by M. K. Dawn
Even though I knew she wasn’t into him, her chatting with him didn't sit well with me. At first, I thought it was because the guy was a total douche bag, but I’ve never been very good at lying to myself. Around midnight, she gave him her number and headed towards the door through the crowded bar. As she walked by me, her hand brushed my arm, and out of nowhere I felt something that I shouldn’t have; no, not shouldn’t have, couldn’t have. It was like getting the wind knocked out of you, only worse. I was paralyzed, stuck in that moment. And the crazy thing was, I could have sworn she felt something too. She had paused ever so slightly and glanced my way.
Then she was gone, and I just sat there, wishing the drinks would somehow numb all the thoughts going through my head. But they didn't, so I focused on the frat guy with intense hatred as he hit on other girls the rest of the night. When the bar closed around two, I watched him head out the door with a very drunk red head. If it wasn’t for the fact that Alaina was leaving this realm in a few days, I would have killed him for the total lack of respect he had shown, not only for Alaina, but for this poor girl leaving with him.
After throwing a hundred on the bar, I walked out the door and contemplated following him, but there was too much at stake. Before I had a chance to reach for my phone and call the cops, a very angry group of guys ran after them. Problem solved, looked like the frat guy would get the beating he deserved after all.
The walk back to my apartment was short. By the time I got there, I was determined to erase my new-found feelings. No such luck. That night the dream I had for her was so intense I had to get up and take a cold shower.
From that night forward, it only got worse. The more I saw her, the more I felt the need to protect her. Somewhere along the way, she’d become more than the job to me.
The crazy thing is she’s not my type at all. She’s reserved and shies away from being the center of attention. I never saw her as outright gorgeous, not like the blonde, but the more I watch her and get to know her, even from afar, the more stunning she has become. The way her long wavy brown hair frames her face perfectly, bringing out her big brown eyes. The first time I saw her in that work uniform - a skimpy plaid skirt, and a midriff shirt - wow. It was enough to drive any man crazy, myself included. But her best asset by far? Her smile. A smile that I have seen a hundred times in the past month and could easily watch a million more.
“Shit.” I'm way too close to this mission. Even if I did have any kind of feelings towards her besides lust, which I don’t, she’s not mine to have. She is betrothed to another; the poor girl just doesn’t know it yet.
I rub my eyes and try to rid myself of the image of Alaina that is constantly stuck in my head. My Gods, it’s been way too long since I’ve been with a woman, which is clearly the problem. I should have ignored the no- fraternizing-while-on-assignment rule the warriors have. Hell, I’m the fucking leader, why haven’t I changed that?
I’ve tried to find things to distract myself. The first week, I spent every night glued to the TV catching up on my favorite shows. The second week, was spent bored out of my mind with the rest of the shit on TV. I mean, really, what kind of person goes on TV to meet the love of their life while said person is dating other people?
After a week of pure mental torture, I decided going to a bar would be more entertaining. Bad idea. After the second night, I was on the verge of losing my shit. All the women with their tight clothing, and over-sexualized dance moves, were enough to break any man. But it wasn’t those women that I wanted. Every one of them made me think of Alaina. It was absurd.
Crazy drunk girl on the bar, Alaina would look hot doing that. Short red mini dress, Alaina could rock that. Girl standing between my legs rubbing her hand up my thigh, Alaina’s hands would feel amazing doing that. If I was smart, I would have spent one night with a hot blonde, releasing the built-up tension, while Alaina slept safe and sound in the confines of her little school. I had plenty of opportunities, but damn my honor, and damn that girl. Both had gotten in the way every time. After all, I was bred to be a good warrior, which means following the laws passed down by each generation, whether I like them or not. Those laws are clear: no fraternizing while on a mission, and no fraternizing with the royal.
Time to get my head back in the game. This is no time to think about getting laid anyway. It’s only a matter of time before Lord Wright sends someone for her, and then shit’s really going to hit the fan. No one knows for sure how he discovered Alaina’s location. My guess is we have a traitor among us, though I pray to the Gods it isn't one of my men. The warriors have been together since childhood, since before our kingdom fell.
Not that I have time to worry about that now. The mission is to get her out of the human realm, and tonight is it, or I’ll have to wait until the next full moon. If I'm not able to talk to her, if I can’t convince her of the truth about her past, about her future, and if she refuses to go with me, things are going to get ugly fast. She’s already in a great deal of danger.
I was given strict orders not to force her to cross over, but I’m growing restless in this little town and time is running out. The thought of being stuck here another month is enough to make me crazy. And if Lord Wright sends people for her tonight, I won’t be able to protect her, not like I could at home.
No, I won’t let that happen. She’s coming with me tonight, whether she likes it or not. Fuck the consequences. Eric and Henry will just have to get over it.
The clock on the car stereo says eight a.m. Per our inside informant, Alaina should be walking over to the dining hall, and then to the shrink’s office to attend her hour-long session. That means I have almost two hours before she could leave the grounds. I don’t know what I was thinking, showing up here at six-thirty a.m. Maybe I had hoped for an early morning stroll, in which she would get close enough that I could call for her. Did I think she was going to come running towards me if I called? She probably would have called the police. Then, I would really be screwed.
Pissed, hungry, and sweating my ass off, I start the car. Before taking off, I glance back at the school one more time. An overwhelming need to get out of the car and run to the front door takes over. And then I see her, staring at me through the window. Without warning, she turns around. Ignoring the feeling of loss, I start the engine, and take off towards town. A few minutes later I find myself at the little diner, just across the bar from where she works. Before I can get out of my car, the phone rings.
“Hey, everything okay?”
“I think someone was here,” Meel frets.
“Nothing to be concerned with, it was just me keeping an eye out.”
“Thank the Gods. You have to get her out of here, it’s not safe.” She hangs up.
“No shit,” I say to the silence at the other end of the line.
I head inside the diner, take my usual seat at the counter, and order a coffee and a plate of eggs. While I wait, a strange sensation works its way up the back of my neck. Someone is watching. I rush out the door and catch a glimpse of a figure just as it turns the corner, heading the opposite way from the school.
It could be nothing, but deep down I know better.
Yeah, she’s crossing over with me tonight, even if I have to tie her up and throw her over my shoulder to get her there. The thought of her tied up, and under my control, sends a wave of desire coursing through me.
I run my hands through my hair.
Gods, I’m so fucking screwed.
Chapter Three
Alaina
I arrive at Dr. Siple’s office one minute early, a new personal best. He hasn’t arrived, which is unusual, but I’m his first appointment today, so maybe he’s just running late.
I take a seat in the waiting room on the plush brown sofa, and aimlessly look around. His walls are decorated with numerous certifications and degrees. His doctoral degree is placed over his door as a reminder to all that he is smarter than you. I’m less than impressed with his therapy techniques and have made it cle
ar over the past four years that I don’t consider him a real doctor, which pisses him off. But he made it clear early on that it’s unhealthy for me to hold in my anger, and that his office is a safe place to express those angry feelings. So, I express how angry it makes me feel that I’m subjected to sitting in his office two times a week and pretend that I give a shit about his therapy. In return, he sees me as a defiant patient that he would more than happily drop if he could. But my mysterious scholarship has prevented him from doing so. In return for his lack of control over our situation, he makes my sessions as uncomfortable as possible. Sitting with him for an hour each time is enough to make me scream. The in-depth, personal, questions he asks make me nauseated. He pries into the most personal parts of my life and insists that I divulge my deepest most guarded secrets. Then he sits there and says, “I see,” as he scribbles on his note pad. Sometimes he rambles on about how my dreams are just my mind's way of dealing with so much tragedy, or some bullshit like that. I hate being here, but it’s my last session, which kind of makes me nostalgic. Go figure.
“Alaina, everything okay?” Dr. Siple says.
“Yes, everything is fine. I was just thinking about all our sessions.” I manage a half-hearted smile.
“When faced with the end, it’s common to reminisce about the beginning.” He’s always in shrink mode, even before the session starts. “Come on in and make yourself comfortable. This is exactly what I wanted to discuss with you today, though I was planning on going back a little bit further.”
That’s just great, another session about my childhood. Rolling my eyes, I follow him into his office. I plop on the couch, in the same spot where I always sit, as he goes to his desk and retrieves his notebook. The notebook that holds my deepest, darkest secrets.
“You know, I don’t feel like I need to talk about my childhood, again,” I said, as he walks towards his chair and sits down.
“I understand why you would feel that way. It’s a difficult subject.”
“Yes, it is a difficult subject. One that we have gone over hundreds of time in the past four years. I'm tired of looking at the past. There is nothing I can do about it. Whatever happened to me happened, and it’s not going to change just because you make me talk about it over, and over, and over again! I’ve moved passed it. I'm happy! I have friends, and a life, and am now about to start a new chapter.” Tears fill my eyes and my voice gets louder. “I'm done! I don’t want to look back; I'm so tired of looking back. I just want to move forward.”
In a bout of fury, I get up to storm out of his office, but pause when I notice a smile creep across his face.
“Do you find this funny?” I ask, in disbelief. I don’t like the man, but he’s never made me feel like he was mocking me.
“No, my child, I find myself in this moment tremendously proud of you.”
The remark catches me so off guard that I fall back into my seat.
“You see, in the past four years, all we have discussed is how angry you are at your past. How you wish that this never happened to you. You have pitied yourself and hated this life that you were given. Your goal was to make it all better, to make yourself feel better when all you can do is let it go. And today you have done that.” He kneels in front of me. “Alaina, I'm so very proud of you. I know we have had our differences, and at times you have blocked me out, but it has been my privilege working with you over the years. You have grown so much, and I know that you will succeed in whatever you choose to do with your life. Please always remember to keep looking forward.” Taking my face in his hands, he softly kisses me on the forehead as a father would do his daughter. It’s a gesture so sweet that it sends shock waves through my body, as if a lost memory is trying to surface. He looks in my eyes one more time and squeezes my face gently, then stands up, straightening his jacket.
Looking at the clock he says, “Guess we both have an extra forty-five minutes in our day. I'm going to get some coffee. Please remember to stop in and say goodbye before you leave.” With that he walks out the door, leaving me stunned.
I stand up and grab my stuff. “What the hell was that?”
***
I spend the rest of the morning wandering around the courtyard of the school. In all my time spent with Siple, I have never once seen him act the way he did today. Maybe it was because it was our last session, and he was feeling nostalgic too? Or maybe it was just me? All this time I spent hating him, yelling at him, and berating him with all my angry feelings, maybe he was helping me, letting me use him as my own personal punching bag, and I had hated him for it. But now, I realize, that he saved me. Without him, my anger and self-pity would have taken over, and destroyed me.
In my own eyes, I have always been the poor homeless girl with no family. But that’s not true anymore. Gina is my family, my sister, really. Dean Meel has become like a big sister, or maybe an aunt. I have other friends too, ones that I laugh with, go shopping with, hang out with. Not once has any of them treated me differently, or pushed me away, because of my past. And here I am again, pushing Gina away by not accepting her invitation to live with her. I'm still trying to be that little girl who has no one to depend on but herself. The problem is, I'm not that little girl anymore. I have people now, I'm not alone, and it’s time I start acting like it.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and text Gina. “Lunch @ mall?” She responds with a smiley face.
It’s eleven, and I have an hour to get ready. I run up to my room, strip down to my underwear, and start digging through my closet. Instead of my usual jeans and t-shirt, I find a short black mini-skirt, pair it with a black tank top, and a white and black flowing top. I pull my hair into a low ponytail and loosen it just enough that it puffs up slightly on top. Then I throw on some makeup, grab a pair of black heels, and take a look in my mirror. I look great, if I do say so myself. My phone goes off somewhere in the pile of clothes.
The text is from Gina. “Where r u?”
It’s five past twelve and I'm late. I'm never late.
I don’t bother texting her back. I grab my purse and throw my phone in it. Hanging on the wall, by the door, is my work bag, I grab that too. Chances are, we won’t make it back in time for me to change for work, so I’ll just change when we get there.
I spring down the stairs and see Gina scrolling through her phone by the front entrance. “Hey, sorry I'm late.”
She looks me up and down, and grins. “How was your session with Siple?”
“I'm cured!”
She drapes her arm around my shoulder. “Well, then I guess we need to celebrate with lots of shopping.”
“By the way, did I mention that I'm moving in with you?”
Gina squeals! “Oh, my God… we are going to have so much fun! We need shoes!”
We hop in her Mercedes, crank up the music, and head for the mall. For the first time, in a long time, I feel at peace with my life.
***
Gina pulls the Mercedes into the closest parking spot she can find, and we head towards the food court. The rest of the girls are sitting at a large table, snacking on salads or yogurt with fruit.
Gina takes a seat. “Hey, girls, what’s for lunch?”
All gossip stops and everyone stares at me.
“Gina, what did you do to her?” Samantha asks.
I tug at the hem of my skirt. “She didn't do anything to me!”
“Sweetie, she didn't mean it that way,” Laney says, trying to defuse the situation. “You look amazing! It’s just that you never get dressed up, and Gina is always trying to use you as her personal Barbie doll. Don’t get me wrong, this is a great look on you. It’s just not the Alaina we’re used to seeing.”
“I just needed a change today. I had my last session with Siple and, I don’t know, I feel different, alive and freer than I ever have.”
“Girl, not having to see Siple again will do that to you,” Mandy says.
We all laugh, each knowing that no one thinks too highly of him. I won’t tell any o
f them, except maybe Gina, what happened between Siple and me. On second thought, I don’t think Gina would even understand. Maybe I’ll keep my new-found fondness for him to myself.
“Let’s get some food so we can get to shopping. Today, our focus is on bathrooms, and maybe the kitchen if we have time.” Gina grabs me by the arm and pulls me to the nearest hamburger place.
She orders a burger with everything on it, plus a large order of fries and a diet coke. I, on the other hand, order the grilled chicken salad with light ranch dressing. Unlike Gina, every calorie I eat shows up on my waistline.
We walk back to the table, and all the girls glare at Gina’s food. “What? I have a fast metabolism. I will burn this in no time.”
“You better watch it, one day that metabolism is going to slow down,” Mandy snickers.
“That’s why I eat this shit now! One day it’s going to be all salads and fruit. Got to enjoy it while it lasts.” Gina nudges me in ribs. “Hey, Alaina.”
“Yeah?”
“You sure you don’t know the hot guy with blue eyes?”
“For the last time, no. I think I would remember someone so hot he sends you into orgasm with just one look,” I assure her. “Why do you ask?”
“Because he’s standing by the western wear store, looking our way.”
