by Kara Louise
Elizabeth smiled, fully cognizant of the fact that she would never receive an invitation to such a ball or to dance with such gentlemen, being in the position in which she now found herself. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to dream, as Rosalyn finished her narrative.
At length, Rosalyn softened her voice and her light blue eyes widened.
“Elizabeth, do you think a gentleman would find me attractive?”
Elizabeth looked at her and tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, teasing her with her scrutiny.
“Please, Elizabeth! I am serious!”
“I think any man would find you a most handsome young lady!”
“You do not say that merely to appease me?”
“Rosalyn, you have beautiful blue eyes, a fine nose, nicely shaped lips, and a tall, slender figure,” Elizabeth assured her. “You have a charming personality and I know that you must certainly turn many a man’s head.”
“Please do not think me silly, Elizabeth, it is just that sometimes I wonder why…” She took in a deep breath and pursed her lips.
“Rosalyn? What is it you wonder?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “It is just that he never looks my way.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “He?” she asked teasingly. “Who is he?”
Rosalyn gave her head a firm shake. “Oh, I could never tell!”
“Pray, Rosalyn! Why?”
“He is far above me, above our family. He would never take a second look at me.”
“Rosalyn, your family is much esteemed. Why would you say that?”
“To own the truth, Elizabeth, my father married beneath him. My mother had no noticeable connections, and growing up, I felt the disdain of many families who were of more refined and well-bred society.”
“Oh, Rosalyn, certainly you must be mistaken.”
“Whether or not I am mistaken, this gentleman has never acknowledged me, and if Lorraine knew that I continued to pine for him, she would scold me ruthlessly!”
Elizabeth laughed. “Pine for him? Can you not tell me more? Now I am dying with curiosity.”
“I will only say that he is a man who lived near my family when I was growing up. The first time I ever saw him, I just knew he was the one I wished to marry! But I could never tell you his name!”
Elizabeth laughed softly and leaned in toward Rosalyn. “And you still pine for him?”
She nodded her head slowly. “My whole family knew of my infatuation with him when I was younger, and they laughed and thought me young and silly. Now that I am older…”
“Your feelings are unchanged.”
“Yes,” she said as she nodded her head.
“If you cannot tell me his name, you must tell me everything else about this man!”
“Well,” Rosalyn dropped her eyes and a blush softly coloured her features. “He is terribly handsome. Tall and handsome. And he is wealthy, although I really cannot say that is all that appeals to me.” She paused and bit her lower lip. “Well, perhaps a little bit. I suppose that is a good thing.” She was rambling now, and Elizabeth made a futile attempt to stifle a smirk. “He is a good, principled man, from everything I hear. No one speaks ill of him.”
She gave Elizabeth a pointed look. “Should I allow myself to hope that he would notice me?”
“Rosalyn, if he is such a man as you describe, you have no reason to be ashamed of your feelings. And he would be a fool not to take notice of you.”
A satisfied smile graced Rosalyn’s lips. “You are too kind, Elizabeth.”
That night as Elizabeth lay in her bed, her head swirled with thoughts of balls and dances and being presented to the queen and handsome gentlemen. But it was the image of one particular gentleman that kept intruding, reminding her that any happiness for her sister had been destroyed by his actions.
***
It was in the latter part of the following week that Elizabeth began to hear of preparations for visitors who were to come the following Saturday. Mrs. Willstone, who was the embodiment of a charming hostess, worked closely with the kitchen staff in planning the refreshments and meal that would be served. She arranged every detail from the time guests would arrive, which was about five o’clock in the afternoon, through to the conclusion of the evening.
Elizabeth was informed that they would prefer to visit with their guests without the presence of Emily, but that they would send for her at some time in the evening. Mrs. Willstone instructed Elizabeth to take her dinner with Emily early and then have her ready to come down for a short visit when she was summoned and then return to her chambers afterward.
She heard little about the guests who were coming; only that there would be a party of eight. Mrs. Willstone and Rosalyn had grown up near one of the young ladies and they were both anxious to meet the young man about whom there had been much speculation. Tongues wagged that he would soon make her an offer. Rosalyn appeared to be overly concerned about making a good impression on this particular couple and repeatedly consulted Elizabeth about what to wear, how to style her hair, and even what song to play if she was asked to perform on the pianoforte.
On Saturday, Elizabeth knew her greatest responsibility was to keep little Emily quiet and out of everyone’s way. Mrs. Willstone kept busy with the kitchen staff, ensuring everything was coming along as desired. She walked through the house, inspecting it for cleanliness, and admonished the staff if something was not up to her expectations.
Elizabeth was grateful for the mild day, which meant that she and Emily could spend a good amount of time outdoors and out of the way. A small play area in the rear of the house afforded Emily with some delightful amusements. Elizabeth obligingly pushed Emily in the swing and helped her build sand castles in the sandbox, making up a story for the young girl about a handsome prince who lived in the very castle they built.
After the noon meal, Elizabeth and Emily took a long walk to a park down the street where they enjoyed the array of beautiful flowers lining the path and listened to the flurry of birds as they sang their cheerful songs. Elizabeth enjoyed teaching Emily all the names of the flowers that grew nearby and the birds that flew overhead. Emily seemed just as eager to learn.
When they returned to the house, they proceeded upstairs, where Emily napped and Elizabeth took the opportunity to read. Per Mrs. Willstone’s wish, they ate an early supper and then returned upstairs to dress for company. Once they were ready, Elizabeth would keep Emily entertained with some books until the young girl was called for.
They were finishing up their first book when Elizabeth heard the bell announce the arrival of guests. Emily was eager to go down and meet them, but Elizabeth reminded her that the adults wished to have some time together and they would call for her when they wanted her to join them.
Finally, after finishing three books and playing with her new doll for a short while, a young servant girl, Lilia, came to the door to summon them. Emily anxiously jumped to her feet, ready to run downstairs, but Elizabeth stopped her.
“Now, Emily, let me have a look at you to make sure you are presentable.” Elizabeth turned the girl completely around, readjusting a curl that had fallen out of place. “Remember to be very polite and curtsey, say ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ and only speak when spoken to.”
“Yes, Miss Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth smoothed out the young girl’s dress. “There! I do believe you are ready!”
Emily clasped her hands and then took one of Elizabeth’s in her own. “Come, Miss Bennet.”
“No, I believe I will stay here,” Elizabeth told Emily. “Miss Lilia shall take you down.”
Lilia looked at Elizabeth and with a nod of her head said, “I understand that you are expected to come down as well.”
“Are you quite sure? I would not wish to impose.”
Emily looked at Elizabeth and back at the maid. “She would not impose, would she?”
Lilia laughed. “No, Miss Emily, I do not believe so.” She turned to Elizabeth. “Come along with
us, Miss Bennet.”
Elizabeth looked at the little girl. “Come, Emily. We shall both meet the guests, then.”
They walked down the stairs, or at least Elizabeth walked. Emily had more of a skip to her gait, as she was always eager to meet new people.
They walked in, and Elizabeth’s gaze drifted across the room. When Mrs. Willstone noticed them at the door, she smiled and beckoned them to come over.
A young lady, who was seated facing away from her, turned toward Elizabeth. She had blond hair and deep blue eyes. Elizabeth saw that she looked to be rather young. She smiled shyly at Elizabeth.
When the gentleman next to her turned, Elizabeth was rendered motionless for a few moments. A look of shock passed between both of them at first, and then a tentative smile came across the gentleman’s face. He stood up abruptly.
“Miss Bennet!” the young man exclaimed. “It is… it is good to see you again!” His features betrayed the awkwardness they both felt, and the young lady next to him looked somewhat bewildered, looking from him and back to Elizabeth.
“Mr. Bingley,” Elizabeth replied after quickly composing herself. “Is everything well with you?”
“I am… I am quite well, thank you,” he answered with a nervous laugh. “And you… and your family? Are they all well?” A deep questioning look swept over his face.
“You may not have heard that our father passed away last year.”
Mr. Bingley’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “No… no, I had not heard. Please accept my deepest condolences… to you and all your family. I imagine it must be very difficult.”
“Yes,” Elizabeth answered. “We are doing the best we can.”
An awkward pause took hold of the room as they looked at each other and then each looked away. It was shocking enough to be suddenly facing Bingley again, but worsened by the fact that he was standing next to the young lady she supposed had replaced Jane’s affections.
“Miss Bennet, you are acquainted with Mr. Bingley?” Mrs. Willstone quickly interjected.
Elizabeth looked to Mrs. Willstone. “Yes… yes, I am. He let a residence near Longbourn some time ago.”
Elizabeth looked directly at him. “I had heard that Netherfield was purchased.”
“Yes, I have not…” Bingley began. “I heard that as well.” He seemed at a loss for words. The young lady at his side continued to look from him to Elizabeth, and back to him again.
When the conversation between them ceased, Mrs. Willstone proceeded to make the rest of the introductions.
“May I introduce you all to Emily’s governess, Miss Elizabeth Bennet?” She then turned to Elizabeth. “Miss Bennet, this is Mr. and Mrs. Estes, Mr. and Mrs. Fountain, Mr. and Mrs. Hampton. You are acquainted with Mr. Bingley, and this fine young lady is Miss Georgiana Darcy.”
[1]*Draughts is the British name for the game of checkers.
Chapter 3
Elizabeth hoped that any awkwardness in her encounter with Mr. Bingley had not been noticed, but an occasional glance in Miss Darcy’s direction made her wonder about the young girl’s uneasy expression. A flush upon Elizabeth’s cheeks ensued when she thought that perhaps Miss Darcy knew she had refused her brother’s offer of marriage. More likely, perhaps, was that Miss Darcy’s attachment to Mr. Bingley prompted some feelings of jealousy, if she noticed their mutual discomfiture.
Elizabeth was grateful, then, as the others in the party turned their attention to Emily. Emily approached each person and curtseyed, bestowing on each the hope that all things were well with them and that it was a pleasure making their acquaintance.
Fortunately, Emily’s visit was relatively short, and her parents thanked Elizabeth and excused them. Emily bid each of them a good night, after which Elizabeth ushered her charge upstairs.
As Elizabeth’s hand rested upon the little girl’s shoulder, guiding her up the stairs, she teemed with disappointment as she considered that Jane’s hopes would now be hopelessly shattered. When she recalled Rosalyn’s words the other day about an announcement forthcoming, she realized it must have been Mr. Bingley and Miss Darcy of whom she spoke. Pausing slightly on the step, she found herself shaking uncontrollably as the disappointment gave rise to an overwhelming anger.
Emily looked up at Elizabeth. “Is there anything wrong, Miss Bennet?”
Elizabeth forced a smile and looked down, suddenly aware that she had to push away these feelings for the moment. “I am well. I only just remembered something.”
“What?”
Elizabeth grasped the young girl’s hand and patted it. “I forgot to tell you how well-mannered you were down there. You behaved superbly!”
Emily grinned and squeezed Elizabeth’s hand, holding it tightly as they went up to her room.
Elizabeth was tired and looked forward to some solitude. Fortunately, as Emily prepared for bed, she picked out one of the shorter storybooks for Elizabeth to read to her. Once she was tucked in and Elizabeth began to read, the little girl’s eyes grew heavy. The excitement of visitors this evening must have been too much for her, and she fell asleep even before Elizabeth turned to the final page. Elizabeth leaned over and kissed her good night and then quietly stepped out of the room.
Letting out a deep sigh of relief as she walked down the long hallway to her chambers, Elizabeth contemplated the time spent downstairs with Mr. Bingley and Miss Darcy. It was quite apparent that Mr. Bingley was unsettled when he saw Elizabeth. At times he appeared to be almost distracted; he looked at her as though he wished to say something to her, but then abruptly changed his mind.
He was polite and affable toward Miss Darcy, but Elizabeth clearly noticed the lack of intensity in his attentions to her. And Miss Darcy, although very polite, seemed even less outward in her regard for him than Jane ever had been. Perhaps Elizabeth was only seeing things the way she wished to see them.
She sat down on her bed and stared absently at the wall for a short time as she made an attempt to sort out her feelings. Another wave of disappointment flooded through her, swirling around with anger. She was greatly disappointed that Mr. Bingley had toyed with Jane’s heart, and had obviously taken and heeded the advice of his good friend.
She turned her head briskly to the side, stifling a sob. No! She would not allow herself to succumb to tears. How easily her tears fell when she considered how her father’s death turned her family out of their home. She was determined not to feel sorry for herself.
She consoled herself with the fact that she and Jane were in good homes and had pleasant wards. Jane had always enjoyed caring for the Gardiner children. Elizabeth could find no fault with the Willstones or Emily, but she was all too aware that it was a step down in society’s eyes for both of them. She could only imagine that after tonight’s visit, Mr. Darcy would come to know of it from his sister or Bingley. She pulled her feet up onto the bed and lay her head down on the pillow.
She often chided herself that as Mr. Darcy’s wife, she would have had it in her power to undo his one terrible injustice. As Mr. Bingley was his best friend and Jane was her sister, they would have had numerous opportunities to meet again and restore what they once had. Hence, Jane would likely be the one to marry Mr. Bingley instead of Miss Darcy. That was her one true regret in refusing him.
In the short time she was downstairs, Elizabeth had watched Miss Darcy, out of curiosity and a determination to find fault with her. Wickham had characterized her as proud, yet she saw nothing of that. Miss Darcy seemed a sweet, yet shy girl, and Elizabeth could not, in all honesty, blame Mr. Bingley for forming an attachment to her.
She pounded a fist onto her pillow. “But he loved Jane! I am certain of it!” Her fervent whisper was expelled forcefully from deep within her. She buried her head into the pillow, which acted as a handkerchief, catching the lone tear that slid down her cheek.
She lay there motionless for a while, and finally, after a few moments, Elizabeth arose and slowly changed into her nightdress. She occasionally heard laughter or an outbu
rst from the party downstairs. It distressed her to hear such joviality, knowing the pain it would instil in Jane once she was informed of their betrothal. It troubled her that she would be the one who would have to tell Jane before she heard it from someone else through some other means.
“Oh, Jane,” she whispered to herself. “You are the last person in the world that I would want to hurt with such information.”
She climbed into her bed after snuffing out the candle. With her eyes wide open, she stared upward in the darkened room and listened as the voices grew faint. At length, with the sound of a distant door closing, Elizabeth assumed that the guests had finally departed.
She rolled over and hoped that she would be able to sleep, putting tonight’s events out of her mind, but the insistent pounding of her heart and her turbulent thoughts did little to aid in her wish.
After a few minutes, there was a soft tap at Elizabeth’s door. She opened her eyes. “Yes?”
“Elizabeth, it is Rosalyn. May I come in?”
Elizabeth sat up in her bed, moving a strand of hair that had fallen across her face and wiping any telltale sign of a tear from her cheek.
“Yes, Rosalyn, do come in,” Elizabeth answered as cheerfully as she could, but truly wishing to be left alone.
Rosalyn walked in holding a candle. A soft glow lit both ladies’ faces.
“I am so sorry to disturb you, Elizabeth. Were you already asleep?”
“No, no, Rosalyn. I only now just slipped into bed. The guests are gone, I presume?”
“Yes,” Rosalyn answered and looked down at her hands. She looked up expectantly at Elizabeth as if she wished to say something.
“What is it, Rosalyn?”
“Is it… is it really true, Elizabeth?”
Although Elizabeth had not fallen asleep yet, she found it difficult to comprehend what Rosalyn was asking.
“Is what true, Rosalyn?”
“That you are acquainted with Mr. Darcy?”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened in surprise. “Mr. Darcy? I… I am… only a little. Why do you ask?”
