The babies!
My hand immediately goes to my stomach. It’s flat as before I got pregnant.
“Carrick, the babies,” I cry, the panic in my face and body start to show more with each passing moment.
“Let me tell you everything that happened,” he says sitting down beside the bed.
The look on his face was sent a jolt of dread throughout my body. Oh no the babies.
“Don’t get worried Honey, Its not want you think,” he says.
Then he continues on to say, “When he started the delivery, you began the bleed profusely.”
“I did,” I cried.
He curls me into his arms and cradles me for a while then he finishes telling me what happened, all while smoothing down my hair with his hand.
“Ok so after you started bleeding they had to put you to sleep; because you started freaking out when someone in the O.R. said we were going to loose the babies, if they didn’t get the bleeding under control. Dr. O’Bryan put you all the way to sleep and finished the delivery. After all was said and done they had to take out your reproductive organs. He says you can’t have children anymore,” he said and sat back waiting to see how I would react.
“I can’t have kids. But why what was wrong,” I cry and I start shaking from head to toe.
“Honey, its ok. He told me what it was. Something to do with a bleed disorder. I probably should have remembered what he said, but I was more focused on you waking up and being ok,” he said.
“But, I just...it’s just that I can’t give you babies,” I say as I tremble and sob.
“Marissa,” Carrick says.
I look up at him and he looks happy.
“But Honey you did. You gave me three beautiful babies,” he proclaims grinning.
“They’re beautiful. Are they healthy,” I ask through the tears and sobs?
“Oh baby are they. We have three beautiful boys,” he advertises, even though he and I were the only ones in the room.
“Three boys.”
“Yes, and guess what they all have your dimples.”
All I could do is cry, knowing they were here and they were healthy. That’s really all I could ask for.
“Carrick, so your not upset with me for not being able to give you more babies,” I ask?
“You really think that I could be upset with you because of that,” he asks incredulously?
I shrug and say, “Well I thought maybe you would be mad at me for not coming to you after I heard you and your mom talking about what happened with Evelyn.”
“You heard that?”
“Yes. I should have came to you that night. I wanted too, but I still was hurt. I could get the picture of her on you out of my head,” I say bawling.
He just holds me in his arms and whispers in my ear how much he loves me. How much he is so sorry for all the hurt I’ve felt these past months. Also how he needs me and our three sons in his life.
“Carrick, let the poor girl up for air,” his mom says as she comes in the room with and enormous smile on her face; followed by Carrick’s father Mr. Callahan, and a lovely young lady. I assume she is his sister because she looks exactly like his mom.
“Marissa, you did such a great job. The boys are beautiful,” she said giving me a quick hug and setting a vase filled with purple roses on the side table.
I start crying because I realize that I haven’t even seen the boys yet. His mom and everyone other than Carrick looks somewhat scared at my little outburst. But Carrick knew why I’m upset because he speaks up.
“Mom, I think Marissa’s just a little sad because she hasn’t seen the babies yet,” he says with a little smirk on his face.
I don’t know what that was for but my attention is quickly drawn away from him and to the door. In walks three nurses and they are each pushing a different baby. My heart starts sprinting in my chest, and my left leg starts to twitch as they are all positioned around my bed. I cry out at how perfect they are.
“Oh Carrick they are all so beautiful,” I say reaching for the baby that is closest to me.
“That’s Ryan. The one next to him is Patrick; and the big guy on the end is Killian,” Carrick says.
I did want to play apart in naming the babies myself, and I might have been upset if they all weren’t so perfect.
“Oh Carrick, you picked out great names,” I say staring down at my perfect little Ryan with tears in my eyes.
I am so lucky to have such beautiful babies. I’m sitting here with little Ryan holding him close to my chest. He feels amazingly warm and is cooing as I run my fingers over his soft cheek. His mouth searched for my finger, as if to tell me he was hungry.
“I think our little big man is hungry,” Carrick says smiling down at the two of us.
My eyes immediately went wide. I hadn’t thought about how I was going to do this. I assume its going to have to be bottle fed because there is no way that I’m going to be able to keep up and breast feed three Callahan boys. If Carrick is any indication of how big they will be, then I’m in trouble.
“Um maybe you should ring the nurse and ask for formula,” I say peeking up at him hoping he is ok with me saying that.
He must not have cared because he smiled, reached over me and Ryan and ring for the nurse.
When she answered the call he said, “Hello, we would love for formula for all of the boys.”
“Yes sir, right away,” she replied.
Carrick then turns to me and I say, “Thank you.”
“Thanks for what,” he says.
I want to say so much but his whole family is still here peering down at us. I’d be too nervous to say want I really wanted for fear he might not receive what I’m saying. But you know what I can’t risk being away from him again. I know that I was so hurt by what happened, but truthfully I was a wreck not being with him everyday. Missing waking up in those strong arms of his, and kissing his lips before we fell asleep.
I have to tell him how I feel, no matter the consequences.
“Mrs. Sarah, can you hold Ryan for me,” I ask?
She easily accepted and scurried over to my bedside, gently taking Ryan from my arms. Tears were falling down her cheeks.
“Marissa, he’s beautiful. I never imagined a more perfect baby. Look Honey doesn’t he look just like Carrick did when he was a baby,” she said motioning her husband over.
Who stepped closer and peered down at him and said, “Yes he does dear, but I have to say this boy definitely is cuter.”
“Hey, what about Killian and Patrick,” I say jokingly.
His father looked down at them and smiled saying, “They are definitely cuter than he was too.”
Carrick grinned and patted his father on his back and his sister inched closer and had her view of the babies. They all beamed with joy.
“Carrick, I need to talk to you,” I say patting the bed beside me. I scoot over as much as I could so he could have a little room to sit down.
He looked at me questioningly, but eased his way into the bed beside me.
He was about to speak but I held my hand up to stop him. If I didn’t say this now I would never get the courage to say this again.
“Look I know this might not be the best time to say this but I have to,” I say grabbing hold of his hand. He didn’t pull away, so that was a good sign.
“I love you and I need you in my life. I’ve been a mess all those months I was away from you. I don’t know if you’ve moved on, but I would love to be in your life,” I say then I peek up at his unwavering gaze.
Oh no, by the look on his face he doesn’t love me anymore. I should have known that I shouldn’t have pushed him away. I should have listened to him when he tried to explain what happened. Now I will never get to feel those arms of his around me, holding me tight. With that realization I begin to cry, and I remove my hand from his.
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything,” I say turning over in the bed away from a still mute Carrick. After I did that he q
uietly got up from the bed and walked out into the hallway. I cried even louder, all but forgetting about the rest of Carrick’s family being in the room with us.
His sister came over to my side and kneeled down in front of me.
“What’s wrong Honey,” she said rubbing my back.
“He.. He.. He doesn’t love me any more,” I snuffle out.
“Hush now, I know you and I don’t know each other all that well, but I know my brother; and I know he loves you,” she says.
I shake my head no.
“I see the way he looks at you. He loves you.”
“But he left, after I told him I loved him,” I cry.
“There must be a perfectly reasonable explanation. I know he’s been lost without you,” she says.
That all sounds nice, but I can’t say that I blame him for walking out on me. I mean I’ve done it to him so many times without listening to him. I just thought it was different. I thought he still might love me.
“Lucy, excuse me,” I hear Carrick say.
Both of our head snap up to him and he has a look in his eyes that is unreadable. She smiles and stands up, stepping out of the way. Carrick was immediately down on one knee right in the space his sister was just in.
“Carrick, what’s going on,” I ask not understanding what was going on.
He grabs my hand and says, “Marissa, when you told me you loved me, my heart leapt. I have been waiting to hear those words from you. I’ve been a mess without you,” he said.
“But you left.”
“I’m sorry about that. I forgot something in the car.”
“But what could have been that important,” I almost gasp.
“This,” he said bringing his hand out of his pocket and lifting up a ring.
It look like the one he proposed to me with before, but different. Now there were three diamonds underneath the big diamond in the middle. I began to cry again because I knew they were for our three sons.
“Oh Carrick, its beautiful,” I say.
“So Marissa, will you marry me.”
I couldn’t do anything but nod, and he slide the ring on my finger then brought me up into his arms.
His mom, father, and sister all clapped and congratulated us. This caused all three of the babies to let out a wail. We all laughed and each of the crying babies were instantly in someones arms being rocked. The nurse finally came in with and arms full of bottles. She distributed them between me, his mom, and his sister.
“I’m so happy right now,” Carrick said watching me feed his son.
“Me too.”
Chapter 18 (Carrick)
“Right this way,” a pilot says to Marissa and I. As she ushered us to the private plane that was awaiting us on the tarmac.
“You’re still not going to tell me where we are going,” Marissa asks.
“Its a surprise,” I say smiling down at her as I helped her onto the plane and into her seat. After making sure she was strapped in I sat down beside her.
It’s been about four months since her and I got married; and about 6 months since the babies were born. So we haven’t been able to have our honeymoon. This is her surprise honeymoon. I had to practically drag her away from Boston. She has been trying to tell me for the past three months that it was too soon the leave the boys. Only after me and my mom convinced her that they will be ok at home with them, did she agree to come.
“Honey, do you mind if I take a little nap while we are on our way,” Marissa asks as she leans her head down on my shoulder without waiting for my reply.
“I don’t mind love,” I say smiling down at her as she closed her eyes.
She was asleep before the pilot took off. I’m happy that we were finally able to convince her to come, because from the look of her she was plenty tired. Soon after we took off, I was lulled to sleep by the soothing motions of the plane ride.
“Carrick Honey I think we’re here,” Marissa says waking me up from my sleep.
“I think we are in Florida,” she says as a question.
I simply grin at her and says, “That we are.”
Her face lights up and she says, “Now I realize why you only packed us one suitcase. It definitely is plenty hot here.”
I didn’t say a word. I just let her ramble on as we got out of the plane. Only when I heard her making a gasping noise did I speak.
“What is it, Honey,” I ask, even though I know what she was making the noise.
“A helicopter. Is that for us.”
I nodded and helped her onto the helicopter, then putting our suitcase in with her before I climbed in and buckled up.
“Are ya’ll ready Sir,” the pilot ask looking back at us.
“Yes,” I answer, then once again we were off.
After looking out the windows for a bit Marissa leans over to me and says, “Are you going to tell me now where we are going,” then she nibbles on my ear.
I know what she’s doing but as god as her lips felt on me I wasn’t falling for it.
“No,” I say grinning and she slides back into her seat and looks out the window.
“Well where ever we’re going is beautiful. Look at the water down there,” she says pointing down at the water.
I oblige her by looking down at the blue water, and comment on how clear it looked. She shrugged and continued to ramble on the rest of the way there.
“Carrick, no we’re not are we,” she asks turning around to me with wide eyes!
I just smile big and nod my head yes.
“Oh baby this is wonderful,” she says reaching over and grabbing my hand.
“I’m happy that your so excited about this. I’ve been dying to get you alone,” I said with a now heavy tone.
Her eyes meet mine and she leans over and kisses my lips. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“You should thank my dad when we get back.”
“Why?”
“Because he gave this as a honeymoon present,” I say.
“Really. Your Dad gave you the island for a honeymoon present. That’s so sweet,” she asks, with surprise in her voice.
“Its not my Island,” I say.
She looks at me with furrowed eyes.
“I don’t understand,” she says.
“He gave the island to you for a honeymoon present.”
“Me. Why would he do that,” she asks?
“He said that since you are the one who gave him three beautiful grandson’s, you deserved it.”
“I think you had something to do with that too,” she says.
“I think you did more than me,” I grin.
The Island came into our view and we both gasped at the sight below us.
“Its more amazing than I remember,” Marissa said as we lower to a cleared spot on the island.
“Yes it is,” I say but I wasn’t looking at the island I was looking at her. She is magnificent.
Upon touching down I thanked the pilot and helped Marissa off, then got our bag.
“So what do we do first,” Marissa asks as she flipped her shoes off and dug her toes into the warm sand. I just watched her enjoy the scenery. She scooped up a handful of sand as let it fall between her fingers.
“I have an idea of what we can do first,” I say.
She turns around with a flush on her cheeks and her eyebrow arched. “What,” she states.
I hold up her little leopard print purple bikini and a sexy smile spreads across her face; and she slowly walks over to me, taking it from my hands. She then leads me into our cabin bedroom; we fall onto the bed in each others’ arms and show each other how much we love and need one another.
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It's Not My Island Page 12
