“Oh, but what fun it will be. I better run, he’ll be here soon.”
“Later. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t!” I teased.
“From what you said the night of your party, that’s pretty wide open” was her laughing reply.
“La la la la la la la!” I said as I refused to make eye contact.
“Mmm-hmm. You can la la la me all you want.”
“Bye!” I grinned as I waved and ended the call.
Shit, why had I gone and told her about Grayson? Unfortunately, I hadn’t been so drunk that I didn’t remember the things I’d said about him. Nor had I forgotten the things I said I wanted him to do to me. My face flamed at the thought.
Good Lord.
Deciding to call it an early night, I plugged in my phone and switched off the lamp. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep.
If I said my dreams weren’t plagued by X-rated dreams of the man, I’d be a big, fat liar.
As I stepped out into the corridor late the next morning, I was greeted by my neighbors exiting their apartment.
“Hey, Nova! You should’ve been there last night. It was a great time,” Erika said with a grin. Her blonde hair was piled on her head in a messy bun, and a towel was thrown over her shoulder.
“Looks like y’all had the same idea as I did.” I motioned toward my swimsuit.
“Hell, yeah. What better way to spend an August Saturday than by the pool?” Michele answered with a smile.
“Mind if I walk with you guys?” I asked.
“The more the merrier. Wonder if there will be any sexy guys down there?” Erika said.
They were a good six years younger than me, but they seemed nice. Which was why I had been going to go out with them last night. Except it had been a long week with very little sleep, and I’d been exhausted.
“Most of the people here seem to be older,” I said in response to Erika’s pondering.
“I don’t know. That cop that lives here is hot as fuck. Did you see him working out in the gym last weekend?” Michele asked.
“No, I went home to see my parents last weekend,” I replied. Not that I was interested in the guy. I’d seen him once and he was a looker, but he was probably more their age than mine. Not to mention, I’m not really interested in any kind of relationship. Not even a casual one.
We chatted as we walked.
It ended up being a great day in the sun and water. The pool wasn’t too crowded, and we had a good time despite our age difference.
Walking back to our apartments, Michele suddenly shouted, “Oh!”
“Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!” Erika scolded.
“Sorry. I just remembered that guy I went out with that’s in that band invited me to go listen to them play tonight. You guys wanna go?”
Not looking forward to sitting home for another weekend, I shrugged. “Sounds like fun. What kind of music do they play?”
We stopped outside their apartment.
“It’s hard rock. And the bar is kind of a little dive bar, but it’s sure to be a good time. If not, we can bounce and go somewhere else.” She unlocked the door.
“Okay, I’m in.” I smiled. I was a sucker for rock music.
“Great! Erika? Do you have plans?” she asked her roommate.
“Not really. I’m game.” She shrugged.
“Cool! We’ll swing by your place after we get ready. You can ride with us if you want,” Michele offered.
“Umm, how about if we take an Uber or Lyft?” Erika asked. “That way we can all drink and not have to drive.”
“Sounds good to me,” I agreed.
“Awesome!” Michele said. We worked out what time we’d leave, and I went inside.
Dropping my keys on the island counter, I looked around my apartment. I probably should’ve spent the evening unpacking, but I wanted to get out and forget everything for a bit. I’d been putting it off too long.
There was a missed call from Heidi on my phone, but I told myself I’d call her later.
Wanting to wash my hair, I went to the bathroom. I stripped out of my wet suit and dropped it in the sink. As the water heated up, I took stock of myself.
For almost thirty-two, I didn’t look too shabby. Cupping my boobs, I gave them a little shake. Still pretty firm. My butt was decent from the time I spent in the gym at night. That had been my time to unwind. Legs and arms were toned for the same reason.
Leaning in, I noted a few fine lines by my eyes, but for the most part, I didn’t look my age. The problem was, what difference did it really make? Maybe I got a few second glances by men when I was walking down the street, but that’s it.
Not that it really mattered. I’d made the decision that I didn’t need a man in my life. Every single one I’d allowed myself to open up to had screwed me over one way or another.
Except Toby, but I’d let him go after I passed the bar, because we had two different visions of our future. Looking back on it, I realize how dumb my rationale had been, but at the time it had made sense.
He was a biker and I’d worried about how that might reflect on me. He’d also decided he was going to start working in the oil fields and wanted me to move out there. Though I’d been madly in love with him, I’d been smart enough to know it wasn’t going to work out. At least not at that time of our lives.
The firm I’d interned with had offered me a job that was a once-in-a-lifetime offer. The problem was, it was in Houston, and he was going to be in West Texas. So I’d ended things, and he’d been angry and hurt.
Then I’d been dumped by one guy for being too driven at the beginning of my career. He’d said I didn’t spend enough time with him because I was always working. I’d caught the next one cheating on me when I took a client out to dinner. Didn’t even give him a chance to explain. There was no need. Then there were a couple of short relationships that lacked chemistry.
Icing on the cake of my shitty choices in men? I’d jumped into a relationship with another biker during a particularly dark time. No, more than a relationship—I’d freaking agreed to marry him. That had been a horrendous decision. It had a taken a restraining order to get him to leave me alone after he got all possessive and psycho.
I’d never been so happy to hear someone was in jail before in my life. The crazy fucker had actually killed someone who worked in the same building as I did. He’d pulled some kind of magic and gotten a ridiculously light sentence, but he wouldn’t be getting out anytime soon.
The final nail in the coffin of my relationship status was Gordie. He’d fucked me in more ways than I cared to count. Emptied my bank account and ran up my credit cards, all while fucking his secretary. Douche.
Nope. I was done with all that. If I could find a way to have a baby, I’d settle into being a mom and enjoy my life.
But while it was still only me, I was going to simply enjoy life.
It was obviously too short.
“Something to Talk About”—Koe Wetzel
“Hey, Smoke, is Mattie free tonight?” Lock asked me as he leaned into the office doorway.
“She hasn’t told me she has plans. Why? You need a babysitter?”
“Yeah. Raiven wants to go watch this band tonight. The lead singer is one of her repeat clients, so she wants to show her support.” He shrugged as he wiped his hands on a shop towel.
“You want me to ask her or are you?” I asked.
“Well, if you don’t mind doing it, that would be great. My phone is on my toolbox.”
“Sure.” I shot off a text to Mattie. Her reply was immediate. Not only did she love Presley and Bryson, she wanted the money. The kid was growing up too fast, but she was pretty responsible with her money. She was saving up for some expensive as hell jeans she wanted. She’d tried to get me to buy them, but I told her I wasn’t spending over a hundred bucks on a pair of jeans, so if she wanted them, she would have to buy them herself.
“She said no problem and asked what time,” I told him.
“Tell he
r I’ll pick her up around eight.”
I sent the text. “Did you need something else?” I asked as he sat down. I’d been about to leave so I could get some yard work done. I hadn’t planned on working on a Saturday, but there had been some issues and I’d stopped by to clear them up.
It was obvious he was trying to figure out what he wanted to say. “Since Mattie won’t be home, do you want to go with us?”
Laughter erupted. “I’m not interested in being y’all’s third wheel.”
“Naw, P, it won’t be like that. Truth, Slice, and Radar are going too. Straight is working or he would’ve gone, and Check is still out of town. Styx said if Gwen was feeling up to it, they’ll be there too,” he said as he crossed an ankle over his knee.
Running a hand through my hair, I debated.
“Come on, Prez, it won’t kill you to go out and have fun for a night.” His teasing grin spread across his face. He scratched his blond beard with a tatted hand.
“I guess,” I conceded. “Where is it? I’ll meet you there.”
“You know I can’t let you meet us there. I’ll have Radar, Truth, and Slice meet you at your place. Then you all can ride together.” As my SAA, he was always looking out for me, but it was more than that. He was a lot like a little brother.
Shaking my head, the corner of my mouth pulled up as I fought a smile. “Sure.”
“Don’t shake your head. What kind of SAA would I be if I let my prez arrive alone?” He smirked.
“So you and Raiven are caging it?”
“Yeah, she plans on doing her hair and shit and didn’t want it getting all fucked-up with her helmet and the wind. I almost told her to drive herself.” He laughed, but I knew he was full of shit.
“What-the-fuck-ever bro. That would be the day. You’re so fucking pussy-whipped it’s not funny.” I couldn’t help but tease him back.
“Pssh!” He rolled his eyes. Then he looked a little chagrined. “Okay, maybe a little.”
“A little, my ass!” I snorted.
“Oh, just you wait. One of these days you’re gonna meet some chick and it’s gonna hit you so hard you’ll be left reeling.” He didn’t know how close to the mark he was. Maybe not in the way he meant it though.
Since that day almost two weeks ago, I’d been plagued with thoughts of Nova Stewart. Fucking crazy shit. I’d be in the middle of random shit and her face would pop in my head.
In my dreams, it was way more than her face. I’d wake up with a massive stiffy and a need to fuck someone hard and fast. Maybe tonight would be a good idea. Since Mattie would likely stay the night at Lock’s if we were late, it wouldn’t be a big deal if I didn’t go home.
“I don’t need a woman in my life. I have my hands full with the teenage female in my house as it is. The last thing I need is another one. Fuck.”
“Then tonight will be the perfect opportunity to blow off some steam. Maybe we’ll find you someone to take your mind off shit. How about if we have Mattie stay at our place?”
“It’s like you read my mind.” That time my grin reached from ear to ear.
He stood. “Badass, bro. All right, well, I’ve got work to do if I want to get out of here on time.”
“Yeah, I was actually just getting ready to go when you came in.”
“Cool. See you tonight.” He went back out into the shop.
“Later.” Grabbing my keys, I shut everything down and headed out into the bright sunlight.
Slipping my shades on, I mounted up and rode home.
When I stepped into the cool interior of my home, I was greeted with silence.
“Mattie?” I called. No answer.
She hadn’t asked to go anywhere. Maybe she had her headphones on. The closer I got to her room, the louder I heard the music playing. I was surprised I hadn’t noticed it when I came in.
“That’s why she didn’t hear me,” I muttered as I grabbed her doorknob.
The door swung open, and I saw red. Some little punk-ass kid was in her room kissing her. What set my blood on fire was the fact that he had his hand up her shirt.
I didn’t say a word. Instead, I stormed over to them and grabbed him by his mop of hair and jerked him back.
“Dad!” Mattie squealed.
I pointed a finger in her face. “No! Now is when you shut your mouth and sit there.”
The young kid I was holding on to was whimpering as he struggled in my grip. “Mr. Adams. Please. We didn’t do anything.”
“You didn’t do anything?” I said incredulously. I dragged him by the hair down the hall and to the door. Swinging it open, I tossed him out onto the lawn.
As soon as he landed on his ass, he began to scramble backward on his hands and feet. White as a sheet, he jumped up.
“Boy, you better start moving. All I wanna see is assholes and elbows out of you. Because if I catch you, you’re going to be on a missing persons poster,” I threatened. Maybe I wouldn’t go that far, but he sure as shit didn’t need to know that.
“Dad, stop!” Mattie latched on to my arm and pulled with all her bodyweight. Which wasn’t much, but it was enough to take my attention off the little fucker in the yard.
“Mattie,” I growled. “If you’re smart, you’ll get your ass back in that house.”
My teeth were grinding and my hands fisted. I was pretty sure she could tell she’d pushed me too far, because actual fear filled her eyes. That look was what calmed me. The thought of my little girl being afraid of me made me sick.
In my peripheral vision, I saw the kid sprinting down the sidewalk.
“We were studying,” she argued. The little shit had obviously found some bravery, because she had the nerve to prop her hands on her hips as she glared at me.
“Are you fucking serious? What were you studying? Anatomy?” was my snide response. “You know the rules. No boys in the house when I’m not home and never in your room. Have you lost your fucking mind?”
“He’s not just a boy, Dad. He’s my boyfriend.”
“He’s your what? You’re not old enough to have a boyfriend!” I roared.
“Oh my God! I’m sixteen! I’m not a baby!” she shouted. I noticed we were starting to attract the notice of our neighbors. Especially the nosey dickhead one.
“Get inside,” I ground out through clenched teeth.
Spinning on her heel, she stomped inside. I followed her and slammed the door after I cleared the threshold.
“Mattie,” I called after her as she kept walking. When she didn’t stop, I started to get pissed. “Mattison Anna Adams!”
Her full name froze her in her tracks. She didn’t turn around, but her small fists flexed at her sides. When it looked like her shoulders shuddered, it killed the rage in me like a flame doused with water.
“I don’t want what happened to me and your mom happening to you,” I broke down and admitted.
The hurt on her face as she turned to face me told me I’d fucked up with my wording.
“You regret having me?” she whispered.
“Fuck. No way, Mattie. That’s not what I meant. What I meant was I want you to enjoy your childhood. I don’t want some horny teenage boy talking his way in your pants and knocking you up,” I tried to explain.
“And ruining my life. Right?” Her bottom lip quivered, and I ran a frustrated hand through my hair.
“No, Mattie. You didn’t ruin our lives. You just changed them. You were a gift. Maybe one we weren’t totally prepared for, but everything happens for a reason.”
“Even Mom dying?”
I studied the ceiling as my head fell back. Though I prayed for divine intervention, none came. “That I don’t know, baby girl.”
Silence ensued. The only sound was the refrigerator humming. Finally, she gave a little sniffle.
“Well, if it’s any consolation, I doubt Cody will ever want to come over here again.”
A slightly humorless laugh snuck out of me. “I can’t say that upsets me.”
“Why do you h
ave to be such an ass, Dad?”
“Hey. Watch your mouth,” I grouched.
She rolled her eyes. “Like I haven’t grown up hearing worse? What did you expect?”
“I expect you to have respect for your old man and to know right from wrong,” I replied sardonically.
“Yes, Dad,” she huffed.
“We good?” I asked.
Finally her eyes met mine and held. She swallowed hard and crossed her arms. “Yeah.”
“Good. Come give your dad a hug.” She didn’t waste time before crossing the kitchen and throwing herself into my arms.
I wasn’t foolish enough to think this was magically the end of her rebellion, but I was relieved it was done for now.
“You still babysitting for Lock?”
“Duh! I want those jeans, Dad!” She laughed as she sniffled and stepped back.
“No boys at Lock’s either. He really will kick that boy’s ass.” I probably should’ve grounded her, but I didn’t have the heart. More often than not, I was a pushover with her. That was part of the problem we were having.
All she did was roll her eyes again, then head off to her room.
Fuck my life.
The rumble of our pipes as we backed up to the bar echoed against the building. Lock parked his truck, and he and Raiven walked over to join us.
After we all shut our bikes off, the ticking of the cooling motors could barely be heard over the music. Though the doors were closed, it was so loud it was bleeding through the walls from inside.
“Sounds like we’re late,” said Truth as we dismounted and took off our helmets.
“If fucking Slice hadn’t had to stop for smokes, we would’ve been here on time,” grumbled Radar.
“Man, whatever. That only took me about two minutes. It was you flirting with that fucking clerk at the gas station that took so long,” Slice tossed back at him.
“Did not.” They started to bicker back and forth.
“Enough!” I barked. “Jesus fucking Christ. Y’all are worse than my fucking daughter with that bitching. The night isn’t getting any younger. Let’s go inside.”
Acting like juveniles, every fucking one of them pushed at another or laughed and teased. “Christ, how old are y’all?” I grumbled.
Smoke and Mirrors: A Demented Sons MC Texas Novel Page 4
