“You think?” I look over at her.
“I know she would.”
“She’s nothing like Lily.”
“And that’s okay,” my mom says. “I think it might even be good. You and Lily had something special, but you can have something else with Renee that can also be special, in its own way.”
I sigh heavily. “I feel so damn guilty sometimes. I promised to love Lily forever, and it feels like I’m betraying her.”
“Oh, Jonah. You can love her and still move on and love Renee, too. Lily would want that for you.”
“Sometimes I think that, but sometimes…”
“Guilt creeps in,” my mom finishes.
“Yeah.”
She wraps her arms around herself to block out the chill in the air, saying, “Lily has been gone for three years now. I loved her very much, but I don’t feel guilty welcoming Renee and opening my heart to her, too. You once told me that playing pro hockey is a privilege, and you never want to take it for granted. Love is a privilege, too. It doesn’t come knocking every day.”
“I guess I never thought of it that way.”
She stands up and says, “Come back in, honey. Let me enjoy seeing my baby happy again. I’ve been waiting for it a long time.”
I stand up and join her, saying, “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you, too. And I have to say, I thought I knew you so well, but I never imagined you wanting to be called pookie.”
Laughing, I say, “Well, Rey brings out my soft side, I guess.”
“Rey? I thought her name was Renee.”
Shit.
“It is, I just call her Rey for short sometimes.”
“Oh.”
“Did you make pecan pie?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
“Of course I did.”
“Perfect.”
Logan runs past us with Julia on his back as soon as we get in the house, both of them yelling like banshees. My mom stopped asking about grandkids after I told my parents that Lily and I were struggling with infertility. And Logan’s not getting married anytime soon, he likes his freedom too much.
I figured kids weren’t in the cards for me after Lily died. I thought the same about remarrying, or even loving a woman again. But maybe, I realize as I walk into the kitchen and see Rey grinning at my Aunt Jackie, I was wrong.
Chapter Eighteen
Jonah
Darren Shields is a fucking creep.
It’s all I can do to keep my expression neutral as he touches Rey again—this time putting his arm around her waist to hug her close to him as they both laugh about something he just said.
It wasn’t even funny. And I can tell from the fire in Rey’s eyes that she wants to punch Shields in the face as much as I do.
I’m imagining how great that would feel when he steps away from Rey and says to me, “Hey Jonah, another drink?”
“Sure, thanks.”
He pastes on that slimy grin of his and says, “My plan is to get enough bourbon in you that you don’t notice if Tori gets in bed with you tonight and Renee ends up in my bed.”
I laugh, but only because I have to. Rey’s giggling like it’s the funniest fucking thing she’s ever heard. Shields’s girlfriend Tori, who looks maybe twenty and is at least two decades younger than him, just stands there smiling and looking compliant.
His nose would make a satisfying crunch beneath my fist if I could just get in one hit. Just one, that’s all I’d need to knock that cocksucker flat on his ass.
“How are you, baby?” Rey asks, coming over to sit next to me on an outdoor loveseat on the deck of Shields’s massive beach house.
“I’m hanging out in paradise with you,” I say, putting an arm around her shoulders. “I couldn’t be better.”
Shields may be an asshole, but he’s a very rich one. His ultra-modern beach house has to be at least 10,000 square feet, with multiple decks showcasing the million-dollar ocean view. We arrived yesterday and spent the evening partying on a yacht owned by one of his friends, and tonight he’s hosting more friends for a luau-style party.
He ought to be the pig getting roasted on a spit tonight, but I have to remember that his day is coming. The more I help Rey sell her cover story and get closer to him, the better her chances of putting him behind bars. No one has ever deserved a warm welcome from his fellow inmates more than this douchebag.
A few minutes later, Shields’s housekeeper comes out with a tray of fresh drinks and a plate of snacks. Her hair is in disarray and he’s looking extra satisfied with himself, so I’m guessing he uses her for more than just food and drinks.
Of course the bourbon is top shelf, and it goes down easy. I figure if I have to pretend to like the fucker, I’m gonna drink as much of his expensive bourbon as I can while I’m here.
I’ve been sneaking big gulps of Rey’s fruity hurricanes as often as possible, too. She told me she doesn’t want to get tipsy enough to let her guard down while undercover, so I’m doing what I can to help out.
“You like those girly drinks, Jonah?” Shields asks me, cringing.
“Only when they taste like her,” I say, looking at Rey.
She puts a hand on my inner thigh and squeezes gently, making my cock twitch beside her fingers. I’m hungry for more of the sex we had last night—hot and hard, but laced with the occasional laugh and tender touch.
My family loves her. My mom got tearful when she pulled me aside on Thanksgiving and told me how happy it made her to see love in my eyes for Rey and the same in hers for me. I don’t know if Rey’s just that good at faking it, or if she really does have feelings, like I do.
This is what she does all the time, though. She moves from assignment to assignment, assuming whatever persona she needs to in order to get the bad guys. I’ve got no reason to believe I mean more to her than anyone else she’s worked with, but I’d like to hope I do.
“You need a refill, Renee?” Shields asks, pointing at her and then at his housekeeper.
“Absolutely,” Rey says, holding up her glass.
“I’ll bring a fresh one,” the housekeeper replies, turning toward the house.
I continue guzzling both Rey’s drink and my own, and I’m tipsy by the time Shields’s other friends start arriving. Rey and I meet an NFL player and his wife, a few wealthy business owners and even an actual princess. I wonder with every hand I shake which of these people, if any, know the real Darren Shields.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” Rey murmurs to me when it’s starting to get late.
I nod and take her hand, leading her through the crowd to the beach house door. I’ve been going with her to the bathroom all night and waiting outside the door, because I have a feeling Shields will corner her if she’s alone, and she can’t blow him off while staying on his good side.
“There’s a lot of alcohol in me right now,” I tell Rey as we walk up an open staircase to the second floor of the house, where our bedroom and bathroom for the weekend are located.
She looks at me, amused. “Yes, I think that’s a fair statement.”
The guest room we’re staying in has a spectacular ocean view and a balcony. Once we’re in the room, Rey locks the door behind us and walks toward the bathroom. I’m heading over to the French doors that lead to the balcony when she stops me.
“That’s not a good idea right now,” she says. “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll be right back? Maybe have some water.”
I nod, going over to the mini fridge and taking entirely too long to get out a bottle of water. Things are a little fuzzy right now. Thinking about it reminds me of a song from my childhood about Grover on Sesame Street being fuzzy and blue, so I flop onto the bed and sing that song.
Rey’s laughing as she comes out of the bathroom. “So you’re a cute drunk.”
“I’m cute all the time,” I say, looking up at her and patting my lap. “Hop on and see.”
She lies down beside me, curling into my side and whispering in my ear.
“Don’t say anything. I’ll be right back and I need you to stay here.”
I turn to face her, suddenly not having so much fun anymore. I lower my brows to communicate my concern since she told me not to say anything. She leans in and whispers again.
“Just trust me. I know what I’m doing.”
I sit up and give her a stern frown, because even though I’m drunk as fuck, I can still see where this is going. Rey is going to snoop through Shields’s shit, and either he’ll catch her and be furious or he’ll corner her and try to get in her pants.
Either way, I’m not cool with being here instead of with her. She leans in one more time.
“I trust you, Jonah. Do the same for me. This is important.”
After a heavy sigh, I nod. Rey nods back and moves to get up from the bed, but I take her hand and bring it to my lips, kissing her knuckles as I meet her eyes.
Her lips curve up in a tiny smile and I know she hears my unspoken words—be careful.
I watch as she leaves the room, and then I suddenly feel sober as fuck. Taking my bottle of water out to the balcony, I sip it and look down at the luau. It makes me feel a little better that I can see Shields on the beach talking to some people. His arms are wrapped around two women, neither of them his girlfriend.
He’s an absolute joke of a human being. I can’t wait to get out of here tomorrow, and I dread socializing with him again. But it’s what we have to do, so I’ll manage. It’s not like I can let Rey do any of this alone. Shields invited us to join him on his yacht in the south of France next weekend, but I have games. We’ll have to play nice enough that we get another invite, shitty as that is.
I’ve just finished my water when I see Shields walking toward the beach house. He disappears beneath me, heading in the direction of the door. My heart pounds with worry for Rey, and I take out my phone, considering texting her.
I know I shouldn’t, though. Any traceable communication could break her cover. She’s a federal agent, and I shouldn’t be interfering with her work anymore than she should be telling me how to goaltend.
But fuck, it’s hard. I can’t bear the thought of Shields laying so much as a finger on her, whether she can handle it or not. And if she’s discovered searching through his office or anywhere else, who knows what he’s capable of.
I walk over to the door and open it, squaring my shoulders as I head down to the main level of the house. I trust Rey, but I have to do something.
“Jonah,” Shields says, looking completely lit as he clinks a few ice cubes into his glass, a couple of them landing on the kitchen counter. “Where’s your better half?”
“Bathroom, I think. Hopefully getting into something sexy for bedtime.”
He gives a groan of approval. “You are a lucky man, my friend.”
“Hey, you’re pretty lucky yourself, you’ve got Tori.”
He shrugs. “She’s hot, but she doesn’t have the same…something that Renee does.”
“She’s one of a kind,” I agree.
Shields takes a big sip of his drink and glances around the room. I don’t like it; I feel like he could go looking around the house at any moment.
“Hey, can I get one of those?” I point at his drink.
“Absolutely. This is good shit, isn’t it?”
He walks over to a cabinet and takes out a glass.
“The best. You don’t do anything halfway, Darren. This whole place is absolutely amazing.”
It’s painful for me to kiss this piece of shit’s ass, but if it buys Rey some time, I’ll get on my knees and bow to him if I have to.
“Glad you like it.” He adds ice cubes to my glass and follows them with a generous pour of bourbon. “Maybe next time you can bring some teammates. The ones who like to party, I mean.”
“Yeah, definitely.”
“I’ve got some great vintage Blaze memorabilia in my home office here. You want to see it?”
Shields is slurring his words, and I feel like if I can just keep him drinking, he may pass out before long. I don’t want to risk going into his office, though, because Rey could be in there.
“I do, but hey, can I ask you real quick about those twins you were talking to earlier?”
“Ellie and Emery? The blonds?”
“Yeah, yeah, them. How old are they?”
Shields shrugs. “Does it matter?”
I laugh with him, though my urge to punch him is stronger than ever.
“They like to party,” he says. “You want me to set something up for you with them?”
“Nah, I was thinking about my teammate Kit. He’s single.”
Shields gestures widely with his arms. “Everyone’s single here, Jonah. It’s a beautiful thing.”
“Hey now,” Rey says lightly from behind me. “My man’s all mine.”
I relax with relief as I turn to see her approaching us with a smile.
“There you are, babe,” I say.
“I was looking for you. I’m ready for bed,” she says.
I down the last sip of my drink and tell Shields, “She’s the boss. Night, man.”
As he pours himself another drink, he says, “Brunch at 11:00 tomorrow morning, guys. We’ll fly out around 1:00.”
“See you then,” Rey says, slipping her hand into mine.
We make small talk about the beach house decor on the way up the stairs, but once the door is closed behind us, I give Rey an expectant look. She nods. Whatever she was doing, it went well.
I don’t know which of us moves first, but an instant later she’s in my arms. I kiss her deeply, adrenaline still pumping through my veins. She tears at my clothes and I tug on hers, both of us getting off just enough before we land on the bed and she moves to straddle me.
Not this time, though. I wrap an arm around her and flip her onto her back, needing to be the one in control. I’m deep inside her with the first thrust, and she wraps her legs around my waist and rocks her hips greedily.
It doesn’t take long for us to fall apart at the same time, my face buried in her neck as I groan with my release. She keeps her arms wrapped tightly around me after, and we stay like that until she wriggles free and walks to the bathroom.
Once back, she snuggles against me and I close my eyes, finally relaxing. She’s okay. And we’re getting the hell out of here tomorrow, not a moment too soon.
Chapter Nineteen
Rey
“That’s really incredible, Kai.” I admire the pink glittery makeup swirling around his eyes in a perfect pattern. “It’s…artistic.”
“Thanks, sis, but we can talk about that anytime. Stay focused. I can tell you’re falling for Jonah. What are you going to do when this mission is over?”
We’re facing each other in the soundproof booth in his apartment, finally able to speak freely. And he’s using the opportunity to drill me with questions about Jonah.
“Mission?” I quip. “You’re making this sound so glamorous, I feel like I’m in a Tom Cruise movie.”
“Stop avoiding the subject before I cut you,” he says sharply.
“Fine, okay.” I roll my eyes. “I like him, yeah. But when the job is done, I’ll get assigned somewhere else. And I don’t know, maybe Jonah and I will…keep in touch.”
Kai shakes his head. “Jobs come and go, babe. But love doesn’t.”
“Who said anything about love?” I ask defensively. “I like him, but he’s not looking for anything serious.”
“You guys have talked about it?”
I glare at him. “No. Obviously, we can’t. Or, if we did, neither one of us would know if it was real or fake.”
“This is some bullshit. You two need to get inside this booth and have some real talk. And maybe some sex, too. But make sure you sanitize the walls if you do.”
I laugh and say, “We’re not having sex in here, Kai. It’s too small, and it’s just…walls.”
“Wall sex can be really good.”
“Bed sex is better.”
His eyes wide
n and he points at me. “So you admit you guys are having sex!”
“I never denied it.”
“But you never said it, either. OMG!”
I put a hand on his shoulder and say, “You seriously need to leave this apartment. Just for a few hours. We can go get groceries or something.”
“Eww, why would I do that when I can have them delivered?”
“Kai,” I scold. “You are too beautiful and vibrant to spend all your time holed up in here. You’re safe with me.”
He shakes his head and says, “I’m happy here, leave me be. And you can’t break out your Chuck Norris cop moves when you’re supposed to be a beauty writer, by the way.”
The police don’t have any leads on the guys who assaulted Kai. They did an exhaustive search for security camera footage from the area around the club that night, but didn’t come up with anything.
“I’m not going to stand by and let anyone hurt you,” I assure him. “It’s just not who I am. I’ll whip ass with my handbag if that’s what it takes to keep my cover.”
“I know, girl.” He smiles sadly. “I’m just not ready.”
I nod, hating the situation my friend is in. Kai told me the other night that it’s not so much a fear of those specific guys who beat him up, but a general one. Not everyone accepts him as he is, which makes me wish I could kick the asses of every individual who treats him as less than.
“I know I’m living vicariously through you, but right now, it’s all I have besides my channel.”
Kai took a break from his makeup videos while his face healed enough for him to cover the injuries with makeup. He said he didn’t want to draw even more attention to himself by going public about the attack.
He feels shame. That breaks my heart and infuriates me at the same time, because the only ones who should feel shame are the guys who attacked him.
“I care about Jonah a lot,” I admit to Kai. “More than I was expecting to.”
“He cares about you, too. I can tell.”
Jonah: A Chicago Blaze Hockey Romance Page 12
