by Isaac Hooke
“Ha!” Bender said. “Got you to call me master! That’s a good bitch.”
“What happened at my base?” Surus asked. “I’m guessing you didn’t get my message to evacuate.”
“It was terrible, master,” Noctua said. “And no, we did not. At least not in time.”
“So what happened?”
“The Green Ghal arrived with a mercenary escort,” Noctua said. “Told us he wanted to have a meeting with you. When I explained you weren’t present, he insisted on docking and staying in the guesthouse. Well, as soon as he landed, his mercenaries attacked. I tried to call for help, but he had disabled our only comm node in orbit.
“Sweet master, forgive me, but I did not fight. I wanted to, but I knew we had to protect the Acceptor at all costs. I could have destroyed it, but then I would have trapped you in this galaxy forever. So, master, while the robots distracted Ghal and his mercenaries, I managed to sneak the Acceptor into a getaway shuttle. Using the thermal masking technology we secretly developed, I was able to make my way to the far side of the moon unnoticed, by flying close to the surface.
“I sent a final message to the base before leaving range, instructing the Artificials to store a message containing my planned location in a holographic drive, and to hide it with a timed nano transmitter. I could have dispatched a message to you over the InterGalNet once I was in range of the system comm nodes, but I was worried that the attackers might trace it or decrypt the contents, because as we know the InterGalNet is less secure than the private network you had set up on the base, so I chose the more subtle route.”
“You did well,” Surus said. “What happened after that?”
“I rendezvoused with the escape craft hidden on the far side of the moon and fled to the system’s trade port, pursued by Ghal the whole way. When I arrived I sold the ship—destroying any proprietary technology aboard beforehand of course—and then took passage on a merchant vessel. I stopped at several more stations along the way, switching ships each time to ensure Ghal and his mercenaries were no longer on my tail. I was careful to do all negotiations remotely, never emerging from the crate we used to store the Acceptor.” The owl nodded toward the polycarbonate contraption located underneath the Acceptor. Not a dais, but a crate. “The two Centurions were the ones who always interacted with the clients.”
“Surus, I thought I heard some chatter among the crew that this was some sort of bug out site you had set up ahead of time?” Manic asked.
“That’s right,” Surus said. “It is only one of many, meant for use in emergencies. I had hoped Noctua would find her way to one of these sites, and I planned to search them all if I hadn’t heard from her.”
“Why is it a bug out site?” Fret said. “Ordinarily, you’d have supplies, and maybe weapons, at such a site, wouldn’t you?”
“Speaking of which, where’d you get those blasters?” TJ nodded toward the weapons the two guard Centurions held.
“Noctua, show them,” Surus said.
The large metal cabinet placed against the wall past the Acceptor opened up, revealing a rack containing rifles, blasters, explosive charges, and grenades.
“Man, I love that little bitch!” Bender said. He shoved past the two guard robots, fastidiously sidestepped the Acceptor, and grabbed a large rifle from the rack. “Surus, my main woman! I’m taking you and your little bitch out for ice cream later. My treat.”
“No thanks,” Surus said.
“Ice cream!” Noctua purred. “I like ice cream!”
“No you don’t,” Surus said quickly.
“I don’t?” Noctua said.
“No.”
Noctua seemed puzzled. “But my artificial digestive system and taste buds can—”
Surus looked at the robot and said, firmly: “You do not like ice cream.”
“Don’t deprive the poor robot of her ice cream,” Bender said, looking up from petting the rifle.
“Unfortunately, I have a feeling ice cream has a double meaning in your case,” Surus said.
Bender flashed his golden grille. “For you it just might.”
“Wait,” TJ said. “What about the security cameras?” He pointed toward the small black vertical lines embedded in the walls between the security doors of the other storage units. Nano-cameras, most likely.
“The storage facility’s cameras utilize rudimentary security measures,” Noctua said. “I was able to obtain administrator access relatively easily, and applied an algorithmic filter to erase any weapons recorded by the feed in realtime. The Acceptor is also deleted from the feed, along with myself.”
“Well that will look kind of odd, our little party standing around an empty storage container,” Fret said.
“Not empty!” Noctua said. “The crate and cabinet will appear!”
“Oh, so it’s an empty crate lying on the floor that fascinates us,” Fret said. “All right, well, since the station’s security forces haven’t arrived yet, I guess the robot’s little hack worked.”
Rade turned toward Surus. “So what now, we destroy the Acceptor?”
“Not yet,” Surus said. “There is something I must do, first. I want to retrieve a certain set of technological blueprints from a planet that was once conquered by the Phants on the far side of the galaxy. Something to help fight the Greens, or any other Phants. Especially if they come against us en masse.”
“What are you talking about?” Rade said.
“A technology that allows for the creation of arcing plasma channels,” Surus said. “Current electrolaser designs are limited to a single plasma channel, as induced by the directed-energy laser. With the tech found in the device, I will be able to modify the stun rifle to daze multiple Phant targets at once.”
“Couldn’t you do the same thing by adding multiple laser emitters to the rifle?” Manic asked.
“In theory,” Surus said. “But for the same reason you can’t fire multiple lasers from multiple emitters on your rifles, it’s not practical.”
“SWAP-C trade offs,” TJ said. From what Rade understood, SWAP-C stood for Size, Weight And Power - Cooling. Basically, any change to one required a trade off in the others.
“Yes,” Surus agreed. “This technology uses something beyond lasers to induce the channel, with low power and cooling costs.”
“I don’t suppose you can tell us what the tech is?” Tahoe asked over the comm.
“Unfortunately, humanity does not yet have the necessary physics to understand it,” Surus said. “And I’m not at liberty, at the moment, to expound upon those physics.”
She stepped onto the Acceptor, keeping Noctua on her shoulder.
Obviously worried that she was going to activate the Acceptor while he was still in there, Bender hastily cleared the room, joining the others outside. He kept his newly acquired laser rifle in hand.
Surus moved to the weapons cabinet against the far wall. “If I am not back within ten hours, I want you to place the charges and destroy the Acceptor.” She retrieved a laser rifle, and shoved several grenades into the harness of her jumpsuit.
“Ten hours?” Rade said. “Why so long?”
She positioned herself in the center of the metal disk. “It may take some time to find precisely what I’m looking for. And this conquered planet I told you of? It remains inhabited by a remnant of the former alien species that once lived there. So the acquisition process might not prove as easy as I anticipate.”
“Let us come with you,” Rade said.
She shook her head. “The chances of success are higher if I go alone.”
Surus tossed Rade the 3D-printed access card. “Wait here until my return. Do not attempt to transfer the Acceptor to your ship: I may need to return at a moment’s notice, at any time within the next ten hours. I may be coming in hot, and if you block the Acceptor by placing it inside the carrying case, denying my teleportation, you could see the end of my host, Ms. Bounty.”
“That would be a damn shame!” Bender said.
�
�We could port the Acceptor without the crate, then,” Rade said. “That way we don’t block it.”
“And draw the attention of station security?” Surus said. “I don’t think so. AI cores throughout human space have imagery of all Phant-related tech stored in their databases; the recognition algorithms will flag you, and you will be detained while Dakota government officials are notified. We will lose the Acceptor, and we will have to stage another mission to get it back.”
“But Noctua can hack the security cameras?” Fret said.
“Can she also hack the eyes of any robots and humans that might see the device?” Surus said.
“Moron,” Bender told Fret.
“Now, if you don’t mind...” Surus said.
“Wait, you’ll disappear from the video feed when you teleport.” Rade nodded toward the security nano-cameras. “The storage facility’s AI could alert station security.”
She glanced at the owl. “Noctua, create avatars for me and the two Centurions, and make the necessary substitutions to the video feed.”
“Done, sweetest master!” Noctua said joyfully.
Surus shut her faceplate and turned toward Rade. “See you soon.”
The two guards stepped onto the Acceptor with her, then the robots, Surus, and Noctua vanished.
seven
Rade stared at the empty Acceptor.
“Well that’s that,” Manic said. “We’re left holding the bag as usual.”
“The adventures of Surus and her pet robot owl,” Lui said. “Together again like you’ve never seen them before.”
“They make quite the odd couple, don’t they?” TJ said.
“Almost makes me wish I was a little owl,” Bender said. “Snuggled up against that tight little ass...”
“You would wish that,” Manic said. “You gotta get that alien off your brain.”
“Why?” Bender said. “She’s going to give in, someday. Mark my words. Like I told you once before, it’s all about the long game.”
“Long game, ha!” Manic said. “Dude, you don’t recognize a lost cause when you see one.”
“Ah, you’re just a bitch anyway,” Bender said. “No reason I need to listen to you. When I got that fine ass beside me, whenever I look at you, I’ll just laugh, reminding myself that this is a man who never gets any pussy, and has no idea how to go about doing so.”
“Yeah, you laugh, Pussywillow,” Manic said. “And I’ll be laughing when she accidentally disintegrates you while climaxing.”
“I didn’t know Artificials could climax?” Fret said.
“As I stated before,” Harlequin said over the comm from the Argonaut. “We Artificials are entirely anatomically correct. And capable of experiencing every physical—”
“Shut it, AI!” Bender said. “Who asked you? Quit listening in!”
“The mission parameters require that I ‘listen in,’ as you put it,” Harlequin said. “Otherwise, I would have muted you the moment you opened your mouth.”
Bender wore an astonished expression. “Look at that. The insolence, the lip... AIs these days are off the hook. It never ceases to amaze me. We gotta stop designing these machines with so many freedoms. Time to start baking in some subservience into their Machine Constitution: not only are AIs never to harm their masters, they are never to insult them! Harlequin, you bitch, when I’m back aboard, we’re going to have a little talk in the lavatory. And when that talk is done, your head will be firmly lodged inside one of the toilets. After I’ve taken an unrestrained dump in it, of course.”
“I believe it will be your head you find lodged in a feces-filled toilet instead,” Harlequin said.
Bender’s mouth dropped open. “That’s it. I’m going back to have that talk right now.” He started marching down the passageway.
Rade raised a hand. “Hold, Bender.”
“Bitch insulted me!” Bender said.
“I know,” Rade said. “You both insulted each other. I want apologies across the board. You first.”
Bender swallowed, exchanging an embarrassed glance with Manic, who grinned widely. Finally Bender looked down, and said: “Sorry, Harley boy.”
“Now your turn, Harlequin,” Rade said.
No answer came over the comm.
“There, you hear that?” Bender said. “Nada. Zilch. See what I have to deal with?”
“I am sorry,” Harlequin finally transmitted.
“Say I’m sorry, master,” Bender said.
“Don’t press your luck,” Harlequin said.
Bender threw up his arms in frustration.
“All right, men,” Rade said. “We’re going to be camped out here for the next little while. Might as well grab yourselves some weapons and make yourselves comfortable.”
Rade stepped over the Acceptor and picked out a rifle from the rack. The others joined him. When everyone had a weapon, they vacated the storage unit, leaving it open.
“What do we do if another customer of the storage facility comes wandering by?” TJ said.
While the algorithms Noctua embedded into the security cameras might filter out the weapons, nothing would stop human eyes or standalone cameras from witnessing them. Though it was unlikely any clients would come by in the next little while, Rade wasn’t going to take any chances. The greeter robot might decide to make the rounds itself, for that matter.
“Algorithm, Brat, proceed to the main entrance and setup a watch,” Rade said. “Leave your weapons here. Notify us if the entrance opens.”
“Will do,” Algorithm said. The two combat robots vanished a moment later.
“What are you going to do if someone comes?” TJ said.
Rade shrugged. “We’ll pile into the storage unit, close it up, and wait until they leave.”
“What about Surus?” TJ asked. “We’ll be blocking the Acceptor.”
“I’m sure she can wait the few extra minutes for us to vacate it,” Rade said.
“Unless she’s coming in hot...” Fret said.
“Oh, she’ll be coming in hot all right,” Bender said. “Mm-hmm.”
“We’ll do our best not to block the Acceptor when we pile inside,” Rade said.
Rade found a seat for himself against the wall, and the others mimicked him. He activated the noise canceler in his helmet, extending it around himself, and tapped in Shaw on a private line.
“Hey babe,” Rade said.
“Hey,” Shaw said. “Tahoe told me what happened. Apparently Surus decided to abandon you all for some conquered world exploration.”
“Something like that,” Rade said. “She claims she wants to grab special tech that will help stun multiple Phants at once. I’m not sure I buy it. She seemed a little too reluctant to allow the rest of us along.”
“Well I for one am happy that she left you all behind,” Shaw said. “The last thing I need is to be worrying about you traveling to the far side of the galaxy without me.”
“I would have invited you along...” Rade said.
“As if I’m going to abandon the twins,” Shaw said.
“No, I suppose not,” Rade said. It felt a little strange having to compete for Shaw’s attention, and her affection. He was accustomed to having her all to himself. He knew this would happen, which was partly why he was so opposed to having kids in the first place. He was going to have to get used to sharing her, he supposed. At least until the twins were older.
He had heard that kids hated their parents when they were teenagers. A part of him was actually looking forward to that.
Does that make me a bad father? he wondered.
“You still there?” Shaw said.
“Yeah,” Rade said. “Zoned out for a second.”
“All right,” Shaw said. “I should be going. I plan to take a nap. The twins were particularly exhausting this afternoon. I’m going to have to let Cora take over for a while.”
“Have a good nap.” Rade disconnected and then dismissed the noise canceler.
A few minutes later Tahoe tap
ped in from the Argonaut.
“This isn’t good,” Tahoe said over the comm.
“What is it?”
“I was watching the different heat signatures in the system, as per your instructions,” Tahoe said. “Well, three ships that entered the system after we did just changed course. They’re headed toward the station.”
“What are the stats on these ships?”
“A merchant vessel, Tanker class, no armaments,” Tahoe said. “And two mercenary escorts. Corsair class.”
“How long until they arrive?” Rade asked.
“About a day.”
“Damn it,” Rade said. “We’ve already overstayed our welcome. We transfer the Acceptor to the ship now.”
Rade rushed inside and stowed his weapon in the cupboard. The others did likewise.
“It’s too bad she didn’t leave the little bitch here,” Bender said. “The owl could have fetched her.”
“She’s on her own for the next little while,” Rade agreed. None of the Argonauts could use the alien technology of the Acceptor, of course, otherwise he would have dispatched one of them to warn Surus.
Rade stared at the broad metal disk on the floor. “Okay, how are we going to load this?”
“We’re going to have to slide it off the crate and into the hall first,” TJ said.
“I see that,” Rade said.
“Alert!” Algorithm sent. “The main door is opening. I am detecting two armed Centurions beyond, and three Enforcers. I believe they belong to station security.”
“Algorithm, I want you and Brat back here!” Rade said. “Argonauts, rearm yourselves!”
Rade retrieved his rifle from the rack, shoved two grenades into his harness, and then assumed a defensive position outside the storage compartment. He aimed down the passageway.
On the overhead map, he saw the blue dots of Algorithm and Brat approaching. The two combat robots dashed into view a moment later, coming around the spiraling bend.
“Inside, inside!” Rade said.
The combat robots dashed into the storage unit, and Rade followed them, crowding in next to the others, most of whom stood upon the Acceptor. Using the remote interface, he shut the door.
