, no room."
"I came to tell you that my virtue is no longer at risk."
Her eyes lift and her face breaks into a huge grin. "You're still alive."
I smile back. "Not for long. I just killed that old lady who betrayed me last time."
She winces. "Oh, that was a bad move. You came here right afterwards?" I nod. She shakes her head. "Thanks, kid." She gives Jake a sly smile. "Now tell me that was the person you were buying antibiotics for."
I nod. "It was."
Her eyes roam his whole body slowly. "That was worth it then."
I glance back at Jake and smile. His face is bright red, but his eyes are still processing the fact that he murdered a woman. I know some of the spark that makes him shiny and fun is going to die out. For him, killing her was like rubbing the magic dust off of a butterfly; he won't ever fly as high as before.
"We need the tunnel, just in case."
She winks. "What have you got for me?"
I smile. "Freedom."
Her gaze narrows. "What?"
I nod. "I killed Michael and burned the city to the ground, and we have created a small village, where people are free and equal. I am offering you a place to live there."
Her eyes shine. She looks like she might turn me down, but she ducks behind the counter and comes up with a sack. She hurries around the counter. "I knew saving you would be a good idea."
She points to the stairs. "Hurry up."
I run up the stairs and enter the bedroom I slept in last time. She follows and closes the door. Jake looks lost, but as she opens the closet, his jaw drops.
I nudge him. "Her husband was a government man."
He nods. "Wow."
She puts a hand out. "I'm Stella, by the way."
I laugh. "Emma, and this is Jake."
She licks her red lips. "Well Jake, you are a tall drink of water, aren’t you?"
His cheeks are burning. "Yeah, I get that a lot."
She nods. "I bet you do." I lead the way down the stairs into the tunnel and she closes everything up. I run, dragging my hand along the wall until I see the circle of light again. I climb the small ladder and push the hatch slowly. Nothing moves as I open it fully, and climb out into the fading light of the sun.
Jake comes out next and reaches down into the hole to help Stella. She smiles and looks different in the real light of the outside world.
I run towards where I know Mitch is sitting.
Star steps out from behind the tree where I stashed my weapons last time. "What is this?"
I nod. "Stella. She's one we want on our side." I point. "Stella, this is Star, my sister." Mitch jumps out of the tree, making Stella smile again. She puts a hand out to him. "Stella."
Mitch grins. "Mitch."
She gives me a smirk. "You run with the most handsome men, Emma."
I laugh and Mitch's cheeks turn scarlet. I point at the trail. "We've got a long ride home."
She rides with me, gasping as we enter the dusty field. "This is your village?"
I nod. She beams. "It's perfect."
I smile back at her. "It is."
Nick meets us in the driveway. His eyes tell me to get off my horse fast. I jump down, pulling the sack of needles from the saddlebag.
"Is he okay?"
He shakes his head. "No. We need to hurry. Did you find antibiotics?"
I shake my head. "Just needles. The power going out and the farms being shut down ended the antibiotics."
His eyes narrow. He grabs the sack and runs inside the house. I follow him, ignoring everything else in the world.
Will is lying on the bed with Leo. His skin is flushed and sweaty, like Jake's was. I know Jake is behind me. I can feel the heat of his massive body there. I lean back into him as Nick gets the syringe out and sticks it into his own arm. He pulls the blood back into the needle until it fills. He pulls it out and presses a piece of cloth against it. He pulls down the sheet on Will's body and pushes the needle into the scar tissue on Will's chest and injects the blood.
"Give me your arm."
I put it out, and he does the same to me and injects it too. Nick does my other arm and then his. When he finishes putting the fourth needle of our blood into Will, he sits and stares.
"Will it work?" I ask.
He shakes his head. "I don’t know. I know in theory it should, but I don’t know. Michael was a nut. He had it work on minor infections, like slivers. Our blood type is the kind we can give to anyone." He looks down and back at me. "Unless he's a negative, then he's screwed. We're O positive."
Jake shakes his head. "Me and Will and Anna are all A positive. Dad told us that before he died. Same as our mom."
Nick nods. "Then this is the best chance he has." He doesn’t sound convinced. He sounds scared and defeated. I back up to the wall and slide down it. Jake sits next to me. We sit there, staring at Will and waiting for it to work.
Eventually, they all leave and I sit alone. Even Leo doesn’t want to watch it happen.
I climb up onto the bed and curl around him.
The heat from his body is intense and not lessening. I drip water into his mouth. H
e coughs and opens one eye. His lips crack when he tries to smile.
I don’t smile back. I can't. I can see it. The blood isn’t working. Michael was a crazy bastard, and believing him was foolish.
"Em, stop looking so hateful. You want that to be the last thing I see?"
I lean into his chest. "Don’t leave me. Please. I need you." I close my eyes and sob silently. I don’t want my tears to be the last thing he sees either. I don’t want there to be a last anything.
His hand weakly strokes my head. It isn’t the same hand, or the same man, or the same love. It's all more. I know how far I can go into despair and darkness, and his death is one of the things that might push me there. I don't want to go back to being the person I was. I like the me that belongs with these people.
As if reading my mind he whispers, "Stop it. I made it back to you once, Em. I'll always be here. Not even death can keep me away."
I cry harder. I want to beg him not to leave me, but I can't speak. Nothing is working but my tears.
I hug him to me and pray to God that he leaves him here for me to love.
He grips my hand to him. "Look at me."
I lift my tear-stained face and shake my head.
He attempts a weak smile, but it gets lost in the pain and the fear I can see in his eyes. "Promise me, no matter what, you will stay with them and make an effort to not be crazy."
I snort and wipe my face. After a minute, I nod. "I won’t ever leave them."
I see tears forming in his eyes as he struggles for the raspy words. "Keep Anna safe, and Jake."
"I swear I will."
He nods. "I know you will. My family is your family." He closes his eyes but mutters, "I love you, Emma."
My heart breaks because I can hear the goodbye in his voice. I close my eyes too and rest my head on his chest. I don’t know how long I lie there, before I realize his chest doesn’t rise and fall anymore. The coarse sound of his breathing is gone.
I cry harder than I thought I could, gripping him in case he comes back again.
A week later, I can't stop staring at the huge rock pile next to the tiny one. Leo nudges me, he wants to go, but I can't. If I move away, Will's gone forever, again.
The snowflakes fall around me, trying to hide the rock pile from me.
