The Stevens are sitting at the dining room table eating a late dinner, Ethan included. They’re all laughing and enjoying each other. A spasm of jealousy shoots through my heart. I don’t like it.
“Hey,” I say with a smile as I approach the table.
“Storm,” Mrs. S. greets me. “We set a place for you. Sit and eat.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Stevens.” I sit down next to Ethan where my place setting sat. Across from Honor. I blow her a soft kiss with my lips, trying hard to keep it inconspicuous.
She smiles. My jealousy is not quieted by this. I expected her to blow a kiss back. Part of me did not want to leave Ethan in charge of her, knowing damn well she still had feelings for him. But I can’t trust Hunter or Elijah to protect her like Ethan would. Trying not to let my doubt show on my face, I paste on a smile and tell Mrs. S. how delicious her meal is.
“Thank you, Storm. Honor and Ethan helped.”
“Hmmm. Nice.” Well if that didn’t just kill me. I wonder if their cooking led to the same thing it led to when Honor and I tried to prepare dinner. “If you’ll excuse me,” I say before finishing dinner, “I am really tired. Would you all mind if I excused myself?”
“Not at all, honey,” Mrs. S. says. “Go ahead. Get some rest.”
Not even looking at Honor, I take my dish to the sink and head for my bed. I don’t change into shorts or anything. I just plop down on top of the covers fully clothed and kick off my shoes. I lay my head against the pillow and close my eyes. My intentions of asking Honor to be my girlfriend flew out the window the minute I caught the guilty look on her face at the dinner table.
A light knock on the door startles me from my nap.
“Yeah?” I call out.
“Can I come in?” Honor asks.
I sit up against the headboard. “It’s your room, princess. You don’t need to ask permission.”
She leaves the door open, like her mom requires, and sits on the side edge of her bed facing me. “Why did you leave the table? You don’t get tired. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Storm. Stop. This is about Ethan isn’t it?”
I sit up and face her, knees to knees. “Is that your guilt talking or are you feeling what I’m thinking?”
Her lower lip tremors and it makes me feel bad for being sarcastic.
“That’s not fair.” Her voice is quiet, but she continues looking me in the eyes.
“What are we doing here, Honor? Is there something between us or not?”
Her knee bounces up and down, causing mine to do the same. “I thought so,” she says, her voice still barely above a whisper.
“I thought so too.” I can’t seem to hide my aggravation.
“Then…I don’t understand…why are you mad?”
“Is there something between you and Ethan still?” I ask her, needing to know the answer as if my next breath depends on it.
She shrugs. “I…I don’t know…it’s just…”
“It just sucks is what it is, Honor. I can’t be holding you in my arms one day then watch you swoon over my brother the next. I may be a wiseass son of a bitch, but when it comes to you, my heart just can’t take it.”
“Swoon?” she says, her voice clipped. “Who’s swooning? I certainly am not. Give me a break. You’re being totally unfair and irrational.”
“Oh. Really? I don’t think so at all. I saw your face at the dinner table. You had guilt written all over it.”
“Maybe if you thought to ask me instead of storming off, you’d have found out why I had guilt written all over my face,” she mocks.
“I don’t think asking you at the dinner table would have been appropriate, do you?”
“Well, no, but you didn’t have to excuse yourself from the table in a huff.”
“I didn’t think it was in a huff. I thought I remained quite calm,” I admit. “You’re the one getting all defensive right now.”
“Uggh,” she groans. She shakes her head and goes to her dresser.
“Honor.”
She turns around. “What?”
“I’m sorry.” I stand up and move toward her.
She closes in on me, so I take her in my arms. Over her head, I ask her in the calmest voice I can why she had that look on her face.
My chest feels warm as she sighs into it. “I was feeling guilty for Ethan…not because of him.”
I pull her away to bring her at arm’s length and look at her face. “Why? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Sure it does,” she says. She takes a few breaths and looks like she’s composing her thoughts. “Before we started helping Mom with dinner…we…uh…had a long talk.” Honor clears her throat, obviously stalling for time. “He…uh…told me he wanted to give us…another try.”
“Who? You and Ethan?”
She only nods.
“What the fu…hell? He knows how I feel…never mind. What did you say?”
“I told him I didn’t think that was a good idea right now.”
“Right now?” I jump in.
“Well, I couldn’t just like tell him no right out. I felt bad for him.”
“Okay. Did you say anything about me?”
She shakes her head this time.
“But he knows about us, Honor. He sees me holding you all the time. The fact that you didn’t mention your feelings towards me, gives him reason to try again.” I’m pissed again. And I hate being pissed. Especially since I’ve been so happy with Honor recently.
Her back is facing me now as she walks toward her window.
“I don’t know what else to do, Storm.” She turns around to face me. “Having a boyfriend is new to me. I’ve never dealt with all this before.”
“That’s just it. Tonight I had wanted to ask you officially to be my girlfriend. Then I come home to this. You say having a boyfriend is new to you…who do you mean? Who is your boyfriend?”
Plopping back down on her bed, she looks like she’s about to cry.
Her inevitable tears do me in. I sit next to her on her bed and drape my arm around her. “Listen, Honor. You’re obviously not ready to…be my girl, so I’ll just have to accept that. But I need to know one thing…did he kiss you today?”
When her eyes meet her lap, I regret asking her that question. “Did you kiss him back?” I ask, knowing damn well I do not want to know the answer to that.
Her eyes remain on her lap while she fidgets with her fingers.
Shit.
I remove my arm from around her and go to the bathroom to get ready for bed. There is no way I can deal with this right now. When the heart breaks, the mind either shuts down or goes crazy. And I’m about to go freaking crazy, so I need to shut down. Now. Sleeping is the only way I know to do that.
After spending some time in the bathroom, Honor is still sitting on the bed where I left her. From the look of her heaving shoulders, she’s crying. I’ll go crazy if I look at her, so I keep my gaze down, take off my shirt, let down my bed and climb in – making sure to face the window as I do.
That lasts about thirty seconds, because I hear her hitched breathing and I melt. Sitting up in my bed, I look at her and wave two fingers in my direction. “C’mere, princess.”
I pull her between my legs so we’re sitting with her back against my chest. She rests the back of her head against my shoulder, and I think, this is where she belongs…whether she knows it or not. “I’m sorry I walked away,” I say into her ear. “It’s best though, when I’m angry, to walk away.”
“I’m sorry I made you angry,” she says, her voice sounding so weak.
“No, princess. You have nothing to apologize for. You haven’t even broken up with Ethan that long ago. I should have never even considered being with you until you had healed from it. I’m really sorry.”
“Thanks,” she whispers. “I do like you, Storm. Sometimes…I think I…lo…” She pauses and takes a breath. “I love you.”
I kiss her cheek. “You don’t h
ave to say that, sweetheart.”
“But I want to…and I do…love you, that is. But when I’m with Ethan…I get confused. I wish I weren’t an empath, because then I wouldn’t have my feelings fighting with everyone else’s. It gets difficult to decipher. You know what I mean?” Honor’s huge violet eyes look up at me.
“I think I do, darling. But to be sure…after this is all over, you know, the whole Asa Mr. Moore thing…maybe you and I should take a break too. This way you’ll know for sure if you actually love me…or if you are just feeling my love for you and confusing the two.”
She looks up at me with watery eyes. “But I’ll miss you.”
“And I’ll miss you too. But it’s the only way. I don’t want to keep you in a relationship that you’re not even sure about.”
“Yeah. I guess not. Maybe I’ll go away with my parents or something. They probably need a vacation after all this too.”
“I’m sure they do.” I kiss my princess on her cheek and hold her for as long as I can. Honor has become my every thought lately. Living without her, even for a short time, is going to kill me.
Chapter Thirty-Six
When Honor’s alarm clock rings, we wake in each other’s arms. Sometime during the night we must have slunk down under the covers and continued holding each other. My arms are wrapped around her so that both my hands are clasped together, and she is huddled tight inside my arms, her head still firmly against my chest.
Unclasping my hands, I reach over to the end table and shut off the blaring alarm.
“Morning, angel,” I whisper over her head.
“Morning,” she breathes into my chest.
Neither one of us wants to make the first move.
“Princess, I don’t have a problem cutting school in order to stay in bed with you all day, but something tells me your parents won’t exactly approve.”
Her giggling against my bare chest makes all the little hairs around my pecs tingle, sending the most fabulous sensation right down to the hairline on my stomach. I kiss the top of her head.
“C’mon, princess. We need to get up,” I say, my words betraying my actions, because I am still holding on to her as tight as I can.
Lifting her head, she kisses my chest then looks at my face. “I like the way I feel when I’m with you, Storm.” Her eyes get more intense as she looks deep into mine. “I hope they’re my own feelings, because…I don’t want to let this go.”
I sigh with a smile. “I hope so too, angel. I really do. But a little time apart…and we’ll know for sure.” I continue to smile though my heart is trembling with fear that she’ll have realized a different truth while she’s away.
My high from waking up with Honor plummets when I see Ethan getting out of his car. Needing to protect Honor, I keep her by my side as we walk into school, but I want to kick his ass for hitting on her.
“Hey,” Ethan says so innocently.
“Hey,” Honor replies.
I keep quiet for fear if I open my mouth I’ll let loose on his skinny ass.
Honor keeps her head down the whole while walking to her first period class. Ethan’s presence unnerves me. He insists on walking with us. When I finally blow a kiss good-bye to Honor, Ethan is still by my side.
“What?” I ask, agitated by his refusal to leave.
“I talked to Moore this morning.”
“And?”
“Today. We’re meeting today.” Ethan’s words don’t’ come out calm. He’s a nervous wreck.
“Today? When did you talk to Moore? We just walked in.”
“I emailed him like you said and left my number. He called me as I was driving in.”
I run a quivering hand through my hair and start pacing. “I’m not ready. Why today?”
Ethan shakes his head. “I don’t know, man. Mr. Moore didn’t explain anything.
“Shit. Fine. I’ll go talk to him and we’ll talk it out at lunch.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Ethan starts to walk away.
“Oh, and little brother?”
He turns to face me.
“Don’t you fucking make a move on her again. She’s mine.” I turn and walk away.
“Fuck you,” he says, and I swear…he laughs.
Pushing past the pesky teenagers sauntering to their second period class, I race to Moore’s class before the bell rings.
“Moore,” I say with a ragged voice.
“Sutherland.” He looks at his swelling classroom. “Not now.”
“But…”
“Not. Now.”
My heart slumps along with my shoulders, and I cover my fist with my other palm. Nervous energy is taking me over. I am so not ready for this to go down – especially without talking to Moore first.
“Your lunch hour,” I hear behind me as I’m walking out his door. Turning around to make sure he is talking to me, I see that he is. “If you need help with the assignment,” he continues, “come during your lunch hour. I have a free period then.”
My tension settles a little and I crack a half smile. “Thanks.”
As usual, Honor is the first at our lunch table, so I sit next to her and kiss her on the cheek.
“Hey, Storm,” she smiles. “I was just thinking about you.”
“You were?” My heart wants to warm to this fact, but the empty pit in the bottom of my stomach is overriding any good sensations I’m feeling.
“Yeah. I was just…thinking about waking up with you this morning.” Her cheeks turn that rosy shade of pink I love so much.
“That was nice, wasn’t it?” I say, but hardly feeling the sentiment. My palms sweat so much I need to wipe them on my jeans. “Listen, Honor. I just came to tell you that I’ll be in with Moore this period.”
She looks at me with big questioning eyes.
“It…uh…appears he’s meeting with his brother this afternoon. I need Ethan with me, and Tom and the boys too, so I’m going to ask Tamlin to go straight home with you…”
“Hell no, Storm.” She cuts me off. “There’s no way you’re leaving me out of this. No freaking way.”
“Honor,” I say with as much sternness as I can to get this across to her. “There is no way I am putting you right in the line of fire. No flippin’ way. Now, you’ll go home with Tamlin like I said, and you’ll lock the door behind you and stay put.”
I shake my head and don’t give her a chance to respond. Turning and walking away, I head for Moore’s room.
“Sutherland, sit down.” Moore puts his pen down and leans back in his chair.
“No. Why today?”
His shoulders drop in exasperation. “My brother gave me no choice. He said if I have the girl’s blood, he wants it immediately.” He looks down momentarily, and I get that sick to my stomach feeling that there’s more to it. “But he already warned me that a pint or so will not suffice. He wants all of it.”
“All of it? Honor’s blood? No fucking way. You’re crazy, Moore.”
“Sutherland, calm down. I have no intention of draining her dry. I like Honor. I wouldn’t do that. But…she should be there with us.”
“No way. I’m not putting her in danger. No.”
“I promised him.” Moore informs me.
“Sorry, but no. I don’t even trust you yet. For all I know, this was your plan with your brother all along. No. She stays put.” I make a mental note to tell Tamlin to take Honor to Tamlin’s house, not Honor’s house. She’d be too easy to find at home. “You’ll have to come up with something else.”
“Fine. We still have to meet today. He agreed with the reservation though.”
“Fine. Right after school?”
“Yeah. I told my students that I wouldn’t be here for afterschool help today. So meet me there then.”
“Yeah. I’ll make a few calls then I’m going over now.”
“Now?”
“You don’t think I’m going with no plan do you? I need to set up. So if you can cover for us Sutherland boys for skipping classes this afternoon, I
’d appreciate it.”
“Yeah. Sure. Death in the family or something like that,” he quips while handing me several blue passes that will excuse us for the afternoon.
“Somethin’ like that.” My feet aren’t even out the door when I send a group text to my brothers to meet me at Ethan’s car in five minutes, I quick call Uncle Tom, then I send a short text to Tamlin about taking care of Honor this afternoon.
After stopping at my car to retrieve the gun and bullets I fortunately put in my glove box this morning, I meet the guys by Ethan’s car.
“What’s going on? We’re meeting today?” Eli asks.
“Yeah. And I don’t want my car there. Asa knows it, it wouldn’t look good.”
“And you don’t think he knows mine?” Ethan asks.
“Well, at least it’s less conspicuous.” I say, grabbing shotgun while Eli and Hunter take the back seat. Then I have a thought. “Ethan, park by the old ski area.”
“Why?”
“It’s a longer trek, but no one will see us walk through the woods to the reservation. I’ll text Tom to meet us there too. Then…I think one or two of you should ride to Saffin Pond with Tom and enter that way. Just try to stay out of sight.”
Ethan tsks. “What makes you sure they won’t be looking for all of us?”
“I’m not sure. You got a better plan?”
“No.”
“Park here.” There’s a private parking area set off to the back of the lot. “I’m going to head in by myself, you guys wait for Tom, then Ethan, you follow my path.” Before heading up through the woods, I remind them to keep in close contact via our phones. “And set them to vibrate. We don’t need anyone hearing us.”
On my way up the trail, I say a silent prayer that Honor remains safe through all this. Then I say a selfish prayer asking that if I come out of here alive today, she’ll choose me after our break. I make the sign of the cross then pat my pockets. My gun and extra bullets are all safe and secure.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Adrenaline flows rapidly through my body, causing my heart to feel like it’s going to flee from my chest at any moment. Honor’s life depends on this mission, and I’m doubting myself – not a good sign. Where there’s doubt, there’s room for error.
A Man of Honor (A Young Adult Paranormal Romance) (The Honor Trilogy) Page 14
