by J. H. Croix
Evan shrugged. “Some do, but the hungover ones are worse than the drunk ones. A lot of people want the consequences of their intoxication wiped clean before they can get any rest.”
I shook my head grimly. “I’m not a big drinker, but I guess I can understand. No one ever wants to deal with the morning after, do they?”
“Not in my experience,” he replied, handing over one of the menus the waitress dropped off. “We have something in common. I’m not a big drinker either.”
It looked like he wanted to say something else but then decided against it. As curious as I was, I didn’t ask. It was only our first date after all. Getting to know each other didn’t mean we had to go into anything too deep, especially at that time of the morning.
Obviously thinking the same thing I was, he changed the topic. “Emery seems great. How old is she?”
“She’s six this year.” I couldn’t help the smile forming on my lips when I thought about her. “I know every mom probably thinks the same, but she’s the best.”
“You’re proud of her, huh?”
I nodded. “I’m always proud of her. She’s the light of my life.”
“My brother’s fiancée has a son about her age, Austin. I don’t spend as much time with him as I want to, but it fascinates me to see the way he looks at the world whenever I do get to spend time with him. You’re lucky to have Emery. Kids seem to put things in perspective.”
Surprised by his genuine understanding, I could only nod. On the very few dates I’d been on since Emery’s birth, Evan was the first man to not only ask about Emery but to relate to me about her on the only level he could. Usually, single guys wanted to run for the hills when they heard there was a child involved.
Before I started looking like an idiot, I knew I had to say something. “So, uh, you mentioned your brother’s fiancée. When is he getting married?”
Evan sighed, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “They’re in wedding planning mode. I think if it were up to Jeremy, he would’ve dragged Marie off to the chapel the day they got engaged. She insists on ‘doing it right.’ Says it’s the only wedding they’re ever going to have, and she wants to start their marriage off the right way.”
Soon after I found out I was pregnant with Emery, I’d accepted a wedding and marriage wasn’t going to be a part of my future. When I still used to think about it, I’d always imagined a beautiful wedding filled with love and the promise of happy-ever-after.
Some might’ve called me a romantic in a world filled with cynics, but I didn’t care. There was something magical about promising to love another person for the rest of your life, forsaking all others. Screw anyone who said otherwise. It didn’t have to be a big or expensive wedding, but it had to be done right.
“I agree with her. If you’re only ever going to get one shot at something, you deserve that something to be beautiful and magical and everything your inner child ever dreamed about.”
Evan laughed under his breath, surprising me again for being so comfortable with yet another topic that usually made the single ones run for farthest hills to hide in the deepest valleys. “You would get along great with Marie and Niki. Niki’s my youngest brother’s fiancée.”
Another brother? Then I remembered the Lovetts was a big family, though I couldn’t remember how big. “How many of you are there?”
“Five,” he said with a rueful shrug. Then he narrowed his eyes. “Seven now if you count Niki and Marie. Eight if you count Austin.”
“Austin counts.”
He chuckled. “Of course, then eight.”
“Your holidays must be crazy.” As an only child, I’d always harbored a tiny sliver of jealousy toward big families. You couldn’t miss what you didn’t have, so I didn’t know what I was missing out on, but it always seemed like so much fun.
A shadow passed through Evan’s gaze. From the looks of things, his holiday memories weren’t the warm, fuzzy, picture-perfect memories I imagined them to be. Although I couldn’t blame him for that, knowing about his father.
I would never bring it up to him, but like almost everyone else in town, I knew who his father was. Whatever darkness the mention of holidays brought up, Evan shrugged it off and ordered our food.
“Let’s say our holidays can be interesting and leave it at that,” he finally said. “Do you have any siblings?”
I shook my head. “I have Lori. She’s my best friend and watches Emery for me when I’m working. She’s more like a sister than a friend at this point.”
“I think that may be better. My brothers can drive me crazy at times.” He smiled and then started laughing. “Like one year over the holidays, Sonny and Jeremy got into Tyson’s room. He’s the oldest.”
I leaned in, eager to hear the rest of his story. The waitress brought our food, and we kept talking throughout breakfast.
Time with Evan flew by, and before I knew it, we were back out in the parking lot standing beside my car. I opened the door and held one hand on it when I turned to face him. “Thanks for taking me to breakfast. I had fun.”
He smiled. “Me too.”
Releasing a deep breath, my eyes darted to the ground as I told him what I knew I was going to have to tell him since I agreed to have breakfast with him. “As much as I enjoyed getting to know you, this is where it has to stop.”
Tilting his head, he eyed me for a long moment and then asked, “Why?”
“I can’t have a relationship, and I wouldn’t want to lead you on. You’re a great guy, and you deserve someone who has time for you. I don’t.”
A ghost of a smile touched his lips. “Maybe I can change your mind. I know you have a lot on your plate, and I’m not looking to add to that, but where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?”
“Not in this case,” I told him, a sense of disappointment and regret washing through me
“How about we exchange numbers anyway? Just in case.” He wasn’t being cocky or arrogant about it, nor did it look like he expected me to give him my number. Like with the driving thing, he was really respectful.
“Okay.” I gave in and programmed my number into his phone while he did the same with mine.
When he was done, he gave my phone back and pocketed his. “Okay. Have a good time with Emery today.”
Striding to his truck, he looked so casual and gorgeous and like he didn’t have a care in the world. Even though I knew that not to be true by the look that came into his eyes sometimes, I envied the way he was so comfortable with himself.
When I told him I couldn’t have a relationship, I was being completely honest, but watching him leave, I found myself hoping he would call. The initial draw I felt to him only got stronger the more time I spent with him, that undeniable attraction growing by the day. The intensity of it scared me a little. It was totally out of the ordinary for me, but I liked it. I liked it far more than was sensible.
Chapter Fifteen
Evan
When I woke the following morning, Sadie sashayed into my thoughts immediately. The past couple of days, she was on mind more often than not. I wasn’t surprised when she was one of the first things I thought of when I opened my eyes. Right after “Can it really be morning already?” and before my stomach announced it was hungry.
Padding to my kitchen to grab something to eat, I considered my options. Sadie had made it clear she didn’t think she had room for a relationship. It didn’t sound like she didn’t want to, more like she was so used to thinking she didn’t have time that she didn’t consider it a possibility for her.
Time was a funny thing, though. You couldn’t make more of it, but you could do more with it. I had no doubt that Sadie’s schedule was packed. I remembered watching Jeremy and Marie trying to carve out some time for themselves. I knew it was a hard-won battle, but they proved it wasn’t impossible.
With the shop as busy as it was and four brothers to try to keep up with, I didn’t have a whole lot of time myself. For Sadie, though, I could carve time out.
I didn’t dwell on it because I didn’t care to. I preferred to problem solve the logistics. That was something I could handle.
Back when Jeremy and Marie started dating, Marie had very similar concerns to Sadie’s. And of course, there was a helluva a lot more going on with her ex, but Jeremy hadn’t shied away, not for a second.
While I wasn’t looking for anything as serious as those two had, I knew Jeremy accepting Austin was a big part of why Marie had given him a chance. All I wanted with Sadie was a chance. I wanted to spend more time with her, and her having a child didn’t put me off. I didn’t mind taking both her and Emery out. In fact, I liked kids. I got along great with Austin. Getting to know Emery would be an important part of getting to know Sadie.
Before I could change my mind and spend the day with one of my brothers or Phoenix, I grabbed my phone and searched for her name. As soon as my eyes landed on her name, I hit dial and hoped like hell she could answer.
“Hello, Evan?” Sadie answered, sounding unsure.
“Good morning,” I said. “Did you have a good day yesterday?”
“We did,” she said cautiously. “You?”
“Same,” I told her. “I’ve been thinking about our breakfast, and I was wondering if you wanted to come fishing with me today. I know you’re busy, but I thought it might be fun.”
She hesitated for so long I thought the call had dropped. “I can’t. I have Emery with me, remember?”
“I remember, but I have a fishing rod for her too.” We used to go fishing all the time when we were kids. The smaller rods in our storage all used to belong to us, but my guess was little girls didn’t mind fishing with blue or red rods. “She can even choose a color. We have a couple of rods that should be the right one for her size lying around.”
“You have children’s fishing rods lying around your house?” she asked disbelievingly. “Or are you going to go out and buy her one to pretend you had one?”
I laughed. Another version of me a couple of years younger might’ve done exactly that to try and get into a girl’s pants. I wouldn’t have made the effort to find our old stuff. Since I wasn’t only looking to get into Sadie’s pants, though, I would make the trip to storage.
“I don’t have one lying around the house, but we do have a few in storage. My brothers and I used to fish a lot when we were younger.” I hadn’t been back to the river in the park where we used to fish in years. I knew going there would mean facing down a lot of memories, but Jeremy had taken Austin there a few times, and he said it was the same as ever.
I could use a day outside, and I wanted it to be with Sadie and Emery. In the background to the call, I could hear Sadie telling Emery that I’d asked if they wanted to go fishing. I could also hear Emery very excitedly chanting “Yes! Yes! Yes!” and clapping her hands.
Eventually, Sadie spoke again. “Okay, we’ll come fishing with you. It’s only fishing, right?”
Between the lines, I heard, “Going fishing with you doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind about a relationship.”
“Just fishing.” I would keep working on her to change her mind about that, but in the meantime, I was happy she’d agreed to anything. It was spending time together, whether it was called a date or not. “I can pick y’all up in about an hour?”
“Okay,” she said.
We arranged that she would text me her address and hung up. I rushed back to my bedroom. If I still had to swing by storage to dig through our old rods, I didn’t have any time to waste.
My house was a single-story home I’d bought a couple of years ago. With Jeremy’s help, I managed to fix it up nicely without spending every last cent I had.
The main bedroom was spacious with hardwood flooring and large, wood framed windows that looked out over a large backyard with a grassy area and trees flanking it. There was a patio with a bar and built-in grill, along with a swimming pool off to the side. Georgia summers were hot, even when people claimed it was cool. Swimming was sometimes the only way to cool off on a blazing hot day.
Walking to my dresser, my eyes scanned my unmade bed with the navy comforter rumpled in the center of the bed. I wasn’t expecting anything, but if the day went well, and Sadie and Emery wanted to come for a swim or dinner, I didn’t want to leave my place a mess. I raced through straightening up before hopping in the shower.
So maybe I was hoping there might be another reason for Sadie to see my bed later on in the evening, but I pushed that out of my mind. There was no denying that I wanted her. In bed. On the couch, the floor. Anywhere really.
But that wasn’t what I was out for today.
After a shower, I shaved and wiped down the bathroom counter before leaving. In short order, I’d found a child-sized fishing rod for Emery to use from our family’s storage and headed to pick up Sadie and Emery.
When we got to the park, Emery’s nose was almost pressed against the window in the back of my truck. “Wow. These trees are huge.”
I nodded, grinning at her excitement. That was what I loved about spending time with Austin as well, the childlike wonder over things adults hardly even noticed anymore. “Some of them are supposed to be over a hundred years old.”
“They make so much shade,” she remarked as I rolled to a stop in the very same parking area we’d used when we were kids. “And the grass is so soft.”
As soon as we climbed out of the car, Emery kicked her shoes off and wiggled her toes between the blades of thick green grass. Sadie took the blanket I’d packed and spread it out under a nice patch of shade while I offloaded the fishing supplies. Pointing to the stream nearby, I put the tackle boxes down and crouched next to Emery, so I was at her eye level. “That’s where we’re going to be fishing. Do you want to come and help me bait the hooks?”
She cringed when she saw the worms but dutifully followed my instructions and then handed me her rod so I could cast for her. Sadie joined us, though she declined to have her own rod. Less than an hour after we got there, Emery got a tug on her line.
Her eyes grew wide, and for a moment, I thought she might let the rod fall. She surprised me when her mouth set in a determined line, and she went about reeling in her first fish.
“Go, Em! Well done, sweetheart.” Sadie clapped and jumped up and down, enveloping a giggling Emery in a hug as I freed the fish from the line.
I showed it to Emery, and Sadie snapped a quick picture of Emery and the fish before I released it again.
“Why are you letting him go?”
Drying my hands on my jeans, I went and sat next to her on the embankment. “It’s catch and release fishing here. It means we can fish, but once we’ve caught one, we have to let it go.”
“Oh.” She chewed on her lower lip and then brightened up. “Does that mean I get to try again?”
“It sure does,” I told her and helped her bait another hook. As I’d expected, being out here again brought back scores of memories of coming here with my family as a child.
When people heard the name “Lovett” then, all they thought about was what happened after my father’s arrest. We’d been a solid, strong family once. When my mom was still alive, we used to come out to fish almost every other weekend.
Emotionally, I’d taken a hit when she died. We all did. I refused to come fishing with my dad and brothers once she was gone. One by one, my brothers stopped coming out too.
All in all, we were still a pretty solid family unit—albeit one with a huge, gaping hole right at
its center where Mom used to be. Then when Dad got arrested, it had all gone to hell. Our family was blown to shreds right along with our last name and reputation.
Still, there had been some good years before all that happened. Casting a sidelong glance at Sadie, I realized that being here with her and Emery, seeing the two of them together and feeling some of it because I was included in their family unit, made me long for that sense of inclusion, of being part of a family.
It wasn’t something I’d let myself think of much before, but by the time I took them home after fishing, the sands had shifted inside fundamentally. Emery ran into the house, then suddenly turned on her heel and raced back to me to throw her arms around my legs.
“Thank you, Evan. I love fishing,” she exclaimed before running into the house again, calling out behind her. “I’m choosing my pajamas and getting ready for my bath, Mom. I’m going to be a fish tonight.”
Sadie let out a soft laugh. “She loves playing games in the bath. I’m assuming they’re going to be fish themed for the next week or so.”
“I’m glad she enjoyed it. Did you?” I asked. It looked like she had, but I was curious to know for sure.
I’d spent most of the day managing my body’s responses to her. Seeing as I was a mechanic, I tended to think in car metaphors. Sadie kept my body on high idle, ready to go off at any time. Thank fuck for the small favors of a distracting child. Emery had absorbed much of my attention, which had been a saving grace in some ways.
Catching Sadie’s green gaze, my eyes took a detour—meandering over the lush curves of her breasts, the shadowed valley in between where her T-shirt dipped down, and the sweet curve of her hips. Damn. Forcing my eyes back up, they landed on her plump lips. My cock twitched and need shot through me. Then was not the time to let that spiral, not with Emery feet away inside.
Sadie nodded in the soft light of their porch. She was standing in the door while I was right outside it, facing her. Our feet were only inches apart. “I can honestly say I don’t remember the last time I had that much fun or saw Emery have that much fun.”
