by Jodie Bailey
With a harsh sound, she tugged the zipper on her jacket higher. “My parents were...passionate people. They either loved each other madly or they hated each other madly.” She shoved her hands into her pockets and hunched her shoulders against a wind only she could feel. “When they loved each other, they forgot Kyle and I existed. When they hated each other... Mom could throw punches faster than my father could. But never at us. My father, on the other hand...” A shudder racked her, but then she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin as though she could take back the moment of weakness simply by defying it. “Well, my father always aimed for the nearest female target.”
Lucas’s fists balled. That a man would lay a finger on any woman was unthinkable. But on Kristin? The thought of her own father hurting her made him hot with fury. He wanted to go faster, push harder. Start running until he could outpace the emotions chasing him and erase the images of her in danger from his mind. And at the same time, to stop walking, pull her to him and promise to never let anything so horrible happen to her ever again, to wipe clean what had to be horrible images from her memories.
She didn’t seem to notice him and kept talking like she’d forgotten he existed. “Mom figured out she wasn’t his only punching bag and it woke her up. She took me and Kyle and moved us from Virginia to here, with her mother.”
“He followed.” Lucas couldn’t help himself. He had to say something, to release the pressure or blow like a fragmentation grenade.
“She got a restraining order. He violated it. Got arrested. Came back. The police didn’t scare him.”
Oh, man. So much about how she viewed the legal system made sense now. “That’s why you don’t bother with the police. It’s not because you don’t trust them. It’s because—”
“They can’t do anything to someone who’s determined. They couldn’t stop him from killing my mom. He thought the rest of us were gone because Kyle and my grandmother were out of town. I was supposed to go but I had a project due for school.” She hunched her shoulders again. “Mom felt safer with the alarm on. It was monitored. But by the time the cops got there, it was over. He’d killed her, held the knife to my throat, then sliced his wrists.”
“What?” Shock ground Lucas’s feet to the concrete. He grabbed Kristin’s wrist, turning her toward him. “He held a knife on you?”
Her eyes stayed planted firmly on his chest, but she didn’t pull away.
Lord, help me know what to do here. Every ounce of the man inside him wanted to shield her from the memories deepening the lines in her forehead. Making that move might push her away forever. He turned his face to the sky, the clear blue of early spring laced by bare tree branches. A knife attack was brutal and personal, fueled by deep hatred and wild emotion. And Kristin hadn’t only witnessed it. She’d nearly been a victim.
He’d known she was strong, but how strong had escaped him. She’d survived one of the worst scenarios he could imagine, and she still stood. The way she’d shoved her hands into her pockets and pulled herself into as small a space as possible told him everything, though. She was an armadillo locked in her shell, unwilling to break out. She regretted letting him in.
I have no idea what I’m doing. None. Give me something, God. Anything.
When he dipped his chin again, she was still staring at the logo on his shirt. “Kristin, you survived for a reason.” She had to see that, had to know her life had value.
But she didn’t lift her head. This wasn’t who she was. Kristin James was a chin forward, face the world kind of woman, not the timid creature who stood before him now. He slid one hand to hers and held tight, then ran a finger from her temple to her chin, tilting her face toward his, desperate for her to grasp the strength he knew lay inside her.
Her eyes grazed his neck and lingered on his lips before catching his, the blue so intense it caught him in the chest and stole every breath he’d ever taken.
Travis was right. This thing between them was skating into dangerous territory.
Lucas couldn’t care less. In this brief moment while she was willing to make a connection, he fell into the opportunity, searching her face, tracing the determined line of her jaw, skimming to her lips before coming to her eyes to find the flicker of his own thoughts reflected there. He brushed the hair from her forehead, her skin warm beneath his, melting the rest of the world until the two of them stood alone.
As soon as he touched her, she stiffened, her mouth tightening. She pulled away and shook her head like she was coming back from somewhere else, then turned toward her house and started walking.
It took a second for Lucas’s body to relax out of its paralysis, to free itself from a moment he wanted to grab with both hands, a moment with Kristin that had rocked him straight through like no time with any other woman ever had.
EIGHT
She was an idiot.
Kristin shoved the gearshift into Park and sat with the engine running, staring at Lucas’s gray pickup at Smith Lake’s pine needle–strewn dirt lot. She should have known better than to stick to her routine and head out here today. Lucas knew exactly how she trained, and if she was trying to hide from him while he was so insistent on watching her, this had to be the dumbest way possible.
She’d spent half the night staring at the shadows on her ceiling, body tensed and waiting for the house alarm to announce an intruder.
Mind tensed and focused squarely on Lucas Murphy.
The expression on his face yesterday invaded her vision every single time she tried to sleep. She’d known for a while she was harboring the slightest of crushes on him. How could she not? He was tall and built, brown eyed and gorgeous. Coupled with the sense of humor he somehow managed to work in at the right time every time, Lucas Murphy was all the things women dreamed of. She’d even noticed other women looking at him when they were running together. Yeah, Lucas was all that, and she’d known she needed to be careful.
She hadn’t realized how truly dangerous he was.
The minute she’d dared to lift her eyes from his chest to look straight at him, every single resolve she’d ever built against relationships dissolved. With her emotions spinning over memories, it had been easy to fall straight into what Lucas offered her, to crave the security of his arms around her.
The feel of his lips on hers.
No. Absolutely not.
She’d shut him out at her front door and tried to keep busy the rest of the day, figuring taxes for her business, scrubbing her already spotless kitchen, working her core until her abs screamed... Nothing had driven Lucas out of her head.
A good trail run might do the trick, but here he was, waiting for her. Protecting her.
She kneaded the steering wheel with both hands. What she ought to do was pull out and go home, crawl into bed and pull the covers high, ignore Lucas and the whole rest of the world for the day...the week...the month. But she’d never been one to run away.
Lucas Murphy was not the man to make her start now.
Kristin twisted the key and turned off the engine with a little too much force.
Shoving out of her SUV, she slammed the door and stalked across the parking area, rapping on his window with her knuckles.
He jerked his head away from his phone and cocked a half grin, then slid out of the truck. “Ready to—”
“What are you doing here?” The best defense? A very strong, very angry offense.
Lucas didn’t back away. In fact, he didn’t even seem fazed. “Getting ready to hit the trail with you.”
“I don’t think so. We’ve never run trails together before. We’ve always stuck to the neighborhoods around ours.” And they didn’t need to start running out here together today. This was her happy place, where she came to run the cobwebs away. She needed to clear her head of Lucas, not run side by side with the man. Even standing six feet from him, his pre
sence was overwhelming.
“Kristin, you stuck to your routine. Think about it. If I knew you were headed out here, so does anyone else who’s been watching you. After you ripped into that guy’s hide the last time, nobody’s going to be dumb enough to give you an opening for a repeat performance. They’ll sneak up on you and have whatever it is they’re after before you even know they’re there.”
Chill bumps raised along her arms, seeming to ripple even in her stomach. Biting the inside of her mouth, she willed the shudder away, choosing anger instead.
He was right. Turning away from him, she stared at the pine trees whose green needles turned the gray early-morning sky into lace. Oh, how she hated how right he was. Someone wanted something of her brother’s, and she was the one link this shadow person had. Well, she’d have to be more vigilant, that was all. It still didn’t mean she needed Lucas running alongside her. “I’m fine. I can be on—”
He laid a hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him, but she stared past him at his truck. “Listen to me. I get it. You’re strong. Nobody’s questioning that. But you’re also—”
“A woman?” She jerked the warmth of his hand from her shoulder.
He laughed. “You definitely are, but I wasn’t going anywhere near there. I’ve got combat-ready soldiers who can’t throw down an aggressor the way you did the other day.” The spark in his eye took on a different glow, one warmer and even more disconcerting. “You’re also human. As vulnerable as the next man or woman. You don’t have eyes in the back of your head. Be smart. Give a guy a break and let him have your back. I’d do the same thing for Travis if someone came at him the way someone’s coming at you.”
Kristin puffed air out, sensing her resolve soften and hating herself for it.
“You let me run with you or I dog your heels the whole way. You’re not shaking me until this is over and we know who’s after you, James. You might as well live with it.” The dogged determination in his expression said he wasn’t letting this go, even if she did fight him.
Lifting her hands in surrender, Kristin opened the distance between them. Having him beside her was preferable to feeling his presence behind her for the next hour. “Fine, but it’s an easy run today.” Easy because her shoulder still ached where the dude shoved her into the tree a couple of days ago. Not that she’d ever admit such a weakness to Lucas. Or to anybody else, either.
“Works for me.” He jerked a thumb toward the head of the trail. “Let’s go. You set the pace.”
That was the problem. She knew the pace she wanted to set. Unfortunately for her, her heart was aiming for a whole different rhythm.
* * *
Their feet found a rhythm together, pounding the dirt and pine needles of the trail and laying a backbeat to the sounds of the birds that never left North Carolina. The air was chilly, burning his lungs for the first half mile. It took time, but Lucas relaxed into the tempo, slower than they usually ran together but fast enough for today. If he was guessing right—and he was pretty sure he was—Kristin was suffering the effects of the beating she’d narrowly avoided on this very trail.
He had to hand it to her. After what had happened out here, pretty much every woman in the world would have avoided running alone, and they definitely would have avoided running alone at the scene of the attack. He’d seen grown men have to pull themselves together to go on patrol again after an assault. There was no shame in defense mechanisms.
But Kristin James? She acted like the worst thing in her life was Lucas himself. It tweaked a little, but he really couldn’t blame her, not after the way he’d almost kissed her yesterday. When he’d walked her to her house, she’d been quick to silence any further chatter, quicker still to shut the door in his face after she climbed the steps. It wasn’t anger, though. It was more like fear. More fear than she’d shown coming out here today, for sure. After what she’d confessed, he had no doubt men were her least favorite people.
Except she didn’t seem afraid of the man who’d manhandled her. So what was it about Lucas that sent her packing?
The pounding of their feet took on a sudden, maddening monotony. He had to break the silence or lose his mind. “Did you think of any other reason that guy might have mentioned your brother?” It wasn’t an ideal topic, but it was neutral territory with no hint of the kiss they’d nearly shared.
Kristin exhaled loudly. “No. Thought about it all night but...no.” She lifted her hands above her head and slowed to a walk. “Hang on a sec.”
“Side stitch?” Lucas pulled up the pace and walked beside her.
“Back cramp.” She stopped and leaned to the side. “I’m tighter than I thought I was.”
So he’d been right. She was hurting and not showing it. “You sure you didn’t crack a rib? He slammed you into a tree pretty hard.”
“I’m sure.” She leaned to the other side then settled into a jog, slower this time. “Lucas?”
“Yeah?” The way she said his name sounded right. She didn’t say it often. He kind of wished she’d use it more.
“The army said Kyle was shot and killed.” She didn’t turn to him but kept her focus on the trail. “He was in your battalion. Were you there?”
The question drove the air from his lungs. He slowed to catch some air, then picked up speed again when her pace didn’t slack. Questions like this one were another good reason not to get attached to any female family member.
Maybe that assessment wasn’t fair, though. Kyle Coleman may have done a lot of things, but he was still Kristin’s brother and she was still grieving, even if she tried to pretend she wasn’t. The least Lucas could do was give her an answer.
Lucas swallowed hard, his details probably as sketchy as hers. “I wasn’t there. I was on a combat outpost about fifteen miles out from the forward operating base. Kyle was in my platoon for a while, but he...” Yeah. No way was he going to say her brother was such a problem nobody trusted him in combat. “He was on the forward operating base, in headquarters company.”
“In the mail room.” She sniffed what sounded like a sharp laugh. “You don’t have to pull the punch. I was raised in a military town. I know some guys join for the routine stuff and I know others get their butts handed to them when they screw up. Kyle never would have volunteered for mail. He was too much of an adrenaline junkie. He was trouble. I get it. I might not have known him well there at the end, but I knew him well enough.”
Lucas glanced her way in time to see her expression darken. Once again, that overpowering urge to shield Kristin kicked in, forcing his feet to pick up the pace before he stopped entirely and gave in. Even though he tried to remind himself, he kept forgetting that though she wasn’t a suspected smuggler, she was close to someone who was. “Fair enough.”
“What do you know?”
He chewed on the words, unsure what to say. The army had likely told her everything she needed to know, and he couldn’t tell her the one new piece of information he had, that Kyle’s death had been friendly fire. The question was, did he want to rehash this with her?
Yes, he did. Because then he could be the one to comfort her if she needed it. “He was on guard duty. It’s rotational.”
“And?”
“It was a clean shot to the head. He never saw it coming.” They’d reached the end of the trail, their cars in view through the trees, sunlight glinting off the windshield of his truck. He reached for her and pulled her to a stop, holding her wrist in a loose grip. “It sounds awful, but honestly...”
“I know. That’s what the army said, but... I don’t know. I was kind of hoping there was something more.”
It was a familiar desire. He’d heard it from family members before. The need to know what happened, to process every detail. To hear one thing they didn’t know before, one thing that might bring their loved one to life in their minds one more time.
/> With Kristin, though, there was one more detail, and he was certain CID wouldn’t want him leaking the suspicion Kyle was murdered, especially not to the sister who might know more than she let on. “I wish I knew more, Kris.”
Her shoulders stiffened, and she pulled her wrist from his grasp. “Kristin.”
“I’m sorry.” She’d corrected him more than once the past couple of days. “You don’t like the nickname?” He tilted his head, trying to catch her eye, but she was staring over his shoulder. “I’ve heard Casey call you that.”
She pressed her lips together. “My dad called me Kris. And it doesn’t bother me when Casey says it. It’s in a female voice. But when I hear a man say it...” She lifted her eyes and caught his. “I don’t know. It scares me when you say it.”
“Scares you?” He’d never say it again, would erase it from his vocabulary if it caused her any kind of pain.
Her breath hitched. She opened her mouth and closed it, and a sheen crossed her eyes. “It used to, but when you say it, it sounds like... It sounds safe.”
There was a soft vulnerability in the words she’d never shown him before. She looked at him as though she meant everything, as though she trusted him.
Lucas was done. Forget every warning bell clanging in his head. Forget every stupid mistake Travis had made. Forget every dumb ounce of drama that had gone down in their unit.
This was personal.
He closed the small gap between them and pulled her close like he’d finally admitted he wanted to, wrapped his arms around her, trying to tell her with words that wouldn’t come that she was safe, he’d shelter her from the memories of her past and the assaults of the present.
He pressed a kiss to her temple, and she melted against him with a sigh that undid everything inside him. He let his lips trail down her cheek until he found hers, then kissed her softly at first. But when she met him in the kiss, she caught him and drew out all of the feelings he’d been trying to hide from himself almost since the first day he’d seen her.
