by Leah Fleming
‘We hold no truck with militia training,’ Jacob explained. ‘Guns, we use for hunting in season. What need have we for stakes around our town? Our neighbours are peaceful. There’s never been trouble between us nor do I expect any. We did not come here to be soldiers or take up arms. God alone is our Protector.’
‘But the men spend all day in their fields,’ I said. ‘What if we are caught unaware, just women and children alone, what then?’ I had not the first idea how to defend the family.
‘It won’t come to that,’ he snapped back, surprised at my question. ‘There are always men around by the river, in the workshops and tannery.’
‘But surely we need a plan, if only to put people at their ease?’ I was not convinced by his argument. Jacob’s eyebrows lowered and he gave me the stare given to a naughty child.
‘She’s right, tha’knows,’ said Mary. ‘I might not know how to use a firearm but I would wield an axe if them savages came near my bairns.’
Suddenly the atmosphere chilled in the keeping room as Mary and I stared at each other in dismay.
‘It was my uncle who did the shooting at Windebank,’ I added. ‘So I would like to know if I can pot a jackrabbit or a coon. We could practise our aim on them. Where’s the harm in that?’
‘Joy, you don’t understand how it goes against our principles. We will never take up arms, ever.’
‘So you will let thy families die at the hands of raiders and not raise a finger to protect them? Is that faith or fear?’ I could not hold back my anger. ‘I watched how innocent men were beaten down to the ground and killed because of their beliefs and how they were mocked for not fighting back. No good came of that act of witness or none that I ever saw. Jacob, how could you forget how it was in Leeds when the meeting house was attacked?’
There was silence at my defiance. There I went again, challenging authority, stepping out of line in my indignation, but for once Mary stood by my side.
‘The girl talks some sense. Thee wouldn’t let thy bairns be carried away and scalped, Joseph Emsworth?’
‘Fret not, there are other ways to defend ourselves than with guns. We can make safe the cellars and find hiding places or thee can flee to pits in the woods. Our doors are stout and we have shutters. Better still to parlay with the enemy to prevent bloodshed, hear their grievances and find some meeting point and treaty like they did in the old war in England.’
‘And live in fear and dread as our grandfathers in Cromwell’s time, not knowing who would stampede through the fields and demand quartering? Have you forgotten how Cromwell’s army demanded someone go in his place to join them in combat? His yard boy, Perkins went with them and never returned.’
‘Enough, that was a long time ago,’ Joseph snapped back. Our sniping and bickering went on for days after that. Joseph was in two minds about the matter but Jacob never wavered that there should be no palisade built around us. Thankfully there were some Dutch and Swedish neighbours who held no such convictions, eager to billet the militia when they arrived. Their coming divided Good Hope into two camps and as usual I tried to straddle the both of them.
At the town meeting all of us attended to hear the officer of the militia explaining how we must strengthen our defences.
‘This is a precautionary measure but the fact of having a firm wall shows that you are prepared to sit out a siege or stand and fight back. It takes away the element of surprise. These natives in war paint are not your Lenape river folk but savages from the north and south who burn houses and kill every white face, causing great fear. Those who trade in guns and rum have much to answer for.
‘We have grown soft in the middle lands. Peace has made prosperity but it causes jealousy and a demand for the shipped-in goods we enjoy. I can’t stress enough how important it is for you to have a plan, should danger come. We can’t patrol the whole of Delaware and the wilderness beyond. We have good native scouts who can warn us and track their path, so who among you will volunteer?’
I saw the Dormundsens and Hautmanns raise their hands and a few I did not recognise but our elders rose as one and walked out of the chamber. Other Friends followed, though I did not leave but hung back to hear what was going to happen.
‘Bring your arms to the river field for drill and exercises,’ the officer continued. ‘My men will advise you further. Have no fear, they are well trained and experienced under the leadership of Captain Thane here.’
Jordan Thane stepped out of the shadows. How had he been hidden from my view? Had he seen me lurking at the back? Our eyes met briefly and then I knew just the sight of him standing tall was too much to bear. If I stayed on there would be a temptation to converse with him; that one glance was enough to know I must speak with him again, if only to explain that I was now engaged to another man.
Jacob was hovering in the lane with a face like thunder. ‘You were the only Friend left in the hall. Why do you linger so long with such people? I was beginning to think you would never come out.’
‘The officer is talking sense and not all soldiers are wicked unbelievers. He has our best interests at heart,’ I argued.
Jacob sighed. ‘I despair of thy faith sometimes. Is the convincement of Truth so weak within you? I hear from the women’s meeting that you are inclined to stubbornness in many matters of discipline. I know you can never be as compliant as Ellinor was but I need thy support if I am to sit among the elders. Do not draw attention to thyself with contrary opinions that go against our teachings. I see you rush about where others walk calmly. I see you fidget when others sit still in silence. I had hoped together we might subdue thy restless spirit. I must speak the hard truth in love if we are to walk together in life.’
This was the moment to have spoken of my own doubtings, the moment to disengage from any future promises and vows but I let that moment of honesty pass and walked on in silence at his rebuke.
Jacob Wrathall was a good man, sincere and fair, forthright in his judgement of others as many Friends tend to be but kind in many other ways. If any man could tame my wildness it would be him, I mused. It was still early days in our understanding of each other. His faith was like a steady lantern in the darkness. For a time in Yorkshire mine own was like a blazing torch of certitude but now it felt like a firework that exploded high with sparks that lately had fallen to earth and faded. What was left was a flickering pinprick of light and not much comfort at all. Were we mismatched in every way?
For all his firebrand opinions and certainties, Jacob was a good shepherd, tender at the sick bed, playful with the school children, dutiful in his preparations and record-keeping but there was as yet something missing between us. I thought of Henri Boyer teasing me about the nightly joys of lovemaking. In almost two years since our arrival and before that in those travelling years in Leeds, not once had Jacob attempted any touch or kiss to express his physical need of me or Ellinor. Theirs was the most chaste of courtships, as I recall. That night I lay pondering my feebleness in not withdrawing from our arrangement. What was is it about me that made him wary of any physical approach?
No palisades were built around Good Hope. That was the compromise made but farmers and citizens did their target practice, had their muskets and powder checked and ammunition stored safely. One morning after the town meeting I walked along the river field to view the training and I saw Jordan Thane watching me from a distance. Nothing was said but a sign was passed between us none the less. I had brought Liddy along as my chaperone knowing if I so much as spoke to a redcoat she would report it back to Mary.
‘Why do we have to walk on this path?’ she asked, staring at the troops marching up and down. ‘Are they fighting?’
‘No, just practising with their firearms.’
‘Have you got one?’
‘Of course not,’ I said.
‘Don’t ladies have them then?’
‘Perhaps among the gentry folk there are some hand pistols.’
‘Why?’
‘To arm themselves again
st highwaymen and robbers.’
‘Will you buy us one? Then you can save us from the Indians.’
‘Who told you that?’ All our talk of unrest had gotten to the ears of this child.
‘Sam says the Indians cut your hands and heads off and stick them on a pike.’
‘What rot! Wait till I see that boy. The Lenape are our friends. There’s nothing to fear. Come along.’ I hurried her away, regretting this detour.
The thought of owning a hand pistol troubled me. Where did the children dream up such schemes? This was what came of meddling in warfare and rumours of war. Suddenly, though, Good Hope didn’t feel quite so safe. Could tribes from the north canoe down and attack us by night, plunder our barns and fields, burn our wooden houses and barns and carry us off as prisoners for ransom or worse?
‘You’ve had a visitor,’ Mary sniffed the next day. ‘Yon soldier as helped Georgie, he called with this.’ She shoved a package into my hand. ‘Said as how he wanted to see how the lad was faring but I told him you were all up the fields and doing fine. I don’t want Friend Simpson seeing a redcoat at our door but it were kind of him to ask.’ She eyed my letter with interest. I was miffed to have missed his visit. To be so near and yet so far and with a genuine reason to call that no one could take fault with.
‘Good news,’ I said, reading the contents of the letter. ‘Sabine has been safely delivered of a girl child called Marianne after Henri’s wife. She was murdered by the king’s men in Nantes when the Huguenots were attacked.’
‘Mercy me!’ Mary said. ‘Is there no peace to be found in this world?’
‘I must send some gift for the newborn. What do you think, a rattle, a shawl or cap. No, something special.’
‘Don’t ask me,’ Mary replied, her curiosity sated. The last bit of the letter I did not read out to her:
We look forward to hearing all your news and Captain Thane has promised to deliver it in person to us from your hand.
What could I send with him . . . ? And then I remembered the tiny moccasin shoes worn by White Deer’s baby, lined with soft fur for winter. They were little slippers decorated with beads and embroidery. I knew Sabine would appreciate the fine workmanship. I would make a trip to the camp and barter for them. Of Thane’s return I made no mention. ‘Sufficient unto the day . . .’ I quoted from the Bible under my breath. Yet I could not help my heart leaping at the thought of meeting with him again, even if it would have to be our last.
32
I did not have long to wait before Jordan Thane found me scurrying along the town track to Good Hope with a basket of fresh pies for some old Friends in need of support.
‘Joy,’ he called, stepping out from the copse and making me jump. ‘Why have you been avoiding me?’ It was a hot afternoon and he wore only a shirt and breeches, not his redcoat jacket.
‘I must go,’ I replied, hurrying on. ‘I can’t be seen talking to a soldier.’
‘Is that all I am now, a redcoat?’
‘Of course not, but Friends are suspicious if the likes of me are seen consorting with a worldly man.’ I was too flustered to look him in the eye. ‘Thanks for delivering the letter. I am so pleased for the Boyers.’
‘I was hoping you would send word to me through them.’ He was not to be put off by my sharp answers.
‘How could I when the river was frozen?’
‘There are other ways to send packages.’
That was the point at which I stopped stock still and faced him head on. ‘I can’t walk with you. I am no longer free. I have pledged myself to another Friend. It would not be seemly.’
‘Not the preacher, Wrathall?’ He saw the look on my face. ‘Oh, I see . . .’ The silence between us grew painful and I picked up my pace to flee from him but he caught my hand to halt me.
‘That is your choice but that’s not why I am here, at least not the only reason,’ he answered hesitant. ‘You have to persuade them to take up arms should there be a raid. Have they no idea what danger you may be exposed to? I wanted to give you this.’ Jordan darted back from where he had met me and brought out a package, pressing it into my hand.
‘What’s this?’ The parcel wrapped in cloth felt hard and metallic.
‘It’s a pistol, the smallest I could find for your defence should you need it. You must aim and shoot straight. I can show you how to load it and charge it.’
Suddenly it felt white hot in my hand. ‘I can’t accept this.’
‘You must, for the children if not for yourself. Did we go to all that trouble to save George’s life only to see him scalped or worse for want of a firearm? Think about it. If the Emsworths won’t defend their family that is for them to decide but to let innocent children suffer . . . that is diabolical.’
I could see the flinty determination in his eye as he put the gun into my palm. ‘Take it, Joy. Pray God you’ll never have to use it but I will sleep easier knowing you will be the safer for having it.’
It was in that look of concern that I knew this man loved me and cared what happened to me and mine. It was all I could do not to fling my arms around him in gratitude but I held back at first, all my resolve weakening.
‘You will have to show me how to use it,’ I whispered.
‘Gladly, but it must be tonight. We leave soon. I will call at the farm on some pretext; excuse yourself after I have gone and meet me at the lane end.’ He clicked his heels in salute and sauntered ahead of me, leaving me to hold this dreadful weapon in my hand.
It was only as I made my own way that I heard a rustling in the leaves, thinking he had darted back, but there was Tamar standing behind a great oak tree staring at me with a look that chilled. Had she heard and seen everything that had passed between us? Did she know what was hiding in the basket among the mutton pies?
‘How fares thee, Friend Tamar?’ I smiled, all sweetness and light, pretending that I was not shaking with fear. The woman said nothing as usual but her eyes went to the basket. Had she seen the exchange, heard our conversation? She raised her eyebrows, but I couldn’t read her silence. Then her smile made me shiver as her lips curled into a sneer. She held out her hand, looking to the basket, so I opened the linen cloth and gave her one of the pies, thinking to satisfy her need. She pushed my hand away, trying to thrust hers into the basket but I shook it away hard.
‘Nay, nay, Friend . . . not for you. Go away!’ and I turned and ran, hearing a strange calling noise in my ears. So Tamar was not dumb as we all thought but biding her time. A chilling fear all but froze me to the spot, creeping like ice over the river. How much had she really seen and how long would she keep silent?
That night I sat down to compose a brief letter to Sabine.
. . . The Captain will call to collect this as they leave tomorrow back to their quarters in the city. Their presence has caused much concern. He fears for our safety but we are assured from the local natives that what threats there be are not for us but for them.
I have some news of my own regarding Jacob Wrathall and myself. We hope to be joined in matrimony as soon as I am free to do so and with the Friends’ permission.
We hope to acquire all the land due to us and build a farmstead as close to Good Hope so he can continue in his educational work among the Lenape children. I shall be his assistant in all of this. Wish us well in our new venture.
We rejoice in your safe delivery and hope to visit with you on our next river trip down to the market. I long to see Marianne for myself and Liddy is making a little dolly to give to her . . .
I rushed home after visiting the sick women with our pies, hiding the little pistol carefully under a pile of stones by the kale patch. It could not be concealed within the house in my wooden chest alongside the gloves and certificates and indenture papers. Liddy was too curious a child, rooting round my few possessions in case I had ribbons for her. It was also better to forewarn Mary of the Captain’s return. I tried to make light of it. ‘They leave tomorrow, so I hear, so no more redcoats to disturb our peace.’
‘Too right,’ Mary said, her arms deep in the flour trough. ‘I suppose we can spare him a bit of pie, seeing as how kind he was to George. Shall you ask Jacob to join us in fellowship?’
‘Not tonight, we don’t want more arguments. The elders have discussed and asked everyone’s opinion. The decision is made. Better to leave things unsaid.’ I didn’t want Jacob as my chaperone. I wanted Jordan to myself.
How I longed to pin up my hair without the stiff linen cap I must wear to conceal its glory. I must appear indifferent to his visit and not show how confused I felt when in his presence. The hands of the precious timepiece that hung on the wall seemed to creep so slowly towards dusk. Joseph and the boys came in from the fields dusty and sweaty. Liddy was fast asleep in the truckle bed in the alcove that served now as the Emsworths’ private chamber. The boys slept aloft up a ladder. I must wait until all were abed before lying on the mattress behind a curtain that was my only hiding place.
‘I saw Friend Tamar on the road. She acted most strange and I heard her calling out. Her voice must be loosening,’ I said, trying not to make it sound like gossip. Someone had to know what I had witnessed.
‘Poor lass has suffered much. They say her wits are addled. She’s not been the same since you and Jacob declared your intentions. I reckon she has grown sweet on him.’
This was all news to me but it would explain why she was so cold around me.
We were at evening prayer when Jordan called, standing hat in hand in silence as Joseph led us in silent worship. Then Mary pointed him to the table.
‘Sit thee down, lad, and share some pie and ale with us.’
I found my hands shaking at the nearness of him across the board. We made polite conversation about the harvest, the continuing warm weather, new settlers into the township, skirting round any mention of the recent militia training or Indian raids.
