by Kiki Leach
"I know--"
"And then I see you here and I have no right to tell you to get the hell out because it isn't my place to do that, just as much as this isn't my house. But I can and will tell you to get the hell out of my face."
"No," she told me.
I guffawed. "No?" She remained silent. I sat down my plate and glass on the edge of the food table and folded my arms. "What the hell is it that you have to say to me?"
She gulped. "I want to tell you that I'm sorry."
"That's rich--"
"Please," she interjected. She stopped and deeply exhaled. "Please." As I stared into her eyes, I noticed the whites turning red. This woman was either being truly sincere for maybe the first time in her entire adult life, or she was the best actress worthy of both the Oscar nomination and win. "What happened with Jeremiah that night wasn't planned."
"Maybe not by you, but it was obvious that he was looking to screw someone that night and for whatever reason was hellbent on me seeing it. Otherwise he would've taken it straight to his house and not brought a single drop of it into mine."
She swallowed hard and muttered, "Like I said before, I'm sorry."
"Whatever," I told her, unable to hide just how pissed off I was becoming. "The fact of the matter is that I'm over what you did. What I can't get past is that as a woman, dick was more important to you than the thought of actually backstabbing a potential ally."
She swallowed hard again and slightly bobbed her head. "I know that I fucked up that night, okay? Gravely."
"I get the feeling that you have to give apologies like this to a lot of women which is why it's starting to sound so rehearsed."
"I don't have to give out as many as you might think," she snapped. "And as much as you might continue to believe about me as a woman, I'm not exactly proud of myself for the things that I do, especially when it comes to something like this."
"Proud? God, I would hope not considering that in this case you sought out an unavailable man and had open sex with him without a single care about anyone else's feelings but your own."
"Colette--"
"But I guess if you got satisfied, me suffering from having to see it didn't matter all that much to you, right?"
"Are you suffering?" She lifted her head and wiped a fallen tear from her face. "Really?"
"What?"
"Are you really suffering?" she asked me. "Because the truth is that in less than twenty-four hours of busting up with Jeremiah, you headed out to Vegas and married his brother. And given how much older and better looking Roman's has always been, and I could only imagine incredibly gifted in the sack, I want to know, are you really suffering from all this? From what I did to you? From what Jeremiah did to you? Because from the outside looking in, it's as if we just set you both free."
"Oh my God." I looked away from her and laughed if only to keep from completely scratching her eyes out. "You're standing here and honestly trying to turn what you did to me into something positive? Having sex with my boyfriend inside of my house and bed freed me from the burden of, what? Staying with him for longer than I needed?"
She raised her hands again and stepped back. "I didn't say all of that this time. That was you."
I narrowed my eyes and wrinkled my nose while staring up at her. "You didn't free me from anything," I said.
"Maybe not intentionally," she replied. "And maybe when it comes down to it, the facts of the matter are that you freed yourself. Because let's be honest with each other; you never loved Jeremiah all that much in the first place. At least not in the same way that you love Roman."
"Where the hell do you get off?" I snapped. "You don't have any idea what my relationship was like with Jeremiah."
"Not entirely, but I know from experience that the only reason someone would choose to stay married to another person who proposed to them while in Vegas isn't doing it out of some strange obligation for themselves." She paused. "Jeremiah saw it too."
"What?"
"He once told me that he had a feeling something might have been up between you two."
"That's bullshit."
"It isn't," she said. "I used to see the way that you two would look at each other when I'd visit the club. Just from the way you would talk and stand so close while within the same space; not to mention how he often stared at you when you weren't looking, and how you often stared at him when he was talking to another woman, one he more than likely was never going to sleep with anyway." She bent her head to the side and arched the corner of her mouth. "Most of us saw it but never said anything given--"
"That it wasn't your place?" I interjected.
She nodded. "I realized what he felt for you was deeper than most a few months back after trying like hell to get him to take me home one night after one of those parties." She stopped. "But he wouldn't leave, I don't think until you were gone."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because from where I was standing, I could see that he was so busy watching you that even with my tits practically hanging in his face, it didn't matter."
I stared at her for a long time, then frowned. Part of me was happy in hearing all of this, in knowing just how deeply I affected Roman and for how long. While the other part of me wanted this woman to just shut the hell up already about how she tried getting him into bed.
"Why are you telling me all of this?" I finally asked her.
"Roundabout way of offering you an extended apology."
"Or just a flat-out way of telling me that I don't actually need one because of how I've always felt about Roman and vice/versa."
"None of what I said was meant to come out in that way," she replied. "Colette, I respect you as Roman's wife. And not just because I'm technically obligated to now, but because I honestly think that you deserve it. And not just from me, but from everyone else within the club."
I rested my hands at my sides while begrudgingly muttering, "I appreciate what you're saying to me. It means something when you didn't have to say anything at all." She smiled. "But. And I want to make this clear; what you did isn't something that I'm just going to be able to sweep underneath the rug and forget about. It’s going to take a long, long time for me to move past and ever trust you with anything, ever.”
She nodded. "I understand."
"Good. I won't try and deck you or anything for it, but if I ever catch you even looking in Roman's direction like you would a piece of meat, I'm karate chopping your ass to the ground."
"Fair enough."
"I think that's more than fair." I grabbed my plate and drink from the table and shuffled around her. "Oh, and by the way? You said that you could 'only imagine' that he was incredibly gifted." She stared. "Close your eyes and picture Mount Everest inside your head," I told her. "Do you see it?" She quickly bobbed her head. "Well imagine trying to climb that thing. And then think bigger." Her eyes popped open and when I saw the green in them nearly turning black, I knew that I had just sucker punched her ego.
Chapter Seventeen
Colette
After having a few more plates of delicious food (mostly ribs and turkey with a side of veggies and fruit) and gulping back binge worthy mimosas while listening to hours and hours of 'old lady' gossip, most of which included the other wives within various clubs around the area, I was about ready for Perla to drive me home, anxious as hell to spend some reclined quality time with Roman before the night was over. I gave all the girls except for Cherry, who seemed pretty pissed at my Mount Everest joke (probably because she knew that I wasn't kidding), a goodbye hug, promising to see them again soon, then loaded up a plate to take home for Roman since I wasn't that much in the mood for cooking him dinner, and hopped back into Perla's truck.
The ride back was nice and somewhat quiet, though we chatted back and forth a few times about the girls and how much we all seemed to enjoy each other's company. When we finally pulled into the driveway, I was completely flabbergasted to see my car sitting to the left of Roman's bike. It looked slightly tric
ked out with a set of new rims along with a full set of brand new tires and tinted windows. "Wow."
"I guess he finally got the memo in realizing that you weren't going anywhere anytime soon, hm?" asked Perla. She looked over at me and winked.
"Did you know that he was bringing the car back tonight?"
She rattled her head. "No idea. But I assume that he either came to his senses or Riggs told him to remove it from the lot since it wasn't broken down. Either way, you've got a piece of your freedom. Use it wisely."
"Thanks," I told her. "And not just for the ride or from picking me up from work earlier, but for everything else in between that you've done for me today; introducing me to the girls and allowing me to have my peace with Cherry."
She nodded. "I figured that you might need that. Like I said, most of us have been there with her and after this, I have no doubt that she's learned her lesson with you too. You come off with a slight 'don't fuck with me attitude' that's hidden behind a smile. I like that," she said. "I envy it. And in fact, I think I might start using myself in that way from here on out."
"You come off with the same kind of attitude," I said.
"Sometimes I like to think so, but oftentimes, darlin', I'm not so sure." She smiled at me, then extended her arm and leaned in to wrap it around my back for a hug. I squeezed her tight because even though she was so much older than me in age, everything about her personality just screamed young. I could only hope to be the same someday. "You take care of yourself until the next time I see you," she said, pulling away from me. "And take care of him too. Something tells me that he's going to need it more than the others."
"I will. Thanks." I grabbed my purse, teacher's bag and Roman's plate, then quickly hopped out of her car and headed up the porch. After searching for and finding my keys, I opened the front door and gave Perla a quick wave to let her know that I was safe and inside. Once she backed out of the driveway and pulled off, I closed the door behind me and tossed everything but the plate to the side and headed into the kitchen where I found Roman leaning over a pot on top of the stove. He looked as good as he did this morning, maybe even better. "Hey," I called out to him. When he turned his head to stare at me, I gulped. How the hell this man was so often able to take my breath away just from a single look in his eyes was almost astounding.
He pointed down at the plate in my hand, then turned his entire body toward me and jerked his chin. "You brought home a doggy bag?" he asked, his voice so low and devastatingly delicious.
I released a shaky breath, then swallowed hard and rolled my tongue between my lips to hold back a grin. "It's a doggy plate," I corrected. "She didn't have any bags available, so I left the bones for you underneath this napkin." He snickered and wagged his head and pressed the 'OFF' button for the stove. "Were you actually planning to cook something for yourself tonight?"
"Yeah, and maybe you too just in case Perla decided not to feed you out there. Wouldn't have been much though since damn near everything's frozen." He nodded. "What's on the plate?"
"Well..." I lifted my hand and smirked. "Why don't you just come over here and see for yourself." He lowered his eyes down the length of my body and as his lids hooded, I suddenly felt like dinner, dessert and breakfast the next day for him as opposed to what I was holding on that plate. When he finally made his way over to me, I dropped back against the fridge and rolled my bottom lip between my teeth. He brought his hand to my face and dragged his thumb along the edge of my lip, then tugged at it a few times until I opened my mouth for him. My breathing instantly became shallow. My fingers and toes went numb. My sex was aching for the taste of his cock.
When he lifted my chin, and pressed his body against mine, I reached up with my free hand and tugged at the center of his shirt, pulling him even closer to me. Because God in heaven, no matter how hard I tried to keep myself in check, I still could never manage be close enough to this man.
"How was school?" he asked in a much darker voice now while shoving his knee between my legs, forcing me to spread them apart. Something about the way he said it sounded so completely dirty and wrong but at the same time, it was so sexy and I was so turned on by him that I didn't care.
"It was fine," I breathed, unsure if I had even said the right thing.
He brought his other hand up to my face and lifted my jaw even higher, and pressed his forehead against mine. "Everybody knows who the hell you belong to now, yeah?"
"They know I'm yours, Roman," I said, my voice quiet as I could hardly find the strength to even breathe anymore. "They'll know I'll always be yours. Always."
"Good." His full lips split into a wide grin and then he kissed me, slow and deep, and that's when I dropped the plate directly to the floor. I gasped in reaction to it as his lips continued to cover and massage mine; but he didn't flinch and in fact drove his tongue even deeper, shoving it so hard against mine that I nearly came. My sex muscles twitched like crazy, desperate to know the feel of him against me again; on top of me, naked and deep inside me just as much as his tongue.
I rested both my hands against his chest as he moved his hands into my hair, then slowly dragged them down the front of his shirt before easing them around the back and dropping straight down to his ass. This man had a wonderful ass, so full and perfect but firm. When I squeezed him, he grunted and shoved himself even harder against me. That was like a signal boost for me and after bringing my hands down to my skirt and hiking it up as high as it would go, I lifted one of my legs from the floor and wrapped it around his waist. When his length pressed against my sex through my panties, I grinded against it with such an urgency that if he didn't unleash inside me soon, I was going to lose my mind more than I had already.
He moved his hands to my breasts, giving them a light, then hard squeeze through my blouse. I whimpered against his tongue, "Please take me," sounding so completely breathless and desperate that if I didn't love this man with every bit of who I am, would've absolutely mortified the hell out of me. "Roman..." He ignored me and began unbuttoning my blouse with an ease and quickness that I had never seen. As he slid it down my arms, I lowered them for half a second, allowing it to fall to the floor, then snaked my arms around his neck and continued grinding against him, lessoning my pace but making sure that he could feel me with each hard push of my pelvis.
After a short streak of silence, he mumbled something about removing his own shirt. We stopped kissing only temporarily to pull it over his head, then went right back to it and with much more need this time. Two seconds later my feet were off the ground as he had lifted me up into his arms. My legs situated around his waist, and as he moved us into the living room, he stopped directly in front of the nearest couch and slowly lowered me down on my back. Then stood up straight to his feet. I draped one leg over the arm of the couch and dangled my foot while staring up at him. The man looked like a god and every part of him belonged to every part of me and always would; even if I never knew much about my life or anything else, I knew that. When he tugged at his jeans, I peeked down at the bulge of his penis pressing against the fabric and sat up. I reached out and started tugging at them myself. He moved closer to me and grunted, then slid his hand beneath my chin and lifted my head back.
"I love everything about you," he said. "Every goddamn thing and I always will, Colette."
I smiled up at him and as he brushed his thumb back and forth across my mouth, I replied, "I know." He grinned. "You loved me enough to finally bring my car back."
"Yeah," he muttered with a quiet chuckle.
"You were still afraid that I would leave?" I asked him. "That I would still change my mind about us being married and want out?"
I saw his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed hard and grit his teeth. Then he nodded. "Yeah."
"No one's ever loved me like this before, Roman. It's almost obsessive and controlling and crazy but exciting to the point that it should scare the absolute shit out of me, but it doesn't. I think about you and I can't even breathe -- I
see you and I feel like fainting." I stopped to swallow while continuing to look up at him. "You touch me and every part of me suddenly feels warm and soft. And I can never get enough of you... get enough of this." He lowered his hand to my throat and lightly pressed his fingers into my skin.
"Babe, everything I've ever felt for you..." He circled his thumb near my pulse. "The shit does scare me. That's not something I ever wanted to admit aloud; felt like it made me sound like some kind of weak assed motherfucker."
"It doesn't," I told him. "This thing between us is so strong and always has been... and I never realized it. Never knew that other people saw it too, that they could feel it just as much as we did and still do."
"What other people, darlin'?"
"Cherry," I said. "She was at Perla's when we showed up."
He exhaled deeply and gulped. "How'd that shit go?"
"It was okay," I said. "I got to tell her how I felt about everything."
"You made peace with her?"
"Not exactly. I just promised that I would remain civil. As much as I can, anyway." He brought his other hand up to my face and I frowned in noticing something I hadn't seen on his knuckles before: light purple bruising. "Oh my God." I yanked his hand away from my face and held it inside my own. "What the hell happened to you?"
He looked down at it and glowered. "It's nothin'."
"It doesn't look like nothing to me -- what the hell did you do? Punch the door on a car that you couldn't fix?"
He sighed. "Babe." And I could tell by his tone, which had become annoyed, that he wanted me to just drop it so that we could go back to what we were doing before. But I couldn't.
Instead I fell back against the couch and crossed my arms. "What the hell happened to your hand today, Roman?"
"Jesus Christ." He turned from me and moved across the room. "Shit like this can't concern you, babe."
