Flutter
( My Blood Approves - 3 )
Аманда Хокинг
Flutter - the third book in the My Blood Approves series...
Being undead doesn't make life any easier for Alice Bonham.
Her younger brother's love life is heating up, while hers is... more complicated. Mae is falling apart, her best friend Jane is addicted to vampire bites, and if Alice doesn't get her bloodlust under control, someone will end up dead.
Alice volunteers for a rescue mission with Ezra. But going up against a pack of rabid vampires might be too much, even for him.
Chapter 1
He was supposed to be helping teach me chess, but I can’t really concentrate on anything. It was an extravagant glass set that my brother Milo set up in the living room hours ago, and he was still sitting in the corner, growing frustrated as the game drug on. He was a bit of an expert player, so he had offered to help teach me, and he had unwisely thought that it would be easier to teach me if he set me up against Jack.
Jack smiled at me from across the board, and any thoughts I had about the game were completely lost.
Since I had just made the transformation from average seventeen-year-old girl to full-fledged vampire three weeks ago, the ability to focus on anything had become much harder. Everything seemed to catch my attention, and Jack especially would always take over my mind.
My new senses were a hard thing to adjust to. The crystal chess pieces were probably lovely to human eyes, but with my eyes I could see the way the light shined off of every cell of it and all the tiny imperfections that made it glow even brighter. I would often find myself captivated by seemingly inconsequential things. It was like I had never seen anything.
Before I had turned, Jack’s brother Ezra had explained that turning into a vampire would be similar to being a toddler all over again, and that’s very true. The way babies just seem completely in awe of everything and can laugh for hours at the same things? I felt just like that.
By far, the thing that amazed me the most had to be Jack. When he moved his hand to touch a pawn, he inadvertently sends a breeze of his scent towards me, and I’m filled with the light, tangy smell of him and his blood, which always makes my mouth water. He looks even more attractive than I could ever imagine, and I’ve spent far too many hours just gaping at him lately, but he seems happy to oblige.
“Ahem,” Milo cleared his throat more loudly than necessary.
In all honesty, he could grab my attention by just changing the way he breathed. Every sound is so much more magnified than it was before. While I couldn’t exactly hear a butterfly flapping its wings, my hearing had greatly improved. When it came to heart beats and blood, my ears were particularly sensitive.
I apologized as pushed my dark hair behind my ears, and I was still unable to ignore how much silkier it felt. I lowered my eyes from Jack’s playful grin, or I would just keep getting sucked into gazing at him like a ridiculous school girl.
“You said you wanted to play chess!” Milo grumbled.
He was sitting behind us, perched in an over stuffed chair with one of his legs hanging over the arm.
In human years, he was two and a half years younger than me, but in vampire time he was actually over a month older than me. Still, a month doesn’t give him that much expertise on vampirism, but he played the part very well. The change sat with him immensely. With dark, wide eyes, he managed to look deep and mysterious, while has a human, he had just looked innocent and naive.
“I know, I know,” I admitted sheepishly, and my embarrassment amused Jack. Knowing this, I refused to look at him. “Just go over what a rook is one more time.”
“You’re not even trying at all, Alice,” Milo sighed, and he was throwing in the towel.
“Be serious,” Jack chimed in, his tone very dutiful.
Meanwhile, under the glass chess table, he had started brushing his foot against my leg, trying to get me to pay attention to him. It had never even wavered from him, but anything less than constant contact felt a little weird anymore. Our relationship currently bordered on unhealthy obsession, but that had a lot to do with me turning and our recent bonding, and everyone assured it us that it would eventually lessen to an acceptable level.
His touch, even through a sock against my calf, did insane things to me. Touching anything felt better than it had ever had before, so taking something that had always effected me wonderfully and magnifying that was insane. My heart fluttered unabashedly, but at least I could hear his reciprocate for a change.
“Okay, I totally know what you’re doing,” Milo pointed out, sounding disgusted.
“Sorry!” I repeated and quickly pulled my leg back so Jack couldn’t touch it.
“You’re no fun,” Jack grumbled but made no attempt to touch me again.
Ezra insisted that we keep some distance for awhile. My emotions tended to get the best of me, and if were to do anything heated, things would very easily get out of control. Anything passionate, like hunger or lust, tended to over power any sense of reason, and there would be a very good chance that I could actually accidentally kill Jack if were to get frisky. So, we almost constantly had baby-sitters, in the form of Milo, Ezra, or Ezra’s wife Mae.
Jack rather smartly decided that he probably wasn’t the best one to tell help teach me the game, so he bowed out and let Milo take his place. Milo attempted to explain the rules to me for the fiftieth time today while Jack made himself comfortable in the chair across the room. His giant white Great Pyrenees, Matilda, brought her rope over to him so he would play with her, and even though he had moved far from us, my attention remained fixed on him.
Without on effort on my part, my body would automatically tilt towards him. My ears were tuned into the slow, subtle sound of his heartbeat, and I could smell him from a hundred feet away.
Since I had turned, everything about me had been set on the Jack frequency, and everyone kept promising that it would fade to more livable extent. As it was, I could hardly sleep during the day because I was up in his room, and he was down in the den, and my body insisted that was much too far away from him.
“Alice!” Milo snapped his fingers in front of my face, trying to draw my eyes away from Jack. “I’m going to send him out of the room if you don’t knock it off.”
“Sorry!” I repeated for the millionth time, and Jack laughed softly, and that did nothing to help the situation.
With sandy, permanently disheveled hair, dancing blue eyes, and flawless, tan skin, Jack was attractive in his own right (even more attractive to me than he probably was to anybody else), but it was his amazing that laughter that always bowled me over. It was the clearest, most perfect sound I had ever heard, and I just melted whenever I heard it.
“Oh, that’s it.” Milo stood up, preparing to make good on his threat, but Jack’s eldest brother, Ezra, walked into the living room, interrupting his plans.
Ezra had presence like no other. He carried himself with such confident dignity, it was hard to disagree or disregard anything he said. Handsome in a way that only a vampire could be, his blond hair fell across his forehead, and his warm, russet eyes were unnaturally anxious. Mae stood close behind, and her usual happy demeanor had been replaced by a fretful gaze at Ezra. She was literally wringing her hands when they walked into the living room.
“There’s been some trouble,” Ezra explained evenly in his deep voice, edged with his faded British accent. As always, he tried not to betray any of the anxiety he felt, but for once, I could hear how his heart sped up, much quicker than a vampire’s heart normally beat. “I’ve got to go take care of some things.”
“What trouble? What are you talking about?” Milo questioned, and his voice raised an octave, the way it did when he was
nervous. When he had first turned, I had been afraid he would lose some of his human traits, but for the most part, they seemed intact.
Ezra exchanged a look with Mae, debating how much he should tell us, but she shook her head noncommittally. Jack had dropped the rope, and Matilda kept pushing it against his hand to get him to play with her again, but he ignored her. His gaze was firmly fixed on Ezra, and he was starting to get an idea of what this was all about, and his eyes hardened.
“Peter,” Ezra replied finally.
At the mention of his brother’s name, Jack’s entire body tensed so tightly that he frightened Matilda away. I was still surprised at how little I felt when the topic of Peter was brought up. For so long, I had been so completely effected it by that that the something I still felt for him was nothing in comparison. The painful bond I had with Peter no longer existed, but I doubted that I could ever entirely sever my feelings for him.
“Is he coming back?” Milo had instinctively moved closer to me, as if I still needed protection.
Jack dropped his eyes to the floor, and I could feel him battling to keep his anger under control. Even though Peter hadn’t been that much of a threat to me, Jack would never forgive him for nearly killing me when I had been mortal. Somehow, I had never really faulted Peter for that, though, and with me being immortal now, I certainly didn’t feel like Peter was a danger, not to me or to the rest of the family.
“No, he’s not coming back,” Ezra shook his head, but kept his eyes on Jack, gauging his reaction to the news. “I don’t think he’ll ever come back.”
“He won’t if he knows what’s good for him,” Jack growled in a voice so low it barely sounded like his own.
“Jack, he’s still your brother,” Mae reminded him softly, her gentle accent trying to calm him.
“He was never my brother!” Jack rolled his eyes and leaned back in the chair.
Peter was 150 years older than Jack, so they weren’t related in human sense of the word.
Peter had been the one to turn Jack, though, so his blood had become fused to Jack’s, creating a bond between them that was much stronger than any normal familial bond. Before that, Ezra had turned Peter, making a bond between the three of them that had been strong and steadfast until I entered the picture. My blood had been meant for Peter, but my heart seemed meant for Jack, and a terrible rift tore the family apart.
It was something I had never wanted and I fought against it, but my feelings for both them of were too overwhelming to ignore.
“It doesn’t matter how you feel about him,” Ezra told him firmly, but there was an underlying hurt that Jack hated Peter so much. Ezra cared for both of them, for all of us really, but Peter had helped him through very trying times before the family existed. “He’s in very real danger, and I’ve got to go help him.”
“What kind of danger?” I asked, and I felt Jack’s eyes flit over to me but I refused to look back at him.
I just kept my eyes on Ezra and tried not to let any concern show.
“He’s…” Ezra furrowed his brow deeply. “He’s killing vampires.”
“Yeah, that sounds like Peter,” Jack muttered.
“I thought he’d gone off the grid,” I said, and Jack scoffed at me.
Three weeks ago, Jack had turned me into a vampire, and then Peter had taken off. This was actually something Peter did quite frequently, but usually Ezra had a way of getting in touch with him. This time, though, Peter had completely disappeared, and despite his best attempts, Ezra had been unable to reach him.
“He has. Word has just been traveling down that Peter has been getting himself into trouble,” Ezra elaborated. “And I just got a phone call that vampires are seeking revenge on him. So I’m going to try and find him and see if I can’t reason with him.”
“He can handle himself,” Jack sneered at everyone’s concern. “Peter’s killed vampires before, and he’s fought in wars. If there’s one thing Peter knows, it’s how to fight.”
“This is different.” Ezra’s eyes grew sad and faraway. “There’s reason to believe he’s on a suicide mission.”
“Good,” Jack grunted under his breath.
“I’ll go with you.” Abruptly, I stood up and knocked over the chess board. I hadn’t yet gotten a handle on my movements, and I still had the unfortunate habit of knocking things over and tripping a lot. It was so much easier to move, and my mind hadn’t caught up to what my body could do.
“You’ll what?” Jack raised an eyebrow but looked at me evenly, and he didn’t believe that he’d heard me correctly. We hadn’t talked about Peter at all since I had turned, but he had incorrectly assumed that my feelings for Peter almost entirely mirrored his own.
“I’ll go with,” I repeated. I bent down to try and pick up the chess pieces and clean up the mess I had made, but Milo swatted my hands away.
“I’ll do it,” Milo insisted, sounding rather irritated as he pulled glass pawns out of my hand.
“You get busy letting them talk sense into you.”
“Alice,” Jack said simply. His expression remained mostly quizzical, but his breathing had gotten heavier, and he was starting to catch onto the fact that he hadn’t misheard me and this wasn’t a joke.
I stood up, watching Milo dumbly for a minute as he swiftly picked up my mess, and then swallowed hard when I looked up at Ezra and Mae. Mae’s worry only deepened when she thought of me going with Ezra, but he actually looked rather intrigued and pleased by the idea.
Very recently, I had talked to Ezra about Peter briefly. I was afraid that talking about him too much upset Jack somehow, so I let the topic die almost as soon as I brought up. The horrible reality was that part of me did still care for Peter, and not because it was ingrained in me to feel that way. Peter hadn’t done anything wrong in all of this, but he had been ostracized by his family and had gone through a terrible heartbreak because of it - because of me - and that wasn’t something that I took lightly.
“Alice, you don’t need to go with,” Mae shook her head. She cared about Peter, but she didn’t want any of us in harms way, especially Milo and I, who she perceived to be particularly vulnerable.
“I know I wouldn’t be any good in a fight, but maybe I could reason with him. Maybe I could convince him that it didn’t need to get to that point,” I continued nervously. All their eyes were on me, and except for Ezra’s, they were all incredibly disapproving.
Mae turned expectantly to Ezra, waiting for him to shoot me down, and I think that’s the only reason that Jack hadn’t started freaking out yet. They all expected Ezra to thank me for my sentiments but tell me that it was better if I stayed home. Taking a baby vampire into a war zone would be dangerous and irrational, and Ezra was nothing if not cautious and logical.
“She has a point,” Ezra admitted carefully, and that’s when everybody decided to get upset.
Mae touched his arm gently and tried to plead with him that I was far too young to do go anywhere for any reason, let alone on a crusade to save Peter from a suicide mission. Jack jumped to his feet, but he couldn’t seem to decide whether he was angrier with me or Ezra, or maybe Peter. Milo had just finished setting up the chess set, and he smacked me on the arm.
“Ow!” I scowled, rubbing my arm. “What’d you do that for?”
“Because you’re an idiot and I can!” Milo glowered at me. He had always been a rather overprotective younger brother, but he was the mature one, the sensible one, and he never failed to call me out on something completely idiotic.
The thing is that I knew it was idiotic, but as soon as Ezra had said that Peter was in danger, my heart had flipped. If anything bad happened to him, I couldn’t help but feel responsible. If I had just left his family alone, the way he had repeatedly begged me to, then he wouldn’t have gotten hurt and had to run off into the mess that he’s in. Thinking of him being hurt and in trouble made me feel nauseous and scared, and I knew I had to do something to help him.
“Ezra, you can’t seriously be
thinking of taking her with you,” Jack said as evenly as he could.
His fists were clenched at his sides, but his eyes were just frightened and distressed. It killed him that I cared anything for Peter, and it would literally kill him if anything happened to me. He wasn’t trying to contain his anger as much as trying to mask his panic over losing me, either to Peter or to death.
“I won’t let anything happen to her, but she might be the best chance I have for talking Peter down from the ledge.” Ezra held his hands palm out towards Jack, trying to calm him, but that would mostly be impossible. “I have to try anything.”
“I am so sick of this!” Jack shouted, exasperated. “I should’ve just killed him when I had the chance!”
“Jack!” Mae chided him. “You don’t mean that! Don’t say things like that!”
Her warm maternal concern only lightly covered her own fear over everything. While she didn’t want anything bad to happen to anyone, she was become increasingly distanced from Peter. He was driving a wedge in the family, and she thought that he might physically harm the most defenseless of her brood, namely Jack, Milo, and me.
“I would love to stay and have this argument with you, but we really need to get on a flight out of here!” Ezra boomed over us all. “Alice, if you’re coming with, you need to pack for the cold.
I’ll go book the flight and get our passports ready.” Ezra turned to walk down the hall to his den, ending the conversation.
“Ezra!” Jack shouted and made a step after him, but Mae stopped him.
“I’ll talk to him,” Mae assured him meekly. “You take care of her.” She nodded towards me but didn’t look directly at anyone, probably because she was trying to keep the tears standing in her eyes instead of falling down her cheeks.
Mae hurried after Ezra, and Jack turned to me. His face was a mixture of rage, terror, jealousy, and underlying everything, love. He looked at me for a moment, trying to think of precisely what he wanted to say to me, and I took a deep breath before he could mount his argument.
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