by Doctor MC
And yet Virgilia’s feeling for Marvin and for Paula were each unchanged.
Virgilia stopped on the stairs. She turned around, to climb the stairs again. Once Virgilia’s feet were on the rug, she turned and began sashaying toward Paula Sarin, a bedroom smile on her face.
Virgilia said, “Oh Paula, you are so pretty, you are so hot, I want to give you money. My fingers are yours for your pleasure, my mouth is—”
By now, Virgilia was two feet away from Paula and closing, with her hands out at chest height. Anyone watching Virgilia would think she planned to hug Paula.
“—yours for your pleasure, I serve—”
Both of Virgilia’s hands swerved to grab Paula’s left forearm and twist it. Surprised, Paula bent sideways right, in order to lessen the sudden pain. Virgilia made a fist and hammered on the lamp that Paula was still holding; Virgilia knocked the lamp free of Paula’s pain-loosened grip.
Then Virgilia dropped to the floor to capture the lamp.
Virgilia’s hands closed on the lamp.
Virgilia heard a quiet click. A trigger safety being released?
FOOM. Fatima now was standing to the left of Virgilia, who was still on her knees.
Looking up, Virgilia saw that Paula was holding her pistol in a teacup grip, and the gun was aimed at Virgilia’s chest that was only two feet away.
“Cute trick,” Paula said. “Now give it back.”
Fatima said, “Murderer, if you pull the trigger, I’ll hand you the hot lead slug with my name already carved on it. Then I’ll send you to the North Pole. Naked.”
For fifteen seconds, nobody moved and nobody spoke.
As Paula lowered her weapon, she glared at Virgilia. “So much for not stealing.” Then Paula glared at Fatima. “And so much for protective genies. That’s twice tonight I’ve been hurt.”
Fatima shrugged. “Two of King Solomon’s rules conflicted, so I got a choice. Next time, don’t piss me off.”
Virgilia gave a smile of fake sympathy to Paula. “I happily steal from thieves. I’m sorry, did I forget to mention that?”
“How did you beat Fatima’s spell?” Paula said. “Why aren’t you my slave?”
“Quote, I don’t have to tell you shit, unquote. Fatima, don’t tell her.”
Fatima said, “I wasn’t planning to, Master. Let her wonder.”
Virgilia looked at the burned corpse(?) of Marvin on the floor, then looked into Paula Sarin’s eyes. “You’re despicable,” Virgilia told Paula.
Then Virgilia said, “Fatima, what’s this about magical requests? You can do magic for me and it doesn’t count as a wish?”
Fatima explained the rules. Then Virgilia said, “How about you paralyze Paula while I’m holding the lamp. Change that, make it only below the neck. It’s okay if she talks.”
“Certainly, Master, no problem,” Fatima said with exaggerated cheeriness. Paula frowned, probably because this was right after Fatima had refused Paula’s one magical request.
Fatima’s gestures surrounded Paula with glowing green bands, from toes to shoulders, and from Paula’s right elbow to her pistol-gripping right hand. To Virgilia, Paula looked like she was wrapped in a green neon cocoon.
Virgilia nodded with satisfaction. Then she said, “Fatima, I’m ready to wish.”
“Do you want to hear the rules beforehand?”
“Yes, and I know I’ll have questions. I request that you take us someplace private.”
Virgilia’s ears popped, and then she found herself with Fatima in Marvin’s bedroom. Less than five minutes later, both Virgilia and Fatima were laughing in scorn at Paula Sarin.
But the big, giant question on Virgilia’s mind (So Marvin is alive, right? You DID pull a trick on Paula, right?), Virgilia couldn’t bring herself to ask Fatima.
Instead, Virgilia said, “Fatima, I’m ready to go back. Same spot in the hallway.”
Seconds later in the bright hallway, Virgilia was saying, “I wish I was free of all enthrallment, whether by Warren, Marvin, or her.” Virgilia pointed at Cocoon Woman. “Can I include my being free of future enthrallment too?”
“No, sorry,” Fatima said. “But after I grant your wish, your mind will be magically marked. Which means that in the future, unless someone makes a wish to enslave you by name, you can never be mind-controlled ever again.”
“Cool,” Virgilia said.
Paula spit on the rug. “You better hope I never get my hands on that lamp again, Blondie. I’ll make you as brainless as you appear to be, and tonguing my asshole daily.”
But meanwhile, Fatima had made a green-lightning ball between her hands. The lightning-ball flew through the air and hit Virgilia in the chest.
Virgilia felt all her compulsions toward Marvin vanish, and the parts of her brain that were stupid about Marvin got smart again. For the first time in a week and a half, she could think of Marvin Harper as an ordinary man.
Virgilia could think of Marvin so, but she didn’t. She remembered that Marvin had risked his life to rescue hookers he didn’t know, and he’d risked his life to rescue children he didn’t know from a burning house. Virgilia’s de-magicked brain decided that Marvin was just as wonderful a man as her magicked brain had thought he was.
“What do you know?” Virgilia said to Fatima. “My opinion of Marvin hasn’t changed any.”
“One wish made, one wish granted,” Fatima said, smiling. “What is your second wish, Master?”
“Right now, I have fake blond hair, fake big lips, and fake humongous boobs. I wish that I look the same, but now all these things are real—are me.”
“Vain much?” Paula said. “You’re using up a wish to look like a porn star. Stupid.”
Again, Fatima magically smacked Virgilia with a green-lightning ball. Virgilia’s boobs immediately felt different.
Fatima said, “One wish made, one wish granted. The next time that you get your hair wet, Master, you’ll see that your hair isn’t dyed-blond anymore. Are you ready for your third wish?”
“World peace, is that okay?”
Fatima shook her head. “Sorry, Master, King Solomon strikes again.”
“In that case, I waive my third wish, I give it up, pass on it, I decline it. I relinquish, forgo, and disclaim my third wish.”
“What?” said Paula. “Are you an idiot?”
Virgilia smiled at Paula. “I spent two years living with a man who got three wishes, and he was miserable and lonely. Whereas I’m happy and I have friends; what more do I need to wish for? Too bad you’ll never understand.”
Fatima said, “Master, are you sure? I’ll give you fifteen seconds to change your mind.” Sometime later, after Virgilia had stayed silent, Fatima sighed. “Two wishes made, two wishes granted.”
Paula said, “Good, now I don’t have to listen to Fatima’s smart mouth anymore. Back into your lamp, girl.”
During this time, Virgilia had been walking toward Marvin’s corpse(?), with lamp in hand. As she got closer, the reek of burned pork got stronger, and now she could see cracks in the burned(?) and naked flesh. Only a few weak tendrils of smoke still rose from the body.
Paula called after Virgilia, “You should’ve thought of Marvin before you gave up your third wish. I told you you’re stupid.”
Virgilia didn’t reply. Instead her right hand reached down, coming closer to forest-green charred flesh atop a shoulder blade.
Jeez, for a thousand different reasons, I hope I’m not wrong about this, she thought.
Virgilia touched that loathsome, burned flesh—
—and the burned-pork smell stopped. There on the floor lay Marvin, healthy and fully clothed.
Marvin lifted his head and looked at Virgilia. “Sorry, guess I fell asleep after you grabbed the lamp. I miss anything important?”
“What the fuck?” said Paula.
Fatima told her, “When you wished for me to kill Marvin, you forfeited that wish and the third wish after it. But rather than refuse to grant your wishes, I pretended to
grant them, trusting you to get careless. That’s how Virgilia played you.”
Marvin said, “Wasn’t that an impressive death scene? Next time you see George Lucas, thank him.”
Virgilia shook her head, confused. “How does George Lucas fit in?”
“His 3-D CGI effects. What you saw, that’s how Malmajj killed the king at the beginning of Rubert’s Village.”
Fatima sniffed. “Except his fireballs were blue. I don’t do blue.”
“You tricked me!” Paula said. “I was your master, and you tricked me!”
Fatima shrugged, then said, “If you’d bothered to listen to the rules, either from Jerngert or from me, this little trick wouldn’t have worked so well. Or if you’d asked me, ‘Did what I just see really happen?’—then I would’ve had to tell you the truth.”
Virgilia smiled, then turned back to Marvin. “Did you miss anything important? Let’s see, I made my wishes. I’ll tell you about them later.”
Then Virgilia lowered her voice. “I came here to give you the lamp. But the second I let go of it, Paula Sarin will try to shoot you. If I request Fatima to save you, will she do it?”
Marvin quietly replied, “Then don’t hand it to me. Put it on the rug, then step back fast.”
“But what about Fatima? Shouldn’t I—?”
“Trust me. I have a plan.”
Marvin turned his eyes from Virgilia to his green-cocooned enemy. “Want my wishing lamp, Paula? Here it is, come get it.” Then he nodded to Virgilia, who reluctantly bent down to put the lamp on the hallway rug.
Marvin was still lying on the rug on his stomach, his long arms still out in front of him. Even as Virgilia was moving the lamp down toward the rug, Marvin’s hands were moving away from each other, toward the edges of the rug. Then Virgilia let go of the lamp.
Virgilia saw things happen fast then—
• The glowing green bands around Paula disappeared. The pistol, which had been pointing at the floor during Paula’s paralysis, came up.
• Marvin’s hands grabbed the edges of the rug. Marvin yanked, even as Paula fired.
• To Marvin’s left, a decorative post at the top of the stairs made a metallic Dink! sound. Even as a doorknob to Virgilia’s right made its own Dink! sound.
• Paula exclaimed, “URK!”
Paula Sarin had had the rug literally pulled out from under her, so she had fallen down. But oddly, she was staying down.
That’s when Marvin reached around for the lamp, took hold of it, and rubbed it, all with leisurely slowness.
FOOM. Now Fatima was standing by Marvin, who still was lying on the rug.
“Master,” Fatima exclaimed, “I’m reset! You get three more wishes!”
“Not fair,” Virgilia heard Paula say.
As Marvin finally pushed himself up, he calmly said, “Fatima, that’s good news. But right now, please send whatever weapons that Paula Sarin has, inside the crater of Mount Kilauea.”
Foom. Paula’s pistol disappeared in a flash of green light.
Marvin held out his hand. “Give me her cel phone, please.” Foom. Marvin stuck Paula’s cel phone in a pocket.
Meanwhile, Virgilia was sure she was missing something. Marvin had just been shot at! Okay, so he’d been lucky and survived the shooting—still, he should have been babbling from fear. But no, he was acting as calm as if he were reading the Sunday paper.
Once Marvin was standing, he reached a hand out to Virgilia. “Come, let’s see how Paula is doing. I do believe she’s fallen and she can’t get up.”
Virgilia gasped when she got close to Paula Sarin. Paula had both hands on her stomach, trying to stanch the bleeding from a gunshot wound.
“I’m going to die,” Paula gasped. “Help me.”
Marvin shook his head. “You know, Paula, I was never worried about my life. Fatima told me that my fated death wasn’t till 2020 or later, so I wasn’t worried about you killing me. But I got worried that you might kill someone in my harem.”
“Shouldn’t we be doing something?” Virgilia asked. “Call an ambulance?”
Marvin said, “Trust me, it wouldn’t help her. Anyway, Paula, yesterday I asked Fatima if any of my housemates has her fated death within the next six months. Fatima had to really work her scrying ball, because I have lots of women here. But eventually Fatima said, ‘No, none of them die within the next six months.’ ”
Virgilia said, “Marvin, I haven’t known you long, but you’ve never struck me as cruel.”
“This isn’t cruelty. Paula tried to kill me twice, remember. And she did kill Jerngert.”
“Who’s Jerngert?”
Fatima glared at supine Paula. “Jerngert was another bound djinni, and my best friend. This one was Jerngert’s master.”
Marvin continued, “Anyway, Paula, it made me feel good to know that you wouldn’t kill anyone in my harem. Then I asked Fatima to find out if your fated death was within the next six months. Soon Fatima said yes. And while I don’t think I’m a bloodthirsty man, I have to admit that learning you would die soon—well, it made me smile.”
Virgilia asked, “Shouldn’t we at least try to make her last minutes comfortable?”
“I don’t have any painkillers,” Marvin replied. He looked a question at Fatima.
Fatima shook her head hard. “Master, I’ve never refused one of your requests. But easing the pain of Jerngert’s murderer? No way.”
Marvin looked at Paula, then shrugged. “Anyway, Paula, I then asked Fatima when the date of your fated death was, and she told me, ‘May 20th.’ Which is good news in a way: Theoretically you could live till midnight.”
Paula said, “You’ll call an ... ambulance if you ... know what’s good ... for you. People ... know I’m here.”
Marvin asked Fatima, “Who does know she’s here?” He frowned. “Besides Elvira.”
A volleyball-sized glass ball popped into existence in front of Fatima’s face, and stayed floating there. Fatima gestured, and Virgilia saw images appear and disappear in the glass ball.
A few minutes later, Fatima vanished the glass ball and looked at Marvin. “Besides Virgilia here, and Elvira, only Paula’s personal assistant Sheila Johansson knows that Paula Sarin is in your house. Besides your parents, only Vincent Carlino and John Clement know that Paula is in this city—they’re the pilots who flew Paula and Sheila here from Anchorage.”
“Nobody else knows?” Marvin said. “Doesn’t Paula have a husband?”
“Paula’s husband Ted, her daughter Crystal, and her Chief of Staff Bert—none of them have a clue. Sheila Johansson doesn’t have a roommate, and she told nothing to her boyfriend.”
Marvin laughed. “Paula, obviously you planned to whack me and nobody would pin the murder on you. But now your own secrecy will bite you in the ass.”
Then Marvin turned to Fatima. “It’s wishing time. Wish Seven: I wish that—”
“Wish Seven?” Paula gasped.
“—Paula Sarin’s Suggestion power be canceled, and all of her minions be freed from her ensnarement, so that I then can make them thralls of mine when I choose—”
“NO-O-O!” Paula yelled.
“—Except I want my parents to still be immune to my magical charms.”
Fatima’s smile at Paula Sarin was cruel. Fatima made another exploding semitransparent green ball, then flashed Paula another fuck you smile. Then the genie told Marvin, “One wish made, one wish granted.”
Paula had tears running down her pale face.
Marvin nodded, then said, “Wish Eight: Of the people who have interacted with Paula Sarin since Sunday, I wish for everyone’s memories to be altered, and physical evidence altered, so that no investigation of Paula Sarin’s disappearance can connect her to me, or even to my city. The only exceptions to this memory alteration are to be myself, my parents, Virgilia O’Keefe, Elvira LeClerc, and Sheila Johansson. As for Paula Sarin, I want her to forget how she came to my mansion, or where in the world my mansion is. However, Paula is to ot
herwise remember everything about killing her genie Jerngert.”
Fatima made her third exploding semitransparent green ball of the night. Then the wounded senator looked at the genie. “I’ve ... forgotten things,” Paula said.
“Yes, you have,” Fatima replied.
Then Fatima turned to Marvin. “A certain airplane, and its pilot and copilot, all are back in Anchorage. Those two men now have false memories. Various computer records and video recordings have been altered. All the women in bed here are back asleep, with no memories of anything they heard in the past hour. One wish made, one wish granted.”
Marvin looked at Paula. “Now you’re stranded here. And you don’t even know where ‘here’ is, do you?”
Paula shook her head. She looked scared.
Marvin said, “Wish Nine: I wish that you postpone Paula’s fated death by 120 lunar cycles, by giving her the healing powers of Prometheus for 120 lunar cycles. This is a selfish wish.”
“What?” Virgilia exclaimed. “Are you a batty, bonkers, brain-boiled bedlamite? You’ll let Paula Sarin, who just tried to whack you twice, live and be healthy?”
Virgilia looked at Fatima, to find out the genie's reaction. Fatima wasn’t speaking words, but her face spoke volumes.
Marvin said, “Fatima, grant the wish and then I’ll explain.”
Scowling Fatima granted the wish. Then she said to Marvin, with gritted teeth, “One wish made, one wish granted, Master.”
Marvin said, “Fatima, please don’t be angry with me. Instead, please find Sigvard, tell him what’s happened, and invite him here.”
Virgilia didn’t know who Sigvard was, but she saw that mentioning him turned Fatima’s frown into a smile.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, Master,” Fatima said. “Count on it.” FOOM.
By now Paula Sarin was standing. She took one wobbly step, and then one strong step, and then she was standing in front of Marvin. She looked like a healthy woman who’d stolen clothing from her zombie twin: Her top had a hole in it, that showed healthy skin; and her top and jeans both were drenched with still-wet blood.
