Nathaniel sighs again, his face resigned. He can hear the conviction in my voice.
“I am here whenever you have need of me, little one.” He hands me a business card. “Call me when you are ready.”
“Why do you want to help me?” I ask. “I killed your sister.”
“She tried to kill you,” he shrugs. “You are my compliment and that bond means more to us than anyone or anything else.”
Jason and I look at each other, glad we haven’t been raised in this crazy psycho world of magic. If someone had dared to harm either of us, the other would have moved mountains to exact vengeance. These people are nuts.
“We should leave, Alex,” Jason grimaces, standing up slowly.
“You’re right,” I agree, pulling away from Devon to help Connor. I instantly miss the feel of his arms.
Connor takes my arm and leads me outside or rather I lead him. He leans heavily on me, apparently sill woozy. Devon really had taken too much blood. Granted, he didn’t know that anyone else would be willing to offer themselves up as dinner, but still, he should have known better.
Devon helps Jason down the steps and to the cars. He loads him into Connor’s brother’s car and frowns. “I can drive everyone back to the dance, but we can’t leave your brother’s car here. Someone might see it and ask questions.”
“I’ll drive,” I offer.
“In that dress?” Devon quirks an eyebrow. “Jason’s car is a stick shift, Alexandria. I’m not sure your dress can . . . .handle the needed movements. You might go flying out in places.”
“There is nothing wrong with my dress,” I reply. “It covers me.”
“Really?” he gives me one of those slow looks from head to toe that makes my insides go all gooey. “I think you need to cover up a bit more, Cara. That dress if far too revealing.”
“Well, Tom likes it just fine,” I shoot back, flustered.
Devon’s lips thin a bit. “Alexandria, you need a coat.”
“And you don’t get the right to tell me what I can and can’t wear, Devon Cameron. You didn’t want that right, remember? You wanted the hohag instead.” He really burns me up when he starts in on that high and mighty crutch of his. “Come on, Morgan, let’s go.”
Bess, the dress is a bit revealing . . . bet that’s why Tom likes it!
“I’ll make you walk back,” I threaten him.
He grins a wolfy grin. At least I think he grinned. Kinda hard to tell. Can dogs grin?
“He knows I will not leave him to walk back, Cara,” Devon laughs.
“Good,” I grouch at them as I help Connor into the front seat and buckle his seat belt. “You two can ride together.”
Morgan trots over to stand beside of Devon who promptly scratches him behind the ears.
I feel it. Devon and Morgan both know I can feel it. Stupid boys.
“Not fair,” I snarl, refusing to look at either of them. I hear Devon chuckle as I get in the driver’s seat and start the car. Jason left his keys in the ignition. I’m thankful for that. Grumbling about rude people, I put the car in gear and head back to the dance. To Tom.
How am I going to explain this?
Chapter 40
I can see Tom pacing in front of the gym when we pull into the parking lot. His head swivels in our direction as soon as he hears the engines. Thanks to my improved night vision, I can see his face clearly even in the dark. And boy does he look pissed.
“You up for this?” Connor asks.
“No, not really,” I sigh and get out of the car, trying to remember the story we came up with on the way back.
“Where the hell have you been?” Tom shouts as soon as he reaches me. “Do you know how worried I’ve been?”
I wince. Yup, he’s good and mad.
“She came to get me,” Connor drags himself out of the car.
Good Lord, Connor looked awful. His lip’s busted, he has a black eye, and a small cut on his left cheek. He’s a mess, but then again, so is everyone else. They’d had to fight their way inside to get to me. They are all bloodied and bruised, including Devon. He doesn’t look nearly as bad as the rest of them thanks to the blood he’d ingested, but there is still some bruising visible.
“When I came out to get some air I saw some of the guys from the Ieager team fighting with Connor,” I said. “They threw him in a car and I jumped into his brother’s car to follow them.”
“You did what?” Tom explodes. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?”
“Jason and Devon have already yelled at me, Tom,” I glare, getting angry. Yeah, I know he’s mad, but still, he has no right to yell at me. I’ve been through enough tonight. “Can I finish?”
He nods, tight-lipped.
“I called . . . ”
“You called Cameron?” he bites out, glaring at Devon and me both.
I so do not need this.
“No, I didn’t call Devon. I called my brother.”
“Then how the hell did he end up with you, Alex?” Tom stalks closer, pressing me backwards into the car. Devon lets out a low snarl, but I see Jason put a restraining hand on him.
“He was standing next to Jason when I called,” I snap. “He came with Jason.” He doesn’t look like he believes me.
“Why didn’t you call me, Alex?” he demands, leaning closer.
The wolf rises up and growls in response to the challenge. He blinks. I close my eyes and force her back. No way can he see my eyes glowing amber.
“My phone died.”
“Don’t lie to me, Alex,” he yells. “You charge that thing religiously.”
Thank you God for small miracles, I breathe a prayer of thanks. I really had forgotten to charge my phone last night. I push Tom away from me and fish my phone out of my dress. Yeah, I know, not the best of places to put a phone, but hey. There had been no way I was leaving it in my purse after the incident at the mall with Nathaniel. Uh-uh.
“Here, look.” I throw the phone at him. “It’s dead.”
He catches it and looks down. The first looks of uncertainty cross his face. “I thought you . . . ”
“That I’d what? Run off with Devon or something?” I yell at him. Make him out to be the one in the wrong, my wolf growls in agreement. Jason always says the best defense was a good offensive. “Do you really think so little of me?” I ask. “How could you believe I’d do that to you?”
“Alex . . . I,” he pauses and takes another look at the boys. It’s plain as day they’ve been in a fight. He can’t doubt that. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. It’s just that when both of you went missing . . . ”
“You know, Tom, I’m really not in the mood for your jealousy.” I storm around to the driver’s side of the car. “Jason, find your own way home.”
As soon as I am out of sight of the school, the panic I’ve been keeping at bay by focusing on everything else hits full force. My mind whirls with images of the fight, of Devon dying on the ground, of Lorelye being consumed by fire. Thankfully, I only live ten minutes away. Any longer than that and I might not have made it before I broke down. As it is, I barely make it to the bathroom.
Locking the door, I turn on the shower. I pull off the dress and step under the hot water. It scalds me, but I pay it no mind. I keep seeing Lorelye’s face as the fire came at her, hearing her screams as she was burned alive. I had done that to her. Me. I killed her. No matter how much I scrub my hands, I can’t seem to get them clean. The fire that killed her came from me, from my hands. They will never be clean.
When the water runs cold, I step out and pull on my robe.
“Sis?” Jason knocks softly on the door. “Are you okay?”
“Fine, Jason,” I whisper back. Neither of us wants to wake Dad. I’d seen him asleep on the couch when I came in.
“I know you’re fine,” he whispers, “but are you okay?”
Jason knows me well enough to know I’m not fine no matter what I say.
“No,” I sigh, “but I will b
e. I just need to be alone for a while, ‘kay?”
“I’ll be in my room if you need me,” he calls and I hear him move away from the door down to his own room. When his door closes, I look at myself in the mirror. I sure as certain don’t look fine.
My eyes are black and hollow, filled with the horror of what I’ve done. Her face torments me. I can still see her fear, her pain as she burned. Nausea overtakes me and I barely make it to the toilet before I start throwing up. Hot bile burns my throat just as I’d burned her to death. I . . . killed . . . her.
Bess, I’m coming. Get to your room.
I creep to my bedroom and change into my pajamas. I’m shaking so hard by the time I crawl into the bed I think I’ll literally break into pieces. I killed her. Dear God, I killed her.
Morgan let himself in through the window. He piles onto the bed and wraps his body around mine. I’m not alone anymore. I’ll never be alone again as long as I have Morgan. Turning over, I bury my face in his chest and cry until there’s nothing left.
“Shh, shh,” he whispers, stroking my hair. “It’s okay, Bessie Mae. I’m here.”
I killed her, Morgan. I killed her. Oh God . . .
You had to, Bess. She would have killed Devon and maybe all of us. You didn’t have a choice.
I can see her face, Morgan. Every time I close my eyes I see it.
I know, Bess. I see it too.
He pulls me closer, his warmth melting some of the chill that I can’t seem to shake. What would I do without Morgan?
You’ll never have to know, Bess. He starts to rub slow circles into my back. I was so scared earlier when I couldn’t feel you.
It felt like I couldn’t breathe, I tell him, remembering the panic. When I couldn’t find you . . .
You’re okay now, you’re safe.
Lorelye’s face swims up in front of my eyes. Her eyes glare at me, in accusation. I can smell her skin as it burns, hear her screams.
Her face, Morgan...Sweet Jesus, I killed her.
I’m here, Bess. It’s okay. We’ll get through this, I promise. Just try and sleep.
Tears well up again. Please, God, I beg. Help me get through this. Please.
I fall asleep breathing in the scent of wet dirt and honeysuckle and the sound of Lorelye’s screams.
Chapter 41
The room glowed in a bath of candles. No furniture graced its floors. Just the windows and the candles. I stood in the center of the room and heard the door open. I knew this scent. We snarled, my wolf leaping to life inside of me. This was the scent we tracked. Now he’d trapped us here alone with him. Danger, my wolf screamed. We need to tear, to rip, to run.
“Shh,” he said. “You are safe here.”
Safe? No, we weren’t safe. He scared us.
“I have waited a long time for you, my love,” his voice whispered against my ear, his fingers trailing a path down my arms. I shivered at the touch and my wolf whined low in my throat. His power stroked us, calmed us.
“You belong to me, love,” his lips ghosted across my shoulder to settle at the pulse point at the base of my throat. “Your blood, your wolf, your heart, your mind, it all belongs to me.” His teeth scraped the skin of my throat and I shuddered.
Danger, my wolf cried, trying to break free of his calming grasp.
How could we defy him? We belonged to him.
No, she screamed at me. We do not belong to him.
Green eyes danced in front of me.
No, I shook my head. We belonged to Devon, not to this outsider.
He hissed. “Mine.”
“No.” I stepped away from him and turned around. His brown eyes pooled with anger. “We don’t belong to you.”
“Mine!” he roared and reached for me.
I come awake with a shriek, my body sweating and my breath too fast.
Who is he? Who is this man stalking my dreams?
Who?
Chapter 42
Tom is waiting for me at the kitchen table when I come downstairs the next day. Much to my surprise, I’d slept until noon. Morgan is still sound asleep upstairs. Now wouldn’t Tom like that little bit of information. I take a seat across from him.
“Hey,” I greet him warily. He still doesn’t look happy with me.
He just stares at me, his eyes shuttered.
“Have you been here long?” I try again, beginning to get alarmed at the growing look of unease on his face.
“A while,” he says finally. “Why is Morgan Chandler in your bed?”
Crap. He’d probably come upstairs to check on me and seen Morgan. How in God’s name am I supposed to explain that?
“At least it’s him and not Cameron,” he says bitterly and stands up.
“No, Tom, wait!” I jump up and grab his arm. “It’s not what you think . . . ”
“Isn’t it?” he challenges. “Then what’s going on, Alex?”
“I . . . ”
“Look . . . ”
“No, you look,” I yell. “I swear to you nothing is going on between me and Morgan. He’s just a friend.”
“A friend you sleep with!”
“I didn’t sleep with him!”
He just gives me a ‘yeah right’ look.
“Look, Morgan knew how upset I was last night and came to check on me. He found me crying and stayed with me until I went to sleep. He must have fallen asleep too. He was there when I woke up. Please believe me. I . . . I don’t want to lose you. I need you.”
“You have a funny way of showing it, Alex.”
I flinch, wishing I could tell him the truth, but knowing I can’t.
“She’s telling you the truth,” Morgan tells him in a hard, flat tone of voice. I didn’t see him come downstairs. “Alex is my best friend and I came over to make sure she was alright. The whole thing with Connor had her upset and then you started throwing accusations at her about Devon. She was a mess when I got here last night. It took me hours to get her calm enough to go to sleep. I didn’t want to see her end back up at Compton, so I came over to make sure she was coping. And she’s right. I did fall asleep, but that’s all.”
Tom glares at Morgan. I can see the war in his eyes. He wants to believe him, but he’d seen Morgan curled around me. I don’t blame him. What would I think if I saw him with some girl in his bed? Just the thought sets my teeth to grinding. Without realizing it, I’d somehow become so attached to Tom and the thought of losing him hurt. The thought of him with another girl . . . well that makes me just plain jealous.
“Tom, I know you’re mad, but . . . ”
He sighs and holds up a hand. “I need time to think, Alex. I’ll call you later, okay?”
No, he can’t leave like this. I chase him out the door and catch him on the porch.
“Alex,” he growls.
I don’t give him time to say anything else. I kiss him instead. I put everything I can’t say into that kiss and hope it’s enough.
He pulls back and stares down at me, a little shocked. Usually it’s him chasing me and now I’m the one that’s cornered him. He looks a bit shell-shocked.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him softly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please, I can’t lose you. I . . . ”
“You what?” he asks softly, leaning into me, forcing me back against the wall. My wolf almost purrs if that’s possible for a dog. He surrounds us in warmth and strength. We like it. We like him, more than like him. We . . .
“I . . . I . . . love you.”
There I said it.
He smiles down at me and kisses me. I feel the tingle of his kiss all the way to my toes. He wraps me in his arms and hugs me tight.
“I never thought I’d hear you say it,” he whispers against my ear. “I thought . . . never mind.”
A flash of movement catches my eye and I look up to see Devon’s stricken face feet from me. Pain lashes at me. His eyes are full of hurt and acceptance. He disappears around the corner of the house. No, no, no . . .
“I love you too,” Tom whisper
s. “And I’m sorry. I know you’d never do something like that to me, but seeing him there after last night, I don’t know. I just snapped I guess.”
“It’s okay,” I choke back a sob.
“Hey, hey, don’t cry, Blue. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
A tear slides down my cheek. Devon, I need to get to Devon.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he pulls me tight. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell him. And I am sorry; sorry I don’t love him nearly as much as I do Devon, sorry I can’t give him my whole heart. He deserves better than me.
He brushes his lips across mine once more. “I need to go, Alex. I’ll be back later, okay?”
I nod and force a smile to my lips. He really does deserve so much better than me. I watch him get into his car and drive away before scurrying down the porch and around the house. Devon is waiting for me in the gazebo.
He reaches up and pulls me into his lap. I wrap my arms around him and let myself drown in the smell of him. He smells like lilacs and the frost of a winter morning.
“Do you really love him?” he asks me, his voice hoarse.
“Yes,” I answer, tears streaming down my face.
He tightens his hold on me and it become almost painful.
“I didn’t expect this,” he says against my hair. “I never thought . . . ”
“You were the one who told me Tom would be good for me.”
“I know,” he whispers. “I just never expected to feel like this.”
“How do you feel?” I ask, letting him rock me back and forth.
“I want to tear him limb from bloody limb,” Devon snarls. I can feel the fury tightening the muscles in his body. “I don’t want him anywhere near you.”
“Devon, does that mean . . . ”
“No,” he cuts me off. “I meant what I said, Alexandria. We cannot be together. I was right about Tom. He is good for you and you love him.”
“You’re the one that I want.”
“No.”
“But why?” I ask. “You say you love me, but you won’t do anything about it. Why not? Why would you give up on me, on us? Tom fought for me, Devon, but why won’t you?”
He refuses to answer.
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