“I can’t. That was my shade in Weathersby. I can’t change other Breakers’ shades. I didn’t think anyone could.” She squeezed my hands tighter. “Just believe it.”
Dahlia and the others were walking closer. Around the myriad of beer boxes, I could see the dahlia pin at her throat. It made me shudder.
I closed my eyes.
We’re not here. No one’s here. She can’t see us, because there’s nothing to see.
I felt her energy all around me. It was strong, like a thousand jackhammers drilling against my brain. My body jerked. I could feel Owen’s hand making calming circles on my back. “Be strong,” he whispered.
So, I was.
With each step Dahlia made, her energy got stronger. Though my eyes were closed, I could see her; like we were connected somehow. I could feel her shade, notice the changes she was making in the world around her. She came to a stop just a few feet from the beer box pyramid. But I knew, feeling the way she manipulated the world around us, that it wasn’t the pyramid that was shielding us. It was me.
Her presence hurt. It physically hurt. Tears stung my eyes and started to pour down my face in hot streams.
“Is she okay?” Casper whispered. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t okay. Or, if I was, I didn’t feel okay. But I had to do this. We had come too far to stop now.
“Are you sure this is the place?” One of the Breakers asked Dahlia. He was short and stocky, but there was an air about him that made me think he knew what he was doing.
“I tracked her psychic signature here. She has to be here,” Dahlia answered.
“That’s what you said about that motel too,” the short man said.
“She was there!” Dahlia barked. “I’d bet my future on it.”
“Dahlia, I think you’re too close to this. Maybe you should let someone do this who isn’t so emotionally involved. “
“I am the best as what I do,” she answered. “If anyone is going to find her in time, it’ll be me. And of course, I’m emotionally involved in this. She’s the Bloodmoon. We should all be so involved.”
“I meant because she has your daughter,” the short man said.
Energy pulsed around me. My skull felt like it was going to crack wide open; like hot splinters were pricking at every inch of my body. I tried to focus on Owen’s hand on my back, on anything other than the pain. But it hurt so badly, and I was so tired.
“Come on,” Dahlia said after a long moment. “She isn’t here.”
Thank God. She’s leaving.
I felt the pressure of Dahlia’s presence let up just a little, and then, it was too much. I felt my body go limp with exhaustion. I felt Owen’s arms bracing me, holding me up. And then, there was nothing.
Seven. It was always seven.
***
I woke with a start. It took me a second to realize that I was in the back of the van, and another, more sickening second, to understand how much time had passed. I felt better. I felt rested, and that was not a good thing. The solstice was tomorrow; my sixteenth birthday, the day I was supposed to be cemented as the Bloodmoon. That meant we didn’t have much time; that if we didn’t make it to whatever God awful place Allister Leeman had my mother held, he was going to kill her. Now was not the time to be rested.
I felt something cool and wet on my forehead. When I reached for it, a hand slapped me.
“I’ll do it. You’ll be woozy for a while. That’s how it is after the first time.” Merrin took what I now realized was a cold compress and placed it on the floor beside me.
“The first time?” My voice was scratchy and hoarse.
“The first time you really flex your powers. It can be disorienting.”
“How long did I sleep?” I tried to sit up, but fell back down. She wasn’t kidding about the disorienting part.
“Four hours,” Merrin said, lifting a bottle of water to my mouth. “Here, drink this.”
“Four hours!” I said through choking coughs of water. “No, you should have waked me up. We don’t have time for this.” I tried to sit up again. This time, I didn’t have the chance to get dizzy. Merrin pushed me back down.
“You needed rest. We all did. Besides, we had taken your instructions as far as we could. We can’t go any further until the sun goes down.” She motioned to the window on the van’s back door. “Which won’t be long now.”
She was right. Without the stars to guide me, I’d pretty much be flying blind. Of course, that didn’t make it any easier.
“Well, what if Dahlia and the Breakers find us?” I asked.
“They won’t,” Merrin shook her head. “They’ve already been this way. They won’t circle back.”
“Because they’ll figure we’d have kept going,” I complained.
“Another reason we were right to stay. Now take another drink.” She came at me with the bottle again, but I grabbed it. Feeling a little better, I sat up slowly; letting the world spin and then settle. I pressed the bottle to my lips and took a drink.
“Thanks,” I said. Merrin didn’t answer. In fact, she didn’t even look at me. I could never tell about Merrin. She had come to Weathersby with Dahlia; seemingly convinced that I was the Bloodmoon. But she was here, helping me break the Breaker rules. It was an enigma. “I’m not what you think I am,” I said
“You’re not a girl who’s in love with my fiancÉ?”
The color drained from my face. I wasn’t sure what to say. I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn’t come.
“Let me be clear,” Merrin said flatly. “I don’t care about his time in Crestview. I’m sure that Owen has told you he loves you, and I’d even guess that part of him actually believes it. But that isn’t who he is. That’s not who we are. We were raised to put what’s best for our race, what’s best for the planet first. Sooner or later, Owen will remember that. Because deep down, he never really forget. And when that day comes, he’ll realize who he’s really meant to be with. And trust me Cresta, it won’t be some little girl who batted her eyes at him for a little while and made him forget who he was.”
She stood and turned to go. Anger rose in my throat and reddened my face. “Why are you even here?!” I asked as loudly as my hoarse voice would allow.
She stopped with her hand on the door handle, and spun around. “Not for you,” she said. “You have no idea how much Owen’s sacrificed for this, do you? The only way this isn’t a disaster for him, the only way his father ever speaks to him again, is if we do everything just right. I’m here to make sure that happens. But if it doesn’t-Well, a fixed point can only be changed one way, and for all his good points, Owen isn’t strong enough for that. He’d let the entire world go to hell trying to prove he was right, trying to prove that you’re worth it. If this entire thing falls apart, if you end up murdering someone and it turns out that you’re the Bloodmoon after all; I’ll kill you myself. That’s why I’m here.”
With that, she left.
***
Two minutes later, after I had gathered myself a little, I stepped out of the van to find two of the members of our party who hadn’t just promised to kill me, Casper and Wendy, surrounding a makeshift trashcan fire. We were in a rest area, though obviously not a popular one, as we seemed to be the only people there. The sun was setting, and I could feel the stars starting to pull at me again. Before long, I would be able to read them again, and hopefully find my mom. Truth be told, I couldn’t get going fast enough but, as I neared the others; noticing the cheeseburgers in their hands, the rumble in my stomach told me I needed to fuel up.
“What’s going on?” I asked, sitting next Casper. The heat of the fire felt good against my hands and face, and did a lot to make me feel steadier.
“Waiting for you, Van Winkle,” Casper said, and threw a wrapped cheeseburger at me. “No tomato, cause you think they’re gross.”
“They look like sliced up organs. They are gross,” I said, unwrapping it. It smelled like heaven and, when I took a bit, i
t tasted even better. “But I meant, what are you talking about?” Time was when I would have made it a point not to chew with a quarter pound of burger in my mouth, but I was exhausted, starving, and way too distracted to care right now.
“You know, I don’t have a clue,” Casper grinned and motioned to Wendy. “She sorta talks and I listen. It’s a system we’ve developed in the last couple hours.”
“Sounds like good practice,” I said, taking another bite of burger. “Especially given the future the Mrs. here has in store for you.
“Shut up,” he smiled. Brushing a few stray bangs out my eyes, he asked, “How ya feeling?”
“I’ll feel better in a couple hours,” I said.
“I know. It’ll be okay, Cress.” He put his arm around me and pulled me closer.
“Do not worry Cresta Karr,” Wendy looked at me with pale Seer’s eyes. “I do not feel threatened by your close, yet platonic, relationship with my future love. I understand that many girls would see your supportive, somewhat symbiotic, companionship as threatening. Rest easy, for I do not fall into that category.”
“I . . . I’m so relieved,” I said. Wendy smiled a sweet smile; the kind of smile usually reserved for really young children who don’t know how horribly unfair a place the world is.
But she must know. She sees it all; every awful, horrific thing that ever has or could happen.
Still, it was so sweet, so refreshing at a time like this, that I couldn’t help but smile back.
“You know, you could do a lot worse than her,” I looked up at Casper.
“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, and stood up. “I gotta go hit the head. Or something that’s more polite and gentlemanly,” he said, and walked away.
“It will be hard for him,” Wendy said when he was out of earshot. “It will be hard for everyone, but him particularly.” She folded her hands and looked deep into the fire. “When he yearns for you, do not turn him away.”
“He doesn’t yearn for me,” I scoffed. “It’s not like that with us.”
“And when he asks for me, tell him the truth.”
“You’re only gonna talk to me like that, aren’t you; like you’re a fortune cookie?” I was tired, and not up to whatever back and forth Wendy had planned for me.
“The future is a puzzle set on water. The pieces never sit still long enough to be placed together. When you touch it, it moves because you touched it. And when you refrain, it moves because you did not.”
“How much do you know,” I asked, standing.
“Both more and less than I would like,” she answered, standing herself. The fire flickered off her face, giving it the only glow I had even seen on it.
“But you knew Dahlia would find us at that store. You knew I’d have to do . . . whatever it is I did to save us.” It wasn’t a question, and she didn’t answer it as one.
“There are things you must do, places you must go. Otherwise, you will not be ready.”
“Ready for what?!” I asked more sharply than I intended.
“For what must be.”
“Are you saying that I’m the Bloodmoon?” My voice shook with the question.
“We all race toward fixed points, clinging to free will, to the myth that we have control over our lives. What must be will be; only the shape it takes lies within our grasp.”
“That’s enough of that!” Owen was behind me now; his hands rested on my shoulders. “They told me I was a fixed point too once, you know,” he glared at Wendy.
She looked back. The fire flickered in her white knowing eyes. “You still are.”
“Come on,” he pulled at me. ”Don’t listen to that.” We settled on a bench a couple hundred yards away from the van. We were far enough away from the fire that the crispness of the air cut through me. When I shivered, Owen took his jacket off and put it around my shoulders, along with his arms. “None of what she said matters,” he whispered into my ear. “You’re not that awful thing, and even if you were, fixed points can be changed. I’m supposed to be dead, remember?”
“Except I don’t have an angel to save me,” I lamented, nuzzling closer to him.
“Yes, you do. You have me,” he answered, and kissed the top of my head. “So don’t worry. It’s almost over. We’re going to get your mom. She’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna have this entire mess behind us, and then I’m going to take you out for the best birthday dinner ever.”
“And then what?” I asked more sharply than I meant to. “You gonna go back and marry Merrin, have a dozen little Breaker babies?”
I felt him tense under me. He didn’t deserve this. He had fought for me. Even up until now, he was with me. But I couldn’t help it. Merrin’s voice was swimming in my head, telling me all the reasons it wouldn’t work.
“Why would you say something like that?” Owen asked.
“Because it’s true, isn’t it?” I pulled away from him. “She’s your mate, right; your perfect? She’s who you’re supposed to be with.” I clutched at my throat, instinctively looking for my long gone necklace.
“And that’s fine”
It wasn’t.
“I mean, I get it.”
I didn’t.
“That’s the way you were raised. It’s who you are, but it isn’t who I am. Even if this all shakes out, I’m not ever going to be the type of girl who can marry someone just because our DNA syncs up, not even if that person was you. I’m sixteen, I’m not-“
“That’s who I was,” he interrupted me. “It’s not who I am anymore.”
“That’s what you say now, but what happens when you get back home, when you’re surrounded by your friends and family. They have expectations of you, Owen. I don’t wanna be the person who stops you from becoming who you want to be. I know about the calls; the ones to Merrin.”
He looked at me quizzically, with his dark eyebrows knitted together. “Oh, from when you had my phone,” he answered his own unasked question. “That wasn’t Merrin. Those were exercises; a series of tones meant to keep my mind sharp. I had been in rural Georgia for two years. I was trying to keep myself in practice.”
“You labeled it Merrin. You used her name,” I said flatly.
“I know this might be hard for you to understand Cresta, but for a long time, she was my whole world. It wasn’t that I was in love with her, or even that I knew what love was. But, when you grow up knowing that your entire future is going to rest on one person, they sort of become important to you.”
“I get that,” I answered, running fingers through my hair. “And if she’s still important to you, you should . . . you should just-“
“What part of ‘I’m in love with you’ didn’t you understand?” Owen asked curtly. “It doesn’t mean ‘I’m in love with you when the circumstances are right, or ‘I’m in love with you so long as my parents say it’s okay’. It means we’re in this together. It means I can’t breathe without you. It means that the only way this ends is with my hand in yours.”
He cupped my hand in his. I couldn’t help it; the strain of everything rushed onto me, and I started to sob harder than I ever had before; harder than when my dad died, harder than at his funeral, harder than when I woke up to find my house had exploded with my mother inside.
Owen rushed me, burying my head in his chest. I drank in the warmth of him, and cherished the way his heartbeat felt against me. I loved that heart.
“There’s a credo that we take whenever we’re given our Breaker names. It’s like a code. It runs down all the things we believe in, all the things that are important to us. When I was a boy, I used to practice it over and over again, and dream about the day I’d stand up, in front of my father and everybody else, and say those ancient words.”
“And now you won’t get to,” I said, looking up at him. “Because of me.”
“That’s the thing,” he said, smiling down at me. “I don’t care about it anymore. None of it matters. You’re all that matters. You’re my code now.”
Suddenly, I felt the
stars’ pull again. Looking around, I saw that the sun had set. It was night, and time to go. But something wasn’t right. The stars felt wrong somehow, like they were attacking me. A bloom of pain sprouted in my chest, and I jerked away from Owen.
“Something’s wrong!” I gasped.
“What is it?” He asked.
I looked up. The only star that was shining; the only one that pinged me, was the one right above us.
“It’s here,” I said breathlessly. The pain was growing by the second. “It’s here! It’s leading us here!”
“Cresta, calm down. I’m sure it’s a lot to take in. Just breathe and let the stars talk to you.”
But they were talking to me. They were screaming, and it was lighting a fire inside of my chest. “It doesn’t make any sense,” I said.
Then, Merrin came walking out from behind the van. Her face was pale and her steps were hurried and tense. Behind her, holding a gun to her back, was Ezra; the floating amputee.
“Does it make more sense now, Bloodmoon?” He grinned.
Owen stiffened beside me; his hands balling into fists. “Cresta, run,” he said through gritted teeth.
“That’s sort of redundant, old buddy,” Ezra grinned. Looking around, I saw how right he was. At least a dozen people had come; from the woods, from inside the rest area, from the air, it seemed. We were surrounded.
I caught Casper’s glance. He made a slight, almost imperceptible, nod of his head, and then struck off running. He wanted me to follow him, and maybe I would have, if his second and third steps hadn’t been taken in midair. One of the Breakers surrounding us, a heavyset man with black braided hair, lifted his hands. Casper lifted with them, leaving the ground. He moved his arms again, and Casper fell unconscious. His entire body went limp.
“Casper!” I screamed.
“He’s not going to hurt him, Bloodmoon. Not if you come with us.” Ezra dug the point of his pistol into Merrin’s back. She shuffled forward, but didn’t give him the satisfaction of whimpering.
“Or I could just beat you into submission,” Owen said.
“Not when I’ve this pretty little thing under my thumb,” Ezra leaned into Merrin and took a long, longing sniff of her hair.
PANDORA Page 24
