Her head throbbed painfully. The more she tried to remember, the worse the ache became, and she finally gave up with a sigh. She finished washing the dishes, dried them and put them away. No other memories surfaced, but she remained deeply troubled.
She returned to the bedroom and made her bed, smoothing the sheets and tucking them neatly in at the corners. As she fluffed the pillows, another memory flashed through her mind. Once again, she closed her eyes, trying to capture every detail.
She saw herself bent over a massive four poster bed. She was fluffing the pillows and arranging them at the head of the bed. Suddenly, the same man as before gripped her waist and tossed her onto the mattress. He fell down with her, laughing as he gathered her against him. He kissed her long and hard on the mouth as he fumbled with the buttons of her dress, and she moaned against his lips.
“Sarah,” he murmured.“My sweet Sarah. I’ve been waiting all day for this.”
She struggled against him, and he laughed as he pulled her arms over her head and held them down easily in one of his.
“Ah, you want to play, huh? My darling Sarah. You know how much I love it when you struggle. It just makes me want you more than ever.”
He easily subdued her, pressing her arms down against the mattress as he kissed her hard on the mouth. He opened her dress and unbuttoned her chemise, baring her breasts to his gaze. He grinned as she squirmed and thrashed beneath him, and then he bent his head, sucking her nipple deep into his mouth.
“Oh Sarah, you’re mine. You’re so beautiful, love. And you’re all mine.”
Once again, her eyes flew open. She could barely breathe from the intensity of the vision. Her head throbbed, and she felt as if she might throw up. She felt a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Even though the act of trying to remember made her feel dreadful, she tried to recall more. But nothing more came. The images faded, leaving only a shadowy memory.
She still couldn’t put a face to the man, but she was sure he was dark haired, and he had a mustache. The other details of his face were too indistinct for her to piece them together.
Tears prickled the backs of her eyes, and she fell back onto the bed, curling into a miserable ball. The man had called her Sarah again. She was fairly certain that was her name. And the way he had handled her and spoken to her … he must be her husband. She couldn’t think of any other explanation that was plausible. Yet, try as she might, she couldn’t recall any tender feelings for the man in her visions.
Her heart constricted as she thought once again about Brian. She definitely had tender feelings for him. What had she done?
Brian had been so wonderful, gentle, and caring. She hated to think that their relationship could be so terribly wrong. She heaved a deep sigh, wondering what she had done to make fate treat her so cruelly.
*****
Later that morning, Brian returned to the area where he had found his angel. He scanned the road, looking for the exact spot where he had seen her. He knew the terrain well, and he found the location without difficulty. As he tied his horse to a tree, he thanked heaven that it hadn’t snowed anymore since he had found her. A heavy snowfall would have covered any clues to what had happened.
He pinpointed the place where he had found her, and did a careful sweep of the surrounding area. Sure enough, higher up on the slope, he saw signs of where she must have tumbled down the hill.
He retraced her path, finally spotting a small, leather suitcase wedged among some large rocks. He pried it loose and opened it. There were several dresses, women’s undergarments, a wooden hairbrush, a small purse with money in it, and a bundle of books. There was also a small sketchbook, some charcoal pencils, and a metal case with paints and brushes.
Brian frowned thoughtfully at the bundle of books, running his hand over the spines. The books included a bible, a cookbook, and a book entitled Sonnets from the Renaissance.
Intrigued by the title, Brian freed the book and flipped through the pages. It was a book of love sonnets. As he flipped through, he came across a small photo of a man. He was handsome, with dark hair and a mustache. Brian spied an inscription on the inside flap of the book, and he squinted to read what it said.
To my dearest Sarah on your eighteenth birthday. May this book bring you joy, as you have made my life joyful.
With all my love,
Y.L.F. Thomas Martin
Brian swallowed hard, reading the inscription again. The handwriting was strong and masculine, and he could picture the man in the photo carefully penning the message. He was obviously someone who loved Sarah very much, but was Sarah the same woman as his angel?
The fact that he had begun to think of her as not just an angel, but his angel, made it difficult to accept that another man had given her a book of love sonnets. And what did Y.L.F. stand for? Your loving friend? Your loving fiancé?
Brian replaced the photo where he had found it in the book and bundled it back with the others. He returned them to the suitcase just as he had found them. He closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath. He didn’t want to admit it, but it looked as if there was likely another man with some claim to his angel’s affection, at least if she was Sarah.
Although Brian searched through the suitcase, he didn’t find any other clues to her identity. He slowly flipped through the sketchbook, admiring the images. There were a variety of drawings, each done with amazing talent. Had his angel drawn these? Near the back, he found a sketch of the same man who had been in the photo.
Brian’s gut clenched as he examined the image. It had been drawn with obvious love for the subject. He shoved everything back in the suitcase, tied the case onto his saddle and turned his horse toward home.
He didn’t want to think about it. He wished he didn’t have to think about it. But if what he suspected was true, he owed it to Sarah to help her rediscover her past and find the man in the pictures.
Surely the man must be frantically searching for her. He was likely worried sick. Brian knew that he certainly would be if he were in that man’s shoes.
Brian shook his head, pondering the strange workings of the human heart. It had been only two days since he had rescued his angel. That was hardly any time, in the grand scheme of things. And yet, in that brief span of time, he had gone from being satisfied with his life … content to remain a bachelor … to being deeply troubled by the prospect of losing a woman he barely knew.
*****
Brian arrived home to find his angel once again asleep on his bed. However, this time, she was fully dressed and lying on top of the quilts. He watched her for a few minutes, enjoying the sight of her. Giving in to temptation, he slipped his boots off and stretched out beside her, hugging her spoon like against his chest.
He shouldn’t be doing this, especially given what he had discovered. However, the lure of holding her one more time was simply too strong. He was a man, not a saint. If he found out she was married to someone else, he would do the honorable thing and stand aside. But until then, he wanted to pretend that she was his, even if it would make the parting that much harder down the road.
She sighed in her sleep, and snuggled closer, pulling his arm tight around her. Brian sucked in a silent breath as his hand landed on her soft, warm breast.
His needs waged a war with his conscience. The allure of her lush body begged him to make love to her. The cold reality that she probably belonged to another man … that she was very likely in love with another man … made him pause. He was on the verge of deciding to do the right thing, when she arched her back, pressing her hardened nipple against his palm.
“Brian,” she sighed softly.
His heart pounded as she writhed in her sleep. He was overjoyed that it was his name she had whispered. Her lovely brow furrowed in concentration as she licked her lips and moaned.
“Don’t leave me, Brian,” she breathed, frowning slightly.
Her entreaty, combined with such sumptuous womanly fare, was more than he could resist. His body had been
in agony all night and most of the day just remembering how she had looked and felt in his arms. His heart had been aching since he had discovered the book and the photo.
Holding her against him was like a soothing balm to both his body and his heart. He might burn in hell for the sin, but he couldn’t resist the urge to pretend she belonged to him for just a little while longer. He thrust the man in the photo from his mind and reached to claim his love.
“Wake up, my angel,” he murmured near her ear. He nuzzled her neck and kneaded her breast.“Wake up, my love. I need you.”
Chapter Three
She woke up to the exquisitely pleasant sensation of warm, manly lips trailing kisses along her neck and a strong, firm hand kneading her breast. She knew instantly that it was Brian, even without opening her eyes. She knew it was him, because she instantly felt the same way he had made her feel the previous morning … beautiful, feminine, desired, cherished … incredibly aroused.
“Wake up, my love. I need you,” Brian whispered, in his wickedly tempting voice.
She smiled, turning onto her back to face him. She opened her eyes and found him watching her intently. The visions that she had seen of possible memories from her past flitted through her mind, but she pushed them away. Even if it was wrong, she wanted to enjoy what remaining time she had with Brian. She wanted to experience being with him for just a little while longer.
“You’re back,” she whispered.“I missed you.”
“I haven’t been gone long,” Brian said with a smile.“Only a couple of hours.”
“Still, I missed you.”
She pulled him down for a kiss, opening her mouth under his so that his tongue could surge inside. Her lips were moist and succulent, clinging to his as she encouraged him to deepen the kiss.
He craved her, wanted her, needed her, with a desperation that scared him. But he knew he couldn’t appease his own needs if it meant hurting her. He ended the kiss with a shuddering sigh and searched her eyes. The huge brown pools were full of trust as she smiled at him. He couldn’t betray that trust.
“Angel, there is something I have to tell you.”
Something in his voice frightened her. She could sense that she wouldn’t like what he had to say. She wanted to enjoy just a few more minutes of blissful ignorance and have him kiss her like before.
“Not now,” she insisted, kissing his neck above his collar.“Make love to me again. Please, Brian. It felt so wonderful.”
Brian closed his eyes, savoring the sensation of her lips trailing down his neck. He forced himself to continue.“I went back to where I found you, angel. I think I found some of your things.”
“I’ll look at them later,” she murmured, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt.
Her fingers were a soft delight as she explored his chest. Brian really didn’t want her to stop, but neither did he want her to hate him if she found out that she had a husband or fiancé waiting for her.
“Sarah, listen. We really need to discuss this now.”
When she heard the name Sarah, she froze. She drew back to look at him with a worried frown.
“Why did you call me that?” she murmured.
“I found some things that might belong to you. The name Sarah is written in a book. I assumed that it was your name.”
“Oh no,” she groaned miserably.
She covered her face with her hands and shook her head as if in denial. She slid her hands up through her hair, giving Brian a pained look.
“I think you’re right. We should have a look at those things now.”
Brian nodded and retrieved the leather suitcase from the floor. She opened it hesitantly and began removing items, while he sat on the edge of the bed.
There were several pretty dresses. She looked them over carefully, but they didn’t stir any memories. She fingered a wooden hairbrush. There were a few strands of long, curly blonde hair, just like hers, wound through the bristles. A small purse contained some money. She guessed it to be about twenty dollars, although she didn’t count it. Finally, she came to the books.
“That is where I found the name Sarah,” Brian said quietly. He had been watching her reactions closely.“Do any of the items seem familiar to you?”
“No,” she whispered.“I don’t recognize any of them.”
He pulled out the book of sonnets and handed it to her.“Look inside,” he said.“There’s a photo and an inscription.”
Just like Brian had done, she looked at the photo first. Her brow furrowed as she studied the face. She tried to tell if it was the same man she had seen in her memories, but she couldn’t decide.
Both the man in the photo and the man in her visions had dark hair and a mustache, but that didn’t mean it was the same man. She didn’t recognize the man in the photo, but something about his face seemed familiar. She looked for a long time, but couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
“I don’t know who he is,” she said softly, “but somehow, I think I’ve met him before.”
Brian swallowed hard.“Read the inscription in the book. See what you think.”
She read the words several times, but they stirred no memories. Shaking her head, she looked at Brian and sighed.“I don’t recognize the handwriting or the name that he signed. And what does Y.L.F. mean?” she mused.
“I was hoping you could tell me,” Brian murmured.“What about the name Sarah? Do you think that is your name?”
She nodded her head.“There’s something I haven’t told you. I had two memories today, just brief flashes really. They were sort of like visions, but I feel certain they were memories of things that have happened to me.” She met his eye briefly.“In the visions, there was a man. I couldn’t see his face clearly, but he had dark hair and a mustache.”
“Was he this man?” Brian asked, pointing to the photo.
“I don’t know,” she said with a shrug.“I was trying to decide that too, but I can’t be certain. Anyway, this man called me Sarah in both of the visions.”
“So that must be your name,” Brian said, looking anything but pleased by the discovery.
“What’s wrong? Why are you looking like that?”
He blew out a frustrated breath and ran a hand through his hair.“Because if you are Sarah, it looks as if you have a fiancé, maybe even a husband.”
“There’s something else, Brian.” She waited until he met her eye before continuing.“In my visions, the man was very …” she blushed furiously and waved her hand in the air, trying to find the right way to phrase it, “he was very intimate with me.” She went on despite Brian’s scowl.“He grabbed me and kissed me. He even …”
Her voice trailed off uncertainly, and Brian’s frown deepened.“What, angel? What did he do?”
She looked down shyly as she continued.“He opened my dress and kissed me on my breast.”
Brian didn’t anticipate the depth of the jealousy he felt over hearing her statement. He growled low in his throat and rose, going to stare out the window. The thought of another man’s mouth on his angel’s breast was tormenting. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the image.
After a long minute of silence, she came to stand beside him.“What should we do?” she asked, tugging his arm until he turned to look at her.
“I don’t know,” he said quietly.“I know what I want to do. What I want is to forget about all this and pretend we never knew it existed, but I know that’s wrong.” He took a deep breath and blew it out.“Do you remember any feelings about the man in your vision? He must be your husband if he’s been that intimate with you.”
She blushed, but she continued to meet his eye.“You’re not my husband, and you’ve been even more intimate with me.” Seeing him wince, she sighed and took his large hand in her much smaller one.“Please don’t look like that, Brian. No matter what we find out about my identity or background, I refuse to think that what we’ve done together is wrong. At the worst, it was an innocent mistake.”
“It may have bee
n innocent before, but the feelings I’m having now are far from innocent, angel. Even knowing what I know, I want to make love to you.” Brian brushed her cheek with his thumb.“Sarah,” he said, using her name reluctantly, “do you think you love the man from your visions?”
She frowned, remembering how she had felt after her flashes of memory.“I don’t know. It’s odd, but both times, I felt quite distressed after the memory passed. I can’t figure out whether I was distressed by what I was remembering or whether the act of remembering was upsetting me.” She looked at Brian searchingly.“What should we do?”
He tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear and sighed heavily.“I think we should give it a few more days. Your memory seems to be coming back on its own. You’ve already had a couple of recollections. In the meantime, maybe I should go into town tomorrow and ask around casually. I don’t want to alert anyone to the fact that you are here just yet.” He gave her a sheepish grin.“It would ruin your reputation if people found out you were living here alone with two men.”
She nodded, accepting his logic.“Brian?” she ventured. Her sweet, trusting voice made his heart ache.
“Yes?”
“Whatever we find out … whatever I remember about my past,” she paused to squeeze his hand, “I want you to know that I’m glad you brought me here. I’ll always be glad that I met you.”
“I will be too, angel. I will be too.”
He pulled her into his arms, tucking her head beneath his chin as he hugged her. Looking out through the window, his heart felt tight in his chest. If he lost her, he knew it would hurt like hell.
*****
Brian went to help Liam with the cabin. It was already early afternoon, and Liam cast him a jaundiced glance.
“I was wondering whether you planned to do any work today.”
“Ha, ha. Very funny,” Brian grumbled as he picked up a hammer.“You know very well that I’ve been busy with our mystery guest.”
“Did you have any luck finding out who she is?”
Naughty Angel: Brian's Bride (The McKenzie Series #2) Page 5
