“I love you, Ally. Even though we didn’t speak for all those years, I never stopped loving you. And I’ve come to realize since you walked in the station that day that I’ll never stop.”
Tears blurred her gaze as Jesse took her hand and looked at her through tearful eyes.
“There’s no time constraints on our life together this time. It’s about us and the choices we make. What’s going to make us happy in this life? I need to know once and for all… can I make you happy?”
Ally nodded, knowing she’d never be happier than the times she’d spent with him. He still loved her! Why had she doubted him so?
“This is all for you, for us, so that you never have to doubt me again.”
“I… I don’t know what to say.”
Jesse took her hand and kissed it as a single tear fell down his cheek. But with a smile, he continued, “You see, Ally, the greatest thing about us being friends for so long is that I know your fears and your hopes, and I know all your dreams. And I want to make all of your fears go away, and I want to make all of your dreams come true, starting today. And I’m one lucky guy that you want me as part of that dream.”
As he got down on one knee, took the velvet box from her hand, Ally’s heart sped up. He looked at her, with those beautiful blue eyes and stunning smile. “Ally, I want to make you my wife. I want for us to put all the things that kept us apart all these years behind us. I want us to be happy and love each other the way we both know we want to. And I want us to be happy with our lives so that we don’t have any regrets. And I’ll regret the rest of my life if I don’t ask you to marry me one more time. Last time it never dawned on me that you wouldn’t come. This time I’m asking, knowing full well your answer could still be no, but I’m prepared for either answer and prepared to love you regardless. So will you marry me, Ally?”
Ally stared at him, knowing he was right, and she loved him more than anything else in this world. But she still hesitated and Jesse noticed. He stood, still holding the box with the ring inside.
“I’m a little overwhelmed. This is all so sudden.”
“I thought it was what you wanted,” he whispered, doubt all over his face. Ally felt a stab of guilt jab her in the gut.
“Jesse, this is what I’ve always dreamed of, but I just realized I accused you of cheating on me and getting revenge for what happened between us. All the while, you’re planning my dream wedding to my dream man. I’m just… stunned.”
“Tell you what,” he said, releasing her hand and taking a step back from her, “I’m not going to pressure you into this. The guests know there is a possibility there won’t be a wedding, so don’t feel like you have a responsibility to go through with this. Just think about it and if your answer is no, we’ll call it off. If your answer is yes, then I’ll see you down front at about seven. I’ll be the one wearing the penguin suit.” He kissed her hand and smiled, although the doubt swam in his eyes. Ally tried to return his smile, but found she couldn’t. She watched as he left and turned back to look at the room. All of this was for her.
Jumping at the sound of a slamming door, Ally whirled around to see Lana looking at her with her hand on her hips. “You mean to tell me after all this, you didn’t jump into his arms, confess your undying love and beg him to let you marry him? How could you be so cruel to refuse all this! Are you forgetting that I’m the one who had to coax you out of your shell again since high school? This was your chance to get it right! To make all the pain of the years you’ve spent apart go away!”
“I know, Lana,” Ally said, trying to suppress a smile that suddenly bubbled to the surface.
“So are you going to marry him or not?”
Ally allowed the grin to blossom on her face as she tossed Lana a sassy look over her shoulder. “Of course I’m going to marry him. Are you daft?”
Lana laughed out loud. “At least you’ve got a little sense left in you.” She walked over and gave Ally a hug and kiss on the cheek. “He’s one amazing guy, Ally. And he’s absolutely crazy about you.”
“I know. I’m pretty crazy about him, too. But there’s nothing like feeling like your legs have been snatched from under you. I’m still shocked. And shocked you were involved.”
“Alright, we’ve got a lot to do today so let’s get started,” Lana babbled, turning toward the dress.
“Wait just a minute. I’ve got a few questions for you, Lana.” Lana stopped and turned around, giving her a wan smile.
“How long have you know about this?”
“Um…” Lana looked thoughtful as she tapped her finger to her chin. “Since your first date?”
“And last night?”
“Was your bachelorette party.”
“And in that bag over there?”
“Is the dress you picked out.”
“The dress?”
“It’s the dress, yes.” Lana rushed over to the bag and unzipped it, bringing out the most beautiful gown Ally had ever laid eyes on. It had been on display when they walked through town a few weeks ago and Ally, having wedding bells in her ears, had admitted that it was her dream dress. She could just envision herself walking down the aisle to meet Jesse in it.
Ally looked at her sister. “Thank you, Lana. I’m sorry I doubted you, too.”
“It was to be expected,” she said with a shrug. “I knew it wouldn’t last long.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. It’s not everyday your sister gets married. I hope today is all you’ve ever dreamed of. Heaven knows we worked hard enough to keep it a secret and still find out what you like.”
Just the thought that Jesse was still hers was all she needed. “It’s already been a dream come true.”
Chapter 14
Five Years Earlier
Opening the window, she saw he held a wrapped gift under one arm and as he lifted a lean, hard leg into her room and stood before her, she suddenly realized how small the room actually was. He towered above her, looking down at her with his eyes smiling. She could have gotten lost in those eyes. They were blue as the depths of the sea, bluer than the sky just before day break, with rich brown hair to sharply contrast them.
“Hey you, you haven’t crawled through my window in ages. This must be important,” she teased.
“Well, it is important.” His eyes swept over her, and she realized she wore some short shorts and camisole without a bra. She suddenly felt self-conscious. It wasn’t anything Jesse hadn’t seen a million times before, but after this summer, his eyes wandered over her like he was a wild animal that hadn’t feasted for days. “Why don’t you put on a robe?” His flat, hard tone indicated he wasn’t asking her either.
As she did, he motioned for her to sit down on the edge of the bed with him. The look on his face that alerted her.
“There’s been a change of plans. I have to leave first thing in the morning for NYU. There’s some scholarship issues that I have to take care of, and if I wait a few more days to leave, it might be too late to get in for this semester. I wanted to say goodbye.” Jesse’s eyes were sad, as was his frown.
“Goodbye?” she choked.
“Yeah, I’m sorry Ally. I didn’t expect this to happen. I wanted to spend every second I could with you before morning. I brought this for you.” He handed her the pretty wrapped gift and she looked at him.
“I don’t have anything for you.” She figured this was some sort of going away present.
“I didn’t expect you to. This is part of your graduation present from me. You can’t open it until after I leave.”
“Okay,” she said, smiling devilishly and shaking it.
“Don’t,” Jesse said, chuckling, “You’ve always been so impatient.” He ran a finger down her face lovingly and when his eyes softened at her and his gaze dropped to her lips. She stopped smiling and stopped breathing.
“I’m gonna miss you. This summer has been the best one of my life with you,” she admitted before she could stop herself.
�
�Oh, Ally,” Jesse sighed, pulling her into her arms. “Don’t say that. It makes me want to stay right here with you and forget all about school.”
“I wouldn’t have a problem with that,” she said into his ear softly, loving the feel of his arms around her, “Except we might get sick of each other.”
He chuckled huskily into her ear. “Never.” It was a whisper, one that caused her to draw back and look into his eyes and read once more, just like the night of her graduation, the need in his eyes.
When Jesse’s mouth lowered onto hers, she met him halfway, knowing this was where she was meant to be. Their tongues fought, danced and finally made love to each other in a kiss that wasn’t awkward or unknowing. It was like Jesse knew her inside and out. Like they were made for each other. His hands were in her hair, and a soft whimper escaped her lips as he spread kisses down her neck.
“I want to kiss you everywhere,” he murmured against her ear, causing a quake of passion to explode within her. Before she knew it, Jesse had expertly placed her beneath him on her bed and his hand was undoing the tie on her robe only to push it open and place his large hands against her slender waist, pulling her hips off the bed to meet him.
“I want you again,” he said with a smile, pulling his shirt over his head.
“Lock my door.” Jesse did as she asked and stood her up when he returned to the bed. She suddenly felt shy in front of him, afraid of what tomorrow would bring after this inevitably took place.
He tilted her face upward, so that she could see into his deep brown eyes.
“I want to see you. I want to see how this makes you feel.” His fingertips trailed down her face but then he stopped and pulled away. “As much as I want to do this, you’re dad is in the house. I don’t want him pulling out the shotgun when he breaks the door down and finds me making love to his daughter.” He swallowed her smile with the most toe-curling kiss she’d ever experienced.
The reality of what tomorrow would bring finally hit her. Jesse was leaving for NYU the next day, and Ally wouldn’t see him again until at least Christmas.
“Oh, Ally,” he sighed.
“I know, Jesse, I know.”
“Your dad would kill me if he found out about this summer.” He struggled to right his jeans and once that was accomplished he handed Ally her robe. She wrapped it around her and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. They each studied their bare feet, trying to figure out what to say to each other next.
Finally, Ally heard the gentle ker-thunk of him swallowing thickly, and looked into his face. Smiling gently, she whispered, “It’s okay. We’ll be okay.”
“Think so?” he asked thoughtfully and then suddenly turned to her and took her face in his hands, gazing down at her lips until he lowered his face and settled them over hers. It wasn’t a sensual kiss, although Ally certainly recognized how readily it affected her, but more of a kiss to stake his territory.
When he pulled away he pressed his forehead to hers. “You know how I feel about you, Ally.”
“Don’t, Jesse,” she couldn’t bear to hear him say it.
“I need you to hear this,” he said almost desperately and shifted until his foot was underneath him, and he was looking at her face-to-face. “This summer has been amazing, don’t you think?” At her nod, he moved his thumbs over her jaw and lower lip. “I love you. It will always be you that I love, no one else… ever.”
Ally smiled through her tears.
He shifted again, his eyes suddenly taking on an urgent quality. He continued, “I want to make all your dreams come true. We can be happy together, Ally. We can build a life. We’ve been best friends for so long that I know we’ll be happy.” Grabbing the box he’d brought in earlier, he handed it to her.
She stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do. She had a feeling whatever it was in that box was monumental. After a brief hesitation, she unwrapped the ornate paper and opened it. Inside was a small note that read:
I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. I’m in love with you, Ally.
—Jesse—
A broken sob escaped her throat as she looked at the plane ticket at the bottom of the box. It was a one-way ticket to New York. She looked up at him, and he smiled tenderly.
“One of your dreams is to get out of this town, isn’t it?” She could only nod her head in affirmation as she choked on the tears that were overwhelming her. “There’s more,” he said and reached inside the box.
“When he retracted his hand, he held a small black velvet box and her eyes widened and the wind left her lungs. Surely that wasn’t-
“It’s a promise ring, Ally. I want to marry you. I was so lonely without you last year. I don’t want to ever know what it’s like to be without you again.”
He slipped the ring on her finger, and she looked at him it for a long moment, overwhelmed.
“What is it?” he asked gently.
Looking up at him, she knew then and there, with all the wisdom an eighteen-year-old could have, that there would never be another person she’d love more. “I love you,” she whispered, “I want this so much.”
“Then come to New York.”
She suddenly sobered and touched his face. “I need to think.”
Jesse smiled. “The plane leaves tomorrow at noon. If you decide not to come, it won’t change our friendship. I know I’ve thrown a lot at you. Just know that I love you and I want to make you happy.”
After a long hug and lingering kiss, he slipped out of her window leaving her to sink into her bed and spend a sleepless night wondering why she was hesitating.
The next morning, her father delivered the blow.
“What’s the matter, Daddy?” she sat up in bed and crossed her legs Indian style.
“We need to talk.”
“Oh, no,” she groaned, seeing the serious look on his face.
“The last thing I want to do is upset you. Lana just called. She’s in a bad situation and needs our help to get away from her husband. He’s been hitting her.”
Ally shot out of his arms, tears brimming her eyes. “Why hasn’t someone told me before now?”
“She’s handling it okay and taking some self defense classes. She’s pretty sure it will take a few years to free herself up from him legally but until then she’s playing it low. I need your help, baby girl. Your sister needs your help.”
Ally’s mind was racing in a million different directions and she slowly nodded, knowing that Jesse would understand. She couldn’t help Lana from NYU.
“Of course, Daddy.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Ally.”
With that, he got up and left the room.
When the door closed, Ally felt sadness overwhelm her. Ally felt the tears against her cheek before she realized she was crying. Her bright future, the one that everyone had talked about on her graduation day now looked desolate and lonely. She cried for her sister’s safety. Thanked Him for the opportunity to fall for someone like Jesse and have him in her life for so long. Because she knew now, things were really about to change. Jesse wouldn’t want to have a long distance relationship. She wasn’t sure she did, either.
When the time came, Ally grabbed her purse and set out for the airport. Jesse’s promise ring was on her finger and her steps were sure. She’d tell Jesse to wait for her. She’d tell him how much she loved him.
But was that really fair to him? To ask him to wait indefinitely for her when he was only nineteen years old? No, the timing was all wrong, especially now that her sister needed her. He’d be better off thinking she didn’t want something so intimate. At least then they could still be friends. He wouldn’t want someone with so much baggage. He’d want to go out and party and make love until sunrise. The thought made her sick, but she knew it was what needed to be done. Jesse needed to be free of her.
****
Present Day
It was almost noon when Ally and Lana pulled out of the church parking lot to head to the salon for their
hair appointments.
“Do we have time to make a quick stop before we get our hair done?” Ally asked and instantly Lana knew what Ally wanted.
“Of course.”
Lana pulled into the graveyard driveway only a few moments later. Communicating with their eyes, Lana stayed behind as Ally headed to the tombstone she’d avoided for far too long. She was too young when her mother had died to truly have any real memories, but the ones she thought she had were as ghostly as the graveyard she now walked through.
It was the one thing Jesse couldn’t give her today. Her mother.
As she approached, she didn’t feel the incredible sadness she usually felt. Maybe it was the beautiful, mild spring day or the fact that today she would soon become Mrs. Jesse Richards. Or maybe it was because Jesse had somehow healed all the pain inside her by allowing her to find herself again.
Ally fell to her knees at the tombstone that had her mother’s name on it. Fresh lavender roses lay before her. Jesse. Of course. He’d spent hours during their adolescence listening to her mourn a mother she’d never known.
“I wish you could be here today, Mom, to help me get ready. To pin the veil on me and watch me marry him. I know you had to have dreamed about doing that for Lana and me. But I’ve got a little piece of you today. Daddy says all the time that Lana is just like you. And I have her. She’s an amazing woman you’d be proud of. Daddy’s even moved on with a sweet lady you would just love…”
Ally kissed her fingertips and traced her mother’s name on the tombstone with them. “I love you, Mom. I miss you.”
Ally sat there for a long moment, tears streaming, a healing balm that washed over her. As she stood, she touched the lavender roses with a smile, loving Jesse and his thoughtfulness.
“Thank you,” she whispered and she turned to walk away.
Back at the church, she was almost ready to begin getting dressed when a soft knock fell on her door.
“Come in!” she called, her back to the door.
“Hey, Ally.”
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