“But don’t you want to…?” I’m not ready to stop. I want to feel him inside me. I need to feel that connection. I pull at his belt buckle and tug his belt off. When I reach for his zipper, Calder clasps my hand, his brow furrowed. “We’re talking.”
I’m not ready to talk and he’s entirely too persuasive when we’re in bed together. “Are you hungry? We can make a quick dinner.”
“Just ate. Best damn meal every single time.”
My face flames as he steps back from my hold and unzips his pants, his expression suddenly serious. “Take everything off and get in bed.”
Tense with desire and anxious anticipation, I ignore the fluttering in my stomach and strip, then slide under the covers. Calder joins me, but when I try to wrap my arms around him, he quickly turns me around and tucks my body back against his hard chest. “Talking,” he says sternly.
Lacing his fingers with mine, he folds our hands between my breasts, then presses his lips to the spot behind my ear. “I’m sorry I left. It was hard enough having my entire family ripped away from me, and I refuse to have another one shoved onto me in its place just because we share the same blood. You ground me, Cass. Without you, I’d have lost my shit when I learned about Phillip. Instead, I got to focus on us. On loving you and the future we’ll build together with little Blakes running around driving us crazy like I did my parents.” He chuckles and nuzzles my neck.
Oh, Calder... I blink the worried tears away and keep my tone light. “Can you imagine the kind of trouble our kids will get into with Sebastian and Talia’s? It’s a good thing Blakes are thick as thieves. I have a feeling they’ll need to back each other up.” God, I want this tight knit family surrounding mine with love and protection, but there’s no way I’m bringing up my fertility stuff right now. That can wait until next week, so I kiss his knuckles and share the other issue bothering me.
“Everyone is in a good place with their careers. You and Sebastian have BLACK Security, you’ve got your volunteer time with Gil and the MMA group. Talia’s now working with you, while continuing to write books, and I heard her on the phone the other day consulting with her old boss on a case he’s investigating.”
“She’s such an overachiever.”
I snort at his comment and sigh. “I’m serious. I just need to figure this out. Writing books about the city and the jobs Talia gives me will be side projects, but I want to take fashion photos again. Photography is my passion. It’s in my blood. I just need to figure out how to do that and not travel twenty-four/seven. I love New York. I don’t want to constantly be leaving it or you for work.”
“I’m glad I’m second on that list.”
I look at him over my shoulder. “You know what I mean.”
“I know that I should always be first on your list,” he says with a scowl. “And I also know that it’s going to work out.”
“How do you know that?” I wish I had his confidence. Mine’s been rattled more than a few times lately.
Calder meets my gaze. “You were going to rent a place for a year without knowing exactly how it would work. If that’s not ballsy, I don’t know what is.”
Even though I had just enough money in the bank to give myself twelve months to make it work, it was pretty freaking ballsy. “When you put it that way, I sound all kinds of crazy. Though I did just recently add this new app to my phone that will alert me about any social media posts on all my past clients as well as some big time bloggers in the industry. Between those two groups, hopefully I’ll be able to start building leads for my business.”
“Which will be?”
I finally voice a concept that has only existed in my head. “I built my business one client at a time to become a top fashion photographer, but I remember those early days starting off with just my one camera and gut instincts. So I want to do something that takes me back to my roots…or some variation of that.” Scrunching my nose, I continue, “It doesn’t sound like a lot, but hopefully I can turn my very loose concept into a feasible business plan.”
“Other than traveling less, is there anything you did before that you would do differently now with this new business you want to start?”
I smile that he seems genuinely interested and feel less worried sharing a bit of my fears. “Well, one thing I realized is that I shouldn’t have kept Raven anonymous. I should have released my New York City book under the Raven name with my picture in the bio and banked on her popularity to help boost sales. Instead, I released under my real name with no connection to Raven, and that made it harder for my book to be noticed. Lesson learned. Now that it’s been a while since Raven has worked, I know it’ll be a bit tougher climb back to the top when it comes to restarting my business, but I’m determined.”
He taps my nose, then slides his fingers under my chin as he steals a kiss. “My fiancée is a smart, sexy, resourceful woman. I have no doubt she will make it work. All of it.”
When I try to face him, Calder throws his leg over mine and tightens his arms around me. “Nuh..uh. Not so fast. To be continued next week.”
I can clearly feel his erection nudging my butt cheek, but he’s not releasing me, so I frown. “Enough joking.”
“I’m not,” he says, his expression resolute. “I’m waiting for the wedding date announcement.”
When I start to giggle, then cackle uncontrollably, Calder frowns. “You don’t think I can do it?”
I inch back against his hard cock and snicker when he lets out an involuntary groan. “Nope. I really don’t think you can, Mr. Sexy-Stick.”
“My resolve is rock solid.” He releases my hand and runs his fingertips lightly along the edge of my breast then down toward my nipple, his movements slow and sensual. “And I can’t wait to unlock all your secrets.”
I tense at his casual comment, then realize he’s referring to our sex life, but I hold onto that tension to keep from reacting to his touch. The closer his fingers get to my nipple, the harder it gets not to respond. Just before he connects and sends my heart racing all over again, I grasp his hand. “I’m certainly not giving you the key, Master Puzzler. No sex, no touching.”
“I never said anything about no touching. Your skin is so soft. You know I like to fall asleep holding you.”
I hide a secret smile. I can count on one hand the number of times he hasn’t fallen asleep cupping my breast. Rolling out of his hold and onto my side to face him, I toss my long hair over my shoulder and rest my head on my pillow as I meet his frustrated gaze in the darkness. “If you’re going to insist on this ridiculous celibacy, then you’ll have to go cold turkey. Those are my terms.”
“But—”
“Nuh…uh. Next week, handsome.”
He frowns, then his expression settles. “How about a concession for tonight considering I rocked your world?”
I bite my lip, feeling a tad guilty, but then again, it’s not my fault he decided on waiting until next week.
“Fine,” I say and lift his hand.
Calder flashes a grin briefly until I set his palm on the curve of my hip. “There,” I say, patting the back of his hand. “You’re holding onto me. Night, night, Navy.”
While his eyes glitter with retribution in the darkness, I just go about my business fluffing my pillow. Exhaling, I close my eyes, then yelp when I’m jerked forward until my head lands on his pillow, my breasts are smashed against his hard chest, and my fiancé’s hand is firmly clamped on my bare ass.
“That’s much better,” he says in a lion’s purr of satisfaction.
Two can play at this game. I slide my leg between his and pull myself fully against his erection. It’s sweet torture to feel his heat and hard body so close, but I squirm against him and act like I’m just getting comfortable. I gasp when Calder clamps his teeth on that sweet spot between my neck and shoulder, then inwardly shudder with want as he rumbles his dominance in my ear, “Enough, Cassandra!” Kissing my forehead, he grabs my ass once more in an even more possessive hold, his tone rough and hus
ky. “Night, angel.”
“Night,” I grudgingly mumble.
Unlike Calder, I can’t fall asleep right away. I lay there pressed against his warmth, feeling safe, protected, and very much wanted. Despite his declaration of abstinence, my heart aches with so much love for this man—maybe even a little more because of it. Not that I would ever tell him that. I inhale his masculine scent and press a kiss to his jaw, then snuggle even closer and whisper over and over in my head, “It’ll all be okay,” until Calder’s rhythmic breathing lulls me to sleep.
Chapter Seven
Cass
“Morning, sleepy head.” Calder leans over and kisses me awake.
“Not yet,” I mumble sleepily and start to shoo him away, then come fully awake when his cologne wafts over me and I remember what I missed out on last night. Just as I try to wrap my arms around his neck and convince him what a bad idea his abstinence is, he straightens and sets my phone on the nightstand.
“I just wanted to say goodbye and leave you your phone.”
I’m sad that he’s already showered and dressed, so I watch him button his black suit jacket with a mixture of admiration and regret. “You look especially handsome this morning.”
“Apparently abstinence really does make the heart grow fonder,” he says with a smug smile as he straightens his black tie.
And far too chipper for someone who went to bed without last night. “That’s absence by the way.” Leaning on my elbow, I brush my bedhead hair back. “Why such a formal suit today? Are you meeting with a special client?”
“I have a full day ahead. Lots of meetings, so I’ll be heading to Alana’s event straight from work.”
He’s dressing up for it? Grrrrr. As annoyed as I am, I keep my expression carefully composed and shrug. “Oh, okay. See you tonight then.”
“Yep, the event starts at seven.” He turns and heads for the doorway. “I’ll send you all the details.”
“Wait!” I quickly sit up and walk forward on my knees. “I’m not goin—” Something sharp jabs into my knee. Wincing, I glance down to a familiar oversized book digging into my skin. Colored by Design. My gaze jerks to the doorway. “Where did this come from?”
Calder turns in the doorway. “The package was sitting on the front porch when I went out to check the mail we missed getting last night.” He grins and glances down at the book. “Going old school with your photography ideas, huh? Retro is always hot. Got to go. See you at the club, angel. Just give them your name at the door.”
I’m too shocked by the book stabbing into my knee to remind him that I’m not going.
Tucking my legs underneath me, I stare at the book and bite my lip. If only I had known that leaving me her confession letter was Celeste’s way of staying tied to her old life, I never would have gone to that library. Now what do I do with this Pandora’s box?
Why is she insisting on this mode of communication? It made sense when I was in her house and the phone she gave me could have been bugged by Phillip. “I’m not opening it, Celeste,” I mutter. “I am not playing into your games.”
As if in response to my adamant statement, a text comes through on my phone. I’m almost afraid to look, but at least then I can tell Celeste that sending me the book won’t change a thing. I grab my phone to text her just that, but the message is from Beth.
I’m here at the estate doing some stuff for my father. The house feels so empty. Why is this massive sense of loss hitting me now instead of when I attended my mom’s funeral? Or Celeste’s? I miss my sister and mom. It’s like a hole is growing in my chest and I don’t know how to make it stop. Thanks for offering to listen. I appreciate your friendship so much.
Poor Beth. I close my eyes and tap my phone against my forehead several times. I’m only smarter in hindsight if other people would stop depending on me. Ugh, I have to know what Celeste needs.
With my sense of honor and responsibility kicking me in the gut, I set my phone down and pull the book close, then open it to the same place Celeste had left me her confession letter last year. This time, a key joins the memory stick that slides out from the return card pouch in the back of the book. I quickly retrieve my laptop, slip the encrypted memory stick in the USB slot, then type my name as the password.
Dear Cass,
* * *
I need your help to keep a roof over my head. I planned carefully for my escape from my life, but I didn’t plan on having health problems, which have left me with insane bills, some of which are already past due. I stockpiled an emergency fund in the wine cellar at the Carver Estate. The wine rack closest to the door has a raised bottom in the last drawer. The money is hidden underneath it. For obvious reasons, I can’t get to the cash myself. I need you to get it and bring it to the address I’ve listed at the bottom of this letter. If I don’t pay my rent by noon tomorrow, I’ll be evicted. I’m pretty sure you don’t want me to show up at your door.
No shit! I shudder as the memory of my nightmare flits through my mind. Shrugging it off, I continue reading.
These instructions must be followed exactly. When you come tomorrow, if I’m not there, you can just let yourself in the house, put the money and key in the lockbox on the table, then turn the bottom lock on the doorknob on your way out. You’ve kept my secret, so I trust you’ll continue to do so, but the only way I can guarantee that no one will ever learn where I live is if you come alone. If you do this for me, I should be okay, and I promise to never contact you again. Destroy this letter once you’ve memorized the address and keep the book since you were so attached to it in high school. Honestly, it’s not like anyone’s going to miss that old relic.
* * *
Celeste
Giving up the book means she knows she won’t have an untraceable way to communicate with me after this. Which means she plans to keep her word. I glance at the address, then look up the city name, Beacon. It’s some small town outside of New York. I can’t believe she’s been less than two hours away this whole time. But why didn’t Celeste mention her baby? Is her child all right? Oh God, did something go wrong and she lost the baby because she was so sick? I feel horrible that I was just going to blow her off. Still, the part of me that has been burned by Celeste in the past pushes me to read over her letter again with a skeptical eye.
After I scan the letter once more, I take a deep breath and wonder what to do. Not once did Celeste plead for my help. She told me what she needed and expected it to be done. She didn’t even thank me at the end. She made sure to play on my emotions about her health and dire financial straits, but what if she’s not really sick?
What if she’s just been living the high life, blowing through all her money, and now she’s using me to get more from her family? But if she’s telling the truth…how in the hell am I supposed to just waltz into the Carver’s house and retrieve that money?
While my conscience wars with my own sense of self-preservation, it occurs to me that there might be a way to confirm Celeste’s poor health. Well, the state of her health last year before she disappeared. Once I know if that part of her story is true, then I’ll decide what to do next.
Grabbing my phone, I text Beth.
I’m so sorry, Beth. I’m sure it’s hard being there alone. How about we eat lunch together again? I can bring whatever you’d like. It’ll be nice to visit the estate as ME for once.
Awww, you’re the best Cass! Father’s out of town on business, so we’ll have the place to ourselves. Well…and the staff. I’ve tried to convince him to sell it and move into the city, but he prefers things the way they are. Does noon work for you? Don’t worry about bringing food, I’ll order Vicci’s in. I know it’s your favorite.
Thanks. I’ll see you then.
Thank you for being such an awesome friend. Truly.
Hopping out of bed, I head for the shower. Before I go see Beth, I really need answers about her sister.
Chapter Eight
Calder
I really dislike back-to-back meetin
gs. I’d rather be out in the field right now. So I find myself wandering into Bash’s office while I wait for the next meeting to start, because sometimes a little levity makes the whole day better.
“What are you doing?” Bash drills me after he hangs up from his call.
Sliding my hands from my pants’ pockets, I pull my attention from the long wall in his office and meet his blue gaze. “I had a few minutes before my next meeting, so I’m taking mental measurements. For when I win the bet.”
He doesn’t miss a beat as he picks up a stack of papers. “You haven’t even set a date yet.”
“We’re going to next week. Then this space…” I spread my arms. “It’ll be all mine.”
“If you think for one minute that she’ll make it through the actual wedding without saying the word traditional…” He snorts his confidence. “You really are deluded, Cald.”
“I can pretty much guarantee it.” I nod even as my balls still ache from last night’s sexual sabbatical, but I’m damned determined to keep up my end of this abstinence deal. “So far nothing she’s done comes even close to traditional. Hell, you wouldn’t believe what it took to get her to commit to setting a date next week.”
“I’ll pass on the details,” he mutters in a droll tone, then nods toward the door that connects his office to Talia’s. “You planning on becoming Talia’s officemate too?”
“Sure, why not?” I shrug, enjoying the look of annoyance spreading across his face. Just a bit of payback for yesterday. “Talia and I haven’t worked together on a case. It might be fun to mix things up a bit.”
Giving me a death glare, he snaps open the folder he’d picked up and pulls a paper out. “Speaking of schedules, here’s yours for next week.”
When I look down at the cases, I scowl. “What fresh hell is this? I’m with Hemming all fucking week. Yesterday’s medical shit and now this? What happened to equal partners?”
Blood Rose Page 7
