“That’s none of your business,” I said, closing the door, locking it, and running to our cordless house phone. I tried Mom’s cell, but there was no answer. Then I tried Dad’s cell and again, no answer. These people at the door creeped me out, and I didn’t know what to do. Finally, I tried Brynn’s cell.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Brynn! Mom and Dad aren’t here, and there’s some people at the door who want to come in. Do you think I should let them in?”
“What? No, don’t let anyone in. Who are they?”
“I don’t know. Two of them are police, and there’s a lady.”
There was a brief pause, and I could hear music pumping and people talking and laughing in the background. “Let me talk to them.”
I opened the door. When the officers and the woman heard the creak of the screen door opening, they stopped their hushed conversation and turned to look at me.
“Here.” I handed Miss Arnold our phone. “My sister wants to talk to you.”
“Thank you, Chloe.” She took the phone and walked far enough away so that I couldn’t hear what she said.
The looks on the officers’ faces made me nervous. One of them was a younger man, maybe around the same age as Brynn or a few years older, and the other must’ve been about Dad’s age. A sadness reflected in both sets of eyes as they looked down at me, giving me tight-lipped, fake-assed smiles. Why were they so sad?
We stood there for several minutes in silence while I unsuccessfully strained to hear the conversation between my sister and Davila Arnold. As I traced my big toe along a crack that had developed in our concrete porch, I thought about how strange it was that the officers weren’t saying anything to me or to each other. Police officers were supposed to make you feel safe. These two made me feel anything but safe.
“I’m so sorry, Miss McCarthy,” I vaguely heard Miss Arnold say to my sister as she began walking back toward us. “We’ll stay until you get here… Yes… Here she is.”
I took the phone, unable to control the quiver in my voice, “Brynn, what’s going on?”
“Let them in, Chloe,” my sister sniffled, her voice cracking. “I’ll be there in two hours.”
After hanging up, I opened the door and did as she said. The police officers came inside first, followed by Miss Arnold.
She placed her hand on my shoulder, “Is there somewhere we can sit down?”
“Okay,” I said, unable to control my shaking hands, as I led them to the living room. What was so important that I had to let these strangers in our house? Or that my sister had to immediately come home from college? And if it was so important, why weren’t Mom or Dad here?
“Have a seat,” she said, motioning for me to sit on the couch as if this were her home and I was the guest.
She sat down next to me, while the young officer found a place on the ottoman, and the older one took a seat on the piano bench.
“We have some difficult news,” she said softly. “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, Chloe. There was an accident with the hot air balloon your parents were riding in this afternoon. As a result, your mom and dad have died.”
~~~
I still hadn’t spoken a word by the time my sister arrived two hours later. I hadn’t cried either. Miss Arnold and the officers must’ve known I was in shock because even though the tears didn’t come, the officers tried to console me, speaking comforting words and asking if I needed anything. They even turned the TV on to try to distract me, but I just hugged my knees to my chest and buried my face in them, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to force myself awake. Because this couldn’t be happening for real. It had to be a dream, and I wanted to get out of it.
All I could think about was the way Mom always smiled with her eyes and how she was the only one who knew how to make oatmeal the right way. I thought about Dad’s warm hugs, his deep belly laugh, and the way he could always talk Mom into letting me have extra screen-time, especially when I did something nice.
After a while, I began to wonder, if they were really gone, who would help me with my homework and take me to volleyball practice. And then I thought about what a horrible person I must be to think of myself in a time like this. So I started thinking about the accident. How exactly did they die? Did they suffer?
Little did I know, I’d have the “privilege” of witnessing it on video the following day.
All the while, I reinforced in my mind the fact that if this wasn’t a dream, it had to be some kind of cruel prank, like the ones you see on the Internet. Parents the ages of mine don’t die, and if they do, it’s never together at the same time and never because of some freak accident. It’s always cancer or car crashes.
Yes, it must be a prank. Something as unrealistic as a freaking hot air balloon accident could have no other explanation. I almost expected Mom and Dad to walk through the door when my sister opened it and entered the house. And when I saw that it was her and not them, I finally broke down.
Brynn rushed to my side, and I buried my face on her shoulder, the distinct smell of her Victoria’s Secret spritz flooding my mind with memories of when she used to live with us and making it feel like she’d never left. It had only been seven months since she moved away for school, but it wasn’t the same here without her. I could tell her things I could never tell Mom, especially about boys, and she always understood and helped me through it.
“We’ll give you two a few minutes,” Miss Arnold said.
“I’m sorry it wasn’t me, Chlo,” she squeezed me tightly. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t the one to tell you. Miss Arnold said it would be best if the news came from someone outside the family, but the whole drive here I kept thinking it should’ve been me. I should have made them wait. I’m so sorry.”
“What happened to them, Brynn? Do you know what happened? With the accident?”
“No, but I’m going to find out.”
She held me a while longer until Miss Arnold came back into the room with her files and folders. She sat down next to my sister, placed the pile of paperwork on the coffee table, and began sorting through it.
“I know this is a difficult time for you both,” she said between finger licks and paper shuffles, “but since Chloe is a minor, we have to discuss her options. As I said on the phone, Brynn, I am the Child Welfare Caseworker assigned to Chloe’s case, and I will be handling her placement. For now, we just need to find somewhere temporary for her to stay until we can get the ball rolling with legalities. How may we reach your grandparents?”
We didn’t have any. No aunts or uncles either. Without my parents, the only family we had was each other. That’s when the panic set in. I was old enough to know that the foster system was a bad place to be. What would happen to me?
Brynn must’ve noticed my muscles tense up and the blood filter out of my face because she took my hands right away. “Chloe, look at me.”
Her voice ripped me out of my racing thoughts.
“I’m going to take care of you, okay?” she reassured me, her words a faint whisper to the pounding in my ears.
I nodded.
“No matter what it takes, I will not let anything else bad happen to you. I promise.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
~Chloe~
Present Day
I spent the rest of my shift avoiding my sister, passing the VIP room off to Steph so I wouldn’t have to go back in there. When Brynn tried to approach me, I impulsively ran the other way and hid in the back office. My tips were shit, considering I made the evasion of my sister more of a priority than my tables, but I was willing to take that hit since it hurt much less than facing her would’ve.
I welcomed the relief that washed over me when I saw Ryan and Brynn leave the restaurant, but I wasn’t expecting the extreme emptiness that came with it. As much as I despised my sister for what she had done, and as determined as I was to never let her or anyone else cause me that kind of pain again, I desperately missed the relationship we used to have—prior to Ryan,
a relationship that I now know wasn’t what it seemed.
When my shift ended at 11:00 p.m., and I had a moment to think about what happened, a familiar restless energy flooded through me, putting me intensely on edge. Anxiety was something I’d dealt with since my parents’ deaths, but Brynn always had a way of bringing me down from it. After she betrayed me and I left home, however, it took on a whole new life, becoming especially active when faced with triggers like the one tonight. The only things I’d found to ease the agitation during the times it became too overwhelming were alcohol and sex.
Two things I needed in a major way at the moment.
After starting my car and cranking the heat, I began texting friends to find out where the action would be tonight. And I use the term “friends” lightly. More than anything else, the people I associated with were acquaintances who liked to go out to party as much as I did, but when it came to any sort of real relationship or obligation to another person, that simply didn’t exist in my world. The people I associated with had my back just as meagerly as I had theirs, which may sound harsh and undesirable to most, but it was exactly what I needed. My non-relationships worked for me. They gave me the exact level of comfort I required. No more, no less.
Just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to reach anyone, Emily responded to my text with a call.
“Hey, girl. Where you at?” she asked, her teeth chattering.
“Just got off work,” I responded. “Are you outside?”
“Yes! We’ve been waiting to get into Rain for almost an hour!”
We had been to the nightclub together several times following its launch over the summer. “Damn, Em! It’s freezing tonight! What is so important at Rain that you’re subjecting yourself to that?”
“I’m waiting to see my boyfriend.”
“Since when do you have a boyfriend?”
“Marc Davis is making an announcement here tonight! I love him!”
She said it like I knew the guy, but at first I had no clue who she was talking about. After racking my brain for a moment, I remembered how her social media pages were constantly draped in sexy photos of the famous TV reality star.
“Hey,” she continued, “don’t you know one of the bouncers here?”
Bingo. That’s why she responded to me when nobody else had. She wanted “in” to the club to see her crush and needed me to help. I had no qualms about it. I’d get her in, and she’d give me an entourage for appearance's sake. I’ll admit I’ve done many things to indulge my needs before, but walking into a bar or club alone was never one of them.
“Yeah, I can get you in, Em. How many people are with you?”
“Oh my God, Chloe, thank you! It’s just me and Elle.”
“Alright, I’ll make some calls, and I’ll be there in ten.”
Hopefully, Matt was working tonight. If not, I’d have to come up with a plan B.
After texting him and finding out that he was, in fact, at Rain, and that he’d make sure we got into the club, a tiny bit of my restlessness disappeared. But it wasn’t because my plan to get into the club would work; it was the thought of seeing him that calmed my nerves. Just knowing that fact filled a small piece of the emptiness inside.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
~ Chloe ~
Age 14
I should’ve been happier than this. Being asked to my first high school dance by the cutest boy in the freshman class should’ve had me jumping for joy. I had fantasized about this day since I was a young girl, ever since tagging along with my mom and Brynn to shop for dresses, watching as the salon ladies primped my sister’s hair and nails in preparation for her Homecoming and Prom.
Now that it was my turn to do all those things, I couldn’t seem to get excited about it. Life had changed since then. We couldn’t afford expensive dresses or have our hair and makeup done like we were some sort of celebrities anymore.
But I was okay with it because my sister made my own preparation better than I could’ve dreamed. She styled my hair, painted my nails, applied my makeup, and up until this point, I’d been having the time of my life getting ready with her. But now, as I stood in front of my bedroom door’s full-length mirror, and the reflection of a sad girl in an evolving body stared back at me, cloaked in her sister’s hand-me-down Prom dress, I felt nothing but loss.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the dress. I’ll never forget the magical moment that my sister came out of her room with this dress on all those years ago while my mother and I waited in anticipation. In a matter of minutes, the dress had changed her from looking like a girl to looking like a woman.
My wearing it now made me feel like I could be just like her someday. I traced my fingers along the tight, strapless neckline of the silvery grey top, admiring the way it contrasted with the white, mid-thigh length, flowing bottom of the dress. I was thankful that my sister was so similar in body shape and size when she was my age that we didn’t have to worry about spending any money on a fitting.
“Chloe, are you okay in there?” Brynn asked through the closed door. I wondered if she heard me sniffling.
I dabbed the corners of my eyes with the tissue from my nightstand, irritated with myself for letting my tears smudge the makeup my sister had worked so hard on.
I opened the door, determined to tell her I was fine, but lost all reasoning when I saw the empathy in her eyes.
“They should be here for this,” I confessed, barely able to hold myself together.
“Oh, sweetie,” she enveloped me in her arms. “I know. I’m so sorry.”
I sighed, breathing in the strength that radiated from her, afraid that if I spoke again, I’d break.
“This is a big day for you, Chlo. It’s a milestone—your first Homecoming dance—and I know how hard these events are for us. You need to be strong, though, okay? Remember what I told you.”
“I know. It’s our new normal.”
She nodded, “And just because our normal is different from everyone else’s, doesn’t mean it’s any better or worse than theirs. I’m so proud of you for thinking of Mom and Dad today. Remembering them at times like this is what helps us to keep them in our hearts. And it’s okay to grieve the loss of how we thought our lives would be, but don’t you dare use them as an excuse not to have the best damn time of your life tonight. They wouldn’t want it that way. Okay?”
There she went trying to fix things again. I smiled at the thought that Mom and Dad were here watching us. They would be so proud of her. I hoped they would be proud of the woman I was becoming too.
“Okay,” I replied, trying my best to shake it off. “Does that mean I won’t have a curfew tonight?”
“Nice try.”
“C’mon, Brynn. I’m in high school now. And this is a special event. You said it yourself, it’s a milestone. I can handle it.”
She laughed, “Not gonna happen. Nothing good comes from teenagers staying out after midnight.”
I rolled my eyes and playfully rebutted, “Says the twenty-year-old. There is no way you will convince me that you don’t remember what it’s like to be a teenager because—you know—you were one six months ago.”
“You’re fourteen, Chloe. That’s a little different than nineteen.” She gave me the look that said she’d had enough of this conversation.
“Got it, boss.”
“Oh my God, I can’t believe I almost forgot! Wait here.” She hurried out of my room and down the hall to our parents’ room.
I fixed my smudged makeup as I waited for her. When she returned, she had her hands behind her back and a radiant smile on her face.
“Turn around and hold up your hair,” she instructed.
I did as she said. She weaved her way through my arms and clasped a necklace around my neck. When done, she turned me around so that we both faced the mirror. Other than being a little taller, a bit more developed, and having a few extra years of age on her, she looked almost exactly like me. We both had our mother’s platinum hair and petite build and our
father’s ice blue eyes.
She was the one getting emotional now, bringing her fingers to her lips, tears pooling in her eyes. “Do you know what this is?”
I laced the strand of white pearls in my fingers, remembering, and nodded, “Yeah. Didn’t you wear them to your Senior Prom?”
“I did. Mom let me borrow them. It was Dad’s wedding gift to Mom. She wore it when they got married. I think you should wear them tonight.”
I smiled, beyond grateful to have Brynn in my life. Without her, who knows where I’d be. “They’re perfect, Brynn. Thank you so much.”
The doorbell rang, breaking our train of thought, and we squealed in excited delight. My date had arrived.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
~Matt~
Present Day
I had never seen Rain this packed before. I’d done security at this nightclub for special events, but none ever had this kind of turn out. The stars of American Muscle, the hottest muscle car reality show in the country, gathered in our private loft bar, closed off from the club below by a glass wall, while their audience packed the front of the house and dance floor, not-so-patiently awaiting the special announcement planned for midnight tonight.
I had seen their show a few times, and each episode followed the same premise. The show’s stars buy a decrepit classic car and custom-rebuild it in their Las Vegas shop, selling it for thousands in profit at auction. The show started out attracting only guys like me who dug classic cars, but it gained a truly significant following a few seasons later, when the father/son shop owners stopped seeing eye-to-eye following rumors of the son’s drug habit and a verified sex video that was released to the press by one of his many groupies. After that, the show began to focus more on their relationship than the cars.
Apparently, the wholesome dad didn’t enjoy that kind of publicity. Ratings have been skyrocketing ever since, though, with the son, Marc Davis, becoming one of reality TV’s hottest stars. It was the only show of its kind that had just as large of a female following as it did a male. In addition to the family drama, Marc’s movie star looks and bad-boy persona were largely to thank for that.
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