Abandoned Hearts (The Ozark Durham Series)

by Regina Tittel

  The name sounded familiar but Ann couldn’t place them right off. “If we do call, where do I tell him I’m at? I don’t even know your last name.”

  “It’s Durham, Jacob Durham. I guess we left out the formalities earlier. Luke’s my dad, and I think my kids made themselves known.” As he spoke, his eyes sparkled at the mention of his family. Oh, to have a man that appreciates his family. Though she had a quiver of doubt about him earlier, it wasn’t strong enough to override the attraction that now pulled at her.

  “So you’re all alone.” His last statement settled like a brick. She was alone and had been for longer than she ever imagined. Unable to meet his eyes she silently nodded her head in agreement as she pictured the empty farmhouse that awaited her. When her stay there was over, she didn’t even have an apartment to go home to.

  Surely it was a gesture of sympathy that caused him to take her hand. But when Jacob gave it a gentle squeeze, it immediately brought her back to the present. His touch was warm and comforting. Her eyes lifted to his and her stomach flipped.

  His voice again took on a deeper, more caring tone. “How’s your knee doing?”

  “It’s fine.”

  He released her hand. “Why do you keep doing that?” Jacob sat back in the chair and waited for an explanation.

  She slid her hands to her lap. “Doing what?”

  “Diverting from the truth. Is it a habit with you?” He leaned forward. “Because if it is, you really should know, those mysterious eyes of yours give you away. In fact, I’d say they’re down right treasonous.”

  Ann laughed and shook her head. “Okay, my knee feels foreign to the rest of my leg. Like a softball paired with a golf club.”

  Jacob smiled at her remark. “At least you still have a sense of humor.” He tilted his head to the side and stared at her. Before the lengthened silence became uncomfortable, he added, “You’re very pleasant to be around, Annie.”

  Her breath hitched. Annie? No one ever referred to her like that, yet she didn’t mind. When it rolled from his tongue, it sounded endearing. Wait a minute. Endearing? I better slow down.

  Jacob’s eyes pooled with desire and Ann knew she needed to put some distance between them. She drew back her legs and to her surprise, Jacob stood and beheld her unashamedly. His eyes trailed her entire body, pausing at intervals. He pulled her in front of him. Her hands were placed on his chest and covered with his own.

  “What exactly are your intentions, Mr. Durham?” Her eyes flashed with warning.

  His mouth gave way to a hint of a smile. “I think you already have a good idea. But in case you’re unsure, let me clear it up for you.” His eyes searched hers before falling to her lips. “I intend to kiss you.”

  His plain and honest statement surprised her and sent her pulse racing.

  He returned his gaze to hers. “And to you, I’m Jacob.”

  As he bent his head toward hers, Ann strained against his hold and stammered. “Wh- where’s Mrs. Durham?”

  Jacob momentarily closed his eyes and sighed. “After her so-called nervous breakdown, she left us. Two years ago.” Her stolen glance at his ring finger caused him to add, “Then she filed for divorce.” His voice sounded flat, as though that chapter of his life had been accepted and the memory, now, a nuisance.

  She looked up at him and glimpsed a hidden pain not unlike her own. “I’m sorry.”

  “Hmmm.” As though to give thought to his words, Jacob responded, “At the moment, I’m not.” He reached out his hand to brush back a tendril of hair from her cheek.

  Her eyes weren’t the only thing treasonous; her heart thudded in her chest. She shouldn’t want this. “Your children…” her voice trailed.

  “Are asleep,” Jacob finished for her as he dropped his hand to her lower back, and pulled her close again.

  Her freed hand rested against his bicep. The large, firm bulge of his muscle enticed her. Fighting between what was right and the yearning of her own body, her ability to reason was momentarily stolen as Jacob’s mouth closed over hers in a tender kiss. He slowly caressed her lips as though to capture her sweet innocence. His firm mouth became amazingly soft as he took his time exploring the contours of hers.

  Her body trembled and Jacob responded by deepening the kiss. His tenderness soon gave way to excitement as he wrapped her closely in his arms. Ann tried to fight against her own reaction, but was too thrilled by the pleasure.

  He’s a stranger. He’s offensive. I don’t even know… She gave up. To feel this way in someone’s arms was something she’d only dreamed about, and nearly given up on.

  Time was lost, as was the passing storm. Thoughts of right and wrong, integrity and honor passed through her mind with barely a flicker of thought.

  Jacob continued his hold on her. His warm hand trailed along her spine until Ann gave in. She dissolved all restraint and molded her body to his.

  A soft moan of pleasure escaped his lips. Although she felt the same, her growing conviction could no longer be ignored. She struggled against the strong will of desire and drew back as far as he’d allow.

  A shuddered breath escaped her. Jacob traced her swollen lips with his thumb seeming to take pride in her breathless emergence. His hand brushed along her jaw to her hair, entwining his fingers in her silken locks.

  Ann closed her eyes in hopes to shut out her conscience and allow herself the pleasures Jacob offered. Would it be so wrong? Couldn’t she ask forgiveness later? Knowing all too well the right answers, Ann concentrated on scripture she recently read. “Flee fornication, every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” She opened her eyes and risked losing her confidence at his raw intensity. She had to step away now, knowing that if allowed to escalate, this man wouldn’t be able to control himself, and perhaps, she wouldn’t want him to.

  “Good night, Jacob,” she whispered. Now the problem she faced was getting past him to her room. As though in a stare down, they stood facing one another with only the distant rumble of the storm to break the silence.

  Jacob’s jaw flexed, followed by a deep sigh that sounded more like a low growl. He stepped aside as Ann passed to her room.

  She closed the door and sat down on the bed with her tucked her knees under her chin. Jacob’s touch made her come alive. It was like she’d finally awakened from a deep slumber. How could something like this happen, especially when she was emotionally recovering from being attacked? Was this love or simply an unbelievably, powerful attraction? She wondered what would’ve happened if she hadn’t stepped away. She’d never been tempted to that extent before. The risks that accompanied such lustful acts were never worth it. Especially, the shame she’d feel before God.

  She hung her head. Though, her last employer didn’t get to accomplish his sinful act, the shame she carried from being a victim was enough. Her stomach tightened just from the thought.

  Why didn’t she feel that expected fear with Jacob? Past experiences aside, this man was different. She couldn’t explain it, but she could sense it, Jacob’s demeanor compelled trust. Ann inhaled deeply and relaxed hoping against all odds this was God’s will, because never had anyone stirred such feelings inside her.

  God, please forgive me for the way I acted. And please help me to have more self-control.

  As her thoughts drifted into prayers, Ann rested her head on the pillow and fell into a deep and peaceful sleep until morning.

  Chapter Seven

  Although a peaceful contentment had settled over the Durham home, hunger created a restless atmosphere outside. The storm passed and left a soft glow of the approaching dawn, which allowed enough light to beckon a hungry doe into the lush pasture. She was high above the creek, just outside the fog’s concealment and unaware of her impending danger.

  With deliberate furtiveness, the seasoned cougar silently settled its paw before it crouched inches above the ground. Round yellow eyes fixed themselves on the large deer, soon to be its pre
y.

  The doe was no more than fifteen yards away and grazed directly toward the giant cat. The cougar waited. Its tail swished back and forth as the deer edged closer. With muscles tensed, belly and tail dragging the ground, he narrowed the gap. Seven days had passed since he’d killed the calf. Armed with the motivation of hunger, the cougar now turned to larger game.

  The doe lifted her head and flicked her ears. She searched for signs of menace and sniffed the air. The wind came from behind, which meant she would never detect the predator that lay in wait. Satisfied of her presumed safety, the lone deer lowered her neck and continued to graze.

  Guided by natural instinct, the cougar silently ran toward her and leaped into the air. The frightened doe spun to the side and dug her hooves into the soggy ground, as she desperately tried to out-maneuver the great cat.

  He landed on her back and clung with razor-sharp claws. Eyes wide with fear, the doe had little time to panic. The cougar clamped his powerful jaws over her vertebral disk and broke her spinal cord in two.

  Her quick death, an attribute to his experienced hunting.

  ***

  Jacob got up earlier than usual. He found it useless to lie awake when he could be working. The coffee from last night still sat on the table. He reached for his cup but his eyes lingered on the one last used by Ann. The corners of his mouth tilted upward as he remembered how her body trembled in his arms, how good it felt to hold her. The emotions of indecision had played across her face. He hadn’t wanted her to leave, but knew his intentions were wrong. Reluctantly, he’d stepped aside and watched her make her way to the kids’ room. His heart swelled to new proportions as his respect for Ann increased.

  Along with that, his spirit had begun a battle with his flesh and beckoned him to kneel and ask God for help. How good it would feel to have that spiritual relationship back. He’d absorbed the thought before pride returned. He justified his stubbornness because of past hurts and shook off all intentions of prayer. Still a piece of scripture sprang to remembrance, “… pride goeth before a fall.”

  Again, he cast the thought aside as he walked to the bathroom where he’d laid out clothes so as not to wake his children. Unable to resist the few more steps to Ann’s door, he rested a hand on the wooden frame and listened for any sound. Assured she was asleep, and a little disappointed, he opted to forego his shower until after his morning chores, in hopes the lengthened quiet would allow her more rest.

  At the door, he slipped on his boots with as little noise as possible and reached for his coat, but instead knocked Ann’s to the floor. He stooped to pick it up and noticed its tattered shape. The zipper was stuck in the middle and several teeth were missing. He furrowed his brow. Her hiking boots, he’d noticed last night, were new. He shrugged. How was he supposed to understand women’s shopping habits? If she didn’t see the need in a new coat, he knew better than to advise her. Though, if she stuck around long enough, he’d have to find her a temporary replacement.

  A light mist wet the early morning. The view of the fields hid behind a blanket of low lying fog giving a mysterious presence. Everything was still, as if the whole world slept. The cattle were still bedded down, and even the rooster sat quiet on his perch.

  Jacob walked toward the barn, his footsteps muffled by the rain-soaked ground. The path he took was partially finished in slabs of limestone collected from the creek. It had been his and Ethan’s fall project and they were both eager to see it finished this summer.

  Bordering the path were flower bulbs Emily had chosen and helped plant. Similar to those beside the house, they would come in fuller this spring bringing with them a breath of color. Everything they did to add a feel of happiness would also lead to more security.

  Slowly, their broken home would heal.

  Trigger emitted a soft nicker as Jacob entered the barn. He raised his head to acknowledge his master then resumed his sleep. Jacob looked at the neatly arranged tack and dusted off the extra saddle. He’d bought it a year earlier. Though it was unusually large, even too big for him, it had proven its use. His children often took turns and rode with him, and because of that, had learned to handle Trigger with ease. Today would be like any other after a big rain, only Ann would have a turn as well.

  Ann. Ever since he first laid eyes on her, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. And last night…Never had he done anything so rash and unexpected. Not to mention, nearly uncontrolled. If she hadn’t pulled back, would he have?

  He considered her sleeping in the house with his children. Was she a late sleeper? He hoped not, because his kids definitely weren’t. Hearing his dad talk to Candy, Jacob stuck his head out of the barn and exchanged morning waves before Luke entered the house.

  Although he often helped out at this early hour, today Luke would also chip in at lunch time. Jacob didn’t think Ann possessed a harmful bone in her body, but he still thought it wrong to leave his kids with a stranger, thus prompting him to call on his dad’s good nature. Luke seemed happy to oblige his request, almost too willing. Jacob couldn’t help but to be suspicious of his dad’s motives.

  ***

  Ann heard the creak of the front door and sat up in bed. It still looked dark outside but the clock read 5:30 a.m., stating it was morning regardless. As she stretched, her body cried out in complaint for more rest, something she would love to do if only she could. But now that she was awake, curiosity wouldn’t let her doze off.

  Ann hoped Jacob wouldn’t mind if she took a quick shower. She straightened the covers on the bed and changed into her clothes before entering the bathroom. A faded, pink towel and matched washcloth sat on the side of the basin. On top of the cloth lay a plastic sandwich bag, a roll of packaging tape with a pair of small scissors, and a note. Curious, she picked it up. “Keep your cut dry.” It wasn’t signed, but Ann’s heart still warmed to the thoughtfulness of its author.

  In an effort to make sense of her feelings, she mentally replayed the events of last night. Yes, Jacob was belligerent, rude and headstrong, but something drew her to him. Perhaps it was his social flaws that made his simple acts of kindness that much more meaningful, though it wasn’t exactly his kind acts that really moved her. A wry smile stared back at her in the mirror.

  Last night had been powerful and it wasn’t just the storm. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d wanted to be held by a man like that. More often than not, she pushed men away rather than dream of them. Unable to grasp the sense of it all, she bowed her head and asked God for wisdom and direction. Ann knew if there was any hope of reasonable thinking, it would have to come from above.

  The smell of sausage greeted her as she exited the bathroom. Did Jacob make breakfast? She stepped into the kitchen, curiosity mingled with hunger. Luke stood at the stove with a towel draped over his shoulder flipping pancakes like a pro. A layer of sausage rested on a paper towel covered plate.

  “Good Morning, Sunshine.” Luke winked. “Hope you have an appetite this time.”

  He must have noticed her full dinner plate in the refrigerator. She wouldn’t let him down again. “I sure do.”

  At the unfamiliar sound of her voice, Candy vacated her spot by the stove and hurried to welcome this new stranger. The dog’s short little legs moved quickly as she made her way to Ann. A cream colored coat exaggerated the size and intensity of her big brown eyes. Ann was drawn to her immediately. Dogs softened her heart almost as much as children. She knelt down and extended her hand for Candy to sniff.

  Luke smiled as Candy bypassed Ann’s hand and gave her kisses on the cheek. “I always said that dog was a good judge of character.”

  Satisfied with the newcomer, Candy took her place at Ann’s feet as she set down at the table. Ann finished the last of the mound of pancakes Luke had given her when Jacob entered.

  “Morning, Dad.” He turned his attention to where she sat. “Annie.”

  With his face unshaven and his hair mussed, he boasted an attractive ruggedness. Jacob was definitely one handsome far
mer, but something seemed different. His eyes were vacant of any emotion. Ann’s stomach knotted. Why did she have to be so foolish? He had probably been caught up in the moment last night and it obviously meant nothing to him. As was typical of a woman, she had given this way too much thought. Disappointment welled in her throat, but she swallowed against it. The best thing to do was pretend she didn’t care. But how?

  “You must have stuffed her clear full, Dad. She doesn’t have room for words.”

  Ann realized she still stared and hadn’t responded to Jacob. “Oh, uh, I— or rather he did. I guess he thought I needed to make up for skipping last night’s meal. So watch out, he’ll expect the same from you,” she teased, thankful for her quick recovery.

  Jacob gave a slight smile and excused himself to clean up. Ann glanced at Luke, who waited for her to say something. “What? You’re looking at me funny.”

  “I may be old, but I’m not so old I don’t recognize what’s going on between you two.”

  Ann scrunched her brows together. “Then you’re more perceptive than I am.” Then as if to herself, she mumbled, “He didn’t even say two words to me.”

  Luke leaned on the counter. “He didn’t have to and he knows it.”

  Ann tilted her head to the side and frowned. He walked to the table and patted her hand, sat his coffee cup down and looked directly at Ann. “Love’s a funny thing, Hon. It’s like your heart’s on a roller coaster, especially at the beginning. But if you keep yourself buckled up, the coast in makes it all worthwhile.”

  Ann couldn’t keep her eyes from widening as she stared at Luke.

  “It’s okay, Sunshine, you both have it.” His eyes twinkled.

  Speechless, Ann reminded herself to close her mouth.

  “I’ll leave you to your thoughts.” He patted his side. “Come on, Candy. Let’s step outside.”