Abandoned Hearts (The Ozark Durham Series)

by Regina Tittel

  “Hello there, wobbly legs. I was beginning to doubt if you’d make it. Glad you did though.”

  Jacob swiped the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his arm. He’d always been too stubborn to know when to quit. Today, it paid off. And, if his wife had given him the chance, it would’ve then, too. He pushed the memory aside. His marriage had failed. He had failed.

  He opened the shoot and watched the mother cow make her way over to nuzzle her new calf. Once assured it could suck properly, he released them into the field and washed off at the outside spigot. Satisfied with the results he headed back toward the house.

  The former task having consumed his morning, Jacob looked forward to stopping for lunch. He wasn’t driven so much by hunger as he was by the desire to see Ann. It surprised him how quickly he’d become accustomed to her presence.

  ***

  Ann ran from the giggling girl, trying not to get away too easily. She was thankful Ethan had given her a break. She may be able to outrun a four-year-old, but the eight-year-old offered more of a challenge. His legs, long like his father’s, could cover more ground than she expected.

  Ann looked up to keep track of Ethan and saw him run to greet his dad. There was no mistaking their relation. Ethan not only looked like his father, but also copied his every mannerism.

  “Dad, wait until you smell what’s cooking, Ann fixed us lunch and even Grandpa says it’s better than his cooking!”

  “Well, how does Grandpa know? Has he snuck in the kitchen?” Jacob ruffled his son’s hair.

  “I guess so.” Ethan jumped with excitement. “Ann’s planned a scavenger hunt!”

  Ann held the old green coat closed with her hands as she ran from Emily. Ethan jumped ahead and helped capture her so Emily could tickle her.

  Ann giggled and struggled to free herself. She looked up and her gaze connected with Jacob’s. Was the look in his eyes a reflection of the yearning she had for him?

  Ann went down as the children toppled her. She squirmed and laughed as their fingers jabbed her ribs until Jacob enabled her escape. He helped pull her to a stance before he stepped back and shoved his hands inside his pockets.

  Jacob cleared his throat. “Ethan told me you made lunch.”

  She nodded and struggled to calm her breathing. The children had given her a work-out. “I did. But if you don’t mind, I told them we could have the scavenger hunt before we eat.” She pointed to the children who already looked for clues.

  “In that case, let me get you something warmer first.” Jacob motioned for her to follow him inside.

  Ann followed behind Jacob and glanced down at her muddy knees. Her clothes had finished drying before Jacob came home. Luke had found an old pink sweat suit of his wife’s and lent it to her so she could do her laundry. Though she was grateful, they weren’t exactly complimentary to her figure. From the look of things, she’d have to repeat the chore tomorrow. She hoped she could work around Jacob’s presence. She didn’t want him to see her as a walking bottle of Pepto.

  Jacob led her to his room and rummaged through the closet. She paused in the doorway until he beckoned her to his side. “Here, this will not only keep you warm but will go great with your eyes.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

  She wound her way around the small space between the bed and the wall. “Oh and that’s so important.” She smiled, then accepted the sweater and admired the handiwork. “Who knitted this? It’s beautiful.”

  “My mom. She always had to be doing something with her hands.” As Jacob talked he stepped around Ann to help remove her jacket.

  “Thank you. It’ll beat trying to hold that old thing together for sure.” She pulled the sweater over her head then turned to exit but bumped into the bed.

  “Oof.” She toppled halfway over the mattress.

  Jacob hovered over her, his eyes glinted with mischief. He supported his weight with one hand beside her shoulder and slowly trailed a finger down her cheek and throat with the other. “Not that it doesn’t keep crossing my mind, too, but under the circumstances,” his mouth crooked a smile, “I don’t think we should.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jacob found his dad at the stove raising the lid to one of the pans. “Didn’t Mom always say whoever got caught with their hand in the cookie jar would be the one to wash it?”

  Luke dropped the lid back on the pot before he replied, “Then I guess it’s a good thing you stopped me. That way I can avoid dish detail.” He inhaled deeply. “Smells just like Mom’s cooking, doesn’t it, Son?”

  “Yeah, it sure does. What have you been doing this afternoon besides sneaking bites of food?”

  Luke chuckled. “Oh, a little of this and that.”

  “I sure could’ve used your help out there today. I had to chase ol’ Bessie around the field all morning before pulling her calf.”

  Luke patted his son’s shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t see you. I was probably asleep in the recliner. Next time, come in and holler for me.”

  “Hope you mean it. I’m sure there be plenty more opportunities.”

  Luke looked out the window. “You know it’s a shame Tommy’s not visiting. He’d be great to have around when you decide to hunt that wild cat.”

  Jacob didn’t mind the change of conversation. It was something he’d given thought to as well. “No doubt about that. He has the sharpest eye of anyone I know.”

  Just wish he kept a better eye on his personal life. Jacob wasn’t sure his dad knew how turned around Tommy’s life had become. He’d always viewed the eldest of the Stevenson’s children as the younger brother he never had. When Tommy made the decision to move away, Jacob vowed to visit. But with each trip, it became more evident what path Tommy had chosen. Between his weakness for women and his desire to party, the third visit became Jacob’s last. Though he was aware his own walk with the Lord wasn’t where it needed to be, he assumed Tommy no longer held to any belief.

  Ann and the children stepped through the doorway with the energy of spring.

  “Go wash up, then we’ll eat,” Ann told them.

  The children made their way down the hall, talking to Luke and Jacob the whole way. Jacob had washed and changed from helping the calf and now sat at the table.

  Before Luke took a seat, he offered coffee to Ann. “You’ll need this to keep up with those two.” He smiled as he pointed in the children’s direction.

  Jacob couldn’t take his eyes off Ann. Her cheeks had taken on a bright rosy hue from the crisp spring air and she radiated the same enthusiasm as the children. Her presence brought an unexpected completeness to his family. He’d never tried to fill the vacant spot the children’s mother left. Though there were a few single women at church that expressed their interest, he didn’t want to marry just to give the children a stepmother. But Ann, he realized, would never be seen as a stepmother. The children would eagerly accept her as their own, which is why he had to be careful and slow his feelings enough to fully consider the implication of his actions.

  Lunch passed quickly as everyone eagerly devoured the wholesome meal Ann prepared. Jacob eyed the kitchen counters more than once but wanted to wait until after the meal to tease Ann about the mess. Just in case she didn’t take it well, he didn’t want to lose his plate of food.

  “Now you know, Annie, we all loved the meal. But I just have to ask,” Jacob perused the countertops again. “How in the world did you manage to make such a huge mess with just one dinner?”

  He admitted the kitchen didn’t offer much counter space, but what it did offer was now consumed with every imaginable dish and utensil. A trail of milky cornstarch rings traveled from the counter to the stove where gravy splattered the oven’s surface. Empty jars and freezer bags dirtied the sink. Yet, as messy as it was, he wasn’t upset. If anything, he felt honored Ann would go to such obvious means to impress them.

  Ann laughed, a beautiful sound, and hung her head. “I know it’s terrible. That’s how I’ve always cooked. It drives my mother crazy. But you
’ll be pleased to know I clean up as good as I mess!”

  Luke carried his plate to the counter. “Well, let me wash the dishes at least, and then I’ll get out of the way so you can finish school. A little kitchen duty won’t hurt for having just eaten the best meal I’ve had in a long time.”

  Jacob watched his father and Ann work together as he laced on his boots. His father had taken an immediate liking to Ann, which he didn’t keep secret. Jacob understood the hints but tried not to encourage him. Though looking at them now, he couldn’t help but smile.

  “Dad, before you get lost in that mess, why don’t you leave those girly chores alone and come out and help me?”

  Ann spun on her heels and narrowed her eyes at Jacob. Her expression relaxed when she saw his smile.

  “You sure your hair’s not naturally red?” he laughed.

  “All right, so you had me. But it’s a lucky thing for you that you weren’t serious.”

  Luke cut in, “Okay, we’ll be outside if you need us, Sunshine.” Before he left, he planted a light kiss on Ann’s cheek and thanked her again for dinner.

  ***

  Jacob pulled himself out from under the tractor when Ann walked in. A warmth rose in his chest and he couldn’t control the smile that greeted her.

  “I brought you, and Luke, some coffee.”

  Jacob stood and brushed himself off. “Well, that was thoughtful, but Dad went to check on Candy. We just finished up.”

  Ann’s eyes narrowed. Was she aware of his dad playing matchmaker?

  “Penny for your thoughts?” Jacob reached for a mug.

  “It’s nothing. But, I do want to thank you. I hadn’t intended to impose on anyone when I took off the other day in the truck. But, I’m really glad everything happened as it did.”

  Jacob relaxed with his back against the tractor. He cocked his head sideways and furrowed his brows. “What is it? You have a funny look on your face.”

  Ann giggled. “You have a smidgen of grease on your nose.”

  Jacob took a swipe with the sleeve of his shirt.

  “No, it’s still there.” Ann closed the space between them. “Let me.”

  She took the rag that hung from his belt loop and gently swiped at the grease. Jacob set his mug down beside hers on the tractor’s step, and wrapped his hands around her narrow waist. “Taking care of me, are you?”

  Ann looked up and bit her lip. What was she holding back?

  “I went to the bridge today,” Jacob secured his hands around her then added, “and I figure you’ll be able to escape us tomorrow afternoon.” Jacob waited to see her reaction.

  Ann’s head dropped and she turned to step away, only Jacob held fast to her. “Look at me, Annie.”

  “No, I…uh...I...”

  Gently, Jacob cupped her chin and forced her to look up. His gut wrenched with the sadness revealed in her eyes. He knew the tenderness he felt for her was revealed in his own and did nothing to hide it. Without speaking, he tilted his head and brushed his lips to hers before pulling her close. He stroked her hair as he rested his chin on top of her head.

  Jacob didn’t have any answers. The miles between them weren’t many, but how long would Ann be in the area. Her stay was only meant as a retreat.

  Jacob pulled back and said, “Today is what, Monday? It’s hard to keep track with missing church and all that’s gone on,” he nervously rubbed his chin. “Anyway, how would you like to spend Sunday with us? We could pick you up for church and have the rest of the day together. You aren’t planning on leaving Missouri any time soon, right?”

  “No, I’m here until my relatives get back from their trip. Sunday would be nice. I’d love to.” Ann’s smile was weak as she backed toward the door. “I’d better get back inside. Ethan may need help with his project.”

  “What project would that be?” Anything to keep her there talking with him.

  Ann responded over her shoulder as she continued toward the barn door. “He wants to surprise you. You’ll see when you come in.”

  Jacob now stood alone with two cups of cold coffee. Hadn’t he set up another date? Why did she still seem distant? There should be a class guys could take on how to read women’s minds. He released a long sigh and wiped down his tools. How in the world would he be able to wait six days until he saw her again? He couldn’t. He had to think of an excuse to visit sooner.

  ***

  Ann slowly walked to the house. Though numbness had replaced all emotion, she still fought back the stinging of tears. She appreciated the offer to spend the day with Jacob’s family on Sunday. But, when she went home tomorrow, it would be six more days before she’d see him again. Six long days…yet, he was willing to wait ‘til then. Didn’t he feel the same way she did?

  Obviously, not.

  God, I know this is foolish to get so emotional over something probably not as important as I’m making it out to be. But, it hurts so much to not be wanted the same way in return. I thought you desired for me to be single. I accepted that, even though it wasn’t what I wanted. Now. it seemed as though you were gifting me with a family, but if he can wait six days to see me again…what does that say?

  She sucked in a deep breath of cold air and swiped at her eyes before opening the door. Ethan had finished his project and was preoccupied somewhere else. Thankful for the extra time alone, Ann rummaged around in the kitchen for ideas for dinner. Though she sensed God tug at her heart, this time she refused to give in. She would love to fall down on her knees and cry her heart out to Him, but if she did, someone would surely walk in on her during her moment of weakness. Forced to admit her broken heart and empty dreams aloud would only complete her devastation.

  Try as she might, the feelings that nagged her wouldn’t let up. She wanted to clear her head, so she left the children with Luke and explained her need for a walk. Ann headed in the direction of the old barn she had seen on her drive over and reminisced about her childhood days when family reunions held as much excitement as an amusement park.

  Every year her aunt and uncle cut a maze in the cornfield and stacked straw bales in the barn loft to create tunnels and secret passages that were always different from the year before. She could never count the endless hours she spent playing there.

  Ann remembered a particular occasion in the loft when she and three cousins hid in their secret room and discussed what they would be when they grew up. Sadie was going to be nothing less than a cowgirl and compete in rodeos; that had been her most recent phase. Teresa had her hopes set on a nursing profession. Natalie, Ann’s closest cousin, was bound for Hollywood. Ann had felt foolish with her desires in comparison to her cousins’ big dreams. She silently held back her hopes of simply being a mother and steered them away from prying into her thoughts with a clever turn to humor, as a way of avoiding deceit. She claimed she would be the clown the bull chased in an effort to keep Sadie safe.

  Ann surprised herself by laughing out loud. She imagined herself dressed as a clown, with polka dots and a big red nose, scared out of her mind as she madly ran from a furious bull. Bravery wasn’t one of her gifts.

  Gone were the days when she assumed all her hopes and dreams would one day come true. Restless of not having a family of her own and not wanting to settle for less than love, she’d turned to being a nanny.

  Until now.

  Why did God call me back here and why is He taking so long in letting me know?

  “Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and He shall strengthen thine heart; wait I say on the Lord.”

  Again, Ann was thankful her aunt had drilled into her the importance of memorizing scripture. God’s word sprung to mind right when she needed it most. She could almost hear Aunt Ellie as she told the story of Jesus being tempted and how He’d answered the devil with the words, “It is written…” referring to God’s word. Her aunt would then add in her singsong voice, “If His word is a good enough defense for my Savior, then it’s good enough for me!”

  Ann stopped to catch her bre
ath after cresting a hill and crept close to the edge of the road. She leaned around a sturdy young tree to steady herself and peered down. Past a sheer drop, she could see a flooded creek that flowed about fifty feet below. The sound of its rushing waters reminding her of why she was still here. The face of the cliff was dotted with rocks and trees and across the creek it quickly became forest again before it climbed into another hill. She pushed against the tree to turn back but something caught her eye. A couple of the trees looked blotted with white where their bark had been removed. They stood out like snow on ash. Ann wondered if it had been caused by a large buck rubbing his antlers.

  She straightened and rubbed the goose-bumps on her arms. It was a long way down. What if she’d fallen?

  Up ahead, on the other side of the road, she could see the barn. At one time it had probably been surrounded by fields, but was now partially hidden by a young forest. She turned her wobbly knees in that direction, thankful to leave the cliff.

  Ann paused in the road and reflected on the lost character the old barn represented. It stood as a testament of a time and lifestyle of a bygone era, when communities depended on one another to survive and expected to be called upon to help. Unlike now, where it seemed people no longer needed those they lived around to be successful, therefore neighbors were all but forgotten, just like this old barn.

  Ann made her way through the trees and soon stood in front of the forgotten monument. Towering oak planks, gnarled and twisted with age, invoked a feeling of awe. She took a timid step inside.

  Where pieces of tin had blown off the roof, a ray of sunlight reached a fallen acorn, resulting in the half-grown tree that now grew from the inside out. Sliding back a wooden latch, Ann stepped into a hall that separated two larger compartments. Excited about the prospect of what she might find, she peered through the space between two boards.

  Covered by a layer of dust, stood the remains of an old Model A. She might not have known what it was, if it weren’t for the one owned by her grandfather. She located the door into the stall and stepped toward the car as though going back in time. Her finger trailed through decades of dust on the hood as she walked around and admired the old wire grill. Though it was still intact, the bumper had been dented and the front right headlight was missing. She continued to the other side and slid behind the car and wall. Her jeans snagged on the bumper and drew her attention to a plate last licensed in ’76.