by Leah Fleming
I was dismissed to get on with the other business in hand, knowing it was time to let those precious gloves go: my grandmother’s gift that my mother, Alice, had never gotten to hold. She would never have made gloves as fine as these, for Seekers did not hold with fancy trappings as I know only too well. I had clung onto them for so long as a link to my old life in England. They must fetch a fair price and I wanted no trickster cheating me of their full value. I knew there was only one shop where there would be honest advice.
‘Joy, ma Cherie! Two visits in one week, c’est bon.’ Sabine kissed me on the cheek in greeting but then she saw the look on my face. ‘What is wrong? Come sit down . . . Jerome, fetch some wine.’
Out poured all that had happened after our last visit, the accident, Captain Thane, the medicine man and even Titus. I’m not sure my friend understood everything but Jerome assured me that the former ship’s surgeon, Doctor Wallace, was a reputable physician who had saved many lives. The treatment he was undertaking was used even in France.
‘Nevertheless it will cost and I have only these gloves to sell towards the fee.’ I pulled out the linen bag containing them, giving a garbled history of how they came into my possession.
Sabine fingered them with a loving touch. ‘Such beautiful work of the finest quality and very old. Look at the gold lace, the little pearls. Your family must be of great wealth to own these. You can’t sell them.’
‘I must, I have a debt to honour. George was in my charge. Please, how much will I get for them?’
Jerome also examined them, shaking his head. ‘I am not sure there is a call for such fancy work, the cuffs are of a bygone fashion but Mr Coats, the haberdasher would price them better than I can, my dear.’
‘Will you take them to him on my behalf and get the best price you can? I must get back to George in case he wakes. He must know I am there.’
Sabine hugged me. ‘Hurry along, you must do what is best for the boy. The gauntlets will be safe with us and you are welcome to stay here. Come and eat with us tonight. You look as if a good meal is a stranger to your stomach. Come back later and let us put some colour back in those white cheeks.’
How could my mind rest, wondering how the boy would fare in the hands of the surgeon? To cut a hole in a skull with instruments I could only imagine made me shiver. I prayed for the surgeon’s guiding hand not to tremble at this task. I was received by a servant into a lower room and Tamar was there staring listlessly at the door when I entered. I wished I could break down the invisible wall she had built around her.
‘How goes it up stairs?’ I asked her. She shrugged her shoulders. ‘What’s wrong, Friend Tamar?’ I added gently. ‘Are you afraid of someone?’
She shook her head, all the while looking to the ceiling not at me. We could hear movements overhead. What if the little boy screamed in fear? He must still be asleep. The pain would come when he awoke from the surgery, I feared. But I had the medicine man’s herbs in a safe place to dose him should the need arise.
‘Where is your brother?’ I continued but she ignored me and I wanted to shake her out of this dreamlike state. Now was not the time to press further the mystery that was Tamar Black, if indeed that was her real name. Thus we sat it seemed for hours before Doctor Wallace came down wiping his hands on a bloody apron. ‘The boy lives, the blood and venom is released. Now it is up to his own healing powers to restore the wound. The boy must not be moved until we are sure it is healing.’
‘We thank thee,’ I croaked.
‘Nay, young lady, thank the man who had the sense to bring him to my door before it was too late. Come back on the morrow.’
Once again Titus must take the credit for my own initiative, but if George lived it was a small price to pay. There was no sign of him in the waiting room or outside, I noticed. Was he not bothered about the outcome? Why should I sit with this mute woman when I had good friends waiting only a few streets away? Their cheery company would take my mind off the coming hours of danger. I left Tamar to stew in her own juice, which was not good Friend behaviour and a poor example of my faith; but I had my own selfish need of comfort that day.
Through the open door of the Boyers’ shop I could smell such rich aromas and when Jerome showed me upstairs to their living quarters my mouth watered at the sights before me. The table was set just as it was once in Scarperton Hall. There were fine pewter dishes and linen napkins, glasses of such delicate crystal, a fire in the grate for the nights were still chilly. In the panelled room overlooking the paved street below, candles flickered over the walls. It was such a relief to be among friends to whom I could relate all that had happened. Henri, Jerome’s father, came from his room to greet me. He looked frailer and leant heavily on his stick. We talked ourselves hoarse about the sea voyage and the sad times we endured. We lifted a glass to Ellinor and to baby Paul.
Soon the rich red wine went to my head so I could hardly stand with fatigue when it was time to leave and return to my lodgings. They begged me to stay with them. ‘You mustn’t walk alone in the dark streets. They are not safe these days for a woman so we have taken the liberty to find you an escort,’ Sabine smiled at Jerome and I knew there was mischief afoot. When I reached the bottom of the stairs I saw through the window the outline of a soldier in uniform waiting like a sentry at his post.
‘How is the boy?’ were Captain Thane’s first words to put me at my ease. It was a safe topic of discussion for us, knowing I must not be accused of familiarity with a militia man however kind he had been. In the distance we could hear shouting and drunkards revelling with oaths and curses ringing in the air. Captain Thane took me right to the door of the lodgings. He seemed reluctant to leave me there. ‘May I see you before you leave? I must know how the boy fares,’ he asked with such a look of concern on his face. How could I refuse this kind inquiry?
‘I will leave a message at the Frenchman’s shop. I have business with them. I must go in now but many thanks . . .’ The door was opened and Friend Betsy Barnes stared down the street in disapproval at the soldier’s presence. I tried to explain how the Captain had helped us save George’s life but she shook her head. ‘It is not good for a maid to consort with an unbeliever, whatever the reason.’ I knew this would not be the last comment on my escort but nodded politely and made my way to the chamber set aside for Tamar and me.
She was not asleep but lay, eyes open, staring up at the ceiling, but I received no greeting. We were all woken in the night by a crashing noise in the room below. Someone was stumbling about and shouting. Wrapping my shawl around my shift I crept down to investigate to find Will Barnes mopping Titus’s bloody brow.
‘He’s been attacked by villains and robbed.’
His cheek was bruised and his lip burst as if he had been in a fight but I also smelled strong Jamaican spirit on his breath and gave our host a look of disbelief.
‘What was stolen? Why out so late? Have you been to see the child? Is he worse?’ I wanted to shake him.
‘I was on my way when I was waylaid. They sprang on me from behind. I had no chance to defend myself. They took my purse. The fee I was about to give the doctor, most of it is gone.’
‘What do you mean . . . all the collection money?’ How could I believe this story? I recalled the roistering drunks that Thane and I heard. Had he spent the proceeds or gambled it away? ‘Your breath stinks of devil’s brew,’ I snapped, offering no sympathy.
‘They knocked me to the ground and someone gave me spirit to restore my senses. It happened so quickly.’
‘Has all our money gone?’
‘Not everything. Tamar has kept some aside for expenses as was agreed.’
‘Then we will have to use that. How could you be so careless to carry it on your person in darkness?’
‘Nay, lass, don’t be harsh on brother Thomas,’ Will Barnes interrupted. ‘He’s been sorely treated. Don’t fret about the shortfall, the Friends here can help with that. It is the least we can do. This city is becoming unruly. We ar
e glad the militia are in their fortress. Get thee both to bed. It has been a right bad night.’
I could not sleep for the fury burning in my chest. Titus was lying but he had a plausible answer for everything. I guessed he had been down the rough streets filling his belly with rum, spending the surgeon’s fee. Now he had a cock-and-bull story making him a victim but I had no proof of my suspicions. The old Titus had not changed his soul. He was not convinced of the Truth in my eyes but he could spout lies like sermons when he was challenged.
Tamar must know the real truth of his deceiving heart but if she would not speak, there was nothing I could do but pray that one day I would catch him unawares and shine a light on his shadowy deeds.
29
When I woke late next morning, Tamar’s bed was empty and the apothecary was gone. Betsy Barnes, our hostess, said they had left early to check on the boy before heading back to Good Hope to give their news. I was to stay on until further notice and there was no mention of the stolen money or the replacement of funds that Tamar had held on her person. Will assured me that local Friends would not see us short but I felt uneasy at this turn of events, fearing the two of them had disappeared for good.
It was with a heavy heart I retraced my steps back to the surgeon’s house but on arrival, to my surprise, their maidservant told me that Master Emsworth was stirring from his deep sleep and I could go and sit with him for a while.
At first George wasn’t aware of me, his head was bandaged and he looked so small. I held his hand and whispered. ‘It’s Joy. Can you hear me?’ I squeezed his fingers. ‘Squeeze me back if you can.’ I felt a flicker of tightness and found myself crying with relief. ‘The Lord be praised.’
George’s eyes opened and flickered in my direction. ‘Where’s Mam?’
‘Waiting for you back home but you must rest awhile longer here.’
‘Where am I?’ I saw the bewilderment in his eyes at the fine four poster bed and curtains. ‘My head hurts.’
‘The doctor will bleed thee and give a potion to soothe it.’
‘Don’t go.’
‘Of course not. When you’re a little stronger I will read us a book.’ My presence gave him the familiar face he needed. He shut his eyes and went back to sleep but I sensed in that moment that he would be restored to us almost whole. I slipped out of the chamber when he was deeply asleep and took it upon myself to go to the haberdasher’s store, the one whose fine windows were filled with fancy goods and trimmings. Had Mr Coats bought my gloves yet? I didn’t want to enter the shop and be disappointed so scurried back to the Boyers’ house to ask Jerome but the shop was closed up for the day. Suddenly I felt cast adrift among the crowded streets, feeling guilty that I had left the boy. I rushed back to the surgeon’s house, asking if I could stay with the boy until he awoke.
They gave me pen and paper to write a note of good cheer to Mary and Joseph which could be ferried up river to them. Their servant accompanied me down to the landing station fearing I might be accosted walking alone among the wharves and taverns. We lingered to find a ferryman going in that direction and then returned back to George who was still asleep. I made my way back to my lodgings, feeling restless.
I couldn’t wait to make another visit to little George, taking a book of sermons that Betsy lent me to read. They made very dull reading so I made up stories about our Lenape neighbours, the medicine man who had first helped me save his life and given me herbs to make a tea to soothe his headache. It was good to see him awake and already bored. I gave him the sleeping draught, which seemed to work.
When Doctor Wallace returned from his visits, he was pleased with his patient’s progress. ‘We left open a gap in his skull which should close up once healed,’ he told me. ‘He’s a lucky laddie to have recovered his senses so quickly but there is always risk after such a treatment. He must not exert himself in boy’s play. Two more days’ rest and he will be fit for travel, but be sure to change his dressings to protect the wound.’
I stayed to bathe George and give him his broth, waiting until he was sleeping soundly before returning to Sabine’s shop with my good news, but still the shop was shuttered and I was worried. Just as I turned to leave I saw the three of them strolling down in my direction dressed in their sober finery. Sabine was wearing a wonderful headdress with black feathers. Her elegance showed up my grubby travel clothes and stained collar.
‘We’ve been to a wedding in the German church,’ she greeted me. ‘A couple who met on Jerome’s ship have joined together.’
I told them George was recovering and that in two days’ time we would be leaving for Good Hope. ‘Did you sell my gloves?’ I asked Jerome.
‘Come inside,’ he insisted. ‘Let’s discuss this further.’
My heart sank, sensing his hesitancy. When we were settled upstairs supping a rich dark brew which they called coffee, he brought out my gloves still in their bag.
‘I have shown them to Thomas Coats and we both agreed a price but we also agreed they should not be sold by you, not to be ripped apart and stripped of valuables. They belong to you, so we did a little deal between ourselves under the circumstances. Here,’ he said, thrusting them back into my hand along with some silver coins. ‘This is a gift towards the surgeon’s fee.’
I was mortified. ‘I can’t accept this as well as my gloves. Keep the gloves, please.’
‘Why? They have no meaning for me but they mean everything to you. One day you will part with them, but not this time. We are glad to contribute, dear Joy. Don’t be proud. It is a gift.’
What could I say? How blessed I was to have found such friends. They had made the past few days bearable and now there was the delicate matter of Captain Thane.
‘Has there been any message for me? I blushed as I spoke.
‘Do you mean this?’ Sabine removed a packet from the mantelpiece. ‘It came first thing this morning.’
‘Merci,’ I said in their tongue. ‘The Captain wanted news of the boy. I promised to speak with him again.’
‘Of course you did.’ They were laughing at me as I went puce with shame. ‘Open it then!’
I read his note and closed it quickly. ‘He will call later this evening. I am to wait here if that is acceptable.’
It was Henri who teased me. ‘I think there could be another shipboard romance brewing.’
‘No, no, that’s not how it must be. Seekers do not engage themselves to those not of our persuasion. We are but good friends.’
‘We understand. It’s always difficult when people of different faiths find themselves attracted to each other. It can cause great conflicts. Protestant and Catholic . . . but Captain Thane is surely a Protestant?’
‘But not of our Assembly. Rules are strict. Like must join with like and it must be approved by all at the meeting. Worldly friendships are discouraged.’
‘So you should not in fact be friendly with us, then? We are Protestants but not Quakers.’
‘Oh no, that’s different. You are my true friends, but we are not joined in wedlock.’
‘Ah well, Joy, perhaps you may have to make some hard choices should the occasion arise,’ Henri added. ‘Remember what I said on board. Marry for duty and have comfortable days but lonely nights.’
‘Papa, that’s enough, the poor girl is confused. You must do what you think is right. No point in starting what you can’t finish.’
‘I’d better go then,’ I said, jumping up from the chair.
‘No, you have to stay and see this through. That young man deserves an explanation. Don’t run away, it will make matters worse for both you.’
‘I ought to go now.’
‘Why? Do you not want to see him?’ Sabine challenged me with her dark eyes.
‘No, yes, I would like to see him one more time.’
‘Then follow your heart, not your head.’
‘But it is forbidden.’
‘By whom?’
‘By the meeting. I have not received permission to look in his
direction.’
‘So are they the final authority? I thought that belonged to God and your inner conviction, or am I mistaken?’
‘Yes, but . . . oh, it is so confusing.’
‘It’s time to think for yourself, Joy. Trust the inner promptings of the heart and gut. They never lie.’
There was no fight left in me after this discussion so I sank back into the chair and waited for the knock on the door.
When I look back on that far-off evening I sense that was when my great disobedience was born, in the candlelight of their upper room as I sat opposite the young officer with his tawny hair and bright blue eyes. We made polite conversation under the watchful eye of the Boyers, revisiting the perils of our ship’s voyage. I gave a full report on my little charge. He offered to escort us back to Good Hope, but I said that was unnecessary. I explained about the apothecary losing our collection, but I had no proof of any wrongdoing, only my inner conviction, so I made no direct charge against them.
We relaxed by the fireside as Jordan told us about his family in Northumberland. He was the youngest son of landowners, trained from an early age for military service. He hoped one day to settle and buy his own land here. I told him my strange history and how we had suffered for being Dissenters. ‘The short time I lived with my grandfather Moorside in Scarperton, I could not make that life my own and ran away. In Leeds I found a good position and that’s where I met Ellinor Holt. We had such plans and dreams, but alas . . .’
Jerome smiled sadly, shaking his head. ‘Nothing is certain, for the road of life is full of twists and turns. We did not expect to lose our home, my mother and our business in Nantes, flee to Leyden and find ourselves beginning again, and then lose our precious baby.’ He sighed. ‘But we all must make the best of what we’ve got now, especially as there is new life to come.’ He turned to Sabine.
‘There’s a child on the way soon, I hope,’ she confirmed.
‘That is the best news of all,’ I said, reaching out my hand to hers.
The evening passed quickly and it was time to return to the Friends’ house. The opportunity to be alone with Jordan was slipping away to just a short walk to another street. How we spun out that journey with short pauses and lingering looks that meant more to me than any open professions of love. Under a torch-lit corner we stared at each other, unsure how to proceed. ‘I have to go now or there will be talk,’ I said.
