by I. T. Lucas
Wasn’t worth it.
But Nathalie was different. He’d known since the first time he laid eyes on her that she was worth any effort. Because he had a feeling that she just might be the one.
Problem was, he didn’t know how to go about making her comfortable.
Joking around had helped a little but not enough, and giving her space hadn’t done much good either. On the contrary, it had only furthered the distance between them. Perhaps the exact opposite was needed. And if she balked he’d ease up a little.
As he came back with a bottle of wine and two glasses, he found Nathalie in the same position he’d left her, sitting on the edge of the sofa, the thin strap of her purse still nestled between her breasts. If she’d known the kind of attention it was drawing to her cleavage, she would’ve removed it right away.
Andrew put the bottle and stems down on the coffee table and sat down next to Nathalie. Wrapping his arm around her, he hooked a finger under her chin and turned her head so she would look at him. “What’s the matter, sweetheart? Why are you so nervous?”
Nathalie swallowed audibly and tried to look away.
He held on, not letting her escape his scrutiny. “You can tell me anything. I’m not going to judge, I’m not going to criticize, or do any of the things that you’re afraid I might do. I care for you, and I’m here for you. There is nothing you can do or say that will change the way I feel about you.”
“Oh. God,” she whispered. “Kiss me first, and then I’ll tell you.”
He pulled her closer against his body and brought his lips to hers, softly at first, stroking her mouth with his own, then teasing her lush lips with tiny flicks of his tongue.
Nathalie moaned and pressed herself closer to him, her lips parting in invitation. He slipped inside, sweeping his tongue against hers. When she moaned again, he slid his hand along the side of her breast then cupped it. But the damned padded bra she was wearing was like a chastity implement, robbing them both of sensation.
“This has to go,” he murmured against her lips and reached behind her to slip his hand under her T-shirt and unhook the offending garment.
“Wait.” She put a hand on his chest, and he halted his progress, but didn’t take his hand out from under her shirt.
“What’s the matter?”
“I need to tell you something.”
She sounded so serious and so stricken that he pulled his hand out and concentrated on her face. For a moment, he had the terrible thought that maybe there was something wrong with her breasts—
Like a mastectomy—
Fuck, that would explain everything, wouldn’t it…
Nathalie took a deep breath before lifting her head and looking into his eyes. Such a brave girl. Andrew braced for what she was about to reveal, promising himself to be as supportive as he could and not show how sorry he felt for her.
“Here goes, I’ve never done this before.” As soon as the words had left her lips, her courage faltered, and she looked away.
He was about to say the words he’d prepared in his head, that it was okay and that he would find her sexy and beautiful regardless, when what she’d actually told him sank in.
“What do you mean? You’ve never done it in a guy’s home?”
She glanced up at him with a look that seemed to question his mental faculties. “I’ve never had sex, anywhere. I’m still a virgin.” She looked down and added in a murmur, “At least I think I am.”
Fucking hell! A virgin?
He’d suspected that Nathalie was inexperienced, but not as in ‘never had sex before’—just not frequent or recent.
Damn, what was he supposed to do now? He’d never been with a virgin before.
“Say something.” There was worry in her voice.
“How? Why? Is it religion? Were you saving yourself for marriage?”
Shit, he wasn’t handling it well at all. Instead of reassuring Nathalie, he sounded as if he was accusing her of something. So what if she was a devout Catholic or something like it? “Not that it makes any difference for me, but I’m just curious, that’s all.”
Nathalie shrugged, and a soft sigh escaped her lips. “I wish I could say that this was the reason—that it had been my choice—even if a weird one. The truth is that it just happened.” She chuckled. “Or didn’t happen as is the case.”
Andrew sensed that there was a long and complicated story behind her statement, and decided that it was best to get it out once and for all and put it behind them.
Anyway, his arousal had been long gone along with his plans to finally make love to Nathalie. It had all flown out the window the moment the word virgin had been uttered.
He took her hand and gave it a squeeze for encouragement. “Okay, out with it, everything.”
“I’m scared.” There were tears in her eyes, and Andrew cursed himself for being an insensitive jerk who had no idea how to deal with this situation in a way that wouldn’t make Nathalie feel even worse.
“Don’t be. As I said before. I care for you, and I’m here for you. There is nothing you can do or say that will change the way I feel about you.”
She snorted. “Yeah, right.”
“Try me.”
She looked up at him, her eyes searching his expression. He didn’t look away, holding her gaze for as long as she wanted to hold his. After a long moment, she nodded.
Chapter 39: Nathalie
Nathalie had known Andrew would freak out. And she hadn’t even mentioned the ghosts yet. But she was tired of hiding it from him, tired of fearing he’d run.
She was just so damn tired of it all.
In her cowardice, she hadn’t been even upholding the deal she’d made with him on their first date of telling him one of her secrets in exchange for a story behind one of his scars—feeding him inconsequential little anecdotes instead.
If it ended tonight, so be it. She would cry for a month, or a year, or for the rest of her days, but if this wretched life was her fate, she had no choice but to accept it and do the best she could with it.
Screaming up to her father’s God that it wasn’t fair, wasn’t going to help her or do her any good. It was what it was, and no amount of wishing was going to change it.
“I won’t blame you if after you hear this, you want nothing to do with me.”
Andrew chuckled and squeezed her hand. “Don’t be so dramatic, Nathalie, it’s not like virginity is a contagious disease or a handicap. It’s just a temporary impediment that is easily removed.” He winked.
Yeah, easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one facing excruciating pain. But anyway, this was beside the point.
“That’s not all. There is a reason I’m still a virgin at thirty, and it has nothing to do with religious or moral beliefs.”
He nodded, but his posture revealed that he tensed in preparation for her story. God only knew what he was imagining. She’d better just spill it all out and be done with it.
“Since I was a little girl, I’ve been hearing voices in my head.” She stole a glance at his face but was surprised to find no reaction to her statement. Encouraged, she continued.
“At first, my parents thought that I had imaginary friends, like many kids do. What they didn’t realize, though, was that the voices in my head didn’t belong to children, or talked about childish things. The voices belonged to ghosts, people who had died and for some reason found me a receptive channel.”
She snorted. “I’m still not sure if I’m really hearing ghosts or just crazy.” Andrew still looked like nothing she’d said shocked him. He was either very good at hiding his feelings or very open minded.
“It was difficult because there were so many. It felt as if they were fighting for a chance to talk to me, but all of that stopped when Tut arrived.”
“Who’s Tut?”
“Just one of the voices, but he somehow managed to block the others, and since then I’ve been hearing only him. At least until recently, but I’ll get to it later. It was a huge improvem
ent, and it allowed me to lead a semi-normal life. But not completely normal. Kids made fun of me, calling me Nutty Nattie because I would often talk to myself. It made me shy and withdrawn, and I didn’t have friends.”
She chuckled. “Except Tut, that is. But he was a sarcastic adult, not a kid. When I went to college, it was bliss. No one knew me or my damned nickname, and a Bluetooth earpiece took care of my occasional blunder. But after years of being shunned, I was shy. I figured I had time, you know, to open up, make friends, go on dates, all the normal things a girl my age was expected to do. But time flew by, and at the beginning of my third year Papi got sick, and I had to come back and help with the shop. Since then, it was one big blur of never-ending days, working, taking care of Papi.”
Andrew leaned and kissed her forehead. “You’re a very good daughter, Nathalie, I doubt others in your position would’ve done the same.”
She smiled, appreciating his compliment. “I didn’t have a choice. There was no one else.”
He nodded.
“So that’s the whole story in a nutshell. Just one thing leading to another, and here I am—a crazy, thirty-year-old virgin.”
“You’re not crazy.” He said it with so much conviction that she was inclined to believe that he really meant it.
“So you really believe that I hear ghosts in my head?”
Andrew shrugged. “You are not the first or the only one to communicate with the beyond. Most are charlatans, but some are genuine. There is so much out there that can’t be explained, or shrugged off. I keep an open mind.”
Thank you, God.
This was better than she’d ever dared to hope. Andrew, a grown man who seemed as down to earth as it got, believed her and seemed to accept her weirdness as something that wasn’t completely out there.
It was nothing short of a miracle.
“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that. I was sure you’d make some lame excuse and take me home, then run as far and as quickly as you could.”
He leaned into her and kissed her lips lightly. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily. I’m here to stay.”
“And the virginity?”
He chuckled. “Again, you’re not the first or the only one with that condition.”
“So you don’t mind?”
Andrew rubbed his neck before giving her a crooked smile. “You were so brave to tell me everything that I can do no less. The truth is that I’ve never been with a virgin, and I’m not sure how to make it good for you. But I’m going to do my best.”
Nathalie closed her eyes and released a long breath. “So we are still going to do it?”
Andrew’s voice dipped half an octave. “I promise you, sweetheart, by tomorrow morning you’ll be a virgin no more.”
Thank God.
Andrew pushed to his feet and before she could guess his intentions, he bent and lifted her up in his arms. “I’m taking you to bed.” He paused for a moment and looked into her eyes as if asking her to confirm or deny it.
She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Just promise not to drop me on the way. I’m heavy.”
He grinned like the cat who was about to eat the canary. “Nonsense, you’re light as a feather, sweetheart.”
She wasn’t, but Andrew carried her to his bedroom as if she was.
She pressed her cheek to his and sniffed his skin—aftershave and man—the scent of a promise.
Chapter 40: Andrew
Holding Nathalie in his arms suffused Andrew with a barrage of unfamiliar feelings.
He was humming with excitement. Her confession about the voices in her head had reinforced his belief that she was a Dormant. But his joy was tainted by a dark and unfamiliar possessiveness. Because there was only one way to find out. One that he would never allow. No male was going to touch his Nathalie but him.
Unfortunately, he was still just a mortal and didn’t possess the equipment necessary to inject her with the venom she needed in order to activate her dormant genes.
Andrew wondered if it was possible to extract the thing, like from a snake, and inject it with a syringe. Problem was that even if it were possible, he still wouldn’t be able to let another male’s venom do the work. If anyone’s essence was going into Nathalie, it was going to be his.
He would have to go through the transition first, and then turn her.
But what if she wasn’t a Dormant, and he would end up squandering a chance for a normal life with her?
Or worse, what if he didn’t make it?
Damn, he needed to clear his head of these thoughts because he had to deal with a more immediate concern. Bringing Nathalie pleasure while taking her virginity.
Talk about impossible goals.
Well, one thing at a time. First, he would make her climax, and only then would he dare to attempt her deflowering. And if it became too much for her to bear, he would stop and take care of his own need with the help of his own hand—same way he’d done every night since he’d gotten involved with Nathalie. And thank God that he had. He wasn’t as strung up and impatient as he would’ve been otherwise.
Causing Nathalie anguish was out of the question. If it proved to be only a little painful, then fine, he’d continue, but he would never allow her to suffer. Not going to happen.
In his bedroom, he laid her gently on the bed and turned on the bedside lamp. It bathed the room in dim light, casting a golden glow on her perfect figure. Andrew sat down beside her and cupped her cheek. “You have nothing to fear, sweetheart. We’ll go slow, one little step at a time, and if it becomes too much for you, at any point, we will stop.”
She nodded on an exhale, and reached for him, wrapping her hands around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. It started slow and gentle, a kiss meant to ease her fears, but Nathalie had other ideas. Soon she was pulling him down harder and arching her back so their bodies would touch.
He wanted her naked.
Andrew broke the kiss and smiled. “You’re wearing way too many clothes. Especially this medieval contraption.” He flicked the side of her padded bra.
Nathalie giggled, blushing. “It makes my breasts look bigger.”
Andrew frowned. “There’s no need. They’re perfect the way they are.”
“How would you know?” she taunted, her tone becoming husky.
“Well, let’s find out, shall we?” He tugged on the bottom of her T-shirt, and she leaned up so he could take it off, then lay back down, her breaths coming out in small, rapid puffs.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered as he slid the bra straps off her shoulders, revealing just the tops of her breasts. But this was not the kind of bra that wanted to cooperate with slow seduction. Andrew got impatience and reached for the hook on Nathalie’s back, snapping it open with the fingers of one hand while flinging it away with the other.
Finally, she was naked before him, even if only partially, and he hissed as his shaft kicked up, tenting his loose slacks.
“Damn.” He couldn’t help the word escaping his mouth. He should’ve worn jeans.
Nathalie was barely breathing as he watched her, drinking up her beauty.
“Touch me,” she whispered.
He touched his thumb to the outline of her taut nipple, tracing it round and round.
Nathalie shivered. “You’re torturing me.”
Yeah, he’d teased her enough. His palm closing around one breast, he brought his mouth to the other and closed his lips around one sweet nipple, then sucked it in.
Nathalie mewled, her back arching off the bed. Her little nubs were so tight that he was sure they ached.
He wondered whether she would like having them pinched.
Only one way to find out.
Releasing the one he had been suckling, he closed his palm around it and moved to the other. When it was also wet, he cupped it with his other hand, letting her have a moment to relax before closing his fingers around both nubs, and pinching them simultaneously. Gently at first, but as
her face showed more bliss than discomfort, he tugged harder, pulling her breasts up and away from her body.
Her hands shot up, but not to stop him, she laid them on top of his as if to tell him not to stop.
But he didn’t want her nipples to become too tender. There was still a lot more he wanted to do to them. He eased up and then cupped her tender peaks, letting the warmth soothe them.
“Pfff…” Nathalie released a long puff of breath.
“How about we get rid of the rest of your clothes?” he asked gently
“Please.” Sweet Nathalie wanted him to undress her.
“With pleasure, my lady.” He popped the button of her jeans open and pulled down the zipper, then peeled the tight material off her, one leg at a time.
Nathalie seemed satisfied with letting him do the honors, only lifting her behind a little to ease the way.
Her black panties were plain cotton, and for a moment, Andrew contemplated leaving them on, thinking that she would be more comfortable with a gradual progression.
But in the end, he just couldn’t help it. Andrew wanted her fully nude. With one strong tug, he divested her of the panties as well.
Nathalie didn’t try to hide from him, although he could see her hands fisting the bed cover as she battled against the instinct to cover the most private place on her body.
He wouldn’t have allowed it.
She was his.
God, where did this come from? Andrew shook his head. He wasn’t a caveman… Or maybe he was but wasn’t aware of it until now.
Maybe deep down all men were still cavemen when it came to the woman they prized above all else.
As he stared at what he’d uncovered, his shaft pulsed inside his pants, begging to be released. Unlike a lot of the women he’d seen naked, Nathalie wasn’t completely bare, and her nearly black, neatly trimmed pubic hair was glistening with the evidence of her desire.
“So fucking sexy.”
Reassured by his compliment, she unclenched her fists and even arched her back a little.
As he traced a finger down her slit, following the wetness to its source, Nathalie gasped and jerked her thighs together.
