After securing the satchel across her body, she checked the sword at her side, then pulled her cloak over her scabbard, hiding the blade. She might be disguised as a pilgrim, but there was no way she was going to travel without a weapon.
Now for the last act that would complete her disguise: she would have to cut her hair. She slipped out a small blade from the side of her satchel, held it in her hand, then began to cut away her dark auburn hair.
Reddish curls fell to the ground with each slash. Deep down, away from where anyone could see, she grieved. Her hair had been a source of pride. Now it littered the earth.
Why did the pilgrims have to cut their hair? As a sign of humility? Submission? Mutilation? Just another thing she didn’t understand about religion.
Once the ends of her hair graced her shoulders, she placed the knife back in her satchel. Her head felt light and her neck naked. She refused to look down. Instead, she moved toward the converging dirt road that would lead her to Lux Casta.
“Is there any message you would like me to take back to Lady Ragna?” Captain Stanton said behind her.
Amara stopped and looked back. There was a smirk on the older man’s face. For a moment she imagined wrapping her hand around the captain’s wrist and entering his dreams. It wouldn’t take much to wipe that sneer off of his face, only a fear or two. She savored the thought, allowing it to burn away the anguish of losing her hair before responding. “No. I will deliver my own message when I arrive back at Rook Castle.”
“So be it. May the Dark Lady be with you on your journey, Lady Amara.”
Amara rolled her eyes and turned around without repeating the farewell. She didn’t believe in the Dark Lady. If the dark one really existed, she had done little to help Amara. She did not believe in the Light either. Or any other being of higher power. If there really were gods, they had little to do with mortals. They did their own thing, and she did hers. Religion was a foolish pursuit.
Without a second glance back, Amara left the tree line and started along the King’s Highway that led through the hills to Lux Casta.
33
Selene stood on the prow of the Ros Marinus. The sea wind whipped through her hair and pulled back her heavy cloak. Pale blue sky covered the waters, and the sea . . . the sea was more magnificent than she had ever imagined. From the sound of the waves hitting the front and sides of the ship, to the occasional misty spray, to the salty scent in the air, it encompassed all of her senses. It was almost enough for her to forget the nightmares of the past few weeks, but not quite.
She took a step back and pulled her cloak around her body as if retreating back into herself. It had taken her a long time to adjust to the fact that she was now head of House Ravenwood. Even now, weeks later, her stomach churned at the thought. Other lords and ladies might desire the ultimate position of a Great House, along with the power that came with it, but she did not. But she couldn’t deny how useful the position was now. The other houses would soon know the truth of House Ravenwood, for better or for worse.
She breathed in the cold, salty wind and closed her eyes. The Dark Lady had not visited her dreams since that night she had drawn Damien into her dreamscape. In fact, she had not dreamed at all. Perhaps the Dark Lady was finally gone, but she doubted that. She had a feeling her subconscious was fighting her body’s natural inclination to dream in order to protect her mind. But the longer she went without dreaming, the more fatigued she became. It was almost as bad as having the recurring nightmares.
And the servant, the one who was in her dream during her last confrontation with the Dark Lady, hadn’t woken up yet.
Selene pressed a hand to her chest.
Damien remained aloof when she questioned him, only stating that he would continue to help her discover her gift. But she could see it in his eyes: his concern over the conflict around her power and the presence of the Dark Lady.
Was she an invisible danger to those around her?
Then I need to keep from dreaming, no matter what. If I don’t dream, I can’t hurt anyone.
A hand wrapped around her waist, startling her. Her heart settled back in her chest as she realized it was Damien behind her.
He leaned in and kissed the base of her neck, then moved his lips toward the bottom of her ear and jaw. She turned and let him pull her in close, kissing him fully on the lips. Everything was forgotten but the feel of his arms around her and the warmth of his face. When they were like this, she could forget everything and just be herself.
“What are you doing?” he asked as he pulled away.
It took a moment for her mind to reengage. “I was thinking.”
“I could tell by the faraway look on your face.” His thumb caressed her jaw. “This is where I like to stand when I’m thinking too. The wide expanse of the sea seems to help my heart and mind open up.”
She placed her head in the crook of his neck. He understood.
“We will soon reach the water barrier.” His voice rumbled through his body. “I thought you might like to watch me take it down.”
Her mind went back to the day when Damien raised the river-wall. If she thought that was impressive, what was the sea-wall like? No matter how much she was learning about the dreamwalking gift, she felt it was nothing compared to Damien’s ability to raise the waters. A small part of her was intimidated by her husband’s gift, and yet she was proud of it at the same time. “Yes, I would like that.”
He rubbed her back with his hand. “In the meantime, would you like to warm up? It’s a bit chilly out here.”
“Yes.” Her fingers and toes were growing numb, despite the fur-lined boots and gloves. They had left before the Northern Shores had completely thawed, in hopes of preparing for the moment the empire breached their lands. The trace of snow and ice were reminders they still had time—but only a little—before war was upon them.
“Let’s go. A cup of tea should help with cold hands and a cold face.” He stepped back and held out his gloved hand. She took it and followed him toward the stairs that led to the main part of the upper deck.
Night was falling when the Ros Marinus reached the water barrier on the western side of the Northern Shores. Selene gasped as she gazed at the towering wall that stretched from the coastline as far as she could see. The sunset shone through the rushing water in a colorful array of oranges and yellows on a deep blue background. The first evening star shimmered high above the wall. The sound of the constant rush of water reminded her of one of the waterfalls back home, only much larger.
“You did this?” she whispered beside Damien. She knew he had, but it still filled her with awe. A terrifying awe.
“Yes.” His answer was sober. His lips were pressed together as he stared ahead, and she wondered if he was remembering that day as well.
“I know what happened,” she said quietly.
He turned and looked at her, his eyebrows raised.
“I saw it in your dreams. You destroyed a convoy of ships. I saw the damage . . . and the sailors.”
He was silent for a moment. “It was not something I enjoyed. I wish there had been another way.”
She glanced down. “I know. After seeing that day, I realized you feared your gift as much as I did mine. It was one of the first times I connected with you. You weren’t just a grand lord—you were a person with fears and regrets, who felt the same way I did. I believe that connection partly led to my change of heart about my mission.”
Damien looked back at the raging wall of water. “Being a leader—a good leader—is difficult. Ever since my parents died, I’ve struggled with being the leader my people need. It has cost me a great deal. Sometimes I wish I could walk away, in the same way you sometimes wish to never dreamwalk again.”
He didn’t know she was already suppressing her gift for the safety of others. But this was not the right time to tell him. He needed reassurance, not an added worry. “Your people need you. And I’m a dreamwalker. That will never change. The Light has given us these gif
ts, right?”
Damien reached over and pulled her hand into his own without looking. “You’re right. Thank you for reminding me.”
Selene gave his fingers a squeeze.
They stood on the prow, hand in hand, as the Ros Marinus approached the water-wall. “Dropping anchor,” the captain yelled. There was a splash, and the ship began to slow. The captain continued to shout orders to the sailors, and out of the corner of her eye, Selene spotted Taegis and Karl come to stand behind them.
The sun sank even lower, sending rays of red through the falling waters. “Will it be hard to lower the wall?”
“Yes. But it will also be a relief. It’s been consuming my strength a little each day to keep this wall in place.”
“Is the one along the Hyr River still up?”
“Yes. I’ve become strong enough to hold two in place, but three would be taxing. Admiral Gerault, the commander of the Northern Shores navy, has a patrol ready to take the place of the wall.”
They were five hundred feet from the wall when the ship finally came to a stop. The water roared as it shot to the sky, then fell back to the surface. Foam and waves gathered at the base. The sun was almost gone, the fading daylight a glimmer inside the water-wall.
“I will need all the room around me, so please step back and wait with the others.” Damien let go of her hand and moved closer to the railing that followed the prow. Selene moved back until she stood beside Taegis and Karl.
With the dying sun in front of him, Damien appeared as a lone shadowy figure against the wall. He took a deep breath, raised his hands, and then twisted his wrists.
A sudden invisible weight seemed to come down on him, and he let out a grunt. Slowly, with his palms up, he began to lower his hands. Beyond him, the water-wall began to move, starting with the area directly across from the ship.
Although he held nothing in his hands, Selene could see the exertion of his power as sweat began to form along Damien’s temples and his arms began to shake. However, he never lost control of the wall. Slowly, bit by bit, the water-wall lowered toward the sea’s surface until the last of the foam and waves disappeared. The sun sank beyond the horizon. Damien wavered for a moment, then fell to the deck.
“Damien!” Selene and Taegis rushed to his side. She fell to her knees, unsure of what to do. “Damien?” She could barely see his face in the dim light. His eyes fluttered, then rolled up into his head.
Taegis knelt down on the other side, a concerned look on his face. “I wondered if taking the wall down would drain him.” He checked Damien’s pulse, then paused with his hand over Damien’s mouth.
Captain Stout approached, holding an oil lamp. In the lamplight, Damien appeared pale. The sight squeezed at Selene’s heart.
“Is Lord Damien all right?” the captain asked.
“Yes,” Taegis said.
Selene looked up at him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. His heart is beating, and he still draws breath. He’s spent. Lowering the water-wall took more out of him than any of us were expecting. Even me.”
“So that’s all? He’s just exhausted?”
“More or less. Let’s move him to your cabin.” Taegis waved to Karl. “Help me move his lordship.”
Karl was already there, at the ready. “Yes, sir.”
Selene stood and moved away as Taegis and Karl worked together to lift Damien, then started across the deck. The captain and Selene followed. They made their way inside the ship, along the narrow corridor, before reaching the cabin where they were staying.
Taegis opened the door, then headed in.
The room was small, with a double bed nailed to the floor, built-in shelves, a single lamp that hung on one side, and a port window on the other. With Damien, Taegis, and Karl, there was hardly space for anyone else. Selene waited outside the doorway, her chest and throat tight as they lowered Damien onto the bed. The rational part of her knew Taegis was probably right that Damien had overexerted himself. But that didn’t stop her stomach from churning with worry.
Karl lit the hanging lamp nearby while Taegis checked on him once more before turning back toward the door.
Captain Stout stepped beside Selene. “We don’t have a healer on board. Do we need to stop at Lucent?”
Taegis shook his head. “No. He simply needs rest. His father, Lord Remfrey, also passed out a time or two after using his gift.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Captain Stout mumbled.
Selene agreed. Sometimes she felt shaken after dreamwalking, but she was never so fatigued that she passed out. It reinforced her opinion that Damien’s gift was the greater one.
Taegis looked at her. “My lady, I would feel better if I could stay with his lordship for a while. I still believe this is caused by fatigue, but I want to stay with him, just in case.”
“Of course.”
He bowed his head. “Thank you. I will stay with Lord Damien until the evening watch, unless something changes.”
Selene nodded. There wasn’t enough room for both of them in the small cabin, and even though she was concerned about Damien, she would let Taegis take the first watch. “Thank you, Taegis. In the meantime, I will be on the deck.”
Taegis bowed his head. “Karl, help me make his lordship more comfortable.” He began to remove Damien’s boots while Karl undid Damien’s cloak.
Selene left the cabin and closed the door behind her. She ate very little dinner in the galley, then wandered along the top deck, watching the moon rise and stars come out over the water.
Why did the Light give them these gifts? Gifts powerful enough to knock a person out or steal someone’s life? She ran her fingers along the railing as a cold wind blew across her face. Damien would say their gifts were given so they could help people. But to wield such power almost cost too much. More pain seemed to come from these gifts than good.
Would it have been better if the Light had left humankind alone?
Selene sighed. So many questions, so many burdens.
What she longed for was freedom and peace.
An image of Damien’s soul entered her mind. She hadn’t visited Damien’s dreamscape in months. An intense longing filled her being to see his light again, a light so powerful it took her breath away. Just a glimpse of that brilliant, peaceful place.
Selene shook her head.
The Dark Lady was hunting her now. And it didn’t feel right to enter Damien’s dreamscape without his knowledge. That was his place. Perhaps the deepest part of him that was connected to the Light.
Selene watched the moonlight flicker across the waves. If she chose to follow the Light, would her soul look the same? Would her dreamscape become a place of peace and light?
Or was she too far gone, despite what Damien had said?
Could a person like her ever step into the light?
34
Damien still looked pale days after he had lowered the water-wall. Selene cast another sidelong glance his way as she stood by the rail and watched the waves. His mannerisms were the same: he would smile and speak with the sailors, exercise with Taegis or herself, and practice his gift early in the morning at the back of the ship, but Selene could tell something had changed. He ate less than he did back at Northwind Castle, and there was a hint of forcefulness behind his smiles, a small difference that hardly anyone seemed to notice. But she saw it. And when he came to bed, he barely said a word before he rolled on his side and went to sleep.
Yes, something was definitely different.
Selene sighed, leaned over the railing, and watched the blue water ripple along the side of the ship. Perhaps she should have entered his dreams afterward and made sure his old memories didn’t haunt him.
No. She gripped the railing. She would not dreamwalk again. Not if she could help it. The cost was too high, and too many people were involved. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me, because of my gift.
Selene squeezed her eyes shut. She remembered the way Damien spoke to the
Light when he raised the water, and when he went down on one knee in her dream. She hesitated, then whispered, “I don’t know if I can pray to you, or if you even hear me. But I ask for you to watch over Renata if she is still alive. And that woman at the castle. Perhaps even heal them. And watch over my sisters as well.”
She slowly opened her eyes. If the power of the Light could drive back the Dark Lady from her dreams, then he could protect her loved ones, right? She wasn’t worthy of asking for anything on her behalf. But perhaps the Light would listen if she interceded for others.
Footsteps alerted her that someone was approaching.
“We should reach the port of Lux Casta by noon,” Damien said as he came to stand beside her.
Selene drew back into the real world. “Did you visit Lux Casta often?”
“Yes. House Maris and House Luceras have been close for years, partly because of our borders, partly because of the sea, and partly because both of our houses follow the Old Ways.”
“You mean the Light.”
“Yes.”
“What is Lux Casta like? And House Luceras?”
Damien smiled—genuinely smiled—for the first time in days as he leaned across the railing and looked out over the sea. “You will never meet a place more devoted to the Light anywhere this side of the continent. Pilgrims come from all lands and nations to visit the Temple of Splendor and pay homage to the Light.”
Selene swallowed uncomfortably. “Hmm.” She remembered her mother’s words that even House Luceras had employed House Ravenwood’s unique abilities on occasion without knowing it was House Ravenwood they were working with. Perhaps Damien only knew of the bright side of House Luceras. In any case, she wasn’t going to tell him what she knew, at least not at this moment.
“And the city itself is beautiful,” he continued. “It’s set amongst the rolling green hills of Serine. When you come into port, the sun shines on the city, causing it to look like gold.”
Flight of the Raven Page 26
