by LJ Bradley
“How’s it going?” he asked, mostly to snap his brother out of it.
Josh kept his eyes on Catherine while he answered. “Good. Really good.”
She made a giggling sound that was completely new to him and went back to the nervous fidgeting he hadn’t seen in weeks.
Even from his vantage point Jack could feel the chemistry between them. Her fleeting eye contact and Josh’s body language left him feeling like a third wheel who’d stumbled onto a private moment he had no business watching. His stomach dropped and everything inside him tensed, but he made himself swim to the edge of the pool and climb out onto the deck.
Josh didn’t wait for him to make the introductions. He moved in and extended his hand to Catherine, holding her gaze while his fingers slid across hers. Jack didn’t know if the sudden gust of wind had been the cause or if Josh’s touch inspired the reaction, but a visible shiver ran over her.
He forced back the urge to knock his brother’s teeth down his throat, watching as they smiled and leaned in to each other. Jack heard their voices but the words were lost amid the pounding in his ears. They’d shut him out as if only the two of them existed, and it hit him then that he’d just lost a game he hadn’t even known he was playing.
He remembered the changes in Catherine after that. No more playful touches or wrestling in the pool. The hugs she used to give him died a quick, silent death. Instead of spending all her spare time with him she even talked her parents into letting her visit Josh three hours’ drive away. The loss of what could have been devastated him.
Given his reaction when Meg started digging this afternoon, Jack had to wonder if he’d ever get over it.
He pushed off the chair and wandered over to the edge of the balcony, leaning on the railing while he watched the activity below. If Catherine had been attracted to someone other than his older brother, drifting apart might not have hurt so much. He could have moved on with his life, while she became a bittersweet memory he revisited less and less often. Instead he’d had to watch her give his brother the affection he craved for himself, marry the guy and build a future with him—all while he wanted her with the same intensity he had before.
He couldn’t see the point in relationships after that. Why settle for a woman who’d never measure up to his image of perfection—not fair on her or him—or risk being hurt again the next time someone stepped over him in favor of a better option?
Jack collected his empty beer bottle and went inside, his thoughts shifting to Meg as he closed the door behind him. She had the potential to be different. He’d seen it right from the start. The way they clicked, the familiarity of just knowing her even though it had only been a couple of days. That alone should have terrified him and had him pulling away before he’d invested too much of himself.
Because if she had the potential to be different, she also had the power to ruin him.
He hadn’t discussed his situation with anybody in the twelve years since it started. There’d been nothing to gain from it, and he wouldn’t chance the details getting back to Josh or Catherine, who, as hard as it was to admit, hadn’t done anything wrong by acting on their attraction to each other.
Maybe it was time to take up Meg’s offer and talk to someone who had no connection to his life back home.
Jack grabbed his wallet and room key, figuring he’d start with an apology and see where it went from there.
Chapter Eight
Meg shut the door behind her and flung her handbag on the bed. She scanned the room and let out a deep breath. It already felt lonely and wrong coming back here on her own.
She flicked off her shoes and gazed out the double doors to the palm trees and bright blue sky beyond. Jack may have smiled and assured her nothing between them had changed, but it still bothered her knowing she’d hit a nerve. She had to keep reminding herself not to take their time together so seriously. It was supposed to be all fun and sex, not feelings and intimacy. He’d made it clear he knew the rules. Meg just had to work on embracing them herself so she could ignore this inherent need to delve beneath the surface.
She turned in the direction of the bathroom, hoping a soak in the tub would help her relax and clear her mind. While the bath filled with steaming water, she stripped off her clothes and grabbed her purple satin robe from the hook on the door, fastening the sash as she headed into the bedroom again.
There was one person in her life who could help guide her through this mess. Being late afternoon in Melbourne Ally would be finishing up last minute orders and getting ready to close for the day. Meg dug her phone from her bag and pulled up her friend’s number, picturing her moving around the shop with her dark hair in a bun and the usual flower-of-the-day decorating one side.
“Hey! You’re calling. Why are you calling me?” Ally’s tone reminded her that phone contact was supposed to be kept to a minimum. Emergencies only. She’d put the rule in place so Meg could enjoy her holiday and she could run the shop without the uptight owner breathing down her neck.
Meg tucked the phone between her chin and shoulder and piled her hair into a bundle, securing it with the clip she’d left on the dresser. “I miss you.”
“Uh huh. What’s really going on?”
Ally had always been able to read her well, even with barely any information to go on. Meg let out a laughing breath that turned into a sigh. “Man trouble, or more to the point me trouble.”
“You mean the hot guy you texted me about? It’s a casual thing so no big deal, right?”
Technically correct, but why did it feel so wrong hearing Ally wrap up her time with Jack in such a clinical way? Meg wanted to come to his defense and convince her it was more complicated than that, but it wouldn’t be the truth and she’d only end up hurting herself. “We had a date this afternoon that ended kind of awkward. Now he’s spending some time on his own.”
A sigh sounded in her ear. There was an edge of laughter to it but she could still sense her friend’s frustration. “Some time on his own? Megsy, do you understand the friends with benefits thing? The idea is that you only get together to fu—”
“Yes, I know! It was my suggestion to keep it simple in the first place.” Not her preferred option, but sometimes you had to be a little flexible to get what you wanted.
“So, why are you with him all the time? If you don’t take a break from the guy, you’ll get attached, he’ll wave goodbye at the end, and I’ll have to hunt him down for hurting you.”
“You’re right. I know.” Meg smiled faintly and wandered into the bathroom to shut off the water. All good points and fine in theory, but Ally hadn’t seen the guy. If she knew the temptation Meg had been dealing with on a daily basis, it wouldn’t be so hard for her to understand her dilemma.
A knock sounded at the door, a blessing since the conversation seemed to be turning into more of a lecture. “Someone’s at the door,” she said. “I’ve gotta go, but thanks for the pep talk.”
“Okay, okay.” The resignation in Ally’s voice suggested she knew Meg would end up ignoring every word of advice, and it would be up to her to pick up the pieces of her shattered, pathetic existence. “Please, at least try to focus on having fun. Fun without feelings. Love you.”
“I will. Love you, too.” Fun without feelings. Nice concept. She’d have to wrestle back control of her own body before that ever happened. Not an easy task since Jack only had to look at her to send her senses into a tailspin.
Meg ended the call and slid her phone onto the vanity. She hadn’t ordered room service and the cleaning crew had been through hours ago. Only one person could be standing out there in the hall. Her heart pounded like a mad thing as she padded from the bathroom to the entryway.
“Who is it?” she called.
“A groveling idiot.”
Her stomach flipped at the sound of his voice. His response made her smile, and she braced herself as she opened the door.
Now they were standing face to face, everything Ally had just told her flew fr
om her mind, exactly as they’d both known it would. The sight of him, the pull to touch him and be near him, brought such an instant feeling of happiness she couldn’t imagine denying herself the pleasure of being with him for any reason—even if it only lasted a few more days.
Jack’s gaze dropped to take in the view of her bare legs and painted toenails. He lingered on the swell of her breasts on the way back up, making her wonder if he’d figured out she was naked under there. She had to force herself to stand still beneath his scrutiny when she really wanted to grip his tank top and drag him into the room with her.
His eyes rose to meet hers again, filled with the kind of heat that encouraged a rush of awareness in her. She smiled uncertainly and waited, unsure what to do or say. He still wore the same clothes he’d had on earlier, but he looked rougher around the edges now, as if his time alone hadn’t exactly been a positive experience.
“You’re back,” she said.
“I came to apologize.”
Meg moved away from the open door and walked into the room, assuming he’d take the hint and come inside. She turned to find he’d barely stepped over the threshold. Her gaze narrowed as she looked him over, caught up in the swirl of emotion in his eyes, the tension in his features. The urge came over her to wrap her arms around him and offer comfort she didn’t even know if he needed.
“I was just about to take a bath,” she said.
“No problem.” He shut the door and moved a couple steps closer. “I’ll be quick.”
Her attention lowered to the sensual lips she loved kissing, the roughened jaw she liked to rub her cheek against. She tilted her head in the direction of the bathroom. “I was thinking maybe you could join me.”
Silence hovered between them, stretching on until she thought he must have been trying to work out the best way to turn her down. Then she looked in his eyes and saw the playful glimmer there. “All right,” he said. “I guess I have nothing better to do.”
Meg held back a laugh and stalked toward him. She went to grab his hand and pull him into the bathroom with her, but he got a hold of her first and slid his arms around her waist. He drew her into a tight, all-encompassing hug that went on and on, chasing away her humor and pulling her brows into a frown.
She clung to him, breathing him in, pressing close, feeling his heart thump against her chest. She had no idea what was going on but she hoped he’d trust her enough to explain it to her.
Meg followed the path Jack’s fingertips made as they trailed across her pale, freckled skin. The swirling motion mesmerized her, his touch erasing the last of the tension between them. He sat behind her with his arms and legs framing her body, his chest supporting her back much like he had last night at the beach.
She traced a scar on his knee. Found another on his shin. Meg wondered at the stories behind them, then realized how little she knew about him. It seemed strange to feel so comfortable around a man who was essentially still a stranger.
“Sorry about before,” Jack said, his voice the first to break the lengthy silence. “I know it probably doesn’t feel like it, but it had nothing to do with you.”
Meg rested her head against his shoulder, watching a drop of water clinging stubbornly to the tap. “It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have pried like that.”
“Wanting to get to know someone and prying aren’t the same thing.”
She didn’t know if that was an invitation to throw more questions his way or an admission that her curiosity had been a natural thing. Either way she wasn’t in a hurry to dive into the discussion again, not when they were getting along so well. His fingers traced wide circles on her upper thigh, his touch so slow and casual his next words took her by surprise.
“Her name’s Catherine.”
A jolt zipped through her, and the contradiction between her words and her actions almost made her smile. Maybe it mattered a little bit more than she’d claimed. The silent laugh that shuddered against her back let her know her reaction hadn’t gone unnoticed.
Jack clasped her chin and turned her head to press his smiling mouth to hers. She made a sound of protest that soon slipped into a moan of pleasure. The kiss turned leisurely and deep, so thorough she could barely remember what they’d been talking about before his mouth touched hers.
When he pulled away Meg stared up at him wordlessly. He let out a huff of amusement and kissed the tip of her nose. She blinked and drew a breath, her dazed eyes searching his while she waited for him to come into focus again. “You were telling me about Catherine.”
Jack hummed his agreement and reached for the facecloth. He lathered it up and slid it over her arms and shoulders.
“How did you know her?”
He swirled soapy circles over her collarbone, dipping beneath the water to caress her breasts. The texture of the cloth against her already sensitive nipples made her breath catch, yet his touch was so nonchalant if his erection hadn’t been pressed against her lower back, she would have assumed it had no impact on him.
“We met during the last year of high school. She transferred from another state.”
That long ago? How could a teenage crush still be playing on his mind all these years later? “Was she pretty?”
“Beautiful,” he said without a second’s thought. “Slim, blonde, blue-eyed, sweet, kind—”
“Okay, got it.” When it came to meeting men, Meg had never been one to torture herself with thoughts of the women who’d come before her. She had no idea why she’d taken up the pastime now.
Jack nuzzled her jaw. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”
The amusement in his voice made her wonder if he’d been pushing for that reaction all along but she couldn’t stay mad at him while her skin prickled with goosebumps. “Maybe you should stop teasing me and get on with the story.”
His low laugh beside her ear made her smile. He rubbed her stomach, taking the time to cover every inch of skin while he explained his connection to this mysterious girl.
“I met her on her third day at school,” he said. “She was shy but it didn’t take her long to warm up. She started hanging out at my place while my parents were working, for homework at first but then because we just enjoyed each other’s company. Josh was away at university so we spent a lot of time alone. After a month or so she was over every day."
“You had a crush on her.”
“Not exactly.” He took a beat too long to elaborate. “I love… loved her.”
His admission stung, not because he’d had feelings for a woman before she came along, but because he sounded so unsure about using past or present tense. He’d told her he didn’t have a girlfriend and she’d believed him. Meg didn’t know what to make of his comment now so she chose the wiser option of saying nothing.
He went on to explain their friendship in greater detail, leading her to wonder if they’d shared a mutual attraction or if Catherine had been oblivious to his feelings. She wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be the latter.
When he described his brother showing up for the first time, Meg sensed what was coming next. She held her breath and waited. A moment later his hand stilled against her stomach and he described the immediate attraction between Josh and Catherine.
A heavy feeling settled over her and she let out a breath, wondering what kind of damage it had done to his relationship with his brother. The only positive she could take from the situation was that it had happened years ago. With the fickle nature of teenage romances, it couldn’t have lasted more than a few months. “How long were they together?”
Jack dropped the facecloth and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her cheek and said, “They still are.”
A shocked sound lodged in her throat. Meg was sure her heart stopped beating before it kicked in again. That was the vow-renewal ceremony he’d witnessed last week—his first love with his older brother? She slid her palms up and down his thighs, trying to offer comfort with her touch. The right words wouldn’t come so she gave up a
nd said exactly what was on her mind. “Jack, I can’t even put into words how much that sucks.”
“Yep.”
She burrowed deeper into his arms, letting it all sink in. His reluctance to get involved in long-term relationships made more sense now. He couldn’t give all his focus to one woman when he hadn’t stopped wanting another. But how could he ever feel fulfilled skipping from one person to the next without ever getting to know anyone on a deeper level? On the outside, he had the best of both worlds; company when he wanted it, freedom when he needed space. What was it doing to him on the inside?
“Are you happy?”
“Now?” he asked.
She nodded, keeping her attention on her fingertips as they swirled over his bent knee.
“I am.”
His response would have thrilled her if she hadn’t been so focused on the answer to her next question. Meg turned her head and sent him a fleeting look. “And in general?”
He took his time thinking it over, then finally replied with two quiet words. “Not particularly.”
Her head settled back on his chest and she sighed softly enough that he wouldn’t be able to hear it. Jack didn’t need her to fix him. It wasn’t her job to help him through the mess of emotions he must have to deal with every time he saw Catherine with his brother. Meg cared too much about him already though, and despite their casual arrangement she couldn’t stop herself from reaching out. “You’re still in love her.”
More of a statement than a question. One person couldn’t remain hung up on another for all those years unless it was love or the longest running infatuation that ever existed. She was either a glutton for punishment or a soft-hearted fool for encouraging him to go into detail about his feelings for another woman.
