It’s December 23, and this is our last practice before our holiday break. We were one of the lucky teams that didn’t end up being scheduled to play on Christmas. No one’s heart really seems to be in it though; even our coaches are checking their watches, eager to get out of here.
“Fuck you, asshole,” Knox growls at someone.
Or maybe everyone. He’s in a piss poor mood after having a prank played on him by Vic earlier. When Knox reached into a cooler for a water bottle, he instead came within about an inch of a real, coiled up ball python Vic put in the cooler.
Everyone got a laugh out of seeing brooding, burly Knox jump and yell when he saw the snake. Hell, even I enjoyed it, and I haven’t enjoyed much of anything since Rey left.
I’ve ordered Cuban food a couple times in the past three weeks just because it reminds me of her. I sit alone in my kitchen and eat it, looking at the empty chair on the other side of the table and wishing she was there.
I finally had the alone thing down. It took me a long time to get there, but I was okay with it. And then Rey came along with her big laugh and gorgeous smile and blew it all to shreds.
“You coming tonight?” Luca asks me as he skates nearby.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”
Luca and Abby are hosting a big holiday party for our whole team, as well as the staff and their families. The other single guys will either bring dates or hope a few of Abby’s single friends are there. But me, I’ll just be the melancholy, recently dumped guy nursing a beer in the corner.
There’s no way the guys will let me out of going, though. If I try to skip out, someone will show up at my apartment to drag me there, so I might as well just go.
As far as everyone knows, Rey ended things with me and moved away. I didn’t even bother to pretend it was a mutual parting, because at least this way people will leave me the fuck alone and not ask so many questions.
It’s enough to have to deal with the photographers still stalking me. The headlines add salt to my still open wound, all some variation of Jonah West heartbroken again.
Pretty much. But damn, it would be nice to not have photos of my sorry ass looking pissed off and forlorn all over the internet. My mom calls just about every day to see how I am, and she doesn’t believe me when I tell her I’m okay.
I am okay. Or at least, I will be. What choice do I have? I’ve got to move forward, and hope the pain fades sooner rather than later.
“Hey Jonah,” Anton calls across the ice.
I look in his direction, trying to figure out what he wants. He’s gesturing at the stands and when I skate over there to see what he’s pointing at, I can’t believe my eyes.
Rey is sitting in the front row. She stands as I approach, and I point down to the end of the rink where there’s a gate I can go through.
I don’t have guards for my skate blades, so I bend down and unlace them as fast as my fingers will move.
“You look beautiful,” I tell Rey, looking up at her.
Her hair is dark again, like it was that first time I met her in Logan’s office, and it’s swept back into one of her smooth chignons. She’s wearing jeans, a red sweater, tall black boots and a gray wool jacket.
“Thanks,” she says, grinning. “God, it’s good to see you, Jonah.”
“You too. Been about a year, hasn’t it?”
I get my skates off and stand up as she says, “It sure feels like it.”
She jumps into my arms and I embrace her as hard as I can while covered in practice gear.
“Sorry, I’m sweaty,” I say.
“I don’t care.”
I kiss the top of her head and she looks up at me, her mahogany eyes bright.
“Tell me you’re staying for at least one night,” I say softly.
“I was actually thinking I’d stay a lot longer.”
I don’t breathe as her words sink in, finally managing to ask, “Are you fucking serious, Rey?”
She nods. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but I figured it was best to wait until it was finalized. I’m transferring to the Chicago office to take a new job heading up a sex crimes task force. No more undercover work. It’s actually a promotion.”
My heart takes flight as I pull her into my arms and lift her off her feet. She puts her palms on my face and kisses me, and I feel like a little bitch as hot tears prick my eyes.
“I missed you so much,” she says, resting her forehead against mine.
She sniffles and I realize she’s crying, too. But she breaks into a huge grin when she looks over and sees my entire team standing at the edge of the rink watching us. From just a few feet away, they’re eavesdropping on every detail of our conversation, and I don’t even care.
Actually, I kind of love them for it.
“She’s staying!” I tell them, and the guys erupt into cheers.
Rey kisses me again and asks, “Are you going to put me down now?”
“No. I don’t think I’m ever gonna do that, actually.”
She laughs as I lower her feet back to the ground and the guys return to practice, the mood light.
“What do I tell people?” I ask her in a low tone. “About your job, I mean.”
“I’m not working undercover anymore, so you can tell them I’m an FBI agent. My bosses already know it would get back to Shields. I’ll have to be extra careful for a while.”
I frown, concerned. “Are you in danger?”
“I don’t think so. Don’t worry, okay? I know how to be careful and the bureau is watching out for me, too.”
“Guess I shouldn’t ask for details about what that means?” I quirk a brow at her.
“You can ask, but I won’t answer.” She shrugs and smiles.
“This is for sure, right? I mean, no one can change their mind or anything?”
“It’s for sure. My transfer order was expedited. Apparently my bosses think I did a pretty good job on my last assignment and deserved to move up.”
“You kicked ass, babe.”
She reaches up to touch my cheek. “It’s time for someone else to do that job, because I want…Jonah, I want to really try with you. With us. I want to have a normal relationship. I’ve never had that before. It was a big leap of faith for me to come back here, because I don’t know if you’re as serious about us as I am.”
I put my hands on her waist and say, “Yeah, you do, babe. You know.”
“It’s hard for me to believe,” she admits.
“I get that. But I want this, too. I’ve only loved two women in my life, and until you showed up here, I thought I’d lost them both. I’m made to be faithful, Rey. To love one woman with everything I’ve got. So I’m in. All in, okay?”
She smiles and nods, tears falling onto her cheeks.
“I usually don’t cry,” she says, wiping her cheeks. “Between this time and last time we saw each other, you must think I’m downright weepy. But I just need to say I’m still a badass.”
“The baddest ass there ever was.”
“I’m moving back in with Kai for now,” she says. “I may get my own place at some point, but for now, he wants me there and I love being his roommate.”
“Good. I’m not sure you’ll make it into your own place, but I know it makes you feel better to say that, so I’ll humor you.”
“You think I’ll live with Kai forever?” Rey asks with an amused grin.
“No, I think you’ll be living with me before long.”
Her lips part with surprise. “Oh, really?”
“Yep.”
“Well, I just moved back about five minutes ago. You might be sick of me in about a month.”
I pull her into my arms. “I doubt that, babe. You just made me the happiest man in Chicago.”
“Am I keeping you from practice? I thought about going to your place later instead of coming here, but I just couldn’t wait.”
“Fuck practice.” I glance over and see that the guys are all standing around talking. “It’s over anyway.”
“So…what now?” she asks. “Do you want to get together tonight?”
“We’re going to a holiday party at Luca and Abby’s tonight. Tell Kai he’s invited, too. I’m going to get a quick shower and then we can decide what to do this afternoon.”
“Okay. So then…we’re official? We’re doing this thing?”
I brush my thumb over her jawline. “We’re doing this thing, babe.”
“I’m so fucking happy,” she says, grinning and biting her lip.
“Get used to it. I plan to keep you that way for a very long time.”
My world just suddenly went from bleak to bright, and I realize as I look at Rey that when people say life can change in an instant, they usually mean for the worst. I’ve sure as hell been through that.
Life can also change for the better when you aren’t expecting it, though. I never saw love coming, but it found me, and I plan to enjoy every last second.
Epilogue
Rey
One month later
“Oh my god, I would pee my pants so hard,” Kai says, cringing. “Did you see the blood flying out of his nose just now? Someone needs to get him an ice pack.”
I shake my head. “They’ll go back to playing in a minute.”
“What are the refs even for? They’re just letting that guy get punched!”
“He deserves it,” I point out. “That guy checked Luca from behind, so now Knox is settling the score.”
“Okay, well…that’s kinda hot, I guess.”
Mia leans forward in her seat in the Blaze family box, where Kai is sitting in between her and me.
“You need to bring him to every game from now on. He’s a fucking stitch.”
Kai smiles at her. “Thanks, girl. It’s pretty intense seeing it in person instead of on TV.”
We’re watching a Saturday night game between Chicago and St. Louis, and I think Kai is really enjoying being out. Since I moved back, I’ve slowly gotten him to get out of the apartment. We started small, with grocery shopping and walks around the neighborhood, and lately we’ve been doing more.
Last night Jonah took me and Kai out for dinner at a new sushi restaurant, and we all had an amazing time. A couple of Kai’s followers recognized him and asked for photos, and he happily obliged them.
“Do you want some more of those nachos?” I ask Kai.
“I would die for more of those nachos. That cheese sauce is life.”
I ask the server working our booth to hook us up with more nachos and root beer, always my go-to at games. I come to every home Blaze game and have even started a pretty impressive collection of team shirts and hats.
“Oh! Go, go go!” Kai yells as Anton moves the puck down the ice.
“Go, baby!” Mia yells.
We get up from our seats as Anton battles a St. Louis player for control of the puck and then shoots it into the net, lighting up the red lamp.
Kai’s expression is joyful as we celebrate. The best part of moving here permanently has been my relationship with Jonah, but my relationship with Kai is a close second. When we’re out in public, if anyone gives him a dirty look, I stare them down until they look away.
Small-minded assholes. There really aren’t that many. Most people in this city either don’t seem to care that Kai is non-binary, or they support it. Everyone on Jonah’s team has been kind and welcoming to him.
“Are you guys going out after the game?” Mia asks us.
“Maybe for a little bit?”
She laughs. “You sound like I feel. I’m tired, but I don’t want to miss out.”
“Do you want to go out?” I ask Kai.
“Yeah, I’ll go.”
“We’re going out,” I tell Mia. “Jonah’s gonna have to suck it up if he’s tired.”
“He’s the goalie, he literally just stands there the entire game,” she says with a grin.
“Don’t make me fight you,” I say, pointing at her.
“She’s savage,” Kai tells Mia.
The news of Shields’s arrest and the charges filed against him made headlines for a couple weeks. More people have been charged for their roles in Shields’s sex trafficking ring, some of them famous and powerful.
It’s still hard for me and Jonah to go out because photographers and reporters follow us relentlessly. Once news hit that I was working undercover and he was helping with that, the story of our relationship exploded on a whole new level.
We don’t answer any questions. When we’re out, he takes my hand and we keep our heads down until we get where we’re going. And the bureau’s extra security has been a big help. Jonah was getting so many questions from reporters that the Blaze’s PR staff had to tell the reporters to stop.
It feels like it’s starting to die down, though. We’re getting into a routine that feels blissfully normal. Jonah and I spend a lot of our nights at his place and the occasional night at Kai’s. And as soon as his offseason break starts, the three of us are doing a week at Luca and Abby’s beach house in Kauai and then a week on a yacht planned by Kai.
“Is that it?” Kai asks me when the game ends. “Or is there a song or something?”
I roll my eyes. “That’s only at the beginning. It’s over.”
He squints to read the numbers on the Jumbotron and then gasps. “We won!”
“Were you even paying attention to the score?” I ask, laughing.
“Was I supposed to?”
Allie Zimmerman, Easy’s wife, leans in as she’s walking by us and says, “I usually don’t pay attention to the score, either, so you’re good.”
Kai and I take our time going down to the hallway Jonah will walk out to when he’s done with his shower and interviews, Kai’s flawless makeup drawing a few looks.
“You’re happy here, aren’t you?” Kai asks me, putting his arm through mine.
“Are you serious? I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Happier than I ever thought I could be.”
He smiles. “Good. Because I love having you back. It’s so funny, I never would’ve seen myself having this friendship threesome with an FBI agent and a pro hockey player.”
“But we work, don’t we?” I lean my head against his.
“We really do.”
Jonah doesn’t end up having to do interviews after the game, which is rare. He walks out in a navy suit and gives me the smile that melts me every time.
“Hi babe,” he says, kissing me and then turning to Kai. “Hey Kai, what’d you think of the game?”
“I liked it,” Kai says with a grin. “Lots of testosterone out there, what’s not to like?”
“Do you mind if we go out?” I ask Jonah.
“As long as we go somewhere I can get a cheeseburger.”
“We can do that.”
Jonah stands in between me and Kai, putting an arm around each of us, and we head out of the arena together. I feel a mix of contentedness and joy I never knew possible.
After all the years of assuming new identities, in a different place each time, I found my home—not in Chicago, but in these two people.
Also by Brenda Rothert
Chicago Blaze Series
Book 1 - Anton
Book 2 - Luca
Book 3 - Victor
Book 4 - Knox
Book 5 - Alexei
Book 6 - Easy
Book 7 - Jonah
Fire on Ice Series
Book 1 - Bound
Book 2 - Captive
Book 3 - Edge
Book 4 - Drive
Book 5 - Release
On the Line Series
Book 1 - Killian
Book 2 - Bennett
Book 3 - Liam
Lockhart Brothers Series
Book 1 - Deep Down
Book 2 - In Deep
Book 3 - Drawn Deeper
Book 4 - Hidden Depth
Filthy Series
Book 1 - Dirty Work
Book 2 - Dirty Secret
Book 3 - Dirty Defiance
Standalon
es
Come Closer
Buried
Sweet Sixteen
His
Alpha Mail
Healing Touch
Barely Breathing
About the Author
Brenda Rothert lives in Central Illinois with her husband, children and two dogs. She loves to hear from readers through her website or her Facebook Group, Rothert’s Readers.
Acknowledgments
If you’ve made it this far in my Chicago Blaze series, you probably know I lost my dear friend Janett Gomez in March 2020. Janett was a huge fan of this series and its covers. ;) I felt Janett with me as I wrote this book. Rey has a lot of Janett in her. This book is very special to me because of that. The friendship between Rey and Kai was also inspired by my friendship with Janett. Not all love is the romantic kind, but it’s all so very precious. Janett and I saw ‘A Star is Born’ (the Lady Gaga/Bradley Cooper version) together for the first time at the theater and we ugly cried the entire ride home. There’s a line from the song ‘I’ll Always Remember Us This Way’ that brought me comfort after Janett passed away - “The part of me that’s you will never die.” I believe in those words.
M.E. Carter helped me in so many ways with this book. She’s a gem of a human. She helps me with my books and I help her with hers, so check hers out if you’re looking for something new, I definitely recommend them.
The rest of my team also made this book possible, and I’m so lucky to have them in my corner. Jenn Gaffney, Jessica Estep, Taylor Bellitto, Rosa Sharon and my beta group - love you guys.
Thank you to Wander Aguiar for the Chicago Blaze photos and Lori Jackson for the cover designs. The series would not be what it is without you guys.
I’ve never written such a long series, but I’m still loving this one. Up next is Kit, and I’m really excited for you guys to read the story of the player who doesn’t reveal much about himself.
If you ever want to reach out to me, please do. You can email me through my website or join my FB group, Rothert’s Readers. I truly love hearing from readers.
Jonah: A Chicago Blaze Hockey Romance Page 15
