He tugged her closer, pressing her disgustingly foul body to his clean-smelling torso. “Then you need to take a second look because you slay me with how sexy you are. When you’re dusty, when you’re clean, when you’re in cutoffs and a t-shirt. Fuck, especially when you’re in those hot little cutoffs. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep.”
She’d never been that to anyone. At least that she knew of.
“I haven’t had much luck with relationships,” she admitted as he came closer, their lips inches apart. “I’m sort of backwards in that respect. Sex hasn’t been anything to write home about, either. I’ve never seen what the big deal was.”
His grin was predatory, almost feral, and a shiver of anticipation ran down her spine. “Then get a pen and paper, honey, because I intend to rectify that. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow night, but eventually.”
Then his lips were on hers and all rational thought fled from her mind. The kiss was tender but demanding, his tongue sweeping her mouth with a mastery and expertise she’d never known before and had a feeling never would again with anyone else. He knew his way around her mouth and body, his hands stroking up and down her spine, eventually coming to rest at the curve of her bottom. By the time he raised his head she was a quivering mass of sensation, her knees turned to jelly. This man ought to be outlawed in all fifty states and the European Union. He was lethal but she loved it.
“Soak as long as you want, honey. I’ll be downstairs waiting for you.” He turned to leave the bathroom but stopped in the doorway. “I’ll always wait for you.”
He shut the door behind him and she sank down to sit on the edge of the tub, her entire body shaking with emotions she hadn’t felt in a long time. She liked Evan, respected him, cared about him, and admired him. He was a good man to help her and dammit, he was sexy as hell too. She’d be crazy to turn away from him and crazier to get involved, considering all that was happening in her life.
One thing he’d said had caught her attention. He’d lived his life for a long time based on other people’s rules and wants. Now he wanted to live by his own. It sounded like good advice and it was time to take it.
Time to live instead of simply exist. Time to…maybe…love.
Chapter Seventeen
Josie did feel a thousand percent better after her bath and the pain medication kicked in. She’d assumed when Evan spoke about dinner they’d end up at the diner but he had other ideas. They were currently pulling into a parking space of a well-known chain restaurant in Ocala. At first she’d balked when she realized what direction they were heading but he’d assured her that no one knew where she was and that even if they did, a crowded eatery wasn’t a place they were going to try and get her.
A warm glow took up residence in her chest when he caught her hand in his as they entered the restaurant and even when they followed the hostess to their table. It made the entire evening more date-like and it also made her stomach flutter with nerves. He slid into the booth opposite her and opened the menu.
“I don’t know about you but I’m dying for something different than pizza and diner fare. I’m glad you were okay with coming here.”
Josie opened her own menu and saw several things that looked delicious. After a hard afternoon, she had the appetite of a lumberjack.
“My memory must have been affected by the sun today because I don’t remember being given a choice as you were barreling down the highway to get here. Unless I wanted to hurl myself from a vehicle going over sixty miles per hour, of course, but I was too sore to reach for the door handle.”
Evan gave her a quick sideways glance and grinned. “You get sassy when you’re not feeling your best. I like it.”
Rolling her eyes, Josie groaned as she shifted in her seat, moving her legs experimentally. “Then you’re going to worship me by the time this evening is over. I’m stiffening up like an eighty-year-old woman. Really, they’ve shot horses for less.”
She was being dramatic but it was kind of fun.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Do you know what you’re going to have?”
“One of everything,” Josie sighed. “And then dessert. I’m so hungry.”
“You might want to pace yourself, honey. They have excellent cheesecake here and you won’t want to miss it.”
“I’m eyeing the lemon bread pudding.”
All day they’d worked but had fun too so she was fairly relaxed and happy. So it was a shock to her system when two police officers came through the doors, their uniforms and weapons capturing her attention and setting her heart into an uneven rhythm. She should never have left Cypress Corner or Evan’s house.
She buried her face in the menu, her hands shaking with fear and her mouth cotton ball dry. Despite how wonderful Evan was, her life kind of sucked right now. She’d be a fool to forget that for even a moment.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Evan’s fingers tugged the menu out of her hands and placed it on the table. “You’re fine. They’re not here for you, just for dinner. They sat way on the other side. Let me repeat that. They don’t have any interest in you and they can’t even see us from where they’re sitting.”
Josie took several deep breaths to calm herself, hating to show this much weakness in front of Evan. He must think she was some sort of nervous Nellie but the thought of going to jail was more than she could deal with.
“I panicked for a minute.”
“That’s normal. Just remember that I’m here to help you. If I thought this wasn’t a good idea or that you were in any danger, I’d take you right out of here. Can you trust me?”
She already had.
“Yes, and as soon as my heart starts beating normally I’ll say thank you again. I needed to tell someone and you were there. You could have judged me or kicked me out but you didn’t.”
“That never would have happened.” He closed his own menu and took a sip of his water. “I’m proud of you today. You stuck with it and didn’t give up. I was hard on you, there’s no doubt about that, but you came through with flying colors.”
Josie rubbed her sore shoulder as the waitress came to take their order. “And those colors are black and blue.”
They ordered – a steak and potato for him and a grilled chicken breast and fries for her. The bread basket was filled along with yummy honey butter and Josie held off just until the waitress was a few feet away before tearing into it, sighing as the warm goodness hit her taste buds. She might have been embarrassed to relish her meal so fully but Evan was doing the same, a big smile on his face as he chewed.
“It’s nice to be out with a woman who enjoys her food. So many just pick at it and I feel like such a pig when I eat in front of them.”
She swallowed the last bite of her dinner roll and reached for a second. “Glad I could assuage your guilt. I’ve never understood those females that live on kale and water. I like to eat. I can cook too when I’m in the mood.”
“I’m going to test that theory when we’re done with the kitchen. It’s been a long time since I had a home-cooked meal.”
She really was a decent cook, although she tended to make pastas and non-fancy comfort food. Gourmet anything wasn’t really her style. Despite her jobs in the design world, Josie was a regular girl. She liked jeans and t-shirts, she liked spaghetti and meatballs and pot roast, she liked going to the movies, and hanging out with friends having a few drinks. She wasn’t difficult to entertain and she could spend time by herself without going crazy. She’d spent time at high-class cocktail parties in New York City but she’d never fit in, and she’d finally come to the realization that she didn’t want to.
Which only made her wonder what kind of women Evan had been with in the past. Was his style glamorous and sexy? He’d said he thought she was beautiful when she was sweaty and dirty but perhaps because it was a novelty?
“I bet women cook for you all the time.”
Two glasses of wine were placed in front of the
m and then the waitress silently slipped away, only pausing their conversation for a moment, but it felt like an eternity as Josie waited for his answer. Evan was handsome, sexy, and funny. He’d probably had lots of girlfriends and she was afraid she couldn’t compete. She’d been so busy working she hadn’t dated much. One serious boyfriend and a smattering of casual dates was the sum total of her love life so far. She hadn’t minded until now when some sophistication and experience with romance would certainly help.
“Hardly.” Evan laughed before taking a sip of his wine. “My career and relationships didn’t mix well. I traveled quite a bit and worked very long hours. Most women don’t want a man that’s never there and breaks dates at the last minute, and I know that because they told me so. In vivid detail. I was a lousy boyfriend so eventually I…”
His voice trailed off and he was shifting uncomfortably in his seat as if he’d said more than he intended.
“Eventually?” Josie prompted, hoping he would finish his sentence. She wanted to know more about this man. She wanted to know the name of his first dog and what his favorite ice cream flavor was. She wanted to know everything because they might not have much time to learn about each other. There was a large part of her that felt like she needed to rush.
His lips twisted and he rubbed his chin, clearly not comfortable with what he was about to reveal, which only made her want to know what he had been going to say even more.
“I eventually tried the friends with benefits thing. It seemed like a smart idea at the time.”
His tone made it sound like it hadn’t turned out that way.
“I’ve never done anything like that,” she admitted, twirling her wine glass by its stem. “It seems kind of, I don’t know, cold-blooded. But I can see why you would though. If your career is so crazy and all.”
“You don’t have to be polite. It didn’t turn out like I thought it would. It was empty and cold. Maybe when I was younger it would have been okay, but at my age sex without emotion just doesn’t do it for me anymore.”
“Not many men would admit that.”
“I think you might be surprised.”
“I’m willing to keep an open mind about it.” Josie dug into the salad that had been placed in front of her. “So tell me something else about yourself. You said that you were in the military. How did that come about?”
His eyebrow quirked in question. “Do you really want to know or are you just being polite?
“I really want to know.”
He heaved a large sigh and took a long drink of his wine. “You asked for it. But the story starts much earlier. It’s really all about my childhood.”
* * * *
Evan didn’t really want to do a post-mortem on his upbringing. His parents were wonderful people who had raised their children well. There wasn’t a juvenile delinquent in the bunch and they’d all grown to have responsible careers but there had been a price for that as far as he was concerned.
Individuality.
His parents had come from the generation where conformity was prized and considered a virtue, and they had passed that belief down to their progeny. Evan and his siblings had grown up with certain expectations and questioning those was not something that was encouraged.
“I had a normal upbringing. My dad was an electrician and owned his own company and my mom did the books while raising us kids. It was pretty typical, I would guess. We had enough money to go on a vacation in the summer but not enough that we were rolling in it. Strictly middle class. With four kids, they had their hands full and dinner was an event. Back then we were all expected to sit down at the table as a family. I kind of miss that. They’d ask us about our day. They really cared. Hell, my dad was the Little League coach when I was growing up and my mom was a member of the PTA.”
“Sounds very ‘Leave it to Beaver’,” Josie teased. “Very different than my own childhood.”
“It was…comfortable…and secure.” Evan struggled to put his feelings into words. “At least it felt that way. I thought my parents were perfect and our life seemed so ordinary. In a good way. They had barbecues in the summer and invited their friends. In the winter, they had parties and played bridge. As kids we played outside and got dirty, sneaking cigarettes and girly magazines behind the barn. It was all innocence and naïveté, and to be honest it didn’t prepare us for the real world in the least.”
Josie reached for his hand, tangling their fingers together but not saying anything, content to let him gather his thoughts and speak when he was ready.
“My mom and dad were big on responsibility and service. For as long as I can remember, my old man talked about military service being the making of a man. He talked about his own Army days constantly, all his buddies and the fun things they’d done. He made it sound like the most wonderful thing in the world. It was expected that me and my brother would enlist.”
Josie’s expression had dimmed considerably as if she could foresee what he was going to say.
“And you did enlist.”
Evan nodded, his own thoughts back in that time so long ago. “I never even questioned it and looking back that shocks me. It was as if I didn’t have a mind of my own. Dad wanted me to play football, baseball, and play the guitar. So that’s what I did. Then he wanted me to go into the military. So I did that too. I guess I just wanted to please them, you know? Make them happy. We all did, looking back on it. Not one of the four of us rebelled in any way until my younger sister did in college. She got pregnant and then she married the father. They’re happy and still together but the very idea that Carli had sex sent my mother to her bed for days.”
It all seemed so incredibly dramatic, looking back on it. Carli had been twenty-two and girls that age had sex even if a parent was in deep denial. Evan and his siblings had a running joke that they still thought the two unmarried kids were virgins despite being over thirty.
“I’m guessing the Army wasn’t as fun as your father made it sound.”
Evan didn’t speak much about his time in the military. He’d had a love-hate relationship with the Army. He’d loved the feeling of accomplishment and the camaraderie but he’d hated the bureaucracy.
“I will say he was right about one thing. It did make me grow up and take on real responsibility. Of course, one could make the argument I could have learned that as a civilian as well. But there’s something about having the lives of others dependent on you doing your job. It will grow your ass up in a hurry.”
“And all that fun your father had? Do you think he was making it up?”
Evan could tell Josie a few stories that would horrify her. In his younger days, he and his buddies had been hellions when they were on leave.
“No, he was telling the truth, although he might have embellished here and there. I had fun too. But Dad was in the Army during peace time and he wasn’t in as long as I was. It was different.”
The waitress slid their steaming hot meals in front of them and the smell of charred meat and spices wafted up from the plate. Evan’s stomach growled in approval.
“This looks delicious,” Josie hummed in anticipation as she took her first bite of chicken. “And it tastes even better. Or maybe I’m just starved.”
“Do you want to try a piece of my steak?” Evan offered.
Josie laughed and shook her head. “I know you want every bite just as I want all of mine. Keep your paws off my dinner, buster.”
One of the things he liked so much about her was that she enjoyed her food and didn’t make any bones about it. She had a strong indulgent side that boded well for how she would be between the sheets.
“I know better than to put any fingers within a foot of your plate.”
“Maybe I’ll share dessert with you.”
Snorting, Evan slathered butter on his baked potato. “I think that’s a big maybe. Seriously, how is your dinner? You’re making yummy noises so I’m guessing it was worth the drive out here?”
“It’s heavenly and yes, it was worth it
. Thank you for bringing me here.” Josie took a sip of her wine. “You said you were going to explain what made you become a cop but so far all I’ve heard about is your Army days.”
“The two are inextricably entwined. I never intended on staying in the military as long as I did but with everything going on in the Middle East, I felt they needed me. Once I did get out I was thirty years old, no college degree, and no job. One of my Army buddies talked about how the Marshal Service was recruiting. When I mentioned it to my parents they were thrilled. A steady job with the government plus I would still be serving my country, only in a different way. Needless to say I got the job and I worked there while finishing up my degree until I was shot in the leg.”
He stopped there, formulating what to say about his life when he wasn’t sure he even understood it. Many things didn’t make sense right now.
“They wanted you to go to a desk job? Be a supervisor?”
“They offered me my own team but it didn’t appeal to me. Still doesn’t. My family and friends – well, a few friends – think I’ve lost my mind. Marisa, my former partner, has even started calling some of my cop pals trying to get them to talk to me about going back.”
That reminded him that he needed to call her and tell her to back the hell off. She’d crossed a line talking to Seth and she needed to understand his life decisions were not up for discussion just because they’d slept together for a few months.
“Then you became a sheriff.”
“And then I quit,” he completed the story. “I did that because once again it was expected of me. But I’m damn tired of doing what everyone else wants me to do. I want to do what I want to do. Does it make me sound weak that I spent all these years doing things for the wrong reasons?”
“No, not at all.” Josie shook her head, her green eyes soft in the dim lighting. “You weren’t miserable and there were aspects of the job you enjoyed. I’m betting there are many people doing jobs they absolutely hate for worse reasons. I’m kind of in the same boat. I grew to hate design because it was so competitive and catty. Very dog eat dog. My waitress job sucked too. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be when I’m grown up, to be frank. So I’m not much different than you, Evan. My big fear right now is that I won’t get a chance to make any changes to my life. That I’ll end up in prison or dead first.”
Justice Reborn (Cowboy Justice Association Book 8) Page 11
