by Jess Dee
“I don’t expect you’ll forgive me. What I did was reprehensible.” He sighed heavily. “If it helps, I have to live with my bad judgment for the rest of my life.”
“Ah, yeah, that helps. A ton.” She held her arms out at her sides. “See, I’m all cured now. All better. Suddenly my life and my future being ripped apart doesn’t seem at all upsetting.”
It was just a damn pity she hadn’t met Andrew before Declan. She strongly suspected that if she had, Declan would never have held any appeal to her. Andrew would have monopolized her every thought.
Her heart did a funny little dance in her chest.
Andrew, sweet, kind, beautiful Andrew, with the sexiest ass in the Hunter Valley.
He and Declan were worlds apart. Not only in personality, but in looks too. Andrew was taller than Declan, leaner. His hair brown, wavy and shorter than Declan’s tawny blond mane. Andrew’s lips were full and soft. They’d made it difficult for her to pull away once she’d started kissing him.
She’d never mistake Andrew’s mouth for Declan’s thinner, wider one, but then she didn’t want to mistake them. She longed to kiss Andrew, while the thought of kissing Declan now made her want to throw up. So did the idea of ever making love to him again. In the past, Declan had never had trouble bringing Tori’s body to life. He was both skilled and passionate in bed. But she’d never responded to him as feverishly and rabidly as she had to Andrew last night.
Even now, with her ex-fiancé sitting meters away from her, she ached for Andrew, not Declan.
Logically, Tori knew this was a defense mechanism, her body’s way of throwing up barriers against the man she’d intended to love for the rest of her life. If she told herself there was someone she wanted more than Declan, Declan wouldn’t have the power to hurt her any more than he already had.
“I need you to understand something, Victoria.” Her ex-fiancé pushed off his seat and walked over to stand before her. “This isn’t about you. It didn’t happen because I looked at you and found something lacking. I think…” He nodded. “You’re perfect. Not just physically, but perfect inside too. You’ll make a wonderful wife, and an even better mother. And I wish…so much that I was the one who could complete your perfect family. I tried to make it happen.” He dropped his head, as though he couldn’t bear to let her look into his eyes when he spoke.
“In the end, I’m not that man. I can never be him. I don’t think like you or share your ideals. I don’t want what you want. My—” He cleared his voice. “My deepest desires would shock you. They’d tear you apart and make you hate me. If we went ahead with this marriage, I’d end up destroying us both. And you don’t deserve that…”
Tori gaped at him. He’d whispered the last sentence. And left it unfinished. She couldn’t help but think if he had said anything more it would have been, You don’t deserve that…but I do.
It struck her then that perhaps she didn’t know Declan as well as she thought she did. She had no idea what these deepest desires of his were and no idea how they’d shock her. He’d never mentioned them before now. But she did know that his hidden truths couldn’t hurt her any worse than his actions already had.
The future she’d planned for the last six months was gone forever.
Just like that, exhaustion got the better of Tori. It drained her of the energy she’d somehow conjured to face this confrontation. Now she wanted him gone—from her room and her life. The suite that had seemed so enormous, so airy and spacious mere minutes ago, closed in on her, expelling all of its oxygen.
On some level she knew she should respond to his confession, maybe even ask about his darkest desires. But truthfully? She didn’t want to know. She wanted to be free of the band that had tightened around her lungs the minute Declan had stepped in to the room.
“I think it’s time you left, Declan.”
He raised his head slowly, looked at her for a long minute and finally nodded. “If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
“Okay.” He ran his hand over his face. “I… I’ll take care of the wedding arrangements. And let the hotel and the celebrant know. The guests too.”
“Good.” That would save her from the awkwardness of the task. This way she wouldn’t have to say anything—unless someone asked—and she wouldn’t have to face too many pitying looks. She’d leave it all to Declan. Except for her family of course. “I’ll speak to my parents. And to Neen.”
“I thought you’d want to.”
“And Vi.”
“Of course.”
“The rest of our guests are all your responsibility.”
Declan stood there, looking as though he wanted to say something else.
“Goodbye, Declan.”
He tried to take her hand, but she pulled her arms out of reach, telling him in no uncertain terms his right to touch her had expired. He gave her a sad nod of acknowledgement. “I fucking hate this. Hate what I’ve done to you. I know it doesn’t mean much, Tori, but I really am sorry.”
She bowed her head once in acceptance, but wasn’t up to saying anything more. Instead she looked at the door, keeping her gaze fixed on it, until he sighed heavily and finally, thankfully left.
It was only when it shut behind him that she let the violent shudders she’d suppressed overwhelm her. Unable to do anything else, she staggered to the bed, collapsed onto it and spent a very long time working on breathing normally again. She fell asleep before she found a natural rhythm.
Chapter Seven
Fresh country air and a bit of exercise did Andrew a world of good. He felt invigorated, regenerated and alive for the first time in a very, very long while. He’d slept better out here in the Hunter than he’d slept in the last nine months.
And perhaps, just perhaps, a certain woman whose soon-to-be-wedding had come to a tragic end had something to do with that.
He spent the day touring the valley on his bike. He’d donned his gear and set out late morning to explore the area. Wine tasting hadn’t been foremost on his agenda. He’d had his fair share in the early hours of the morning, when he and Tori had polished off the bottle of red he’d given her, passing the single glass back and forth as they’d spoken about anything and everything.
It was Tori’s exhaustion that had motivated him to return to the hotel, to see her to her room and leave her there. Had she invited him in, he wouldn’t have hesitated to join her.
But she hadn’t, and Andrew hadn’t been surprised. Their midnight encounter had been nothing more than a means of escape for her. A few hours out of the nightmare her wedding had become. She’d given what she could and no more. Under the circumstances, he couldn’t have expected more. Everything she’d presented him with had been an unexpected gift. Ones he’d cherish for a very long time to come.
The familiar burn of stiffening muscles stopped Andrew in his tracks. He bent over, stretching his legs and back to the max.
Ah, better.
He’d ridden over a hundred kilometers today, breaking his journey three times. The first stop had been the stunning Hunter Valley Gardens, where he’d spent a good couple of hours walking around, enjoying the different displays and being utterly charmed by the Storybook Gardens and its numerous fairytale characters.
Next stop was a quick sushi lunch at the Tempus Two estate, and later in the afternoon he’d stumbled across a vineyard offering a candy-making course. On impulse, he’d booked himself in for the next day.
It was something so out of the box, he hadn’t been able to resist.
Late afternoon and evening were spent in the company of James Patterson. Andrew had taken full advantage of Blake’s offer to buy books on his Amazon account and had downloaded several murder mysteries.
Then he’d taken the liberty of downloading a few books for Blake too—a kind of thank-you gift for confiscating his phone. Blake was strictly a pseudo-intellectual type when it came to books. He only read literary classics.
So it had been with a sense of great satisfact
ion that Andrew had downloaded the bestselling trilogy. The Fifty Shades Of Grey series that currently sat unopened on his Kindle should set Blake right in no time. Andrew’s only regret was that he wouldn’t get to see the horror on Blake’s face when he discovered them.
As he took the two steps up to the now-familiar gazebo, Andrew released his breath in a rush. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding it.
Tori was there.
And like him, she was early. Midnight was a good half an hour away.
“You came.” He couldn’t stop the rush of pleasure that hit him.
“I did.”
“I wasn’t sure you would.” He’d convinced himself she wouldn’t.
“I…I wasn’t going to. But then I couldn’t resist. Didn’t want to resist, actually.”
A goofy smile spread across his face. She’d wanted to see him again. “How did the day go?”
“On a scale of one to ten?” She bobbed her head from side to side, as though considering her answer. “I’d give it about a zero.”
“That bad?”
“That bad. Andrew?”
“Yeah, Victoria?”
“Could you do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“Could you please just hold me?”
He set the bottle of wine and glasses on the bench and held his arms open. “C’mon over here, sweetheart.” And there it was again, that foreign ache in his chest he only felt when Tori was near.
She melted into his arms. One minute she was out of reach, the next her body was pressed to his, her arms wrapped around his neck.
He held her close. God, so close. Her every curve molded to his length, her feminine softness a welcome delight against his stiff muscles.
For long moments neither of them moved. They stood where they were, Andrew content to hold her like this forever. Her head fit perfectly against his shoulder, and she buried her face in it, her warm breath heating the flesh beneath his shirt.
Cinnamon and spice filled his nose, and he just stood there, breathing her in.
“He’s gone,” she said at length.
“Declan?”
She nodded. “He left this afternoon.”
“You doing okay?”
“I’ve been better. But it’s easier knowing he’s not nearby. I feel like I can breathe again.”
“Are you going to go home too?” He hated asking. Never wanted her to go home, but if Andrew had found himself in a similar circumstance, he’d have headed straight to his house. Thrown himself on his couch or his bed and stayed there for days, with Bruiser his only company.
“No. I’m not ready to face the house that he was supposed to live in with me. Or confront the future we were supposed to share. I know I have to, and I will. On Monday. But I’ll use the next few days to fall apart here.”
He pressed a gentle kiss to her head. “Fall as hard as you need to. I’ll catch you.”
Tori raised her head from his chest, her gaze snaring his. With just that look, something changed between them. Like the switching of gears in his body, Andrew felt his cock twitch.
“You’ve already caught me. Last night and tonight.” She kissed his chin, a teasing brush of her lips against his lower jaw. “That’s twice now.”
Electricity crackled where her mouth touched. Awareness slammed into Andrew, and by the sound of her whimper, he wasn’t the only one. Tori gripped his shirt, pulling it tight around his shoulders, and blood filled his cock at an alarming rate.
Tori’s sharp intake of breath was audible.
The air around them snapped and popped with energy.
She kissed his cheek, another sensuous brush of mouth against skin.
“Ando…” Her voice was a husky murmur.
The whisper was all the incentive he needed. Andrew claimed her mouth with his. Her lips opened instantly, and their tongues tangled together in a wanton dance.
Fuck, she tasted good. Intoxicating.
Tori pushed her breasts into his chest and her hips against his, so his erection nestled against her belly. He kissed her until they were both breathless and panting. She clawed at his shirt and jeans, yanking at the button, pulling on the zip.
Holy shit, his body was on fire, sparking wherever she touched.
“Tell me you have a condom tonight.” She freed his erection from its constrictive prison.
Andrew muttered a silent thanks for his foresight. In his heart of hearts, he hadn’t expected her to meet him, but he’d come prepared—just in case.
“Back right pocket,” he instructed, his own hands too busy to get the package himself. His palms were on her thighs, her shapely, silken thighs, traveling upward beneath the dress she wore, over her hips, until his thumbs tangled in the elastic waist of her knickers. He tugged on them, pushing them past those rounded hips and down her legs.
He waited only long enough for her to dip her hand in his pocket before dropping to the floor and lifting first one of her feet and then the other, so she could kick her knickers off. As soon as they were free, he pocketed them.
Andrew would have buried his face between her legs, but she tugged at his shoulders, pulling him up.
“Don’t want niceties tonight. Or kisses and the seduction.” She yanked his jeans over his hips to his knees and shoved his boxers down next. “No need for you to tease and tantalize.” Her hot hands were all over his dick. Holding. Fondling. Rolling the condom over his shaft.
Already his balls were hard as stone, his dick pulsing.
“I just need you to fuck me.” She placed both hands on his shoulders and shoved him backwards.
Andrew let her, knowing the bench would break his fall. He landed on his ass, sitting upright, and Tori wasted no time straddling him.
But as she knelt above him, her hot pussy mere inches from his straining erection, she paused. “Wait. I need to be sure this is okay with you. Sex for the sake of sex. I can’t offer you anything more right now. I…I just don’t have it in me.”
He had to grit his teeth to keep from moving. “That depends.” A bead of sweat rolled down his spine. “Is this what you want?”
Tori rolled her hips, sliding her cunt over his rigid length. Her juices soaked the base of his cock and his balls, and Andrew had to grip the edge of the bench to stop from surging upward, thrusting inside her.
“Right now? This is the only thing I want. And you, Ando, are the only man I want.”
Jesus, she was killing him. With the way his blood pounded in his ears, he was certain he was headed past the outer limits of stroke and all the way to instant death. “Then I’m okay with it.” As if any man in his right mind wouldn’t be.
“Y-you’re sure?”
She looked so vulnerable, Andrew pressed a reassuring hand to her cheek. “Very sure.”
A hint of a smile ghosted over her lips, and she rocked against him again.
Birds tweeted in his ears.
“Fuck, woman, you’ve got me busting a nut here.”
She lowered herself so the lips of her cunt rested on the tip of his cock, and with one stunning twist of her hips, she enveloped him.
Andrew almost blacked out from pleasure. God, she was tight. And hot. And wet. The moan she emitted sent flaming stabs of pain straight through his balls. She felt amazing. Wickedly sinful all wrapped around his dick like this.
And when she lifted up, then drove her pussy down on him again, Andrew was lost. He grabbed her waist and thrust even deeper.
Tori cried out, and the race was on, a desperate sprint to the finish line. Yeah, he was holding her, directing her movements, angling her pussy for maximum penetration, but she was in control, setting the pace, pulling up and slamming back down on him.
It happened too fast for Andrew to savor the encounter. But then who had time for savoring when every last nerve bundle had collected in his dick? Apart from the softness of her skin, the only thing Andrew could feel was the rhythmic slide of her slick pussy around his pounding erection.
His
entire life was focused between his legs and hers.
He wanted to watch, tried to see his dick disappearing into her cunt over and over again, but Tori’s skirt had spread out over her thighs, obscuring any view he might have had.
And then he stopped thinking about watching and gave himself over to feeling.
The sensations of her pussy sliding along his length, the curve of her slim waist beneath his palms and temptation of her breasts bumping against his mouth with every one of her downward thrusts blew his mind. He didn’t try kiss or lick those breasts. Wouldn’t have had the time to latch on to one. He just enjoyed the sensation as they rasped over his lips, her nipples hardened into tight beads beneath her dress.
Tori’s breathing changed, growing faster. She began to pant. Her movements were sharper now, more focused.
“Gonna come,” she puffed. “Al…almost there.”
Andrew gave up all pretense of holding back. As hard as she bounced on him, so he drove into her, burying himself so deep he almost lost control.
Tori cried out and jerked. Her pussy contracted, a glove so tight he almost couldn’t move. But he did, pushing through her contractions, burying himself deeper, then deeper still as she came all over him.
One more thrust and his own orgasm descended, blinding in its force. He shuddered through his release, emptying himself with spasm upon spasm.
When he finally came down from his high, when he could open his eyes long enough to focus, it was to find Tori had shoved her skirt out of her way. Her hand was between her legs, moving, and Andrew realized she was stroking her clit, bringing herself to a second fierce orgasm.
When it hit, Tori wasn’t the only one to cry out. The second round of contractions around his softening, spent dick was pure torture. Heaven and hell. He almost couldn’t bear it. Almost. But the sight of Tori coming on top of him gave him the strength to endure anything. Even the sweetest agony he’d ever encountered.
Chapter Eight
A very long time later, Andrew finally gave in to his discomfort. The bench had been just fine for supporting his and Tori’s fiery passion. But in this position, lying flat on his back, with Tori sprawled out above him, his bones were starting to complain. He’d drifted off for a while, but the spasm in his spine wrenched him from sleep.
