“You were not raised as your ancestors were,” he tells me softly, his black eyes burning into mine. “You are not them. You could never do the things they have done.”
He looks so adamant, so sincere I have to wonder how much he knows.
Morgan apparently either hears me or the same thought occurs to him.
“And you sound like you know way too much,” his lips thin. “Why are you here, Devon? Why come to this little town in the middle of nowhere?”
Devon’s face closes off faster than I can blink. It becomes the cold stone mask I know so well. I instantly miss the warmth of his smile.
“I have my reasons.”
“What reasons?” Morgan presses, ignoring the forbidding look on Devon’s face.
“ALEX!”
I knew it wouldn’t last. Why, oh why does my brother have to interrupt us now? My shoulders slump in resignation.
“Over here.”
Jason carries his baseball bat. He eyes the three of us with suspicion. “What are you doing out here, Alexandria?”
Never a good sign when he uses my full name. I can see the wheels turning in his head. Oh. As if.
“Not what you’re thinking.”
“It’s not safe to be out alone, Alex.”
“I’m not alone, now am I, Jase?”
“I can see that,” he grinds out.
I stare him down.
“You know you’re not supposed to come out without telling either me or Uncle Sabien,” he says at last, breaking the stare. “It’s not safe.”
I always win our staring contests.
“He’s right,” Morgan agrees. “That’s why we came to talk to you if you remember.”
“I’m trying not to,” I grumble.
“It’ll be fine,” Morgan squeezes my hand. “The pack knows that there are trackers in our territory now. We’ll be watching next time. They won’t slip by us.”
“As will I,” Devon assures me. “You’ll be safe, Alexandria.”
“What exactly is going on here?” Jason demands.
Morgan grins and flashes amber eyes at him.
“Alex, get back!” He lifts the bat, preparing to swing. Before he’s raised it more than an inch, Devon is up off the ground and throws him back across the yard several feet.
“Show off,” Morgan grins.
Devon shrugs.
“Jase, are you okay?” I glare at Morgan and Devon and go to check on my brother.
“Alex, you have to get Uncle Sabien.” He struggles to sit up.
“No, Jason, everything’s cool. Morgan and Devon are friends. They want to help.”
“But . . . ”
“No buts, Jason. Calm down and listen. I think Morgan can help you.”
“Help me? Did you see his eyes, Alex?”
“That’s why I think he can help you, Jase. He’s like you.”
“She’s right,” Morgan approaches him just as carefully as he had me the other day. “My pack can help you. All that anger is getting harder to control isn’t it? You’re almost ready to change. You’ll be lucky if you make it to the next full moon.”
Jason stares at him with open hostility. “I don’t need any help.”
I sigh. Boys.
“Do you want to change where there are humans around?” Devon asks him bluntly, cutting off any argument I might have made. “You would kill one of them. A newborn is not coherent. He has no control. All he can think about is the hunt, the smells, the feel of all that hot blood pouring down his throat. Is that what you want? Do you want to kill some innocent human because you are too proud to let anyone help you? What if that person is your sister? How would it feel if you killed her?”
“I won’t hurt her,” he replies hotly. “I’m not a monster.”
Oh, but he is. It seems I’m not the only one having trouble coming to grips with that particular fact.
“You will not be able to stop yourself,” Devon tells him grimly. “The first shift is like nothing you will ever experience. There will be nothing of you left. The instincts of the wolf will take over everything. You will be the animal that you have turned into. It takes time and practice to learn to control the wolf. You cannot do this by yourself. Let Morgan and his pack help you.”
“No,” Jason snarls at him.
“You bloody little fool.” Devon jerks him to his feet.
Jason growls, I mean really growls as in a doggy growl. His eyes begin to glow with an amber light.
“Devon, maybe you should let go of him,” I whisper.
Devon smiles.
“You will not harm me and you will calm yourself this instant.”
Power pours off of Devon in icy cold waves. Morgan staggers back under its weight. It hits me hard and I fall to my knees. I want to fight, I try to, but it’s useless. I have no will of my own anymore. Devon’s will controls me. I can’t deny him anything that he wants.
Lord, give me strength.
“Devon,” I manage to choke out. “Stop.”
Instantly, I am free of whatever weird control he holds over me. Heat pours back into my frozen mind. Morgan floods me with heat. Devon doesn’t look at me. He focuses entirely upon my brother.
“Who are you?” Jason breathes, his eyes back to their normal blue.
“Someone who plans on keeping your sister safe.”
“Devon, will you put him down please?” I ask, getting to my feet and notice my brother has somehow become suspended. Devon holds him easily.
Devon lets go and Jason falls flat on his back.
“Did you have to do that?” I glare at him.
He shrugs.
“Alex, who is he?” Jason is staring at us from the ground.
“He’s my friend and he’s . . . something I can’t explain. He was cursed by a gypsy and now there’s something in him that is as much a beast as we are.”
“You need to stay away from her.” Jason tells him softly.
“I cannot do that,” Devon tells him. “My first priority is to keep your sister safe, even from you.”
“I wouldn’t . . . ”
“Yes, you would,” Devon’s voice softens. “You wouldn’t mean to, but if she was the first thing you saw when you shifted, your instincts would take over and then you would tear her to pieces.”
I shudder at the image.
Jason looks at me with growing horror. I feel so bad for him. It’s exactly what I’ve been feeling the last couple of days.
“I’ll take you tomorrow to meet the pack,” Morgan offers. “We’ll help you get through this.”
He nods, never looking away from me. “I don’t want to hurt her.”
“I would never let you,” Devon promises, an almost feral look in his eyes.
Jason looks at him sharply. Whatever he sees in Devon’s face makes his own drain of color, but he nods and takes a shaky breath. “Thank you.”
“Now,” Devon turns his attention back to Morgan and me. “I think you and your brother should get inside before you freeze to death, Alexandria. You need to sleep.”
He’s back to sounding arrogant and ordering me around again.
I open my mouth to tell him what he can do with that little bit of advice when Jason stands up.
“Let’s go, Sis.”
I glare at Devon and indulge in a childish urge. I stick my tongue out at him and he laughs. So not my intention.
Jason pushes me ahead of him and into the house. He really isn’t taking things as well as I thought. He’s just as freaked out and messed up as I am. Maybe being with the pack will help him.
I hope so.
Chapter 23
Rain. I could feel it wash over my skin, cleansing me. The thick paste of wet earth squished between my bare toes. The smell of the wet leaves and damp earth mingled around me, comforting me. Even though it was a cold rain, I felt warm. The wind gently blew at me, a reassuring caress. I was at peace as I walked through the darkness around me.
Whispers. They were everywhere, calling to me
. I kept putting one foot in front of the other and ignored the need to turn and run to them. Eyes waited for me in the trees ahead and I walked on, aware of their watchful presence. They gave me the strength I needed to move forward.
I stepped out of the trees and into a meadow. It was neither raining nor cloudy in this little haven. The moon shone full and bright in its glory upon my bare flesh. I held out my hands and raised them upward.
The howls surrounded me, urging me on.
I started to shift my stance to do what I needed to do when I caught the scent. My nose flared at the familiar wrongness of it. It stole through me and shattered my peace.
He was standing at the edge of the meadow watching me.
Angry chocolate eyes stared at me in an accusing expression.
The wolves raised their voices in challenge.
Power flowed out from him and silenced them.
I felt it pour over me, trying to force me down onto my knees.
Pain lashed my body, my mind filled with images of blood and death. I started to shake with the effort it cost me to hold my stance.
“You will not taint your blood.” His voice cracked over my sensitive flesh, tearing at it. Blood flowed from the lacerations that he’d inflicted with just his voice.
No, he would not do this to me in my woods. He was not supposed to be here.
I snarled a low warning as he pushed more power into me.
He smiled at the challenge and whispered one word.
“Mine.”
His power cut through me into my wolf. She screamed in pain and howled with rage. He did something to her, to us. I cried out, feeling it.
He reached for me.
My head hits the floor and I wake up gasping for air. I’m breathing hard and the old familiar fear steals over me. Who is this man stalking my dreams?
It’s just a dream, I remind myself.
But are they really just dreams?
Have they ever been just dreams?
I don’t know.
Chapter 24
Saidie stares wistfully at the banners announcing the fall masquerade, a Senior’s only event. The lower classmen can’t go unless invited and Saidie desperately wants to go. How do I know this? It’s all she talks about.
“Give it up, Saidie,” Connor laughs, his raven locks falling in his eyes. “I don’t think even you can manage this one.”
“Bite your tongue,” she smirks. “I still have two days.”
“I’ll see you two later,” he shakes his head. “I promised Jenny I’d have lunch with her.”
“Jenny Arnold?” Saidie looks impressed. Jenny was a senior.
“Yup,” he drawls and saunters away.
“What do you think, Alex?” she asks. “Do we have a shot at getting dates?”
“Sure,” I reply half-heartedly. There is only one boy I want to ask me out and he doesn’t seem inclined to do so. Stupid boy.
Saidie sighs. “It’s no fun when you don’t plot with me, Alex. Has he even said anything?”
Yeah, Saidie knows I like Devon. Seeing as how he’s only a junior and can’t take me to the dance, I don’t really care about it one way or the other. No, all I want is Devon.
“I swear Saidie that boy gives out more mixed signals than a student driver on crack.”
“What?” she laughs.
“It’s true. I can’t figure him out. One minute he’s all cold and the next he’ll look at me with those eyes and I melt. Or at least he used to. Have you noticed how distant he’s been the last couple of days?”
“You mean the fact that he’s all but ignored you?” she asks dryly.
I wince. It sounds so much better my way.
“Well, why don’t you ask him out?”
“What?” I chirp, not expecting that. “Are you crazy?”
“Nope.”
“I . . . I can’t do that.” No freakin way. Even I’m not that brave. What if he looks at me like I’ve lost my mind? Just the thought makes my stomach knot.
Another sigh erupts from Saidie. She still has to push me into things I don’t want to do. The old me still rears her head occasionally. This is one of those times.
“Alex . . . ”
I don’t hear the rest of what she has to say. My eyes focus on two people walking our way. His hand rests on the small of her back and she is smiling up at him. Devon grins down at Felicia Roberts, one of Janna’s little hoe-hags.
I. Do. Not. Understand.
They stop a few feet from us at Felicia’s locker. Then he leans down and kisses her.
Chapter 25
Time freezes and I hang suspended, frozen as the world beneath me drops away. A slow burning sensation begins in my chest. My heart, I realize. It hurts. Fingers grab it and yank. Pain explodes and I can’t breathe. No, he wouldn’t. But he is.
Saidie grabs my arm and jerks me into the Home Ec room. I faintly hear the door slam. I can still see them. The image burns behind my eyelids. Breathing becomes difficult.
“Alex,” Saidie shakes me. “Alex, you have to pull yourself together.”
Bess?
I feel the feather-light touch of Morgan’s mind. Worry laces his thoughts.
Go away, Morgan.
What’s wrong?
My mind flashes back to Devon kissing Felicia.
Oh, he sounds unsure.
GO AWAY! I do not want him here right now. All I want to do is cry. My heart has been ripped out of me and tossed into the garbage disposal. I hurt.
Morgan leaves.
“Alex,” Saidie speaks softly. “Alex, it’ll be okay. I know you like him, but . . . ”
But he doesn’t like me. That much is apparent. How stupid am I to think he actually might like me?
How much more can my life suck than right now?
“Alex, Janna saw your face.”
Why did I have to ask? Crap and double crap.
“You know she’s waiting on us,” Saidie tells me. She sounds so worried.
I close my eyes and force myself to take slow deep breaths. Three more hours—only three hours and I can go crawl in my bed and cry. I can do this. I plaster what I hope is a serene expression on my face and turn to look at Saidie. I don’t know how well I pull it off, but she nods and we walk out. I keep my eyes straight ahead, refusing to look at anyone. Devon’s eyes bore into me. I don’t give into the urge to look. Kudos to me.
Three more hours.
The longest three hours ever. I sit quietly through the rest of my classes and try not to be aware of Devon sitting behind me. How can I not though? My heart is broken into a thousand tiny little pieces and it’s all his fault! I want to turn around and strangle him. How dare he? He is Mine dammit. How dare he kiss someone else? I recognize how insane I sound. He isn’t mine and he doesn’t belong to me. That doesn’t keep me from feeling like I want to kill him for doing this to me, though.
I sure as certain am not going stick around for him to try and talk to me after school. Morgan has my keys and promised earlier to bring my car home. I bolt as soon as the bell sounds and find Jason. I make my brother take me home. He takes one look at my face and leaves his friends staring after him. Jason asks if I want to talk about it and I shake my head no. Everyone probably knows, I realize. Janna will have made sure of it. Humiliated, I trudge to my room and curl up and go to sleep, my chest heaving and my mind dizzy with the image of that kiss.
School the next day is unpleasant to say the least. Morgan watches me but doesn’t say anything. I know he feels what I’m feeling, but what can I do about that? Saidie keeps up a constant string of chatter and Devon, well Devon just pretty much ignores me as is his way these days. He doesn’t say one word to me. He doesn’t even have the decency to look at all sorry. He’d done everything in his power to convince me he would never hurt me, that he’d protect me and then goes and does this. He knows I like him. Morgan told me as much. Hateful, stupid . . . boy!
At least I won’t have to deal with him at lunch. I heard him tell Morga
n earlier he was having lunch with Felicia. Saidie and Connor keep trying to draw me into conversation and I hope I make all the right responses. Small talk is beyond me right now. I’ve never felt this alone. It feels like a piece of me is missing without Devon. I am cold, bereft. I’ve never in all my life felt like this. Not even when I was in my darkest days at Compton did I feel this hurt, scared, and alone. Morgan is there in the background and his warmth is all that is holding me together at the minute, all that stands between me and having a complete breakdown.
If this is what being a normal girl who gets her heart broken feels like, I’ll never wish for normalcy again.
I need to drop my books and grab my jacket out of my locker so I make my way over to it after science. Janna stands in front of it. Flippin Fantastic. Just what I need.
“Excuse me,” I say. “Can you move please?”
“Well if it isn’t our little Alley Cat,” she smiles.
“Janna, I need to get in my locker so will you please move?”
“I’m not through talking yet, Alley Cat. We’ll move when we’re done.”
“Look, all you need to do is move two inches. It’s not that hard,” I try to keep my voice calm, but the anger building makes it hard to do.
She turns her back on me, dismissing me.
Anger and hurt bleed to rage. Blind fury explodes and with it something else. Something stirs, stretches under my skin. We become one being, one mind. We look at Janna with curiosity. This little patch of ground is Ours. She dares to challenge us?
Bess, no . . .
“Janna.”
She turns, a brow arched in question. Then she frowns.
We smile at her. “Move.”
Her eyes narrow. “You still haven’t learned your lesson have you, Alley Cat? Did my having Felicia take Devon from you not teach you anything?”
We want to spring, to snap, to tear. We want to sink our teeth into her throat and shake her until her bones turn to dust. We want . . . ”
ALEXANDRIA! Morgan screams in our head as Jason steps between Janna and us. His beast rolls behind his eyes. “Alex.”
His eyes bore into ours. Jason may have six inches on us and a good hundred pounds, but in this, he is no match for us. Something shimmers around us. Warmth, like the heat of a summer’s day, flows off our skin and into him. He whimpers and bows his head. Foolish to think he is any match for us. We crow at the triumph.
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