Running my hands through my hair, I sigh heavily as my shoulders slump. “I guess I didn’t realize how much it would hurt her. I’ve spent so much time knowing she doesn’t love me like I love her that I thought it would be easy for her to forget one kiss and move on, be safe. I never expected . . . this.”
Evie squeezes my hand softly. “I don’t think she realized how much she loved you until she saw you with Robin, either.” Her voice is sad. It adds to the weight in my heart. She looks up at where she estimates my head to be. “You need to explain to Olivia. This is killing her, thinking she’s lost you.”
“I’ve tried, but the second I start talking to her she runs or yells at me. I don’t want to drag you into the middle of this, Evie, but . . . could you try . . . I mean, just try to convince her that I still love her, and if she ever stops hating me long enough to listen, I’ll explain everything?”
“I’ll try,” Evie says, “but it may take a while.”
I cringe inwardly. Time isn’t something I have a lot of. If nothing else, I’ll sit on Olivia. I’ll force her to listen to me. I have to try.
But first, I need to deal with Robin. She is the worst liar I’ve ever met, and last night is not something I’m going to forget. I march toward her first hour class. By the time I get there, class has already started and there’s no way for me to get inside without causing a stir, so I stand in front of the window staring at her.
There’s no way she doesn’t see me, but she keeps her eyes trained neatly on the whiteboard. Her fingers move precisely as she takes notes. I watch every stroke, waiting for her to run out of words. She’s so focused, she jumps when the bell rings and knocks her water bottle off her desk. Some kid I don’t know sets it back on her desk and moves on without speaking. Robin fumbles through getting her things back in her bag, moving slowly toward the door.
She tries to pretend me latching onto her arm and dragging her through the halls doesn’t affect her. Nobody finds it odd that she’s tripping over her own feet and bumping into people. It’s Robin, after all. I yank her out to the empty football field and gesture harshly for her to take a seat on the bleachers. She does.
Sitting down next to her, I try to limit my frustration to only the portion she deserves and not everything simmering inside of me. I’m not terribly successful.
“You lied to me last night.” The heat in my voice makes her shrink in on herself.
Robin squirms a minute before answering. “I know.”
“Why?” I demand.
Her bottom lip quivers. “Because . . . I couldn’t tell you how I knew about Olivia going with you, maybe, or why mentioning the police scared away the Sentinel.” She drops her head into her hands.
I don’t give her an easy way out. The weight of my body sitting down next to her makes the old bleachers creak. My presence seems to have a similar effect on Robin. She groans as she squeezes her head.
“I told my parents . . . about you.”
Every cell in my body becomes electric. Energy sizzles across my skin as panic begins flooding through my veins. I am almost too freaked out to speak. Somehow, my voice erupts of its own free will. “You what?” I scream.
“I had to, Mason. It was the only way to find out what you needed to know, and it’s okay. They promised not to tell anyone. None of the other Caretakers know. Only my mom and dad, I promise.”
Robin sits trembling at my feet, her eyes wide and fearful as she waits for me to respond. Her words jumble in my head. I can’t seem to figure out what they mean. The pounding need to act, to run, is overpowering everything else. I have to force myself to breathe and think in order to respond.
“What?”
Okay, not much of a response, but it’s all I can manage at the moment. I feel like I am on the verge of losing it completely.
“I tried asking my grandma more, but she hasn’t been well the past few days. I tried asking my parents, but they got suspicious right away. I had to tell them or they were going to pack up and make me move again. I couldn’t leave not knowing if you were okay.” Robin’s voice is pleading, begging me to understand.
I don’t know if I understand. I don’t know if I can forgive her for breaking her promise, shattering my trust. Right now, I don’t even want to speak with her, but I have to know.
“Why didn’t they tell anyone? How do you know they didn’t? What if they’ve sent someone to come get me already?”
More questions roll through my mind, but Robin speaks before I can ask them. “I told them about what happened to your Caretakers, about you being special, about Olivia being your Escort. I told them that you would never leave Olivia.” She looks down at her hands. “I told them I’d leave if they told anyone else.”
Her shoulders shrug. “I don’t think me threatening to leave made half as much impact as your story. They got really scared, but they agreed that being with Olivia is probably the safest place you can be right now. Being with her protects you somehow. My mom wasn’t sure on the specifics, but she said she’d find out more. So long as the Sentinels only have suspicions, and don’t actually try to take you, they’ll leave you alone.”
“But if something changes, they’ll swoop in and abduct me?” I growl.
“It was the best deal I could make,” she says quietly.
I am furious with her. The anger pouring off of me feels hot enough to scorch. Stuffing it away in favor of answers . . . I can’t find a word to describe how impossible that seems. Somehow, I do it, enough to unclench my jaw and speak, anyway.
“What does this have to do with the police scaring away the Sentinels?”
Robin’s pale skin turns green. “Well, when I said my parents agreed not to tell anyone, that wasn’t exactly, technically true.” She holds up her hands when I take an angry step toward her. “There are specially trained policemen all over the country, all over the world. They’re Caretakers by birth, but they are chosen to protect all Aerlings rather than one in particular.”
“Chosen?” I demand.
She nods slowly. “They’re Caretakers who are more sensitive to differences in people. They can identify Sentinels, and when it comes to Sentinels, Caretaker law supersedes everything else. They’ll kill them without a second thought, and once they ID them, they never forget. They’ll hunt them down relentlessly. My parents told them about the guys watching your house.”
I sit back down silently, struggling to process everything.
“Was the Sentinel that came to your house young?” Robin asks.
I nod mutely.
“They’re usually more scared of the police than the older Sentinels. The older ones are better at getting away.”
Shaking my head, I try to get my scrambled thoughts in order. It doesn’t work. I’m going to have to sort all of this out later. Right now, I need another answer.
“What about Olivia going with me?” I demand.
Robin all but sulks at this question. “It was my dad who found out about it. He said Escorts have the ability to cross the barrier between our world and yours. There wasn’t a lot of information, but he knew stories of Escorts disappearing along with their Aerling. It may be that they can stay there if they want, or it could mean . . . ”
“It could mean they died trying to get some poor, confused Aerling like me through the barrier.”
Robin nods grimly.
“You have no idea which one it is?” I ask, feeling the panic creeping back in.
“Not yet,” Robin responds.
With nothing else to offer me by way of answers, and me too angry and confused to think, we part ways. I go through the rest of the day in a haze. Olivia still isn’t interested in talking to me, but a concerned expression graces her face every time she looks at me.
The ride home from school is only slightly less pleasant as I tell Olivia everything Robin told me. The news about Escorts being able to cross the barrier between worlds brings a spark of hope to her eyes no matter how hard she tries to hide it.
Find
ing out that Robin told her parents . . . I have to say I have never seen Olivia turn that shade of purplish red before. I don’t say a word as she storms through the house, marches up to her room and shuts the door quietly. I wait by her door, listening to her vent her frustration. I had no idea Olivia knew that many swear words. I’d laugh if I weren’t afraid she was going to kill me for trusting Robin.
Eventually, Olivia’s bedroom door reopens. I step back, not eager to be in her path. She looks up at me and says, “We will discuss this after dinner with Mom and Dad. Until then, if I hear her name, I think I might punch you in the face.”
The other thing that has been consuming my mind today—what little was left idle after talking to Robin—has been latched firmly onto the theory I came up with last night. I need to test it. I have to test it. Not alone, though.
“I have something I want to try,” I say slowly, “and I want you to see it if it works.”
Olivia looks at me, confused with the sudden change in direction. One eyebrow crooks up at me, but she nods her head sharply. She may hate me right now, but she’s never been able to turn down witnessing me do something interesting.
Olivia follows me down toward the kitchen in silence. I heard Olivia’s mom come in a few moments ago. The sound of bags rustling is a sure sign that she’s in there putting away groceries. When I stop at the entrance to the kitchen, Olivia stops as well.
I really have no idea how to go about this. I try to understand how I make my clothes disappear, but not the cat. It’s my choice what becomes invisible and what doesn’t. Even the rest of the family being able to hear me—I don’t think there was some preset rule saying that they had to accept my existence as fact before they could hear me. I think I made that rule, because I was scared.
There is no guidebook for this. All I can think to do is focus. My thoughts zero in on Olivia’s mom, on her being able to hear me. She’s already accepted me. I have no fear of being revealed to her because I know she loves me. I want her to hear me, to break the need to have a physical link that protects me from her. I don’t need to be protected from her.
“Karen.”
Her movements stop. Her head quirks to one side as if she’s not sure what just happened.
“Karen, can you hear me?” I ask.
She jumps. Her eyes dart to her shoulders. Her hands brush along her arms, up to her shoulders, but she feels nothing. Spinning around, she spots Olivia. She looks vaguely alarmed as she tries to guess where I might be.
“Mason?” she asks quietly. “Where are you?”
“I’m standing next to Olivia,” I say.
Her eyes widen, but they begin to fill with excitement. “You are? But how can I hear you?”
“I think I could have let you hear me this whole time, I just didn’t realize it.”
Slowly, her feet carry her across the kitchen to stand right in front of me. There are tears gathering in her eyes. “Can I . . . ?”
My eyes close. I know what she wants to ask. Can she see me too? It’s the same question on my mind. I want to know the answer as badly as she does. Closing my eyes, I try again to focus. It seems harder to do this time until Olivia slips her hand into mine. For a moment, I don’t feel her hostility. I feel her love and encouragement, and it gives me the strength to allow myself to be vulnerable in a way I never thought I could be.
I watched the first family I knew be murdered in front of my eyes. Being invisible was the only thing that saved me. It protected me. I’ve used it as a shield all these years, not knowing I could let it down, not trusting anyone but Olivia enough to even want to. Knowing that my time here is so limited pushes me even further. I want the woman who has raised me, protected me, loved me, to finally see me and know me.
Peace settles over me as I let go of the fear of being hurt, of losing those I love. My fingers tighten around Olivia’s. She responds in kind and I hear her mom gasp. My eyes snap open to see her crying. A second later, her arms reach out and wrap me in a massive hug.
“Mason!” she cries out joyfully. She pulls back enough to look at me. “Look at you! You look just how I imagined you would!”
Surprised, I ask, “I do?”
She smiles and presses her hands against my cheeks. “Of course you do. Look at your kind eyes. This is the smile I pictured every time you pulled a prank. The way you hold yourself, so strong and ready to protect. This is such a wonderful gift,” she says tearfully.
Her arms wrap around me again. I smile as she laughs and cries at the same time. My eyes drift over to Olivia in wonder. The smile she wears sinks through me to my core. It’s the first time she’s looked at me with something other than anger in days. I am desperate to hold onto the moment, but Evie comes bounding down the stairs, drawing everyone’s eyes.
“What’s going on?” she asks. “And who on earth is Mom hugging?”
Chapter 31
Any Hint
(Olivia)
I am completely drained. The emotional ups and downs of today have sapped my strength. Sitting on the back porch watching Dad throw baseballs to Mason, actually knowing where to throw them for once since he can see him now, makes me smile tiredly. It’s a small smile, though, as I try to sort through everything that has happened today.
By far, the biggest hurdle today has been not driving over to Robin’s house and beating the living daylight out of her. My fingers clench over the armrests of the deck chair. I breathe in slowly as Dad throws the ball back to Mason with a laugh. It hits smack in the middle of the glove. I smile again and relax my hands.
This . . . watching Mason interact with my family like he’s no different than us . . . it’s the only thing that has stopped me from killing Robin. I never knew playing catch could be so beautiful.
“Pretty awesome, right?” Evie asks as she plops down next to me.
“Amazing,” I say.
Evie grins as Dad throws a wild pitch and teases Mason for not catching it. Yesterday, he would have had no idea whether or not Mason was near enough to attempt catching the ball. They both laugh and Dad throws an arm around Mason before they step back and resume their game of catch.
“You were right about Mason,” Evie says. “He’s gorgeous.”
A few days ago, I would have been happy to gush over Mason. Today, my body tenses up. Hurt, confusion, and uncertainty swim through my mind. He said there was nothing going on between him and Robin, but he held her hand! He walked away from me. Why would he do that?
Noticing my reaction, Evie’s body stills. She sits quietly for a moment. I watch her bite the corner of her lip. Her fingers wind together. “Have you talked to Mason about it?” she asks.
I stare at her incredulously. “Why would I?”
“He might . . . he might have a reason for what he did.” Her head dips, as if she’s not convinced of what she’s saying. Well, neither am I!
“Nothing Mason can say will erase what he did.”
I expect anger to fill my voice, but I’m surprised to hear the words come out sounding defeated. An ache builds in my chest. I don’t want to be angry with Mason. I want him to take me in his arms and hold me, tell me all the insane events of the last few weeks will disappear if I just wish it hard enough. I don’t want to feel such intense pain every time I look at him, but I can’t let go of the hurt.
Evie shifts in her chair. Her eyes dart up to me before dropping again. “I think you should talk to him.”
“Yesterday, you were as pissed at him as I am. Why the change of heart? Just because you can see him now, it doesn’t change anything,” I argue. Maybe this is too overwhelming for her to hold onto her anger, but it isn’t for me.
“It’s not about seeing him,” Evie says sadly. “It’s about the truth.”
Part of me argues that I should just brush her off. I want to walk away and not let myself feel any sympathy for Mason. A much smaller, infinitely more fragile part of me is begging for any shred of hope I can find.
“The truth?” My voice is we
ak and trembling.
Nodding, Evie looks up at me. “He said . . . he said he was trying to protect you the only way he knew how. I don’t know what he meant by that. He seemed to think it would be better if he told you himself.”
Evie touches my arm gently. “He told me it was the worst mistake he’s ever made and when you’re ready, he’ll explain everything.”
“Protect me?” I choke out. My lungs constrict, refusing to take in air. “But he . . . he kissed me, and not just a peck on the cheek. He kissed me. The kind of kiss I will never, ever forget. The kind that spawns an addiction with one touch. It was a kiss that I can’t get out of my mind no matter how hard I try!”
My hands press against my face, holding hostage emotions and tears alike. I refuse to cry over Mason again. I refuse!
“And then he walked away like it never happened, like it meant nothing,” I whisper. “Does he not understand how much that hurt?”
“He does now,” Evie says, “but I don’t think he did at the time.”
The fire I felt in that instant reignites as I think about Mason’s lips pressing hungrily to mine. Terrible heat spreads through my body. I know he felt it too. It wasn’t just me.
“How could he not know?” I ask quietly.
Evie’s eyes slip past me to Dad and Mason. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but her expression flashes between a smile and a frown. Her face echoes the turmoil she must be feeling. When she looks up at me, her eyes are filled with careful determination.
“You know Mason is in love with you, right?” she asks.
My face scrunches. “He was, maybe.”
Evie shakes her head. “There’s no maybe, no was. He is in love with you. Desperately.”
I don’t say anything. I don’t want to contradict her, because I want it to be true so badly, but I just don’t know if it is anymore.
“Are you in love with Mason?” Evie asks.
Maybe saying no out loud will make this less painful. Maybe it will make it true. It’s a foolish hope. “Yes,” I say, almost a whisper.
“Does Mason know that?” Evie asks.
PANDORA Page 193
