by Betsy Anne
“Yeah, one more night I need to apologize for. I was so on edge and tired when I saw you. All I wanted to do was lie down.”
“I have to confess something. When I came to the fundraiser, I was a little nervous. Normally, I don’t go to things like that, but since it was Jill asking, there was no way I could say no. As soon as I got there, Katie pointed out everyone I didn’t know, including you. I was awestruck. I stayed in the corner of the room all night and watched you move. You seemed so happy. I didn’t know at the time that it was your house.”
He moves closer to me as he speaks.
“Honestly, my plan was to show up, leave the check inconspicuously and leave. Once I saw you though, I couldn’t. All the talk that night about the shelter made me a little homesick for my mother. She was going through chemo at the time, and I couldn’t be with her because of practice. It was killing me. I had to disappear and get my head on straight. When I tried to get my car, the kid out front essentially told me they wouldn’t be able to get it out, there were too many in the way. That’s when I came upstairs. The only reason I opened your son’s door was because of this guy.”
He rubs Benny on the snout.
“I have a soft spot for animals, especially when I hear them whining like he was. He wanted to be a part of the party.”
He bends down to rub Benny’s tummy, and he shakes his head.
“When I saw all the Georgia stuff in John’s room, I couldn’t believe it. What were the odds? He has a program from one of my games with my picture in it. I saw it on the shelf. Only when you came upstairs did I realize it was your house. I should have guessed when I heard you talking all night with your adorable accent, but I didn’t put it together. I tried not to think about you after that because I figured you were married. I subtly got your story out of Jason. I’m not the type to go after women; I guess I’m too shy. I just prayed that I would run into you again. I have to admit I was hoping it was you they were setting me up with that night, and not that other girl.”
The night I was such a bitch.
“I’ll bet once I opened my mouth you were relieved it wasn’t, huh?”
I pull away from him; I’m still ashamed of that night.
“I was hurt, I won’t lie. I felt a spark between us, though, that night at your house, and I know Jason and Katie to be great judges of character. I knew that if they loved you like they seemed to, then you weren’t really as you came off. The more I spoke with them about you after that, the more intrigued I became. When you didn’t respond to my text, I just assumed I’d been wrong.”
He’s looking at me with anticipation. He needs affirmation that I felt something then, too.
“I wasn’t in a great place when you and I met that first night. Getting involved with someone was literally at the bottom of my list, below having all my toenails pulled out. I did feel something when I saw you. Not just how gorgeous you were, but I saw a sweetness in your eyes. I was startled by the attraction and more than a little annoyed. I didn’t want to be attracted to anyone. I didn’t want any more man trouble in my life; I think that’s why I was such a bitch. I was trying hard to push any of those other thoughts away. I wanted to focus on my job with Jill, and not have any distractions. Of course, the more I tried to forget you, the more you stayed with me. Can I tell you a secret?”
I move closer to him for emphasis. He nods his head; he’s intrigued.
“I masturbated while fantasizing about you. Your face popped into my head while I was trying to…take the edge off. It was the day after the dinner party. It wasn’t intentional, but there you were. In my head, watching me.”
My face is heating up; I feel the rush of blood flooding my cheeks. He notices and smiles.
“Hey, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. If we’re being honest, I did the same that first night I met you. And many times thereafter. I guess when we were finally together at my place, I felt like we had already spent intimate time together. That’s weird, huh?”
He leans into my face, and grazes his lips ever so slightly against mine. Now the blood is leaving my cheeks and headed for every other nerve ending in my body. It makes me lightheaded. I love this discussion, though; he’s really opening up to me. I don’t want it to stop, just yet. Grudgingly, I step back and take a deep breath.
“Wait a sec, I need to catch my breath. This is the most forthcoming you’ve been with me yet. I want to hear more, and not just the dirty stuff.”
He smiles, and then groans when we pull our lips apart.
“OK, for you, I’m an open book. What else do you want to know?”
He’s sitting up straight on a barstool, waiting for me to grill him. I don’t even know where to begin. I decide to dig right in.
“How do you feel about kids? I can’t allow my heart to always lead the way, God knows; I have to use my head. I can’t get too deep into a relationship without thinking about my boys.”
“I love kids. In fact, if football hadn’t worked out, I was going to be a teacher. My degree is in education. I’ve always pictured myself with a big family someday, especially since it was just my mom and me. I never had an extended family, so I want to make one. Your boys are an extension of you. I love you, I’ll love them.”
What?
“Can you back up a second? What did you just say?”
He stands up, and looks squarely into my face.
“I said, I love you, Melanie. It was love at first sight for me. I haven’t had one day when you weren’t on my mind since the first time I laid eyes on you. I even told my mother all about you. She was so happy that you were from Georgia. I’m just so sorry you never had a chance to meet. She would have loved you, and your boys.”
I feel the words bubbling up. I have no control.
“I love you, too!”
I jump up and kiss him hard. I climb up on my knees on the barstool, so we’re face to face. I’m the one now kissing him like a savage. All over his face and neck. He laughs softly at my aggressiveness. He holds my shoulders, and looks into my eyes.
“Are you serious? You aren’t just saying that back because you feel like you have to?”
“No! I think I’ve loved you all this time, too. My brain was trying to protect my heart, trying to push you away. Thank God it didn’t work! Thank you for not giving up on me! I love you, Brian, I love you!”
The last few times I said this to a man, it didn’t end well. But I can’t focus on my failures of the past; this is different. He’s different. If everything I’ve gone through before had to get me to this point, I would do it all over again in a second. I know what bad relationships and false love feel like, and it’s not like this.
He scoops me off the chair, and rushes toward the staircase. He pauses for a moment.
“Can I go up here now? Am I allowed?”
I swat his butt, and he takes the stairs three at a time like he’s carrying a loaf of bread. I feel his muscles tighten around me. He must remember the layout up here, because he heads straight for my bedroom as if he knows the place.
“How did you know this is my room?” I ask after we enter and he puts me down on the bed.
“After we spoke that night in the hallway up here, you went in this direction. I turned back around to try and apologize again, so I went to find you. You were passed out sideways on your bed, already snoring. I snuck in and pulled a blanket over you. I stayed for a few moments and watched you sleep. All I could think of was how beautiful you were. It didn’t feel wrong while I was looking at you; it just felt good. My eyes didn’t leave your lovely face. Well, mostly.”
With that admission, he looks down at my chest. My shirt is showing a good bit of cleavage, and the lace from my bra is peeking out.
“If memory recalls, you were wearing a white tank top. When you laid down, it was a spectacular sight.”
He bends his head down to my chest, and begins gently kissing the top of my shirt where my bra is showing. He nibbles at the lace on top, and it’s driving me wild. It�
�s light enough that it teases and tickles, but it’s also warm and wanting. I feel his heart beating strongly against my torso as he leans closer to my body. He stops for a moment, and I feel him playing with my necklace. I haven’t said anything about the fact that I know it was his mother’s. I’ll wait until he feels ready to tell me.
His eyes travel from my necklace to my face. He’s still clutching the tiny peach between his fingers. His face lights up when our eyes connect, and I’d kill to know what he’s thinking. Whatever it is, it’s making him happy, and that’s all that matters. He leans into me again for a deep kiss. Mouths open, heads sideways, as deep as we can go. My insides are spinning; I almost feel drunk. I steal a quick peek at his face, and it’s intense. No more smiles, the man’s all business. Our hands furiously grasp for zippers and buttons, anything that is impeding us from being naked, skin-to-skin. Our clumsy attempt to remove each other’s clothing isn’t getting us any closer to our goal. We sit up and make serious work of finishing the job. Our lips crash back together and we gnash teeth as we resume our erotic make-out session. His soft lips do me in. I could kiss this man for an eternity, and still not want to come up for air.
We lay sideways on the pillows, and he opens his eyes. I think he’s going to talk again. He’s been sharing so much. He lovingly strokes my hair, and pushes it out of my eyes.
“I’ve missed you so much, Melanie. I think Jason and Katie are exhausted from me asking about you. When I thought you didn’t want to see me anymore, my heart was crushed. I’ve learned how to hide my emotions well over the years, but I couldn’t hide it around those two. They knew how much I missed you, but Katie encouraged me to wait. That little glimmer of hope was the only thing keeping me from pounding down your door. I wanted you to want me too. Did you think about me?”
He says it so quietly. He needs to know that his feelings are reciprocated. I’m sure the reason he didn’t do the girlfriend thing in college was that it would have required too much emotional effort he didn’t have to give. Even though his mother tried her best to give him love, the fact that his father and the rest of his family shunned him had to have had an impact on him. I’m sure that was part of the “fuck you” swagger he had in college. Reject them before they can reject you. It hurts less that way.
I don’t take any of that for granted, because I understand it. For him to go out on a limb and admit his feelings to me is huge. I’ll never underestimate his strength.
I lie still and take in this moment.
“I did think about you, Brian. You’ve been in my thoughts ever since that first night, too. Not just in a sexual way, although I really enjoyed those times, but every other minute of my day. I wake up with you on my mind, and I go to sleep with you, too. You’re in my dreams, and in my consciousness, and it feels as natural as breathing. Is that a good answer?”
He’s so cute. I see a small tear form in the corner of his eye near the pillow. He rolls his face into it and moans. I don’t think he wanted me to see it. He’s vulnerable, and that’s hard for some men to handle, especially someone like him and all he’s been through. I rub my hand in his hair, trying to get him to look up at me.
“Hey, now, don’t you hide that gorgeous face.“
He rolls his head back over, and he has a big smile on his face. I keep my hand in his hair.
“Did you mean all that?”
I nod up and down, and give him a smile that matches his. To my surprise, he wraps his arms around me, and snuggles me into the crook between his arm and chest. He combs my hair with his fingers, and closes his eyes. We were in the throws of passion just minutes ago, and now we’re lying here cuddling like we’ve finished making love. What gives?
“Did I miss something? Did I pass out and not remember some intense sex?”
He giggles, and snuggles me in deeper.
“Mel, this is the greatest day of my life, so far, at least. I’m not rushing through anything right now. As much as I want to devour you at this very moment…”
For emphasis he places my hand on his very erect cock. Lord help me.
“I need to just be with you. Every relationship I’ve ever had with a girl has just been about sex. I’ve never shared an intimate moment like this with anyone before. You have no idea how special this is for me. You’ve been in love before, I’m new at it.” He says with a touch of sadness in his voice. I know he means that he’s happy, but I think this is quite a wake-up call for him. He must have been so lonely for so long.
“It’s OK, I understand. And you’re right. I have said those words before, but they meant something much different than what I feel with you. With Jeff and Chris it was security. I thought that’s how life was supposed to go. You meet someone young, and you love them and have babies. With Caleb, I needed love so badly in my life, and I think he did too, that we rushed to make something happen that just wasn’t there. With you I feel like I finally understand what Katie and Jason have. I feel that way about you. I like you, and I love you.”
He pulls me tightly to his chest. I continue the move, and right myself on top of him. I pull my legs in close as I straddle him. He runs his fingers down my back, and my skin lights up. Every touch from him goes right to my core. He strokes so lightly, circling and teasing my nerves. I lean into his neck, and begin to use my tongue. I start behind his ear, and I exhale wet warmth against his skin as I lick my way around. His hands stop what they’re doing to take in the sensation. He’s right; I don’t want to rush. My tongue travels in and around his ear, and down his jawline. His thick stubble tickles as I push my way around it. I nibble with my teeth along his jaw and chin. I pause to reach up and kiss him lightly on each one of his closed eyes.
I go back to his thick, muscular neck. My hands follow the trail of my tongue, and massage the warmth and wetness into his skin. I want to make it all the way down to his toes and back up again. This could take all night. I want to show this man my love in the best way I know how. I lower my body slightly as I follow the path down to his chest. I run my fingers through his light chest hair, and my nails graze his skin. I’m trying to heighten his senses with my touch. I close my lips around his nipple, and aggressively flick it with my tongue. This makes his erection stand to attention. He lets out a low gasp, which heads straight for my crotch. I linger a minute, then I head to the other side. A little nip and I don’t think he can take it anymore. He sits up straight, and wraps my legs around his back. He positions my hips just right, and he enters me forcefully. He’s careful not to go too deep, the man is huge. His thick girth fills me snugly, and we sit still like this for the briefest of moments.
“Do you feel that, Melanie? I’ve never been this thick and full for anyone in my life. That’s how you affect me. I love you, baby.”
My whole body melts into his as he says those words. He pushes in deeper, and it’s the greatest feeling I’ve ever had. We truly feel like one person. He hugs me against his body tightly, and begins to thrust his hips. I don’t have to move, he’s doing everything. He reaches a steady, almost punishing, rhythm and I try hard not to give in to my impending orgasm, it feels too good. I want, no, need, this to last. I grab his face in my hands and kiss him as deeply as I physically can. I taste his salty face, wet with sweat, and I can’t get enough. Our lips are joined as his orgasm begins to rise. He moans and grunts into my mouth as we continue our kiss, and I don’t have to hold back any longer. I give into the sweet release as he continues to pump into me after he comes. We continue our steady rocking with each other; the closeness feels too good.
I keep my arms and legs wrapped tightly around his torso; I don’t want to let go. He lowers his body back down, slowly so we stay together, and I tilt so we’re back on our sides, facing one another. No words are needed now. We stare into each other’s eyes, until I no longer remember doing it. I wake up to him whispering to me.
“Hi, love. We’ve been sleeping for about an hour. You want to shower with me?”
He has that twinkle in his eye as
he kisses my forehead then hops out of bed. I think I could have stayed in here all night, and the next day. Screw the shower. Of course, I get to wash this gorgeous man’s body; so I’m in! I follow him to my bathroom, which is a mess. I have towels and clothes strewn about. I’m the only one who ever sees it, so I haven’t cared in a while. I try to side step him to gather things up and he stops me.
“No way, don’t you dare. I don’t want you to change a thing. I feel comfortable here, like this, with clothes on the floor. It’s real. My place has never felt like home because I’ve never put any heart into it. It’s just where I sleep. I never had much growing up so I don’t tend to accumulate things now. I love to see your clothes, dishes and the kids ball collections, it’s a real home. Come over here sexy.”
He approaches me with his arms out, and I happily walk into them as I kick a pile of wet towels to the side. I guess I should be grateful for the messes I don’t have time to clean. Kids, and other priorities mean I’m living a full life. He reaches down and squeezes my butt, then gives me a hearty slap.
“Sexy ladies first.”
He steps to the side so I can get in the shower first. I turn on the water, as he steps in behind me. My shower is big enough for a small village to bathe at the same time. The steam fills the open space and feels so good. He sits on the built in tile seat, and pulls me into his arms. I like this, because it makes us the same height and I can see deep into his eyes. He reaches down and picks up my body wash. He opens the top, and takes a deep sniff.
“Oh shit, it smells like you! I would make a joke about if someone could bottle you, and here you are! I’m going to have to take this when I go. I want to smell like you all the time.”
He squirts a large puddle of soap into his hands, rubs them together and starts at my shoulders. He’s washing and massaging at the same time. The heat from the shower makes the scent of the soap envelope us. He lingers over my breasts as he ensures each one is given proper care. He continues bathing me all the way down to my toes. I’ve never been this clean in my life! I stand under the spray to rinse, and he grabs the shampoo. I sit down on his lap, and he buries his soaped up hands in my hair. His fingers knead my scalp, and I almost fall over. It feels so good, and all the stress I’ve been harboring is melting and running right down the drain. This is the greatest feeling I’ve ever had outside the bed. It’s relaxing and exhilarating at the same time. I must be moaning, because he notices.
