by J. H. Croix
Four and a half minutes later, I pulled into her driveway. The door swung open, and Emery came bounding out, throwing her arms around me when I crouched down for a hug. “Evan! Do you have a dog?”
My eyebrows pulled together. “A dog?”
I flicked a glance up at Sadie, but she only gave me tight smile and shrugged. “Someone at school got a new dog, I think.”
She thought? Sadie always paid religious attention to Emery’s day. The worry in my chest clenched as I looked at her and then back to Emery. “I don’t have one, but my brother, Jeremy, does. His name is Arcadian.”
Pushing to my feet, I answered all of Emery’s excited questions about Arcadian, but my attention was on Sadie. She gave me a quick hug, and I felt her sagging against my chest. I folded my arms around her and held her tightly to me for only a second before she pulled away. “We were about to have dinner in about ten minutes or so. Would you like to join us?”
“We’re having lasagna,” Emery told me and then ran ahead before pausing in the doorway to add, “Dogs can’t have lasagna. They shouldn’t have pasta or cheese. My teacher said so.”
“Your teacher’s right,” I said, following her inside. “That’s human food. It’s not good for dogs.”
“Not to be a killjoy, but pasta and cheese aren’t great for humans either,” Sadie piped up behind me. Her voice cracked with exhaustion. It was all I could do not to sweep her off her feet, tuck her in bed for a nice, long sleep, and sort out all her problems before she woke up. I doubted she would appreciate if I did that, though, so instead, I focused on keeping Emery entertained and helping as much as I could with dinner.
The lasagna was in the oven and almost ready as I’d been told. But I commandeered Emery to get our plates and condiments ready, poured Sadie a glass of wine, and gently took over the salad-making duties.
Emery talked nonstop about dogs. “Did you know you can teach them when to sit and roll over and stay?”
I smiled at her enthusiasm. “I did. Depending on the breed and your own dedication, you can teach them a lot more than that.”
Her eyes widened with excitement. “Really? Like what?”
“All kinds of stuff,” I told her. “You can teach them to fetch and bring things back to you, and you can teach them to find stuff like the police do.”
“I want a dog,” Emery declared, looking at Sadie imploringly. The lasagna was ready, so I dished up for everyone and got Emery to wash her hands before she ate. When she returned, she was as determined as ever. “My teacher says having a dog is good for a child.”
“We’re not getting a dog right now, sweetheart,” Sadie told her sadly.
Emery’s shoulders swooped down, but then she righted them again. “No, we can’t get one now. It’s nighttime. How about tomorrow?”
“Dogs are a ton of responsibility,” I told Emery, hoping to help diffuse any building tension. Sadie smiled gratefully, letting me tell Emery all about how much work it would be if she got a dog.
We had a nice dinner together, but Sadie was so obviously stressed, it physically hurt me to look at her. After dinner, she put Emery to bed, and I poured us each another glass of wine while I waited for her.
“What happened with your job?” I asked when she got back and took a generous swig of the wine.
She shrugged, tears welling in the corners of her eyes. She wiped them away miserably. “They cut the position. I suspect Ken might be behind it, but I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. The job’s gone either way.”
“I’m not going to lie and tell you I’m not happy you’re free of that man’s hold on you.”
Her cheeks flushed. “I already told you, Evan. I can’t afford to lose that job. Rent’s almost due, and that’s not to mention the hundred other expenses I have to pay.”
“Come and stay with me,” I told her point-blank. I promised myself I would stop holding back, and now was the time to actually do it. “I want both of you to stay with me. You wouldn’t have to pay rent, and you’d save on other expenses. You could only work at the diner and have more time at home to spend with Emery.”
“I can’t, Evan,” she whispered. Taking a deep breath, she let it out with a shaky sigh. “I appreciate the offer, but you’re already doing too much for me by arranging for my car to be towed, fixing it, and now lending me another one.”
I waved it all off, taking her hand in mine. “That’s nothing, trust me. It’s my job. I want you two to stay with me. It’s not only because I want to help you or because you’ve lost your job. I want you with me. You know I do. We’ve talked about it before.”
Eyes searching mine, she took a small sip of her wine before averting them. “It would confuse Emery. Nothing has changed since the first time we talked about this. You want us with you to protect us and now to help us out. Even if I wanted to say yes, I couldn’t. If Emery and I moved in with you, she wouldn’t understand it was only for the short term. I’m sorry, Evan. I can’t do it.”
This whole relationship thing was new to me, there was no denying that. I didn’t have the perfect words, and I risked sounding like a douchebag if I said the wrong things, but I decided to be blunt.
“Maybe things between us are moving too fast for you. I get it, but we don’t have to move at anyone else’s pace. We get to move at our pace. Personally, I think it’s perfect timing for you guys to move in with me.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “I love you, Sadie. I love you, and I’m committed to both you and Emery. Please, move in with me?”
Chapter Ten
Sadie
Stunned wasn’t the right word to describe how I felt in that moment. Evan’s clear green eyes burned into mine, and suddenly, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it there before. They were filled with love and hope and passion. He loved me? How could he love me?
After a minute, I composed myself enough to shake my head. “It’s too much, too soon. Last week this time, we weren’t even together anymore. I don’t know what we are now, but it’s too soon to take a step as big as moving in with you.”
Cocking his head, he ran a hand through his brown hair and closed his eyes. When he opened his eyes, they locked to mine. He reached for me, wrapping his strong arms around me and pulling me close. I was practically on his lap as he murmured into my hair. “It isn’t too soon or too much. This is us, Sadie. The only thing that matters is what feels right to us. The times I’ve been here with you and Emery, didn’t that feel right?”
I burrowed into his chest, allowing the feel of his embrace to wash over me. I knew how it felt every time he was with us. It felt almost too good to be true. Not in a still-life perfect moment, but in a messy he’s-here-through-it-all moment. He’d never once hesitated to accept Emery as a complete part of my life.
Even earlier tonight, he had taken over for me with her. He made sure she was fed and that her hands her washed. He listened to her and engaged her in conversation, so I could rest. Then I remembered what it felt like to crawl into bed next to him and to wake up in his arms.
It did feel right. All of it. Until I remembered what it felt like when I got that call from him when he broke it off with me. I tensed, and his hands were on my shoulders immediately, rubbing them. “You don’t think it felt right?”
“It did,” I said, my lips brushing against the skin of his collarbone. “I still can’t do it. Moving in with someone is a huge step. The relationship has to be ready for it, stable. That’s why it’s too soon. What if one of us changes our minds?”
He pulled back enough to look into my eyes, cradling my cheek in his hand. “I’m not going to change my mind.”
I kept quiet, not wanting to rehash how he’d apparently changed his mind not so long ago. Evan caught on anyway and spoke in an insistent tone. “I’m not going to change my mind. I never did. Ken threatened you, and my knee-jerk reaction was terrible, but that’s all it was. A terrible reaction to a threat that won’t be repeated.”
“The threat or the reaction?”
I asked.
A half-smile kicked up his lips. “I can’t speak for those threatening us, but I will never react that way again. You have my word, and that means something to me.”
I knew it did, and it eased my mind some to know how serious he was this time. It didn’t, however, mean the time was right to make the kind of decision he wanted me to make. “I don’t know, Evan. Bringing a man into Emery’s life like that, it’s more than a ‘let’s go fishing’ kind of thing. She’d be there in your space around the clock. She’s my first priority, and she was always will be, which means meals times and just about everything else around here operates according to her routine. Breakfast before school and dinner before bed. It’s hard work, and you might not like it.”
Seriously, he said, “I understand why you’re cautious. Your history, having Emery, it’s all given you damned good reasons to be. But I’m not the kind of man to commit to something without meaning it.”
I started to protest, but he held a finger gently over my lips. “Please, let me finish. When I commit to something, I have to be one hundred percent sure about it, or I don’t do it. That’s why I didn’t commit to you before, not because I didn’t want to commit to you, but because it never even crossed my mind I was ready to commit in this way. I know that I am. Trust me, I’m so ready. I love you, and I can’t think of anything better than having you and Emery with me around the clock.”
Biting my lip, I held my breath as I regarded him. There was nothing in his features to say he was lying or being insincere. He truly thought he was ready. “That’s the problem, though. It’s not easy for me to trust anyone. Not a lot of people have given me reason to trust them. I love you, too, but it’s terrifying for me to depend on any man. It’s not because of you or what happened, but I can’t imagine having to rely on anyone else.”
Since I was being honest, I decided to get it all out in the open. “I’ve always had to take care of myself. Then Emery came along, and I had to take care of her too. I know I’ve said all this to you before, but you need to understand how big of a deal it is for me to even consider letting myself depend on someone else. Especially a man. Men haven’t been kind to me. It’s not your fault, but you do have to deal with the consequences.”
“Which are that you don’t trust men,” he finished for me. I nodded. Looking into my eyes for a long moment, he took my hands and kissed the backs of them. “I do understand. Maybe not everything, but I think I understand as well as I possibly can. I’m here for you, Sadie. Depend on me, and give me a chance to show you that you can trust me.”
Conflicted, I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “I can’t make you any promises right this minute.”
“That’s okay. Tell me you’ll consider it. That’s all I’m asking, for you to consider giving me a chance to show you.”
Eyes locked on his, I answered. “Okay, I’ll consider it.”
“Thank you,” he said, bending his head toward mine. His lips were so tantalizingly close, only inches away when he paused to push a lock of hair behind my ear. “I’m going to kiss you now. That okay?”
I nodded silently, struck again by his gentle consideration of my emotional state, always checking in to make sure he wasn’t crossing any lines after I’d had a tough day.
Before I could comment on it, his lips were on mine, and every thought except for how good they felt was banished from my head. Evan’s tongue stroked into my mouth, bringing me fully into the present with him.
My fingers wound into his hair, and I leaned into him. Kissing me deeply, he angled my head and lifted his lips from mine to nuzzle my throat. His little nips and licks made me squirm on top of him, the low sounds he made bringing my body to a state of electrifying awareness.
Shifting me so I was straddling him, his fingers dug into my hips and ass, traveling up my back and into my hair. Everywhere he touched, my skin came alive. Heat radiated from my core.
Moaning softly, I let my head fall back and let myself feel him, relished that he was there with me and that we loved each other.
He dipped his head from my throat to my collarbones and then lower to my chest. My nipples were tight against my shirt, and his warm mouth enveloped one through the thin cotton. I strained toward him, gasping at the light suction.
My hands mapped his chest, savoring the feel of the hard-muscled planes.
I needed more. When I tugged at his shirt, Evan drew back. “Bedroom?”
“Yes,” I whispered. Emery wasn’t likely to wake up, but on the off chance she did, I didn’t want her finding us on the couch caught up in each other.
Evan lifted me into his arms and carried me to the bedroom, easing me down at the foot of the bed. After he closed the door, our clothes came off in a tangle of kisses and touches.
His eyes roamed every inch of me once I was bare, his breathing growing heavier. His hands trailed up my calves and thighs, the ghost of a touch sending hot shivers through me.
I whimpered, my muscles already tightening in anticipation. “Evan, please.”
He nodded slowly, running his eyes up the length of my body to meet mine. “Okay, but we’re taking it slow next time.”
Slow? We were already going excruciatingly slow as far as the aching need in me was concerned. Biting my lip, I moaned again when he tweaked a nipple and lowered his mouth to suck it in.
When he finally stretched out beside me, his warm skin was against mine, I sighed and arched into him.
He chuckled, magically producing a condom, which he must’ve tugged out of his wallet, and rolled it on. “I know, baby. I want you just as bad.”
If I was capable of forming words, I might’ve argued with him. There was no way he would be moving so slowly if he did. Even then, he didn’t rush. At least, not by my standards. He teased me to near madness with his lips, teeth, and tongue detouring all over my body. Only when I begged again did he rest his hips in the cradle of mine. The feel of his hard, hot length against my slick folds made me cry out, bucking my hips into him.
Finally, finally, he sank inside, filling me with one slow thrust. He reached for my hands and kept his eyes on mine. It felt different this time, intimate. Explosive. Loving.
I was torn between closing my eyes to let the pleasure wash over me and envelop me and keeping them open to watch it consuming him. In the end, I couldn’t look away. His eyes were dark, hungry, intent on mine. With every thrust, he pushed me closer and closer to the edge, sparks of pleasure scattering through me.
Reaching between us, he swirled his thumb over my swollen clit. My climax crashed through me, pleasure rocking me so hard, his name came in a ragged cry.
Evan came with me, his body going taut as a rough groan followed my name. I hadn’t fully caught my breath before he was lowering himself down my body, kissing and licking his path to my sensitive clit. Pleasure blurred into another climax before he collapsed beside me.
Early the next morning, Evan left to get us breakfast before Emery woke up. My muscles were deliciously sore from last night when I stretched out, a lazy smile on my lips.
When I spotted the notification light on my phone flashing where it lay on my nightstand, my good mood faded. Rent was due today, and I didn’t have the money. My landlord was patient with me, but only if I kept him in the loop.
Sighing, I sat up, grabbed my phone and called him before Evan got back or Emery woke up. I didn’t need an audience for this call.
“Mr. Halder, hi. This is Sadie,” I said when he answered. We exchanged pleasantries before I told him the reason I was calling. He was understanding when I explained I didn’t have money for rent because my job got cut.
His kindly voice, which I knew could turn firm in an instant, was reassuring. “So many cuts in this economy. It’s a shame. Okay, I can give you two weeks to pay, but that’s it.”
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” It was a huge relief knowing I had some leeway. My lease was up soon anyway, and Evan’s plea to depend on him was constantly on my mind.
&
nbsp; It wasn’t that I didn’t want to move in with him. In a way, it was that I wanted it too much. The idea was more than I could have hoped for. Someone to lean on, someone to share my burdens with, and someone to love who loved me in return. There was that and then the intense desire that flared between us and only seemed to gain power. The life Evan and I could have together if things worked out was right there for the taking. He was handing it to me on a silver platter, begging me to take it.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want it anymore. I did, more than anything. Even if I was still afraid he would hurt me again, I was willing to take a chance on him one more time. Everyone deserved a second chance, after all.
Before I accepted his offer, though, I needed to talk to Emery. This decision affected both of us, and she needed to be comfortable with it. She adored Evan. I hoped that would be enough.
Chapter Eleven
Evan
Music blared over the speakers in the workshop on Saturday afternoon. Since Sadie had a day shift at the diner, which was rare for her over the weekend, I decided to be productive, too, and come into the shop.
In a better mood than I had been for weeks, listening to a killer playlist, and free of the administrative stuff that weighed me down in the week, I was making good progress. Whistling along to the song under my breath, I worked on restoring a classic engine.
This kind of work where I could zone out and do my thing was therapeutic to me. It gave me time to think clearly about everything going on in my life.
Sadie hadn’t agreed to move in with me yet, but I didn’t think her denial was as firm as it used to be. She promised to consider it, and I thought she might be swinging my way. I was serious when I told her I was committed to them, and she believed me.
It was a big step, and she worried about it, but I was ready. Though I’d only had a little taste of what it might be like living with Sadie and Emery, it was what I wanted. It felt right to me, the idea of having them in my home.
