Abandoned Hearts (The Ozark Durham Series)

by Regina Tittel

  “I’m fine, Dad…just confused.”

  “I take it this isn’t my future son-in-law.” He took her wide-eyed expression as agreement. “Call if you need me, hon.”

  After her father rejoined the others, Ann gave Tommy her full attention. He cast his eyes to the porch boards in a subdued manner. Ann hoped it wasn’t an act. “Let’s step outside.”

  Tommy looked across her shoulder. “Wow, that’s some kind of gathering in there. I didn’t know if I was going to be hugged or boxed.”

  “I know which one I would’ve cheered on.” Ann ignored his hurt gaze. “That’s my family. Don’t bother asking, we’d be here all night if I tried to explain everyone.” Ann sat down in a chair adjacent to him on the porch. A curtain fluttered in the window. She wouldn’t have to worry about Tommy trying anything. Her protective family would keep him from that.

  Ann looked pointedly at Tommy. “I think you have some explaining to do. Like why you’re here and how did you find here?”

  “I’ll explain the first part. The second I’ll keep you guessing.” Tommy exhaled and ran his palms back and forth against his Armani clad legs. “I’ve had this awful tightening in my chest since we last spoke. I know you’re a Christian like my parents, but I thought perhaps you would be easier to talk to than them.

  “I’m aware I’m not living the way I should,” he went on. “In fact, I think I’ve succeeded in living the exact opposite of how God would have me.” Tommy looked out across the yard. He seemed to walk through his thoughts with care. “Nobody has ever talked to me in such plain terms before. I don’t know if they were afraid they’d offend me or afraid of how I’d react. I know you didn’t say much, but what you did say really got through to me and wouldn’t leave. So here I am, in hopes you can release me of all the turmoil you instilled before you so mercilessly drove away.”

  “And, the kiss?” Ann narrowed her gaze. “I’m still mad about that.”

  “Oh, yeah. The kiss.” Tommy flexed his jaw. “I’m sorry. I was way out of line.” A lengthened silence followed.

  Ann reached for Tommy’s hand. “If you want my help, it might help if you prayed with me. On my own, I can’t help you. But, I’ll pray that through Jesus your eyes will be opened and you’ll be blessed with understanding.”

  He looked from his feet to Ann. Fear and doubt were evident in his eyes. Ann squeezed his hand. “You don’t have to pray your own prayer right now, Tommy. Just bow your head with me.”

  After he nodded in agreement, Ann prayed. “Lord, touch my mouth and put the words that You’d have me speak on my lips so that I may be a blessing to You and Tommy.”

  Ann hoped he would see how genuine she was and not think of her as another “religious” person. “My aunt taught me to memorize scripture and that one I tweaked into my own prayer. They can be really helpful.”

  “Ann, I was raised with the Bible shoved down my throat. I do know a thing or two.” Tommy looked down at his hands before he softly spoke again. “I guess somewhere along the way, I just got lost.”

  For the next two hours, Ann battled Tommy’s questions and uncertainties. She was amazed at how easily scripture came to mind. It had to be the work of the Lord. If God worked this hard to draw Tommy back, what awesome calling might He have set aside for him? But, excited as she was by the prospect, it couldn’t compare to the exhilaration that claimed her when Tommy admitted he was a sinner and needed the saving grace of Jesus.

  She stressed the need to stay strong enough not to allow the material gains of this world to distract him and encouraged him to begin this new life-change by taking the focus off himself and serve others.

  Through tears and grateful hugs they said their good byes. Ann’s father joined her on the porch to wave as the BMW drove away.

  “What was that all about?” Her father asked.

  “King Solomon.”

  Her father raised his brows in question. “Care to explain that weird comment?”

  “In Ecclesiastes, Solomon speaks of all that he gathered for himself. Vineyards, gardens, slaves, livestock, treasure, and of course that big harem he’s so well known for.” She returned her dad’s smile at her light humor. “Yet, at the end, he says it was all meaningless, vanity and vexation of the spirit. Just like my friend Tommy, who should just pick up a towel.”

  “I followed you pretty good up until the towel part. Why pick up a towel?”

  Ann shrugged her shoulders as if it was simple to understand. “Like Jesus. He washed his disciple’s feet as an example that none of us are above serving others. King Solomon served himself and even with all of his riches he wound up miserable. So it goes without saying, we should all just pick up a towel.” Satisfied with her logic, Ann moved to go back inside.

  Her dad shook his head and smiled.

  ***

  Jacob wasn’t at all impressed with the outcome of the day. Amateurs filled the hunt. They were more excited to see a cougar than admit the danger it posed. His aggravation toward Jim increased with each wasted hour.

  “If it weren’t for the kid and the dead cougar, Durham, I don’t think I’d ever believe there was a cat out here. There’s no trace of him anywhere.” Jim exaggerated his point by waving his arm in an arch.

  Jacob’s chest expanded with air as he tried to control his annoyance. “Let’s call it quits.” He looked at the sloppy display of hunters and sighed. If there had been a trace of the cat, they would have marched over all the evidence by now.

  Jim signaled to the others to end the hunt. Jacob hoped no one planned to stay for dinner. His mood couldn’t tolerate their company. To add to his miserable thoughts, Tommy had announced Ann asked him to deliver the note.

  Tommy’s actions were a mystery. He’d previously made an open display of interest in Ann. Yet, when he delivered the letter he was subdued, as if something inside him admitted defeat. Aware of Tommy’s history of radical mood swings, Jacob tried to not give it any thought. Though inwardly, he hoped Ann had made it clear she had no interest in him.

  And, what about Tommy’s sudden announcement that he intended to head back home instead of stay for the hunt? Confusion muddled his thoughts even more. Tommy had been excited about the hunt, so, was he really headed home?

  Jacob wished he had a phone. First thing come Monday morning, he’d have one installed.

  The hunting crew packed up with tired apologies for their lack of success. With forced politeness, Jacob thanked them for their efforts and withdrew to the house. He enjoyed the solitude as he walked the short distance. Jacob wasn’t one to often socialize and today had taken a toll on his tolerance level. Too many people. Too many voices. None of which belonged to the person he longed for most. He reached the door to his cabin. The children’s enthusiasm over his arrival warmed his heart and lifted his mood.

  Luke filled four bowls with hot chili as he eyed the scowl on Jacob’s face. “Take a seat, Son. Some spicy chili ought to set things right.”

  Emily hurried to Jacob’s side and tried to show him some books. “Daddy, I want you to read my books first. I only have three.”

  “After dinner, kitten.” Jacob smiled at the little changes left by Ann. The children had never expected him to read a story every night. But, since Ann’s stay, they picked their books out early in the evening as though it had always been a family ritual. They also sang now. Whereas before, the only time he remembered hearing their voices in song was in the children’s choir at church, now he heard them singing throughout the day. And if they didn’t know the words to a tune, they simply hummed. It’s often the little things in life that make a man feel rich.

  Jacob took a seat with his family at the dinner table and waited for his father to say grace as usual. He lifted his head at his father’s last words, “…and please keep Ann safe as You bring her back home to us. Amen.”

  He caught his dad’s eyes before they were directed to the food. What was that twinkle for? If he is hiding something, I’ll never get it out of him. It wa
s probably his open line to God. Jacob always admired the spiritual relationship his dad possessed. It was one he needed to get back to.

  First things, first.

  Ann.

  ***

  Though she had only confided in her father and Natalie, the rest of Ann’s relatives sensed a change in her, too. They stated she was either too unsociable or daydreaming too much. Try as she might, she just couldn’t stop her thoughts of Jacob and wondered if he wasn’t doing the same.

  Tommy’s unexpected visit also added to the jumbled mess in her mind. The whole scene her family made was comical. It was a wonder any of them ever married, thinking how easy it would have been for their spouses to turn and run after their first introduction with the McHaven clan.

  As the sun began it’s descent on, yet, another Saturday, Ann grew restless with anticipation toward leaving. Her mother asked if she would eat Sunday dinner with them. She paused to form her words so that she wouldn’t hurt her mother’s feelings, but her father stepped in.

  “Ann has to be home for church tomorrow, dear. I believe there’s going to be something special going on.” He turned to Ann and winked, as though to assure her he’d kept quiet about what she’d shared with him.

  Even with her father’s help, Ann stayed until late evening. Every time she had an opening to leave, her mother would think of something else for her to do. Had her father stayed home, he would have stepped in for her. But, he left to help Bradley set up the baby’s room for her early arrival home.

  Frustrated for not being strong enough to leave, Ann closed the door to her room in a depressed mood. Now, she wouldn’t be able to attend church with Jacob. Would he understand? Would he doubt her feelings for him?

  Chapter Twenty

  Ann looked around her old bedroom as frustration eased from her shoulders. Taped along the pale yellow walls were posters of horses and farm life. Having been born a country girl at heart, only to be chained to suburbia by birth, Ann found a way of escape through the pictures on her wall. How many hours were spent staring at them and daydreaming of a different lifestyle, she could never tell. Even the bottoms of the walls were decorated. Plastered right above the floor molding were cutouts of flowers and various gardens. It gave the illusion of being outside.

  She often encouraged her mother to turn her room into something more useful since she’d left home. Now, she was thankful she hadn’t. And to think, she was finally experiencing the very thing she’d always wanted. Her eyes grew heavy as she concentrated on the pictures until she could no longer keep them open.

  Even before sunrise, Ann was awakened by somebody with admirable persistence. She willed herself to open her eyes and saw her dad stood beside the bed.

  “What are you doing, Dad?”

  “I figure if you leave within a half-hour, you should be able to make it to church on time.”

  Ann rubbed the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hand and replayed her dad’s words in her mind. When they finally made sense, she jumped out of bed and threw her arms around him.

  “Thank you, Dad! I’ll be ready to go in fifteen minutes.”

  He chuckled softly. “Shhh, or your mom will wake up and you’ll never get out of here in time. And, Pumpkin, don’t get into too big of a hurry. I don’t want you to get hurt out there on the road.”

  “I’ll be careful.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Ann’s father held out a travel mug of coffee. “You look as refreshing as spring. I’m sure I won’t be the only one to notice.”

  Ann forced herself to be watchful of the speedometer. Excitement hummed through her. She wasn’t going to miss church. In just a few short hours, she’d be back with Jacob. Back where she belonged.

  ***

  Jacob drove to Ann’s alone Sunday morning. If she’d returned home, there wouldn’t be enough room for all of them in the truck. And if she hadn’t, he didn’t want his disappointment to rub off on his children. Though her note didn’t say whether she’d be back on Saturday or Sunday, he’d still driven out to the Garret’s place yesterday, in hopes of finding her.

  The vacant house had been a huge disappointment. Added to that, he still wrestled with guilt that she had to make the journey alone. Though she was a grown woman and more than capable, he continued to find reason to worry.

  Jacob returned to the church alone. His children were already in their Sunday school classes. At least their hopes wouldn’t be diminished, yet. He took a seat beside his dad and heard him say, “Don’t worry, she’ll be here.”

  Why he couldn’t have inherited his father’s faith? As the Sunday school hour ended and the children made their way to the pews, his question grated on his nerves even more.

  More church members filed in and the greetings grew to a harmonious pitch, drowning out the nervous pounding of Jacob’s heart. Ethan and Emily couldn’t sit still and continued to turn back to see if Ann had walked in. Thanks to their grandpa, their hopes were still high. And, if she doesn’t make it? He didn’t know when he would see her again. He didn’t have her family’s phone number; he was powerless in knowing how to contact her.

  A quiet began to settle amongst the congregation. Jacob presumed the service was about to start and looked up from the tattered Bible he nervously rubbed. Everyone’s attention focused on the glass entry doors behind him. He turned to look, and a delighted squeal emitted from Emily as she and Ethan ran to greet Ann.

  She was a sight to behold. One he couldn’t take his eyes off of. Like a soft spring flower emerging from a long winter, she took his breath away. As he rose to greet her, it took all his control to not run and whisk her up in his arms. He calmly walked to her side as she stood after hugging the children. Jacob gathered her hands in his and pulled her to him. With his head bent to hers he inhaled her scent, renewing a memory.

  Ann looked at the small amount of space left in the pew. “Is there room?”

  She peered up at Jacob and caught sight of a warm smile tug the corners of his mouth.

  “I guess we’ll have to sit really close,” he said so only she could hear.

  ***

  Ann couldn’t help but beam. At his light joking, all her tension drained away. He had missed her, and that was enough for now. Luke looked over from the other end of the pew and whispered, “Hello Sunshine, good to see you.” Ann smiled back, her whole body filled with inexpressible contentment.

  She was home.

  Jacob rested his arm on the back of the pew behind Ann and drew her into the crook of his shoulder. She looked around and noted the church size to be around sixty members, which would explain the surprised looks she received when she first walked in. Hers was a new face in a crowd of people that had probably known one another for longer than she was old. As many of the members began to fill the choir, Ann looked up at Jacob.

  “Did Tommy give you my note?”

  Jacob hesitated. His eyes narrowed before answering. “Yeah. How’s everyone doing?”

  Ann quickly filled him in on her new niece before the choir began to sing. She was delighted to hear Jacob sing along. His baritone voice added a much needed balance to the overwhelming soprano in the front of the choir. She swallowed the giggle that wanted to follow. The lady was obviously proud of her voice and wasn’t afraid to praise God with all she had. Ann followed suit and enjoyed the old hymns like never before as the words rang simple and true.

  The pastor appeared eager, or perhaps it was nervous, to begin his sermon. He hardly waited for all the children to exit for children’s church before he explained the necessity for his message. “The importance of purity is a subject often over-looked because of its sensitive nature, but important, none the less.”

  During the closing prayer, Ann went over his words in her mind. Could God have been talking to her and Jacob? Though not one to battle with lustful sins of the flesh, she had twice found herself in that very situation with Jacob. She’d taken an oath of purity as a young teen and determined to save herself for marriage. Now, however
, she could understand why so many succumbed to the temptations of their flesh. Once allowed to step too far, it’s much harder to deny a body of its desires. She could definitely see Satan’s hand, or perhaps her own fleshly desires, leading her away from God’s path.

  In his message, the pastor mentioned Satan’s plan of attack. “First, he wants to lure us away from God. By letting yourself get caught up in your own desires, you’re less in tune to the voice of the Spirit.” How right the pastor was.

  But, he hadn’t stopped there. “Secondly, he wants to train us for divorce. Allowing sin to enter into a relationship before a covenant is made, is much the same as having a thorn in your side. Though you can still go on with life, it’s constantly there, often causing pain and strife.”

  The pastor had finished with the final focus of his message. “And thirdly, Satan will rob us of hope.”

  Loss of hope. Ann was familiar enough with that feeling she never wanted it present in her marriage. And, like the pastor said, “If it’s a great marriage you’re seeking, then the best way to plan for it is to preserve spiritual growth and purity today.”

  As the closing prayer was brought to an end, Ann stole a look at Jacob. He gave her a sly, sideways grin. One that said, “Yeah, I got it too.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze before he stood and offered a hand to help her to her feet.

  They made their way to the door, but everyone had waited for the opportunity to meet Ann. Jacob leaned near and said, “Might as well get this over with now.” At a nervous nod from Ann, he stepped slightly behind her but kept a comforting hand on her shoulder, and allowed everyone a turn to greet her.

  Ann couldn’t recall receiving so many hugs in one setting. Even her large family wasn’t this comfortable with one another. Not that it bothered her. It had quite an unexpected feel to it, as if spring now bubbled in her soul. Their love and affection had permeated the parts of her she’d allowed to become frozen for fear of being hurt again. They accepted her without question and were overjoyed she was with Jacob. As she repeatedly heard in whispers, “We always knew Jacob was a wonderful man, he just needed to meet his match.”