by Connor Mccoy
But their advisers had gone. The dream relived the same scene every time. She and Sally had been asked to see if they could get the generator started, even though they protested that they never even had seen a generator before. Together they’d climbed the metal ladder to the roof where the generator room was located. The rungs were hot and burned her bare hands. She should have asked if there were work gloves anywhere.
Heat waves radiated from the tar covering the roof and she was sweating before they reached the door to the generator room. Luckily, someone had left the padlock open so they didn’t have to break in, but once in the generator room they were completely stymied. This is where the dream varied. Sometimes there had been no instructions, nothing to indicate the steps for starting the huge motor, just as it was that day. She and Sally had had to climb back down in defeat.
In this version of her dream, the room was empty, and Mia struggled to wake up. This was where the dream always became worse than what actually had happened. They searched the bare walls for a secret door or a sign that said what to do. They were examining the concrete slab, inch by inch, looking for something that would tell them what to do, when an adviser and her boyfriend from administration came in. Although in real life, they would not have climbed the steel ladder.
“Why haven’t you started the generator yet?” the woman had whined at them. “Even an idiot could have started it by now.” She turned to her boyfriend. “They always hire incompetents these days. The other custodian never took this long.”
“It’s ridiculous,” he said, “we never should have let him leave. These stupid girls are no use.”
Mia wanted to protest that the generator wasn’t here, and they hadn’t been given enough time to find it, but her mouth wouldn’t open. The man grabbed Sally around the neck, dragged her across the roof, and pitched her over the side. The woman had hold of Mia’s hair and was pulling her out of the room, backward. Mia resisted with every ounce of her strength, but the adviser was stronger than she was, and Mia was off-balance too.
She was pushed over the edge.
Mia awoke, sweating and breathing rapidly. The real memory of that day was fresh in her mind, the way it always was after the dream. The generator had been there, but they’d been unable to start it. The adviser and her boyfriend had screamed abuse and slapped Sally across her face. The boyfriend had said they were useless and should be ejected from the community.
“If you are so perfect,” Mia had blurted out, “go up there and start it yourself.”
“That’s not my job.” The adviser looked shocked. “I have other things to do.”
“We have to keep things running,” the man had said. “We have responsibilities. We can’t be climbing roofs and starting generators, even though it would only take us a minute.”
Another adviser had heard the ruckus and had come to lead her and Sally away. Sometimes in the dream, the adviser killed the pair in some particularly gruesome way. In real life, she and Sally had left the college that same day and she didn’t know what had happened to the pair. She hoped they’d gotten what they deserved.
Now, she lay in deep shadow, the sun low on the horizon. She’d slept the entire day away. She looked around to see Sally helping Christian to drink some water. Pills! She’d forgotten his second dose of pills! She felt around in her pockets, becoming more and more panicked.
“I’ve got them,” Sally called over. “He’s had his second round.”
Mia looked at her, confused. How did Sally know what Christian needed?
“You don’t remember waking up, do you?” Sally asked. “You sat bolt upright around midday and told me not to forget Christian’s capsules. You even told me how many and when. I guess your subconscious was worried you wouldn’t wake up. Which you did not.”
“Which I did not,” Mia repeated. She couldn’t believe she’d gone to sleep before making sure one of them could keep Christian on schedule.
“Hey,” Sally said, “it’s okay. You took care of it, and I followed through. You don’t have to beat yourself up over it.” She lowered Christian’s head back to the ground.
“Do you think we could make it back to Glen’s cabin?” Sally asked. “Christian would be safer there while he heals.”
“Maybe,” Mia replied, “but I think we need to rescue Glen and take him with us. He risked his life for Christian and me.”
“I don’t think we can do that until Christian is better,” Sally said. “We can’t leave him sleeping in the woods. Another bear could come along and kill him.”
“I don’t actually think a wild animal would come near him while he smells of infection,” Mia said. “They know better than to eat infected flesh.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Sally countered. “Wolves pick off the weakest animals, often the sick or injured. And if they are injured, they are bound to have an infection. And vultures too. They’ll eat anything.”
“I’m not sure there are vultures around here,” Mia said, “but I guess we’d better not leave him behind. Although I’m almost positive wild animals stay away from diseased flesh. I took that class in wildlife biology, remember?”
“You were high in college,” Sally said. “You probably aren’t remembering correctly.”
“I was only high in the boring classes,” Mia said. “Not biology. I like biology.”
“Well, I don’t think we should leave Christian in any case,” Sally said. “What if he wakes up and is thirsty? Or has to pee and walks over a cliff or something in his delirium?”
“I already said we wouldn’t leave him,” Mia said. “but that doesn’t solve the problem of where to stay while he’s healing.”
“I bet there are some empty houses around the town. You know, a mile or two from the walls? We could stay there if we didn’t light a fire or have light at night. We’d be out of the elements,” Sally said.
“One of us would have to go on a scouting mission,” Mia said. “We couldn’t both go because of Christian.”
“Duh,” Sally said and pursed her lips. “You went into the town. So, I guess it’s my turn to do the dangerous thing. Fair is fair.”
“No. I think I’m better suited for scouting,” Mia said. “I’m smaller and faster. Less likely to be seen.”
“Less likely to be seen? Hah!” Sally snorted. “That hair of yours sticks out a mile. I just blend in.” She ran her hand over her brownish hair. “And I can be really quiet and still when I need to be.”
“But do you have the patience to sit and watch a house for hours at a time? You’ll have to make sure no one is there before you enter.” Mia squinted her eyes. “You aren’t famous for measured decisions, you know.”
“I can be as measured as you are,” Sally said. “I do know what is at stake here. Anyway, Christian would be happier with you here. He worries about you.”
“He worries about you too,” Mia said. “And you can keep him calmer than I can.”
Sally laughed.
“You’ll say anything to keep me from going,” she said. “You know that’s not true.”
Mia shrugged.
“Let’s decide in the morning,” she said. “There is no point in worrying about it now. It will be fully dark soon.”
“All the more reason to decide tonight,” Sally said. “One of us should be off at first light.”
“We both can get up at first light, and then flip a coin or something,” Mia said. “We shouldn’t sleep while it’s light out. Someone may come along and find us.”
“True enough,” Sally said. “But don’t you dare get up and leave without waking me. We have to draw straws.”
“Okay,” Mia said. “I promise.” But she already was thinking of how to break the promise, without really breaking the promise. “We should wake up Christian and make him eat something, and give him his pills. How much of the bread do we have left?”
“I’ve got about four loaves,” Sally said. “You?”
“Another four. And I know where Glen le
ft his backpack, he’s probably got some. I think we are okay for food. At least we won’t starve to death yet. Although I’d really love something besides bread,” Mia said.
“You know what I miss?” Sally asked. “Apple pie. I’m dying for some apple pie.”
“Ice cream,” Mia said with longing. “Chocolate ice cream in a really fresh sugar cone.”
“I wonder if there is any chocolate left in the world?” Sally mused. “Do you think people who live where cocoa grows still can make chocolate?”
“Wouldn’t do us any good,” Mia said. “By the time it made the journey here it would be worth too much. We couldn’t afford to barter for it.”
“I know, but the thought of a world with no chocolate is too depressing. I wonder if we could get a seed and grow a plant indoors? How hard could it be?” Sally asked.
“I don’t know,” Mia said. “But I don’t want to think about it. We need to wake Christian.”
Mia helped Sally wake Christian and support him in a half-sitting position so he could swallow some food and medicine. She thought for a minute he was going to vomit it all up again, but he made an effort and kept it down. They laid him back on the grass and he was asleep immediately.
Mia lifted his shirt and removed the dressings. The wound was better than yesterday, thank goodness. The red streaks were shorter and had faded some. She pressed on the sides of the gash and, although pus still oozed from it, the volume had decreased. She took a deep breath and let out a sigh. The antibiotics were working.
“Is something wrong?” Sally asked, her eyebrows drawn together and fear in her eyes.
“No, for once something is going right,” Mia said. She smiled at Sally, and turned her attention back to Christian, cleaning and re-bandaging his wound.
Chapter Nineteen
When Mia opened her eyes the next morning, Christian already was awake and sitting up. He smiled at Mia and put a finger to his lips, motioning to where Sally lay sleeping.
“Let’s not wake her up,” he whispered. “She was whimpering in the night. I think she’s having bad dreams.”
Mia understood about bad dreams only too well. She nodded and stretched, then rose quietly to find a spot in the woods to pee. Growing up, she never would have suspected that she’d one day be urinating in the woods with no toilet paper at hand. It was not a welcome change.
When she got back Sally still was asleep. So she sat close to Christian, leaning against him and offering him travel bread for breakfast. It had been so long since she’d last had coffee that her body no longer craved caffeine, but she still sometimes missed the ritual. The smell of the coffee brewing, stirring in cream and sugar, the bittersweet taste of the hot liquid on her tongue. She looked at the travel bread in her hand and tried to be grateful that she had something to eat.
“I was going to get up and leave you and Sally here,” she whispered to Christian. “But if you are well enough to travel, we should probably all stick together. What do you think?”
“I’m not sure how far we’ll get,” he said, “but I agree that we should stick together. Are you thinking of heading back to Glen’s cabin?”
Mia shook her head. “We are going to look for an empty house somewhere not too far from the town,” she said. “We want to rescue Glen.”
“Do you think that is wise?” Christian asked. “We could get caught.”
“We’ll have to spend some time watching the town,” Mia said. “But he saved your life and I think we owe it to him.”
“We don’t owe anyone anything.” Christian snapped. “Haven’t you listened to a word I’ve said? There is ruthless competition for resources. The only people you need consider are your family. That’s you, me, and Sally now.”
“And if it wasn’t for Glen, it would just be me and Sally, because you’d be dead. He knew that we had come to take everything he had, and he helped us! I’m not willing to give up every bit of my humanity,” Mia said, her voice rising.
“Nor am I,” Sally said, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “And he told us how to stop our periods. That’s really big.”
“Do we have to talk about women’s private doings?” Christian asked, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“I don’t care what you want to hear,” Sally said, getting up and pointing her finger at him. “If we don’t have our periods, not only do we not have to improvise feminine hygiene products – and I’d like to see you have to do that -- but we can’t get pregnant. That is potentially life-saving. I’d rescue Glen for that alone. But you,” she shoved her finger in his direction, “would be dead! Isn’t that worth something to you? You’ve never been risk-adverse before.” She turned and stomped off into the woods.
Christian looked mutinous and Mia wondered if he would strike out for Glen’s cabin on his own. Or if he even could find it. She was not sure she’d be able to make it back to Glen’s place. There were too many twists and turns, and the woods all looked pretty much the same.
“Fine,” she said to Christian, “you do what you want, but I’m going to help Glen. Reciprocity is what makes the world worth living in, if you ask me, which you didn’t. When Sal is ready to go, we are taking off.” She turned back to her backpack, stowing the things she lifted out when looking for the bread. She kept her head down, hoping he wouldn’t see she was crying.
“Jesus Christ!” Christian exploded. “Where is your sense of self-preservation? You do know this is a suicide mission, don’t you?”
“Not if we are smart about it,” Mia said. “I made it out last time, didn’t I? And I know what we are up against now. Which is more than I can say for you.”
Mia didn’t know why she was goading him. Christian was everything to her now, and she would not leave the man who had saved his life to languish and possibly die in that town. Christian didn’t have to come with them, but if he didn’t, she knew she might never see him again. She should be appealing to his honor, not shoving his face in her superiority. Shouldn’t she?
“I’m ready,” Sally said as she emerged from the undergrowth.
“You haven’t eaten,” Mia said.
“I can eat as we walk,” Sally said. “Christian can’t walk fast enough to give me indigestion.”
“Christian is not coming,” Mia said. “He’s heading for Glen’s cabin.”
“I didn’t say that,” Christian countered angrily.
“Didn’t you? That’s what it sounded like to me,” Mia countered. “Your sense of self-preservation is fully intact. Right?”
“I don’t think it’s the wisest course of action,” Christian said. “But if you won’t come with me, then I’ll have to go with you. I won’t watch the two of you go off on your own. You might need me.”
“I might need you?” Mia was indignant. “What about Glen? You know, the man who saved your life? He needs you.”
“Just be happy I’m coming,” Christian said, smiling at her. “And don’t obsess about who I’m coming for. Gift horse.” He raised an eyebrow at her.
“Fine. Let’s get going then.” She settled her pack on her back.
“What about Glen’s pack?” Sally asked. “Shouldn’t we bring it?”
“I don’t see how we can,” Mia said. “We each already have a pack to carry.”
“Distribute the stuff between our three packs,” Christian said, “and I’ll carry his empty pack strapped to mine. We might need the stuff.”
Mia dropped her pack to the ground and went off to find Glen’s pack where they’d left it at the top of the trail. She dragged it back, it was uncommonly heavy, and started divvying up the contents.
“Wow,” she said as she pulled the gun and ammunition from the pack, “no wonder this thing was so heavy.”
“Did you know he brought a gun?” Sally asked. Her forehead was lined with worry.
“He was smart to bring a gun,” Christian said. “He knew our plan was to murder him and take what we could. He was protecting himself.”
“Why bother bringing us here if his plan was to kill us?” Mia asked. “Why not just kill us as we slept or something?”
“He was giving us a chance,” Christian said. “He’s a doctor. It’s not in his nature to kill people. But if we had tried ambushing him once I was well? I think he would have done what he needed to protect himself from us.” He took the gun and ammunition and put it in his own pack. “Can’t blame him for that.”
“We shouldn’t have confessed,” Sally said. “We should have pretended to be decent people.” She took a third of the items from Glen’s pack and stowed them in her own.
“Water under the bridge.” Christian hoisted his pack. “Let’s get moving.”
The dream of Clarence’s room still was vivid in Glen’s mind, which was a little unusual. He thought about what it might mean. Why would Sarah lead him into a room where Christian, Mia, and Sally had taken the place of Clarence? Why hadn’t she taken Glen with her? It was all that he wanted, to be with Sarah and Clarence again.
Of course, it didn’t matter what he wanted. What mattered was what Sarah was trying to tell him. The trio still were just children and they needed him. It was the only thing that made sense. He was to teach them how to live without taking advantage of others. A self-reliant life without stealing and murdering. No taking advantage of people weaker than themselves. They must learn to live in the wilderness, where they won’t be at the mercy of the more powerful, unscrupulous people. He had to save them.
He sat up carefully in the dark. He couldn’t tell where he was or what dangers might lurk in the dark. His head was throbbing and he ached from lying on the hard floor. Wood, he thought, feeling the rough texture under his fingers. He reached out into space and felt nothing on the right, in front, or behind him. But on the left there was a wall. He moved his butt until his back was against the wall. He felt safer that way.
