I’m back on the road. It’s swarming with members of the emergency services. My eyes, dazzled at first by all the flashing lights, are drawn to the open back of an ambulance a little further along. It’s illuminated inside and I’m relieved to see the tall trench coat guy in there with his red face and grey ponytail. He’s having his leg examined by a paramedic, but he looks to be in one piece, thank goodness. A few yards away I spot a policeman holding a panting springer spaniel on a fluorescent yellow retractable lead. It must be the dog that ran into the road and sparked all of this, although it looks oblivious to the fact.
A face – Dr Miles Jackson’s – appears at the side window. He gives me a thumbs-up. ‘You’re safe now, lad. Everything’s going to be all right.’
I wonder how he can say that when he’s not even checked me over yet.
And his eyes tell a different story. They look more concerned than relieved as they take in the damage to the car. What does that mean for me?
I still can’t move. What if?
Don’t.
Stop it.
I shut down another voice in my head reminding me that I’ve been drinking. That I went AWOL from work. That I still don’t know if the driver of the red truck has come out of the accident in one piece, although I pray they have.
I’m alive.
That’s what I have to focus on.
It’s all that matters right now.
I’ll deal with whatever else – the consequences of my actions – in due course.
I’m alive.
I’ve been given another chance.
That’s infinitely more than Sam ever had.
It’s way beyond what I deserve.
So let’s make it count.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Thank you to everyone who has played a role, big or small, in the creation of this book.
First I must mention my amazing family: especially Claudia, Kirsten, Mum, Dad and Lindsay. You’ve been behind me from the very start of my literary journey, back when most people thought it was pie in the sky. You’ve always believed in me and championed my work, without shying away from telling me the truth when things haven’t been quite right. Your love and support mean everything.
My literary agent, Pat Lomax, also deserves a big mention. You’ve been a fantastic guide and companion on the road from would-be author to published novelist. I massively appreciate everything you’ve done to help turn my dream into reality.
Thank you to my excellent editor Phoebe Morgan. It’s been a pleasure to work with someone so enthusiastic, insightful and conscientious. Further thanks to the rest of the fabulous team at Neon/HarperCollins, including Helena Sheffield, Natasha Harding, Kate Ellis, Ellie Wood and Helen Huthwaite, as well as Jo Marino and Alice Bland from Way To Blue.
I’m also very grateful to John Khatri for reading an early version of this story.
It’s important that I recognise all the support I received from friends and wider family members when my previous novel, Time to Say Goodbye, came out. It’s tough promoting a first book and your enthusiasm and help spreading the word, both in person and on social media, made a huge difference.
Finally, I’d like to pay tribute to everyone who read my debut novel – and especially those who wrote such kind reviews or contacted me directly to say they’d enjoyed it. It’s amazing to be able to connect with readers and to hear that my words have meant something to them. I hope you like this book just as much.
How do you leave the person you love the most?
A heart-rending story about a father’s love for his daughter.
About the Author
Former journalist S.D. Robertson quit his role as a local newspaper editor to pursue a lifelong ambition of becoming a novelist. His debut novel, Time to Say Goodbye, was published to rave reviews in 2016.
An English graduate from the University of Manchester, he’s also worked as a holiday rep, door-to-door salesman, train cleaner, kitchen porter and mobile phone network engineer.
Over the years Stuart has spent time in France, Holland and Australia, but home these days is back in the UK. He lives in a village near Manchester with his wife and daughter. There’s also his cat, Bernard, who likes to distract him from writing – usually by breaking things. If Ever I Fall is his second novel.
Also by S.D. Robertson
Time To Say Goodbye
About the Publisher
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street
Sydney, NSW 2000, Australia
http://www.harpercollins.com.au
Canada
HarperCollins Canada
2 Bloor Street East - 20th Floor
Toronto, ON, M4W, 1A8, Canada
http://www.harpercollins.ca
New Zealand
HarperCollins Publishers (New Zealand) Limited
P.O. Box 1
Auckland, New Zealand
http://www.harpercollins.co.nz
United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London, SE1 9GF
http://www.harpercollins.co.uk
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
195 Broadway
New York, NY 10007
http://www.harpercollins.com
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