by Geo Dell
“And you decided not to answer,” Cammy said.
“No... No... I just. I just don't know, Cammy. I don't know what my feelings are. Could be.... given the right... Oh, Christ. I'm no good at this, Cammy. I'm not in love either. I'll leave it there, but you should not be worried about hurting anyone. Be happy. This world is so fucked up, Cammy. Be happy. If you're not happy, how can you make anyone else happy?”
She was still pressed against him, her head resting against his chest once more. She felt like a little sister who was going through a crisis. “I guess the truth is I see you like a little sister. I don't mean that in a bad way, Cammy.”
She started to cry again.
“I didn't mean it badly, Cammy. I truly didn't,” Bear said quickly.
She pulled her head away. Her hands tried to straighten his shirt which was wet and stuck to his chest. “I feel the same. I would like to be friends though. Maybe it will change, Bear. Maybe it will.”
He stroked her hair. “Maybe... Maybe,” he agreed.
Cammy pulled away, and rubbed at her face and eyes. “I get so emotional. I don't mean to.”
“Don't apologize for being you.”
“Did you know that Maddy saved my life more than once, Bear?”
“No, but I knew there was something there. And I know she loved you.”
Cammy nodded. She fell silent and then looked away toward the front of the junk yard.
Bear sighed. “I have to be there. It's my shift. Are we going to be alright now? I mean...”
“I know what you mean...” She straightened and patted at her hair, swiped at her eyes again. “Yeah... Yeah, we're going to be okay now,” Cammy said quietly. “I think you do love someone, Bear. Maybe you just don't realize you do.”
Bear stayed quiet. “I loved someone. I'm pretty sure that's where it stays for now.” He helped her up and back down to the ground. They walked together back down the car lined path toward the front of the junk yard.
CHAPTER SIX
The Nation
The main meeting area of the cave was huge, measuring more than one hundred feet across in the middle and nearly twice that deep back into the rock before it narrowed and split into tunnels leading into the heart of the small mountain.
The entire community was there. They'd had a community dinner. That happened more and more, as the larger projects drew more people who worked together all day long. Tim and Annie worked in the cave with Sandy, Susan and Jan. Lilly ran the school for the children down in the valley, but she was up at the cave the rest of the time, and Tom was tied up with projects with Bob all day long too. It was easier for all of them to not have to be concerned about cooking.
Mike and Ronnie had been finishing up Ronnie and Patty's stone house in the valley. They had come up to the main cave area after work rather than go home. Besides, they had reasoned, Candace, Patty and a few others were working on the storage areas in the cave, so they would be there too. They had met them there, and they had all eaten dinner together in the main area.
Sandy had taken Candace, Patty and Lilly away with her right after dinner to the clinic that was in one of the smaller rooms off the main area. They had both just finished a long talk with her and returned to the main cave area.
Sandy was a nurse, the closest thing to a doctor The Nation had, and she was busy almost every day with one thing or another. They walked back out into the main cave area as Mike and Ronnie were coming in from the ledge where they had been talking with Bob and Tom.
“Oh, oh,” Ronnie said.
Mike smiled.
At six months pregnant, they were both showing. Lilly came out nearly behind them. She was much bigger.
Candace came to Mike and looked up into his eyes. “Tell me you didn't have anything to do with that,” she said.
Mike frowned. “I wish I could. Honey, you have to look at it sensibly. This is not going to be a fast trip. And it's going to be...” She placed one finger on his lips.
“Okay,” she said
“Okay?” Mike asked, surprised.
“Yeah, I was mad, but really, you told me last night. I guess I had most of today to talk it over with Pats, think about it, and I decided you were right. Sandy was just the icing on the cake. Look at me,” She stepped back and turned sideways.
“Um,” Mike said.
“Um?”
“Well, um, you are getting bigger, but it looks good on you, Babe,” Mike said.
Candace laughed. She looked over at Patty who had locked her arms around Ronnie and rested her head on his chest. “Such a suck up,” Candace said.
Patty laughed, but her eyes were red rimmed as though she had been crying. Mike supposed she had been. He looked back at Candace. Her eyes were red too.
“I wish it could have been different,” Mike said.
“Yeah,” Ronnie agreed.
Patty looked up at him. “It speaks,” she said.
Ronnie laughed as Lilly walked over with Tom.
“Guess we better get this show on the road,” Mike said.
Bob came over, Molly, Nellie, Arlene and David with him. Jan was right behind them.
The Nation's council consisted of Mike, Candace, Ronnie, Patty, Bob, Jan, Molly, Lilly and Arlene. They had not settled on nine members and then elected them, the nine had instead volunteered soon after they had arrived in the valley. They had simply taken everyone that volunteered.
They rarely met, preferring to talk things over as needed, maybe in the barn over milking, up in the cave sorting potatoes, out in the field stripping the seed from the wheat; it didn't matter. This would be only the second formal council meeting.
“Folks.” Mike raised his voice and the small talk in the room died down. He was surprised how many new faces there were. “I don't like formal stuff, I don't want any of us to start thinking one is better than another. The old world stuff, I just want to leave it alone. But we have decided we need to make a trip out into the world.”
There had been a small amount of conversation, all low, respectful. But it died completely, so quiet that Mike could hear the wind whistling around the bad fitting edge of one of the main doors.
He nodded. “We want to leave in about two weeks, the sixteenth... well, twelve days. We talked about two weeks, but the sixteenth seems to be the actual date. We are not taking a lot of people. It's going to be a dangerous trip. You guys listen to the radio, so you realize what's going on out there. Some of you just came in. You have a better idea than I do, and I would like to speak to a few of you before we go. I'm thinking six people. No pay, long hours, and, no pregnant ladies. You have to talk to Sandy about that. Believe me you won't get anywhere.” He paused for a moment, but the silence held. He had not expected much else.
“Twelve days is not much time. If you have an idea of something we need, tell one of us. Better yet, tell Jan. I just volunteered her, but she's been through this before. She knows what to do. See her; she'll make sure we know about it.” He looked over at Candace. “I might be forgetting something, but I don't know what it would be. We'll be gone no longer than we have to be gone. Fall is coming, and we have more groups on the way.”
“Nellie and I want to go,” Molly said. Mike had talked to both of them earlier. They both really had wanted to go. He had done no convincing.
Mike nodded now. Tim's hand raised. “Tim?”
“Annie and I want to go.” This was not a surprise either. They had talked it over. The only thing Mike did feel ill at ease with was taking Annie.
“Ronnie and me and that makes six, unless anyone has a different idea, or wants to go.” Mike waited to see if anyone would speak. There were a few he would make it eight for, if they wanted to go, a few who he would not budge for at all, but no one spoke. No hands were raised. Mike nodded after a few moments. He looked around the large room. “A few of you who just came in... Bud... Johnny... Tammy. I don't want to exclude anyone either. But I would like to talk to you over the next few days. I just want your best advice
. Anyone else with recent experience out there too. Guess that's it.” Mike sat down at the nearby table where Candace, Patty and Ronnie sat with Bob and several others.
“Well, I think that went well,” Bob said.
“Except you volunteered me for the lists, Michael,” Jan said.
“Sorry,” Mike said.
“Twelve days,” Candace said. Her eyes were shiny.
“Twelve days,” Mike agreed.
Hazleton
Bear climbed up the steel ladder they had leaned up against the bus. Beth sat looking out at the street in an aluminum lawn chair. She turned as he made the top and smiled. Bear smiled back, turned and looked back into the junkyard for a moment. The view was unobstructed. The yard stretched away before him. He turned back to the front. A house lined street, like any house lined street, in any city. He assumed it went on into Hazleton, but they had not followed it.
“Quiet?”
“Very,” Beth agreed. “These zombies don't seem all that interested in us. Or... I don't know, they're stupid... mentally slower.” She shrugged
Bear nodded. “But I wonder if it works the same. I mean, I wonder if these just haven't caught up yet. And when they do, I wonder if they'll be as bad as the others.”
Beth looked back at the house lined street beyond the bus. She had been watching the street, occasionally turning to the junk yard, and watching the fence line for hours now. She had seen two dead. Both had been farther down the street, a good quarter mile away, so far that it may have been the same dead woman both times. She had not really gotten much of a look the first time. “I guess I'm just glad we don't have to fight them like we were. The brain rest is good.”
They both fell silent. Bear crossed and sat in the other lawn chair that had been set up on top of the bus.
“We should probably move out in a few days,” Bear said. “It's nice, but it's not getting us any closer to where we want to be.”
Beth looked over at him. “Where do we want to be, Bear?” she asked.
“South... west?”
“You thought much more about these people that have this city all set up?”
“Yeah, except I haven't heard anything at all about them on the radio. I wonder, if it truly did exist... if it has fallen to the dead. Just because they aren't too smart here doesn't mean they aren't there.”
“So you don't want to look for it?”
Bear laughed. “Have you considered that maybe I am not a man who can live a settled life, that maybe my life will always be in flux? I mean, in...”
“I know what flux means.” She smiled again “I am no dumb girl, Bear.”
“Oh, I didn't mean to...”
She held up a hand. “I know you don't think I'm a dumb girl. I over explain sometimes. Or react,” she colored. She turned away and looked over the street.
The dead girl was back, wandering the street, stumbling from house to house, slamming into the houses as she found them, apparently unable to see them or stop herself. She and Bear watched as she wandered up the street toward them and the bus that would block her way.
“I guess a place to call home,” Bear said. “The year is going by so fast. We need people who know how to plant gardens, raise cows, things like that.”
Beth laughed. “You? A farmer?”
Bear looked at her and smiled. “Uh, no. I'm not going to pretend either. What I would like is to be working steel again. That's what I did all of my life, but that's not going to happen. This will sound crazy, but I think... This really will sound crazy. I've thought about it, and it sounded crazy to me when I said it to myself, but I think I might drift.”
“Drift? You mean like a cowboy in a movie?”
Bear laughed. “More like a biker movie I saw once, but I think I did get the word from a western. Yeah... Just drift. I don't think I want to settle down yet. I've been here one day and it's old... Lonesome Dove ... McMurtry. I think that was where I read it.”
“Good book,” Beth agreed. “So a woman can't tie you down.”
Bear had been watching the dead girl stagger up the street. He turned now and looked at Beth. She met his eyes and held them. She looked away first
“Sorry... Not my business,” she said.
“It would depend,” Bear said.
“On whose business it is?” Beth asked.
“No. It would depend on the woman,” Bear said quietly. Beth locked her eyes with his again. This time Bear looked away.
The silence spun out. The dead girl slammed hard into the side of a garage three houses down the street, got up, stumbled to the back of the house, across the rear lawn, and then walked off the end of a retaining wall that dropped into a deep ravine at the back of the house. She emerged a few moments later rolling in a loose flap of arms and legs down into the pit far below. One leg flew up into the air and just kept going.
“Ouch,” Bear muttered. “Jesus.”
“Took half her ass with it too,” Beth said.
Bear choked trying to hold the laughter back. “You are a sick puppy,” Bear managed after a moment.
“Hey. You laughed too. Besides, if she had made it three more houses I would have shot her, and she would have lost more than a leg and half of her ass.”
Bear choked again. “That is so fucked up.”
Beth laughed back. “It is... I'm sorry. Look what's become of us.” She choked her own giggles back. The silence came back again. In the distance, somewhere over in Hazleton, smoke began to rise up into the air, a thick black pillar. Bear watched it, as did Beth.
“That did not start on its own,” Beth said.
“Nope,” Bear agreed. He laughed again.
“This is amusing?”
“No, but the situation is, because right about now I wish I was somewhere safe and warm. Drift my ass.”
Beth laughed. “I don't want to go see what that is.”
Bear sighed. “Neither do I, but I'm going to. Can't chance they come looking for us tonight, if we can see their smoke it's a bet they can see ours.”
Beth stood. “Me and you? We can leave this to Dell. It's about time to get him and Winston up anyway.”
“Winston is up. Didn't see Dell though.” Bear stood too.
“Send him back. I'll wait,” Beth said.
Bear nodded and turned to the ladder.
The Garage
The van was stripped down, wheels and frame gone, its doors off and interior stripped out. It was just a shell suspended from two A frames over the truck frame. Bear whistled as he walked by and headed up to the overhead storage area where they had set up sleeping quarters.
Dell was up and getting dressed. “You came to get me? Must be something up,” he said as Bear walked in.
“Yeah. I hate to do it, but I need you to take my shift on the bus. Beth and I are heading over into Hazleton. Smoke, just a short while ago. I guess if they didn't want us to know, they wouldn't have started a fire. I'm guessing, but I'm sure they can see our fires here.”
“Take it to them before they can bring it to us?” Dell said.
Bear shrugged. “I guess it could be good news. Maybe others that might want to travel with us.”
“But you don't think so.”
“Nope. If they were interested in joining, they would have come over. We have fires that have been going since we got here. How could they miss it? No, instead they start a fire on the other side of the city. Suspect.”
Dell tugged his last boot on, shot the laces through the steel hooks that ran up each side of the boot and tied it. “Let's go,” he said as he stood from the edge of the bed.
They were walking into the garage when Beth called on the radio.
“Beth says Company,” Billy told him.
Bear swore. He had clipped his radio on his belt but had not turned it on. He plucked it from the belt and flicked the knob. “How many?” he asked.
“Three,” Beth answered. “But they're attracting a crowd... dead. So don't be surprised if you hear gunfire.”
/>
She was no sooner done talking than gunfire erupted from the direction of the gate. All four men ran from the garage and headed for the bus.
Bear yanked his machine pistol free from the sheath that held it across his shoulder. He flicked off the safety as he ran.
Donita
They were not hers, and she did not understand them. There had been others she had met along the way that were the same. Dead, passed over into this new life, but not like her. There was no better explanation for it. These were slow, empty vessels full of holes. She could not lead them. They could not hear her voice or any other. She let the boy and the twin run them down. But they were not really good training for them.
She was on the outskirts of a small city. She and the three with her had spent the day before in the woods, not far from the city, going in at night to find the living. They were in those same woods now, Donita limping along, the twin and the boy at her side, the big man behind her. One leg had been a mangled ruin. It was still not much more than that, and she had taken shots to the chest that were healing too, but her body was rebuilding itself as she walked.
Her one remaining twin had lost an eye, a head shot that had ruined her face. It was rebuilding, but Donita did not believe the eye would come back. It seemed to be healing into a twisted mass of scar tissue that covered that side of her face. The boy was unharmed. The big man had taken most of the shots protecting the twin and the boy, but he was healing too as they walked, faster even than Donita was.
The living had thought they were like the other dead that they had found in the town, slow and stupid, so they had not been prepared for the reality that she had taken to them.
She had found them in the basement of an old farm house. No one guarding, or if there had been, they had fallen asleep. She would take six that were meant for her. The others she gave to the boy and the twin. The big man helped her with the six. It had seemed to go smoothly. The ones that were hers were stretched out on the cold concrete. She waited while the others fed. But the night passed and the morning came, and they had not come back.
