She focused on the unpainted face of the dummy, breathed, then went through her first set of motions. Then the next. And the next.
Her body grew warm beneath the practice clothes she wore, her hands and arms moving of their own accord, while her mind moved from one thought to the next: the upcoming war, the festival, the gifts. Damien.
Suddenly, she sensed something was off. Selene paused midswing and looked over her shoulder. The four guards had stopped and were watching her. She lifted her chin and stared back, waiting.
Two glanced away, but the other two stepped forward. “Excuse me, my lady,” one of them said, his head bobbing in embarrassment. “We’ve never had a woman join us in the training room before.”
“Nor have we ever seen a fighting technique like yours,” said the other guard who was still watching her. “Sir Taegis said we might see you. Welcome.”
Her chin dropped, and her mouth would have too if she hadn’t stopped herself in time. She had expected veiled inquiries about her place here. Even with her position as Damien’s wife, she had anticipated uncertainty from others when she came to practice in the training room. Instead, she was greeted with quiet respect, at least by some of them.
She bowed her head toward the men. “Thank you.”
“If you ever need a sparring partner, I would be happy to oblige,” the first guard said.
“If you don’t mind, I’ll be the first one in line to spar with my wife.” There was a note of humor in that tenor voice.
The two guards bowed their heads while the other two spun around and did likewise.
Damien walked toward the other side of the training room and talked with the guards while Selene watched, a very different kind of warmth spreading across her body. Then he turned and smiled at her, raising the temperature inside of her to blazing—hot enough to burn away the coolness from those two guards who still regarded her warily.
“I was hoping I would find you so I could ask you something,” Damien said as he approached. His hair was wet, and his cheeks and the tips of his nose were ruby colored. His eyes were the brightest blue, matching the cloak he still wore over one shoulder. She wondered if he had been out practicing his gift.
“Yes?”
“I have a gift that I want to give you tomorrow.”
“For the Festival of Light?”
“Yes.”
Selene dropped her arms and looked away, her swords at her sides. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything for you. I’d never heard of the Festival of Light until a few days ago and—”
A finger pressed against her lips.
“I do not desire a gift, only your presence. Meet me tomorrow morning outside our bedchambers. All right?”
She nodded.
“In the meantime, I think I’ll do a little sparring myself. Care to join me?”
The corners of her lips twitched as a playful spirit took hold of her. Who cared what the guards thought of her? Only Damien mattered at this moment. “Yes. And I will beat you this time.”
Damien grinned as he unhooked his cloak. “We shall see.”
27
Selene stepped out into the hall to wait for Damien outside their bedroom doors. She smiled as she remembered her duel with him yesterday. It was a long fight, but in the end she made it past his sword and won with her blade just below his chin. But he didn’t seem put out by his loss. Rather, he congratulated her amongst the applause and whistles from two of the guards inside the training room.
Her smile ebbed away. She was slowly finding acceptance here in Northwind Castle, but there were still those who were suspicious of her. The other two guards had watched their sparring with hesitant expressions.
“Did you hear? There are more people in the infirmary. Passed out with no explanation.”
Selene inclined her head to her left, listening to the voices coming from the other direction.
“Did they also have that strange dream? That one with . . . Lady Selene?”
“I don’t know. Have you had it?”
The men’s voices faded down the other hallway.
Selene stared at the wall across from her, stunned. People were in the infirmary? And having dreams about her?
She leaned against the wall for support, her arms across her middle. Were her nightmares affecting those around her? But how? She stayed in her own room and never had contact with anyone during her sleep. It wasn’t possible.
Or was it?
She shook her head as if to shake away the morbid thoughts clinging to her mind like cobwebs. It couldn’t be. But then why were they dreaming about her?
No.
She squeezed her arms as she firmly set her thoughts aside. She would not ponder such things today. This day was for gifts, for celebration, for light. A day with Damien.
She breathed again, the heavy weight lifting from her chest. She dropped her arms and sighed. Damien. Over the last few months he had become a friend and companion. He understood the struggles of being the head of a Great House, he had a quiet strength about him, and he accepted her for who she was, with all the damage and fears she carried.
She loved him.
Wait, what?
Selene shot away from the wall. The truth of her last thought slammed into her, taking her breath away.
She loved Damien. Someway, somehow, her heart had thawed, and he’d found a way inside.
She held a hand against her chest, her pulse racing again.
The door opened beside her, and Damien emerged from his room, wearing a heavy cloak, thick boots, and gloves. “Are you read—Selene, are you all right?”
Adrenaline washed over her, leaving her limbs tingling. “Yes.” She shook her head, drawing on every ounce of strength to bring these wild emotions under control. “I am. I was just thinking . . .”
He lifted an eyebrow. “About what?”
She dropped her hand. “Things. Life.” She wasn’t about to confess her newfound discovery with him. Not yet.
He eyed her again before exiting his room and shutting the door. “All right. Well, are you ready to go?”
Selene adjusted her thick cloak around her shoulders and nodded. “I am.”
“Then follow me.”
Damien nodded to the guards they passed as they walked, and they in turn bowed to him and Selene. At the end of the hall, he opened a door that led to a balcony outside Northwind Castle on the cliff side. A narrow stone path from the balcony wove between boulders ranging from the size of a horse cart to a small house and led toward a small opening in an overhang thirty feet away.
“This way.” Damien glanced back. “And be careful. The path might be slippery.”
She nodded as a sudden blast of frigid wind blew through the doorway. Pulling her hood over her head, she turned her face away from the wind and followed him along the path toward the entrance ahead. The cave opening was carved into the stone and wide enough for two people.
At the entrance, Damien held out his hand to her. Selene took it without a word, and they slipped into the tunnel. The passage led downward, toward a small light at the end, most likely the exit. The sound of rushing waves filled the area. Selene held her hood in place with her other hand and wondered where he was leading her.
At the bottom, the cave opened up. Roaring, frothy waves spilled across the pebbly beach, surging toward the walls, then dragging the lightest stones back to the sea, only to crash into the next set of waves coming in. Gaps along the ceiling let in pale wintry light. Cold sea spray filled the area, leaving Selene thankful for the oiled cloak across her body and her warm boots.
Damien let go of her hand and crossed the gravel to the edge of the waves and stood there with his hands on his hips. As he looked over the waters, his hood flew back and the bottom edge of his cloak rippled in the wind.
Selene watched from the bottom of the passageway. She could feel the power of the sea swirling inside the cavern, and in that moment she felt like one of the small pebbles at her feet. The raging water was va
st, potent, and living—a force to be reckoned with. The ability to harness such power had been given to House Maris by the Light.
Amazing.
Damien looked back at her, then motioned for her to join him. Selene picked her way across the gravel as another wave came crashing in. She came to a stop beside him, clutching her cloak close to her body. The mist froze across her face, leaving her nose chilled.
Damien didn’t seem to notice the spray or the cold. Instead, he gazed out over the water with a satisfied look on his face. “This is where I first learned of my gift. My father brought me here and told me the history of my family. We were given the gift of the waters to protect our people. But it’s more than that; it’s how I worship the Light. What he gave me I give back to him.”
Damien bent his knees and brought his hands up until they were level with his chest. He inhaled deeply, then slowly raised his palms again. This time, the waves moved with the motion of his hands. Instead of crashing along the pebbles, the water rose in a thick sheet.
He kept one hand in the air, brought a leg back, then pushed out with his other hand. The water mimicked his movement. The wall of water moved out toward the wide cave entrance like a wave, only much bigger.
“When I move the water, I feel a connection to the one who gave me this power.” Damien changed his stance and slowly brought the wall of water back. “I feel peace. I lift the days left to me to the Light in service, then I pray for my people. In the same way I move the water, I want the Light to move me, to use me and my power for the benefit of others.”
“But how did you come to know the Light in the first place? How do you know he’s real? And what is he?” Selene gripped the front of her cloak closed to keep out the cold mist.
“My father and my mother taught me. Then I explored the Light myself. I read all I could at the abbey. He gave life to everything that was created, and his very being brings light to everyone. That is why he is known as the Light. No other title is needed.”
“But where is he? Can I see him?”
Damien chuckled and brought his palm down as if he was going to pat the water. “He dwells in light, and he is Light himself. One of the oldest manuscripts says his light is so immense that mortals cannot approach him. Yet he is near to all.”
“You speak in riddles.”
“Perhaps the sun is a better comparison. It is bright and hot in the summer, but cool and dim in the winter. It is the same sun but can be both blistering and a comfort. The Light is both.”
“And you follow this Light? This being? This—this God?”
“I do. It was my decision to make. After my search, and feeling the power I have been given within my own body, I could see no other path I wanted to take. Following the Light does not mean there is no darkness. Rather, it means there is light in the darkness, even if it is only a single flame. I’ve never been alone. The one who made me and gave me my power has always been with me.”
Selene crossed her arms and looked down. “But what if we’ve already lived in the darkness . . . and maybe even brought darkness to others?” Her voice hitched as she thought of Renata. How could the Light accept someone like her, someone who had misused her gift so terribly?
“Does the sun disappear when clouds come?” Damien brought his hand up, palm facing the sea, and pushed out. The water followed. “Or is the sun still there?”
“It’s there, hidden.”
“Just as the clouds cannot quench the sun, the darkness cannot quench the Light. We are not bound to what we’ve done. There is always a choice: to stay in the shadows or to step into the Light.”
“So I can change?”
“Yes. Any time. But the moment you step into the Light, you’ll never be the same. It will permeate your entire life.”
Selene watched the wall of water move toward the front of the cave with the same motion as Damien’s palm. “Is that why your soul is full of light?”
Damien grew silent. He moved his hands up, bringing the water almost to the ceiling of the cavern. “Perhaps. Perhaps it is a reflection of the one I follow.” He shook his head. “I doubt my soul is full of light because of who I am alone.”
She glanced at him sharply. “But you seem so good and always make the right decisions.”
Damien laughed and dropped his hands. The water-wall came crashing down in a mix of waves and foam. He turned toward her. “I don’t always make the right decisions. There are times I doubt and let anger get the best of me.” He lifted one of his hands and looked at his palm. “And I have a hard time letting go of things. Any good you see in me is the Light. The rest is just . . . well . . . it’s just me.”
Selene stared at him. “Well, I like the man I see.”
His eyebrows flew up into his hairline.
She could feel heat spreading across her cheeks, but she gritted her teeth and kept his gaze. She was not embarrassed of what she had said. It was the truth.
His eyes moved back and forth across her face as if confirming her words. Then he stepped toward her and reached out his fingers and lightly touched her cheek. “And I like the woman I see before me.” Then he kissed her.
His lips were cold and wet from the mist and tasted like salt. His hand trailed to her braid, and he pulled her hair over her shoulder, following the braid to the end while his other hand went around her back and pulled her closer.
The kiss was short and quick and took her breath away. When Damien drew back, she wanted to grasp the front of his cloak and pull him toward her again. But he spoke before she had a chance to act on the impulse.
“Thank you for coming here with me today. I wanted my festival gift to you to be memories. This place is special to me, both because of my gift and because of the Light. And since you are also special to me, I wanted to share it with you.”
Selene’s throat grew tight as she gazed into his eyes. “Thank you.” If only she had something to share back.
He smiled, and it was like the sun breaking through the clouds. “Always. Now, we should get back to the castle before we freeze—and before Taegis realizes I’m gone.” He winked at her.
She nodded. He took her hand and started toward the path at the back of the cavern. Behind them, the waves resumed their natural ebb and flow.
Once again she felt like her heart would burst inside of her. It was the same exhilaration she felt the first time she changed into a raven and flew within the dreamscape. Never had she imagined she would end up with a partner like Damien. The best she had hoped for was a man whom she could at least respect. And she got so much more.
They exited the tunnel and walked toward Northwind Castle. Selene turned her mind back toward Damien’s words about the Light. When he was raising the water and speaking of the Light, it was almost as if his very soul had shone through his body, like a flame in a paper lantern. He was beautiful, inside and out.
It was something she longed for as well. She wanted the same thing he carried inside of him. And yet . . .
And yet it was terrifying. His description of the vastness and the glory of the Light had made her heart tremble. How could a person like her enter such a presence, especially when she had misused her gift in such a terrible way? She felt stuck between the darkness of her past and the light of her future.
She furrowed her brow. Was it possible her recurring dream was a manifestation of her vacillation? Was her dreamscape a threshold of sorts? A part of her wanted to find the light, and yet a part of her was afraid to take that next step. And so the light was always out of reach.
Was she stopping herself from finding the light in her dream? If so, what would happen if she actually let go and gave herself over to the Light?
28
As the evening of the Festival of Light approached, the excitement around Northwind Castle and Nor Esen grew. Lights were lit all over the castle and the smell of roasting meats, bread, and spices filled the hallways. Everyone had a smile on their face, even Karl, which caught Selene by surprise as the usually surly
guard greeted her in the hallway with a bow. It changed his features, softening his face, and made him appear younger than usual.
“Good evening, Lady Selene.”
“Karl. Good evening.”
“Lord Damien awaits your presence in the audience hall.”
Selene dipped her head. “Thank you.”
She gathered the thick folds of her burgundy gown and headed down the hallway. The buzz of conversation filled the corridors, interspersed with laughter. Candlelight twinkled everywhere she looked. Garlands made of pine branches and pine cones were draped across mantels, doorways, and banisters.
It was all so different from her life back at Rook Castle. Winter was the darkest month, and not only because of the shorter days. It always felt cold and lonely. And when she started training to be a dreamkiller, her entire being felt like it was encased in ice—frozen, unable to feel, unable to breathe.
Here, there was light and laughter and life, even in the middle of winter. In fact, they celebrated it. Selene smiled. She couldn’t wait to see what else was in store.
At the audience hall, Karl reached forward and opened the door for her. The tall columns with streams of water weaving between the pillars, the walkway that led up to the glass throne with a waterfall on either side, and Damien standing at the head, waiting for her with his hand extended. It was just as it was the day when Damien had publicly announced their marriage, only this time candles were lit all over the hall, their lights flickering on the surface of the water and glass. The sky beyond the throne was almost dark, with a bit of grey streaking across the horizon.
A sense of wonder overtook Selene as she headed for the throne. Damien’s smile grew as she approached, causing her heart to race. His blue eyes matched his regalia, his dark hair brushed back and falling to one side of his face, his entire ensemble proclaiming him to be the lord of a Great House.
“Good evening,” he said as he took her hand. In his usual fashion, he lifted her fingers and brushed his lips across her knuckles. Such a simple gesture, but it sent shock waves across her body. “Welcome to the Festival of Light. As soon as night falls, Baris Abbey will present Nor Esen with their gift. Come, we will watch from the balcony.” He grinned, and his eyes sparkled in the candlelight. “You don’t want to miss this.”
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