Through the years, his eyes were on me—and every other female within a hundred yard radius. His dick had seen more pussy than I wanted to think about. I couldn’t stand him. He used women, treated them like whores. I don’t know, maybe they were whores. That’s what the wives of the men called them. They called them lots of things actually, mostly in siciliano, but I could understand them. I knew what they were saying and it wasn't friendly.
“You belong to me.” Sam would insist. I’d tell him that I belonged to no one, but he didn’t see it that way. He'd also been another reason that boys never approached me as a teenager. Sam was crazy, and they knew it. He obsessed over me, showing up at my house without an invitation. He lived just next door, very inconvenient. I’d considered many times it would all be different if I was into him, but I wasn’t then or now. I’d grown up in this life, and to be honest, I’d like to find someone outside of it. A guy that didn’t use a gun to rid his problems or threaten and manipulate people to get what he wanted. I wanted to be free from it all, especially the insatiable cheating that I knew for a fact was normal for the made-men in the familia. Most of the wives ignored it, but I could never stand by while my husband cheated on me. The women brushed it under the rug and acted like it didn’t exist, and that made me angry. What sort of example were they setting for young women. I would never tolerate my husband cheating on me, not for one second!
Women in my world very infrequently got a choice of whom they’d marry, especially if that girl was the boss’ daughter. They may get stuck with someone they didn’t love, but made it work because that’s what their families said was best for them. The man the woman was said to marry would always be a part of this life. The marriages may not always be arranged but more suggested. A good Sicilian girl does what her family tells her because family is the Sicilian way. I think that's what sets us apart. Sunday dinners, holidays, and family is the most important. Throw in a little bit of organized crime in the mix and you’ve got a really tight mafia family, even if they aren’t “blood”. You can’t be a made-man if you aren’t Sicilian, so regardless of blood our families were still from the same place at the end of the day.
Papa said my blood was pure. My mother and father were chosen for one another long before the two were born, based solely on lineage. Keeping the Sicilian blood in America was a huge concern between the two families, most families actually. Papa used to tell me of their two families struggling to come to America from Sicily. When they started their life in the states, things were very different. Different races mixing. Blacks and whites, Italians and whites, Italians and blacks. Oh, and then the Irish. My grandparents were very concerned about mixing races. They’d said it went against the plan. I just nodded at them, turned my head, and rolled my eyes. Me personally, I didn’t care one way or the other. I didn’t want to marry “A good Sicilian boy.” It was ridiculous to think I’d get stuck in a marriage like Great Aunt Teresa and Uncle Vito. They hated one another, but they married because that’s what their families wanted.
I’d always agonized over the possibility that Papa would force me to marry for the familias benefit, but I was comfortable when he didn’t push the issue. While this was a different time and things were less forced, you were still expected to marry within the Sicilian blood line. Most often than not, a good Sicilian Cosa Nostra girl did what was expected of her. Pleasing her father was of top priority, even if she’d rather stick a fork into her eyeball. Which of course, I did.
What angered me the most about being trapped in a loveless marriage? That’s an easy one… I simply had no intentions of sitting idly by being a princess for the rest of my life. But I’d be expected to. I wouldn’t have to cook or clean. I’d never had to do those things before, and of course, the man that I’d marry would take my father’s position as Boss, but I would just be a centerpiece, I’d only be there for his needs.
Not. Gonna. Happen.
My whole life would consist of making my husband happy. It would be boring at best. I was twenty-four years old and nothing had ever been said. So every night when I closed my eyes I asked Momma—my guardian angel, to keep them away so that true love could find me.
A girl could dream, but I knew the reality. I’d marry a made-man because that was the life I’d been born into, that’s who I was and what was expected of me, the only child of Anthony Sagatori.
I only hoped the man I’d be told to marry wouldn’t be Salvatore Casconi. My grandparents swooned over him. They called him “A good Sicilian boy.” Everyone called him that. Sam hadn’t been a good boy since he’d been made at sixteen. His first kill was Tony Romero, a made-man and the most feared soldier under the Capo, Gianni “Bull” Bove. Tony had been looking at Sam’s mother in the wrongness of ways. No one punished Sam’s actions and instead rewarded what he’d done by declaring it honorable. He was confirmed shortly after, and now he’s a Capo with his own soldiers. Capos or Captains are given ten or so soldiers to handle. But Sam wants to handle everything. He wants to be the boss of the bosses like Papa.
“Listen, uhh…” I hesitated, embarrassed I didn’t know his name.
“Jax.” His eyes shifted into my direction, a smirk lifting at the corner of his full lips.
The name suited him, dangerous and edgy. I could see that about him. “Jax, I really appreciate your help. I do. But,” I inhaled a deep breath. “I really need to get to my father.”
“You’ll be safe?” he asked through deafening darkness that leered from behind his eyes.
I nodded my head. “Yes, of course.” The phone vibrated in my lap reminding me I still had his phone. “Sorry,” I offered, handing it to him.
He palmed it with his huge hand, ignoring it as he sat it to the side once more.
“Do you need to answer that?” I asked politely.
“No,” he said with absolute tone that caused me to jump back into the seat. Quickly, I became distracted. One hand against the door and the other on his suit-clad thigh, I saw it, a wedding band. He was married. Him saving me wasn’t just bad for him, it was bad for his family too.
“You can drop me off at the next stop.” The people that we were dealing with would hurt him and my conscious couldn’t take that.
“I’ll take you home, Bella.” His deep voice hummed while his eyes never faltered from mine.
“I really don’t want to keep you from your family, Jax. I’m sure you’re a busy man. I’ll be fine.” His throat cleared as he followed my eyes to the ring on his hand but said nothing in return.
“What’s the address?” He blurted with annoyance piercing through his tone. I spoke the address again and he called the driver giving him instructions to take me home.
I was relieved, I was already fearing for the safety of my father. I simply didn’t have it in me to have this man and his wife’s deaths on my conscious. That’s exactly what would happen, they would die too.
“What do you do for a living?” I asked, trying to take my mind off the fact that I’d just pulled him into something he wasn’t supposed to know anything about.
“My job?” He huffed with amusement.
“Yes, I presume you have one.” I drew my brows with my sarcastic response.
“I’m a businessman,” he answered dismissively and with annoyed frustration.
I ignored the attitude and kept talking. “That’s fascinating. Do you love it?” I feigned a smile. My heart raced, I was a wreck of worry tied in knots everywhere.
He shook his head. “I wouldn’t say that I loved it…but it’s what I’m good at.” A glare set on his face.
I ignored it. “I wouldn’t waste one moment doing something that I didn’t love.” True statement.
“Really? Tell me, what it is that you do?” he asked sardonically.
“Million-dollar question,” I admitted while my cheeks heated with embarrassment. I had no idea what I did. I knew what I wanted to do, but no-one would allow it.
“Sounds loaded.”
“You have no idea.” I
breathed in. “I’d like to run my father’s business when he retires. Make him proud.” I shrugged into the seat.
“You are a business woman?” He stifled a smile.
“I don’t know how true that is, but I could be.” I wasn’t brought up thinking I could run things so his sarcasm wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before. Papa would likely have a heart attack if he knew what I was saying.
“You don’t sound overly confident.”
I shrugged against the seat. “No, I suppose not.”
“You’re afraid of failure?”
No, I’m afraid of my father.
I turned to look at Jax. “Presumptuous much?” I snapped. It was true and kinda pissed me off that I was that transparent. It was my own fault, I was always a bit unconfined with my facial expressions and it had always gotten me into trouble. No poker face here.
“Just really good at reading people, I suppose. Occupational hazard.” He snickered.
“Hmm, what sort of business are you in?” I asked wanting the attention elsewhere.
His features darkened. “All kinds.” That sounded shady.
I didn’t consider what he'd said and just kept talking. I needed the separation for a moment. “And you’re good at it?”
“The best.” His fingers tapped his suit-clad leg.
“Overly confident?” I retorted.
“Every day.” A grin lifted at his lips.
I laughed out loud. I really wasn’t expecting that answer. Kinda refreshing to be honest. “Good. It must work for you. You seem to have a successful life, I’d work with you.” My only real life business situations were what I had seen from my father. He had his fingers in all sorts of transactions, and if the earners weren’t able to make money they were gotten rid of. Papa didn’t tell me these things, but a girl heard a lot when she snooped and eavesdropped. Success wasn’t something given, it was something earned.
“Oh? Are you in search of a business relationship?” His eyes darkened again.
“No,” I lay my head back gazing out the window before closing my eyes. “Just talk, that’s all.” I’m in a stranger’s car with barely any clothing on, at God knows what hour. I have no shame and I’m conversing with him about things that don’t matter in my world. Women owning their own businesses… being the boss, that isn’t an option, especially for me. The only way I’ll have any of that is if I work for my husband.
***
“Bella?” A warm hand jostled my arm. “Bella,”
My eyes opened seeing that we were parked in front of the address I’d given Jax. “It’s so dark.” My body shifted so that I could peer out of the window. The lights weren’t on in the house, he wasn’t there and my heart began to pound in my ears. “He’s not here.” I whispered more to myself than to Jax. Terrified, I quickly gripped the door handle and jumped from the car.
“Wait!” I heard from behind me, but I was already halfway to the front door.
“Papa,” I called, looking around. I didn’t see any cars. The house was large, but nothing obscene. It was certainly not like the palace we really lived in, as not to draw attention, but still very beautiful. I crossed through the large garden. I hesitated when I finally reached the stairs listening for Papa or maybe Tony and Sal, but heard absolutely nothing. “Papa?” I whispered, knowing he wouldn’t hear it, but saying it anyway because I was scared.
My father had always been my protector and my saving grace. I didn’t know what I would do without him. And I never wanted to find out. I prayed every single day that he'd live forever.
“Bella?” Jax said as the unkempt leaves crunched beneath his feet behind me. I turned just as he slid his jacket over my shoulders. I hadn’t realized until then that it had slipped off when I jumped from the car. “Do you have a key?”
My eyes met his as he asked but all I could do was sink into his arms as they wrapped around me, holding the jacket in place. I really needed to feel safe. I needed to know that everything was going to be okay. I knew he was married, but I just needed to borrow the safety of his arms for a moment.
Resting his chin on my head he asked. “Can you get inside?”
“I don’t know.” I sighed. I didn’t have a key. I had nothing with me. “Umm,” I leaned out of the safety of his embrace, as I did, he released his hands from my shoulders and took a step toward the door. “What are you doing?” I asked.
He took three steps forward pressing his hand onto the door knob. “It’s open.” His body shifted into my direction once again.
I bowed my head and approached the door. “Thank you.” My eyes met his again. I slid in between his towering body and the door frame. When my feet were safely planted on the hardwood floor, his hand reached out to mine entangling our fingers together. Surprised, I dropped my head to our hands.
His head lowered as well, “Let me in.” He was still on the front porch with only me inside. His voice was firm and in control. I didn’t know him, he was a stranger and welcoming him into the house could be a bad idea, especially if Papa did arrive. “To make sure you’re okay, of course.” His head tilted and his eyes shifted to my hand with furrowed brows. “You’re so cold.”
I was so cold from being outside and it wasn’t any warmer inside. Papa would’ve turned the heat up or started a fire. It was completely dark and empty, though.
“What is it?” Jax questioned. With his tall frame moving inside the house he pushed my body backward. I noticed a man standing just outside the door watching with his eyes slowly taking in the house. He must be the driver. “Is there anyone here?” His chin lifted. He was really tall, actually towering over me by more than a foot, at least.
“I don’t know. My father was supposed to be here, but…”
He was still holding my hand and I couldn’t help the feeling as I noticed what his hand looked like holding onto mine. He was strong with soft hands, manicured probably. With that car and the suit I was certain to be hand stitched just like Papa's there was no doubt he took great care of himself and made the money to do so. Metro-sexual for sure. The cufflinks with encrusted black diamonds sparkling from his wrists said I’d been right about him. None of that mattered, however.
“But what?” He searched my eyes as he waited for my response.
“I don’t think anyone has been here.”
He released his hold on my hand and moved around me, moving into the foyer without me inviting him inside. He flipped a switch and the light brightened the large room in front of us. “Is this where you live?”
“Uh huh.” I lied.
“And your family lives here as well?” He continued walking through the now lit area.
“Yes.” I slowly followed him.
“This house feels like no one’s been here for a long time.” His eyes searched through the large space. I didn’t answer. When he turned his head to question me with his eyes I knew he saw the truth. I shrugged. I was a really bad liar.
“Where’s your room?” He paused as his hand swept over a few photos of my family that hung on the wall. I pointed in the direction of the stairs. “I’ll go with you.” His arm dropped from the photo as he followed. “To get dressed.” His voice was stern and demanding.
I was shivering, it was cold and my feet were completely numb. I couldn’t feel my toes and when I saw his breath billowing around him, fear tingled in my belly. He was right; no one’s been here for a very long time.
I pulled the jacket tight around my chest and padded my numb feet towards my bedroom. His hand landed on my shoulder as we both ascended the large staircase. I was worried, but I couldn't tell him that. I couldn’t bring him into this. I’d get dressed, assure Jax I was fine, take a gun from the safe, get a car from the garage, and find Papa. He’d have to be okay.
My hands held the railing for support. When we reached the top of the stairs, Jax tapped the light switch on allowing the light to brightened our way. I continued, padding my feet as we finally approached my room at the end of the hall. This house wasn’t
your typical safe house, but Papa always did his absolute best to keep my life as normal as possible. Momma insisted on it, and he always did his best to make sure she was happy.
I turned the handle revealing the darkened room. Jax reached his arm across my body sweeping my cheek with his fingers before tapping the light. “Get dressed and pack a bag.”
I turned my head glaring at him. “Why?” I drew my brows together.
“Because you’re practically naked.” He blew out an annoyed breath.
“No—” I shook my head. “—I meant, why pack a bag?” I opened the closet door, knowing I already had a bag packed safely inside. I unhooked a few hangers.
“After what you've been through I don’t think you should be here alone, Bella.”
My only concern was Papa. I couldn’t care less what happened to me. “Do you mind?” I gestured to the clothing in my hands. He didn’t hesitate, turning away. I pulled the sweatshirt over my head, swiped a clean pair of black lace panties from my drawer, and stepped inside of my jeans.
The house had been kept up for the most part. Someone cleaned a few times a month. Everything was kept stocked, if we needed to be here for extended periods of time we’d have everything we needed.
Once my clothes were on, I began to get the feeling back into my body. I tucked on a pair of brown leather boots and swiped the hair brush through my long dark hair. I felt human again.
Bella: The Begining (Sagatori Family Saga #1) Page 2
