by Bex Dane
"More than a chance. You accept it for what it is. Nothing between us will change. I won't slip on my training."
He dipped his head and closed his eyes. "Where's she staying?"
"Here."
He stood and paced the room. "Here? With us? While we train for the toughest resilience test SOC can come up with?"
"Why you stressin', man? You think we won't succeed? Cuz we will. We don't know the details, but the training we're doing is optimized for whatever they throw at us. We've been through it twice and made the cut. We'll make it this time too."
He nodded because he knew I spoke the truth. "My concern is selfish. If a man has something to lose, he might not be as inclined to lay his life on the line for you."
"You think I wouldn't give my life for yours?"
"I think you have a reason not to now."
"Bullshit. You're my brother. My loyalty is solid. If you need me, I'll be there." I sat next to him on the bed. "You know you're implying you have nothing to live for."
"I don't. Nothing but the next mission."
"Maybe you should dip your toes in the distraction pond too."
"I do dip my toe. Then I clean it off and find another pond. I don't keep dipping it in the same pond over and over!" He stood up and stalked to the door. "Does she cook?"
"I have no idea."
He looked to the ceiling and left the room.
***
"I don't want you to go." Eden tucked her forehead into my neck after I'd crawled into bed at midnight, as I'd done each night for the last three weeks.
Turns out she could cook— a few things— and helped us with the food. Falcon grew to like her as soon as he saw she wouldn't interfere with our training. She left us alone during the day and seemed happy to see me for the six hours a night we slept together. I wanted to court her like I'd promised, but I'd also promised Falcon I wouldn't slip in my training, so I couldn't take her out.
"Shh. It's only four weeks this time."
"Can you call me or text?"
"No. Don't tell anyone where I am."
"Come by the PX when I'm working." She'd landed a full-time job at the PX on Fort Bragg and she'd registered for school again.
"I won't be anywhere near the PX. I won't have a phone. Stay focused on your work while I do mine. Keep busy."
"Okay."
"You can handle this. Your dad must have left like this all the time."
"It's different when it's your dad. This feels more like when Nathan left."
"Hell. Don't think of it that way."
"I'm sorry."
"Maybe you should stay with your parents while we're gone. I don't like you being alone in Wilmington."
"No. I'll be fine. Just be careful and come back to me." Her lower lip trembled and her eyes turned glassy. She looked down, trying to hide her tears from me.
"I will. I promise."
I brought her face up and kissed the wetness from her cheeks. "Don't cry, babe. It's just training. Enjoy the hours we have together before I leave."
"Okay."
Chapter 9
Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Seventy of the most highly trained special ops fighters lined up nut to butt at the headwaters of the Cape Fear River. My self-control battled with the temptation to crane my neck out of line to see my fate, but I stayed in formation. Finally, my turn to pass the bend arrived. Four staff sergeants stood on the banks of the river, two positioned on the roof of a Humvee.
"Climb up, Sergeant Saxton. Don't scratch the vehicle," Staff Sergeant Mercury said to me.
I scaled the back of the vehicle and stood at attention facing the water.
"Recite the Soldier's Creed."
"I am an American soldier.
I am a warrior and a member of a team.
I serve the people of the United States and live the Army values.
I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defe— "
On the word defeat, the sergeant behind me side-kicked me in the spine. I anticipated it and arched into a dive as soon as his boot left my back.
Ice-cold rapids sucked me in deep and hauled me downstream. Fifty seconds later, my feet brushed against a shallow patch and pushed off the riverbed, giving me the first chance to catch a breath. The current too strong to fight, I held my breath and let the force of nature have its way. It pulled me under for long periods, pushing my air control to the limit four times. When I finally surfaced, I'd probably traveled four thousand yards and completely lost sight of the drop-off point. If I sank now, there'd be no one here to drag me out. The river widened and curved enough I made a pass for the banks. After about ten minutes of full-bore paddling, a yellow rope dropped onto the surface of the water.
I gripped it and followed the line to see Falcon reeling me in at the other end.
"Hey, fucker!" Water splashed as I slapped Falcon on the back. "How the hell did you find me?"
My hands shook and my skin turned blue, but I'd made it.
"Always got one eye on you, bro." Men like Falcon made an ideal teammate. Never self-serving, always offering a hand. Falcon was certifiably nuts, but I could count on him to pull through for me in any situation.
"They had to pick the coldest day of the month for this," I said.
"At least it's not winter selection."
"True. I got an extra twenty pounds in my ruck thanks to Langbow. Passive aggressive ass."
"No whining. Embrace the suck."
Falcon had said that to me so often, it'd lost its meaning. It all sucked. Why the hell was I doing this again? I could be back at home in bed with Eden, but instead I'm freezing my balls off hiking up a hill in squishy boots to whatever round of suck SS Mercury had in store for me.
"We made it," Falcon said at the drop-off point, staring down at the shivering sops of failure lining the banks. Medics checked each one and sent them home with their tails between their legs. I counted at least twenty soldiers limping away from the water survival test, never to return to quals.
Why do I do this? Because I'm made for it. I have the resilience, the drive, and the skill. Falcon's cut of the same cloth. We were born to fight and survive. Our country needs men like us to stand up and do what weaker men can't. And, to be honest, skirting death and destruction with Falcon by my side provided a twisted brand of fun.
"To those of you who passed the water survival test," Staff Sergeant Mercury called out, "report here at seventeen-twenty-five for the eighteen-mile march. Full BDUs. Rucks at eighty pounds."
Shit. Only a few hours to dry our gear and consume some calories before running through the night.
***
Falcon and I led the march until sunrise. Falcon stumbled and dry heaved into the bushes. He took a sip of water and resumed his pace. No glory, no whining, just hard-ass carrying on and forging forward.
Ten men dropped out during the march, and we were down to twenty candidates. My shrunken boots chafed my heels till they bled during the forty-mile march with a forty-five pound ruck the next day. I borrowed moleskin patches from Falcon and finished fourth, well within the time limit.
By the end of the third week, only nine candidates remained. Falcon and I, Diesel and Blaze, two SEALs called Ruger and Oz, and three other Rangers I hadn't worked with before. Either way, the next Alpha Squadron unit was shaping up to be impressive.
Field navigation ended up being fun for Falcon and me. We'd completed sniper school and Ranger training in the hills beyond Fort Bragg and knew each rock and crevice of the terrain.
After brutal intensive interrogation techniques, countless fake extractions in both urban and rural environments, and fast-roping into the ocean, we had our six-man team.
Staff Sergeant Mercury appointed Falcon the next Delta Force Alpha Squadron commander. I'd take the role of lead sniper, Falcon continuing as my spotter. Mercury was smart to put Ruger as medic and Oz as munitions specialist because they had a proven track record, and unique SEAL experi
ence. He put Blaze on explosives and Diesel on intelligence. Three sets of complementary skills that together made a complete and robust team.
We stood at attention as he awarded us a nondescript bar. The additional Special Forces bar couldn't be traced to Delta Force. Only the highest echelon at Special Ops Command knew what it stood for. I also received my expert badge for marksmanship, putting me on equal footing with Falcon.
"Saxton and Hendrix, canine training starts tomorrow. Three more weeks," Staff Sergeant Mercury said at the end of the ceremony.
I maintained my form, but inside I cheered and fist-bumped Falcon. I'd given up hope of Langbow putting the word in to get me a dog.
I didn't call Eden to let her know I wouldn't be home. The rules clearly stated no calls home during training. I didn't have my cell phone on me anyway. I could call from the hotel room. Nah. Not risking it.
***
Falcon and I arrived at the canine training center in Fayetteville at oh-six hundred the next morning. Our bodies were wrecked from the torture of the selection process, but a new dog motivated us to keep going.
Gerhard Bernstrom, the private contractor specializing in multi-purpose military canines, greeted us as we entered.
"Morning. Langbow tells me you're looking for a new team member."
"I am. We know you've got nothing but the best here."
"I do. I have some promising German Shepherds and a female Belgian Malinois for you to look at."
"My last dog was a male Shepherd."
"The Malinois are smaller. Easier to carry on your back, get into small spaces. The female I mentioned has a killer bite."
"Not sure about a female."
"They're as strong as the males and more consistent."
We followed Gerhard back to the kennel. I spotted the Malinois first. She sat pert at her gate, eyes and ears on us. Her tail stopped wagging as we got close, even though she was clearly excited to have visitors. The Shepherds came to their gates too, but none of them had the intensity of the Malinois.
Her eyes and muzzle were ringed in black. No white spots to reveal her position. Her fur carried the thickness and brightness of a pup, but her demeanor matched that of a seasoned working dog.
"Let's take the Malinois out first. See how she does," I said. She'd earned my attention already.
He opened her cage and she heeled without a leash as he walked her to the training area out back.
"Her name's Takoda, but you can change it. She responds to Dutch and English commands."
He showed me her sit, stay, wait, search, and found signal. She performed great for those basic tasks, no refusal. At the end of her repertoire, Gerhard tossed her a Kong and she hunkered down to munch on it.
"Put the arm on," Gerhard said. "This girl defines aggressive."
Falcon and I suited up and faked a chase at the end of the dirt road. Takoda pulled at her lead, hopping up on her back legs, anxious to jet free.
"Get him!" Gerhard said in an agitated voice, but she didn't need the verbal command. Nothing could stop Takoda from assaulting her target—my arm. She had beautiful form and balance as she ran to me. Her front legs hit me hard, and her jaw locked on the upper part of my arm. She wrenched so hard I nearly lost my footing. Her growl was impressive and scary. Her teeth, shiny and white. I yelled in her face to see if I could scare her, but she was not deterred. I wrestled with her for a good minute or two, and she never loosened her bite to adjust. If she did, her target could seize the chance and escape. She held the first lock down tight as a vise.
"Off!"
She obeyed Gerhard's command quickly, and transformed into a happy puppy again once Gerhard tossed the Kong into her jaws. Great ball drive.
"Good job," I told her and her ears perked up. She loved showing off for us.
"You put on the sleeve now," I said to Gerhard. "Let's see how she responds to me."
While they suited up, I ran her through her commands. She got confused once but quickly corrected. The eagerness in her spoke to me. We were kindred spirits, both always seeking the next task. Takoda was a good solid dog and I connected with her right then. I knew I'd give my life for her and she'd do the same for me.
Falcon engaged in a mock fight with Gerhard, sparking Takoda back into attack mode. She growled and barked. For a second, I worried she'd attack Falcon when she was supposed to be going after Gerhard, but when I let her loose, she went straight to Gerhard and gave him the same treatment she'd given me. That showed me she would follow my orders even if she had to attack someone she knew and trusted.
Gerhard and Falcon walked back to me with the gear in their arms. Takoda sat at my feet with the Kong in her mouth.
"Good dog." I crouched down and patted her hard on her flanks. Dogs and horses, they don't want a gentle pat on the head. They want a strong, firm smack on the sides so they can feel the interaction. She felt solid and athletic under my hand.
"How's she at detection?"
"She's better at explosives than drugs. She can scent explosives on a human too, but her bite and demeanor are her strengths."
"I want her," I said to Falcon.
"Agreed. She's incredible."
"She's yours then. Come back tomorrow. We'll get started on field work. It's a three-week course."
I knew that because I'd done the course with my last dog, but I was looking forward to working with Takoda.
As we walked back to the kennel, I decided I didn't want her to spend another night in there, wondering how she did on her test.
"Can I take her now?" She needed to know she'd passed with flying colors.
"The place you're staying allow dogs?"
"If they don't, we'll find another place."
He nodded. "I'll give you her food and some of her gear tonight and you bring her back at oh-seven hundred. You take good care of my girl."
"She's my girl now."
He grinned at that, knowing Takoda was in good hands.
As we got in the truck, Falcon said to her, "Welcome to the team, Takoda. You just got selected for Delta Force."
I laughed because Takoda would perform at her best no matter what team she was on.
Chapter 10
Three weeks later
Wilmington, North Carolina
Takoda panted in the back seat of my truck, excited to see her new home. A fancy bouquet rode next to me in the passenger seat. I'd picked one with violet flowers and green, twisty vines because they reminded me of her—exotic, curvy, and out of control. With thirteen deployments in the last eleven years and countless placements for special training, today marked the first time a woman apart from my mother waited at home for me. Couldn't wait to swoop her up and get her clothes off. Diesel's habit of haphazardly marrying before major career shifts made more sense to me now. He went out of his way to procure a warm body to greet him upon his return.
Cold air and a rancid smell hit me the second I opened the door.
"Eden?"
No response. The kitchen light illuminated an empty place.
"Koda, search."
I followed Takoda down the hallway to our bedroom. Eden sat huddled in the corner. Her hair hung in her face, her clothes stained. She didn't look up when I walked in.
"Eden. My god." I scooped her up off the floor and carried her to the bed. I checked her quickly for injuries. She looked skinnier than when I'd left, but otherwise okay. Her spaced-out gaze and shallow breathing worried me.
The floor was strewn with plastic cups and empty bottles of rum and Coke. A red, white, and blue circle marked the closet mirror. Matching colors smeared the white tank top and shorts she wore.
"What happened?"
"Rogan?"
"Yes, baby. I'm here."
"I made you a cake."
"I see it smashed on the mirror."
"Three weeks ago."
Oh shit. She'd been waiting for me all this time?
"Have you been doing drugs?"
"Couldn't sleep."
"
Sleeping pills? How many did you take?" I opened the drawer to the nightstand and found a bottle of Ambien. The label said sixty and there were five left in the bottle. "Did you take all of these?"
"No, no. I only take a little at a time." Her voice slurred and her lids drooped.
"Let's get you in the shower."
She hunched over and sobbed. "You didn't come back."
"Shh. I'm here now. I'm here. It's okay. C'mon."
I undressed her and threw my clothes off. She curled up in my arms as I carried her into the gentle spray of the shower.
Shit. She'd lost a lot of weight. Her eyes popped open and she seemed surprised by the water. She stared at my chest and threw her arms around my neck. "You came back."
"I'm here. Are you okay?"
"I'm okay now." She bent her neck back for me to kiss her. I pressed my closed lips to hers.
"Make love to me," she said against my mouth.
"No. You're in no shape."
"Please."
"After you see a doctor."
"I don't need a doctor."
"You're going anyway."
***
The doctor said she just needed rest and we should check back with him in two days. At my request, he wrote her a referral to a psychiatrist. She waited in a chair while I changed the sheets.
The second her head hit the pillow, she fell asleep. I called Langbow to let him know I'd made Delta and come home to Eden. I didn't tell him she'd nearly overdosed on sleeping pills and sat in cake frosting for three weeks.
She woke up twelve hours later.
"Whose dog is that?"
"She's my new military dog. Her name's Takoda."
"They let you keep her?"
"Yeah. She's mine. She'll stay with me. With us."
Eden sipped the chicken soup I made for her and fell back to sleep for another twelve hours.
When she woke in the late morning, she looked sheepish about what happened.
"You must hate me," she said. "I've made such a mess."
"Could never hate you, Eden. I love you."
"You said the selection was a month long."
