by J. H. Croix
I really did like her, and I really did want to get to know her. Lying to her or bullshitting her was no way to start something. At least, it wasn’t for me. I wouldn’t give her all the dirty details, but I wouldn’t lie either.
She was the first woman I felt like that about in a long time. If I lied to her right after sleeping with her, it would make me the kind of asshole I didn’t want to be.
Besides, if I wanted to keep getting to know her, she deserved to know what she was getting into. It was a decision she would have to make for her and Emery. She was already taking a leap in trusting me, knowing who my father was. It wasn’t right to hide the rest from her.
“You mentioned yesterday how you didn’t think I was a criminal because my father was one.” Christ, the words were getting stuck in my throat. I wished I had some water, but I didn’t.
Sadie nodded, a line appearing between her eyebrows. “He made his own choices, Evan. They weren’t yours.”
“Fair point, but the choices I have to make now are mine.” I watched as the line smoothed out, and she narrowed her eyes. Suspicion or curiosity, I didn’t know.
“What are the choices you have to make now?” she asked, her voice ringing clear and smooth. She wasn’t suddenly afraid of me, which I was counting as a win.
Though I wasn’t an expert on the subject, I didn’t know how many naked women would calmly be able to sit and discuss something like that. I knew it already, but I was struck again by how strong she was. Storms could rage around that woman, and she would brave them with her head held high, without cowering or hiding. I admired her for it.
“I have to do something for my father,” I finally said. She cocked her head and waited for me to continue without saying anything. “My brother’s in trouble. I’ve been trying to think of a different way to do things, but I don’t see any other way.”
Expecting her to suddenly start getting dressed and making excuses about how she had to get home, I was surprised when she sat back against my headboard and made herself comfortable. “Is your brother in real trouble? Or do you think he might be?”
I chuckled humorlessly. “The trouble is very, very real.”
Sadie shrugged, her eyes warm on mine. “In that case, you have to do what you have to do. Life pushes us sometimes, and the only way to get through is to get through.”
“True, but you said my father being a criminal doesn’t make me one. Turns out it might make me one.” Which was the reason I was telling her all that, so she could run if she wanted to. As much as I might’ve wanted to, I wouldn’t have chased her if she did.
Her gaze was steady on mine. “You’re a good guy, Evan. Whatever it is you have to do, you’re not doing it for personal gain. You’re doing it to protect your brother. Protecting family…” She took a deep breath, her eyes drifting closed for a fraction of a second before they were back on mine. “Everyone should have a family member to protect them, someone who’s willing to walk through fire for them. In my book, that doesn’t make you a criminal. It makes you a good brother.”
“You don’t know what our father has asked me to do.”
For a second, she faltered. But then she took a breath and smiled teasingly. “Do you have to assassinate someone?”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “Definitely not. We may be the Lovetts—which, granted, in this town isn’t necessarily a great family to belong to anymore—but we’re not the mob.”
“Oh.” Her brows went up, and she made a move to get off the bed. “Well, in that case, I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
I grabbed her ankle and pulled her back to the bed. Laughing, she looped her arms around my shoulders and grew serious. “Sometimes you have to do bad things for a good reason. You have a good reason.”
Feeling all kinds of things I couldn’t identify rushing through me, I lowered my head and kissed her deeply. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined finding someone who understood.
It was after seven when I dropped Sadie off back at her house.
She’d let me make her some coffee but declined breakfast and said she needed to get home by the time Emery woke up. Since it was exactly what I’d been prepared for, I wasn’t disappointed, but I still found myself wishing she could’ve stayed a little longer.
“Thank you so much for last night,” she said, unbuckling her seat belt and turning to face me. “I had a great time.”
“Yeah, I know. Three times,” I joked. It earned me a blush and a sassy smile.
“Looks who’s talking. If I recall correctly, we’re on three each.”
I nodded, chuckling. “I also had a great time having dinner with you.”
“It’s been good getting to know you, Evan Lovett,” she said, leaning forward slightly.
I took that as my cue and lifted my hand, placing it on the side of her neck. “You, too, Sadie Hammel.”
Bending my head, I pressed my lips to hers. As it had earlier, it started off slow and sweet but quickly grew hot and heavy.
It startled me how much I wanted her. Just a brief taste and I was as hard as I’d ever been, ready to drag her into my lap.
I broke away from her only because I knew if I didn’t, I would do something stupid. Like finally make use of my back seat. But I couldn’t.
“Bye, Evan,” she said in a whisper before opening the door and hopping out.
When she was safely inside her house, I left. The depth of my need for her was surprising, unlike anything before it. Only minutes away from her and I missed her presence.
“Jesus,” I muttered, adjusting my straining cock away from my zipper. It was as bad as it’d last been when I was a teenager.
By the time I got back home, I had shaken off the need from our kiss enough to think about that morning and what she’d said. Good people had to do bad things sometimes for good reasons. As much as I tried to be a good person, I didn’t know if I was, but I did have to do a bad thing, and I did have a good reason for doing it.
Beau answered his phone on the second ring. “What’s up, little brother? You’re up early for a Sunday.”
“I’m always up early,” I shot back. Then I sealed my fate. “I’ve decided to do it. Tomorrow.”
He was silent for a few beats, and then he breathed out a relieved sigh. “Thanks, man. Anything I can do to help?”
I weighed up his offer, shaking my head though he couldn’t see me. “I don’t think so.”
“Okay, if anything pops up I can help with, let me know and I’m there.” He would be. I was sure of it. Unfortunately, I had a feeling that had to be a solo flight.
“Sure, thanks. I’ll let you know when it’s done.” After it was, I fucking hoped I would never have to do anything like it ever again, but I had a nagging feeling it would only be the beginning.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sadie
The house smelled like bacon and pancakes when I stepped inside. I could hear Lori and Emery chattering in the kitchen. Emery was telling Lori about something her teacher had planned for the class that week.
Smiling to myself, I headed down the hallway to change before joining them in the kitchen. I'd had a quick shower at Evan's, so I only had to throw on some comfortable yoga pants and a shirt before I was ready.
Emery clapped excitedly when she saw me and opened her arms for a hug. "Mommy! We're having pancakes for breakfast."
"I see that. Looks like I got here in time." I looped my arms around her shoulders and rested my head on top of hers. Lori was as comfortable in my kitchen as she was in her own, flipping pancakes with a black spatula and slipping the ones that were done onto a plate beside her. "Anything I could do to help?"
Wrinkling her nose, she pointed the spatula at the fridge. "You can grab some juice if you want."
"I’m on it," I told her and grabbed what I needed. "Was everything okay here last night?"
She rolled her eyes at me, giggling. "This wasn't our first rodeo. We were fine."
Emery nodded enthusiastic
ally, her eyes wide. "We watched a movie about a fish that got lost. I wonder if any of those fish we caught the other day was lost."
"I doubt it, sweetheart. I think it's easier to navigate a river than the ocean."
Emery considered that and, when Lori was done with the next batch of pancakes, took her plate to dish up. When she had what she wanted, she asked if she could watch her Sunday morning show. I nodded, and she went off. Lori and I fixed breakfast for ourselves, taking our usual seats at the tiny island.
"Now that there are no little ears listening in, how was your date?" she asked between bites of her pancake.
I couldn't stop the happy sigh that slipped out. Lori arched her brow, amusement in her eyes. "That good, huh?"
I nodded. "It was. We went to dinner at that little Spanish place you told me about when it opened. The food was divine."
Blushing when I thought back to the last time I'd heard someone say something was divine, I knew I wasn't going to get away with it when Lori caught my eye. "There’s a story here, pray tell."
The tips of my ears turned blood red and felt like they were on fire. "We had a good night together, that's all."
She sighed and sipped on some orange juice. "Did Evan treat you right?"
Thinking back to how he kept checking on me, making sure he wasn't pushing me and then held me all through the night, I nodded. "He's a wonderful guy. We get along so well, and that translated through to, well, you know…"
Lori snorted. "I know how long it's been for you, remember? I'm pretty sure a body pillow would have made it good for you at this stage."
Blood rushed to my cheeks again. "Shut up. That's not true. Okay, maybe a little, but that's not what it was about."
"Of course not." She smirked and speared another bite with her fork. "I'm happy for you, but it doesn't look like this is going to be a one and done thing."
From her expression, she didn't look too happy. "Why is that a problem?"
Shaking her head, she protested quickly. "It's not a problem. I'm just not sure if he's the kind of guy you want to jump into the dating pool with."
"Why not? You were the one who encouraged me to ask him out in the first place."
She nodded. "Of course, I know. I knew you would have fun with him, but I wasn't expecting anything to come of it."
"What do you mean?" I was starting to get a bad feeling about that.
Lori shrugged. “I don't know him or his family, but I don't know what to think about them. I suppose it's not up to me to pass judgment on them, but I don't know if you can trust them."
When I was with Evan, I felt like I could trust him implicitly, and I said as much to Lori. She nodded and lifted a shoulder as she tilted her head. "I knew them a bit in high school, Sonny and Jeremy anyway. Evan was already a senior then, but I knew of him too. They were nice guys. I never would have thought anything would happen to them like what did."
"You know much about what happened with his father's trial?" I asked. Having not been around Cyprus Creek much around the time and with Emery to keep me busy, I hadn't followed the trial as religiously as some of the other townsfolk had.
Lori whistled under her breath. "I don't remember all the ins and outs of it, but I do remember that the gossip used to blow through that town like a hurricane every day. It might've been their father's trial, but those guys were front and center in the stories about it."
I vaguely remembered hearing their names everywhere you went. I also remembered thinking how terrible it must be to live under that kind of microscope. "Yeah, poor guys."
"Said no one about the Lovetts ever," she pointed out.
"I'm saying it about them right now. What they went through with all that must've been awful."
"True, but it's their own fault," Lori said.
"Their father's fault," I corrected gently. When I told Evan I didn't believe their father being who he was made them criminals, I’d meant it. "They were only his kids. That was their only involvement."
"Yeah," she agreed. "But they are his kids. I mean, what do we really know about Evan other than that?"
"I've been getting to know him, and he's different. He's not like his father."
She gave me pointed look. "How would we know that, though? We don't know his dad or what he was like back then. Criminals always look like normal people, you know?"
I rolled my eyes, intently letting them slide to the living room. "You've been watching too much TV when Emery goes to sleep. All those true crime shows are influencing your judgment."
She laughed, but I could see worry lingering in her eyes. "You might be right, but I still want you to promise me you'll be careful. You never know how involved he might have been or even still is. It could be that he's only involved by being his father's kid, but he could've been a lot more actively involved. Their father could've taken the fall for all of them."
Conspiracy theories usually weren't something I paid much attention to. The way I saw it, there probably was some truth to some of them, but I would never know what was true about which one anyway, so I ignored all of it.
This time, however, I remembered what Evan said about having to help his father because his brother was in trouble. I hadn't thought it was a problem at the time, but then I wasn't so sure. What if they were involved somehow?
"I'm not saying he's a bad guy. I'm only asking you to be careful." Lori said.
I nodded. The pancakes didn't taste like much after that. "I will be. You're right."
"I usually am," she said with a grin. When she left after breakfast, I did the dishes and joined Emery when her show finished.
"What do you want to do today?" I asked her, eyeing her pink plastic arts and crafts table in the corner. She was going through a creative phase I kind of hoped would stick.
She followed my eyes, hopping off the couch to kneel on the carpet beside the table. "Want to play paper dolls?"
"Sure," I said, walking over to sit cross-legged beside her. I picked up a new paper doll she and Lori must have made. "What's her name?"
"That's Jessie,” she told me, handing me another doll. It was male and had brown hair and green eyes. "That one's Evan."
My heart leaped in my chest. I already knew Emery liked Evan, but if she was making a paper doll of him, it was worse than I thought. After all the made-up characters like Jessie, the only people who had their own paper dolls were Emery, her teacher, Lori, and me.
I chewed on my lip as we played, trying to pay attention to the make-believe kingdom the paper dolls were all living in, while at the same time thinking back to what Lori said.
Whether Evan was a good or a bad guy, I couldn't have any man coming in and out of Emery's life. She meant too much to me. If he was involved in his father's dealings, I couldn't have that anywhere near Emery.
As the day wore on, I bounced between wanting to text him and tell him thanks but no thanks or to leave things be. When he told me that morning he had to do something for his father, his eyes were dark and filled with turmoil. He certainly didn't look like a man who wanted any part of whatever he had to do.
Even the fact that he'd told me about it all spoke volumes in and of itself. I had no idea his father had asked him to do something. He could easily have kept it from me.
Instead, he openly admitted to it after I opened my eyes that morning. A bad guy surely wouldn't have done that. He had no reason to come right out with it except that he wanted me to know.
In the afternoon, Emery and I were reading when my phone started ringing. When I saw it was Evan calling, I told Emery I’d be right back and took the call in my bedroom where I could talk without fear of being overheard.
“I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today,” I told him, happier than I had a right to be that he was calling. My heart spun in my chest and joy fizzed inside.
He chuckled, the gruff sound sending a shiver through me. Despite the logical part of my brain telling me to calm down, the rest of me was ecstatic to hear from him. “I wasn’
t expecting to call you today,” he replied.
Another instance in which he was being honest. How could a guy who had been nothing but straight and honest with me since the moment I met him be bad news?
“Big news?” I asked him, curious about why he’d called. It’d been a while since I’d gone paddling in the dating pool, but I was pretty sure there were some arbitrary rules about having to wait before you called.
“I’ve been thinking about something all day, and I thought you should know about it.”
“Yeah?” My voice remained steady, but everything in me felt like it was stuck in a washing machine as I waited for him to tell me.
“I think I need you in my life, Sadie. I hope it’s not too soon or creepy or weird, but I wanted you to know.”
My heart banged even harder. “It’s not weird. It might be a little too soon, but I’m not freaked out by it. I feel like I need you in my life as well, Evan. I don’t know why. I just do.”
Ultimately, that was the truth. Despite Lori’s misgivings about his family, I had to trust my gut. It told me I could trust Evan, and if I was being honest, I wanted him in my life as much as he seemed to want to be in it.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Evan
If I ever had any doubt whatsoever about whether I should’ve been a criminal instead of a mechanic, the one thing I learned from doing the deal with the transfers of the money for my dad was that I loved my job and hated his—if being a criminal even classified as a job.
I was jittery all morning, and though I thought I managed to hide it successfully, I was nervous as fuck. My eyes kept starting to dart around, but since I knew that would be a dead giveaway, I forced myself to stare stoically ahead as I stood in line waiting my turn. Since I’d never done anything even remotely like that before, I was surprised that everyone around me seemed normal, and no one seemed to suspect a thing. I felt like I had a tattoo on my forehead proclaiming I was doing something wrong, yet no one paid any attention to me.
