by Ana Jolene
Rissa latched onto her. “Oh, come on, Maison! You know I won’t tell anyone! Besides, you’re the only one I can talk to about these things.”
A surge of sympathy hit her as she thought of the lack of people in Rissa’s life. “Where is your mother anyway?” Rissa hadn’t mentioned her at all lately.
Rissa’s expression turned shuttered. “I don’t know.”
“She hasn’t checked in on you?”
When Rissa shook her head, Maison’s frown deepened. What kind of mother didn’t even check in with her own child?
“Hey, don’t try to change the subject! I want to know what happened.”
With a roll of her eyes, Maison sighed. “Fine, I’ll tell you but this is just between you and me, okay?” When the teen nodded, Maison filled her in on the trip to London and the charity event. The same set of emotions she’d felt the night before returned in a rush.
God, she’d acted so terribly! What had she been thinking? Did she really believe that a man like Hutch would actually want a girl like her? She’d allowed herself to believe that she could actually have all that, to have people look at her like she was some special beauty all dressed up with a red dress and fancy shoes. But inside, she was still the same shy, plain Maison Lane who blushed at every word.
And when Hutch had pulled her onto the dance floor, she remembered all the confused gazes on her. No one obviously expected her to be in his arms, let alone be on the dance floor with him. Then, Hutch had kissed her and she hadn’t known how to react.
She was so stupid! Why had she run? Too many emotions had been swirling around in her head and she didn’t know how to deal with them.
God, she was so stupid!
When she’d first started working as an assistant to Matthew, people had asked her why she’d bothered putting up with him. Everyone knew Matthew to be harsh and demanding, and not worth the effort. Some had even thought it was because she wanted a way into their family, as if being Matthew’s assistant had elevated her status somehow and she could go on pretending like she lived a different life.
But her life was still the same as ever. And until recently, she’d managed to keep work and her personal life separate.
Oh, Hutch.
Her heart squeezed again at the thought of him. She hated how she’d run from him, but realization had hit her when he started to kiss her. All these emotions she’d felt while around him, all those times she’d been nervous, it was because she’d done what she’d said she’d never do.
She told herself that she wasn’t going to get involved, that she would keep a professional distance from him, but all the trip to London had done was make her fall in love with him even more!
God, what the hell? She’d known the guy for years, and although she’d noticed his good looks and killer charm, she’d been smart enough to realize that he was out of her league then. So why the hell was she acting so stupid now?
“Wow,” Rissa said when she finished. “That really does suck.”
Maison dropped her head in her hands. “I know!” she cried. And worst of all, she would have to face him tomorrow at work. “I’m so stupid! I don’t know what came over me!”
Rissa reached for her. “Hey, it’s okay. I get the feeling that you don’t lose control often. You just panicked, that’s all.”
“I just don’t know how I’m going to face him again now. He’s my boss’s son! I should’ve known better than to go with him!”
“You did it because you like him, and there’s nothing wrong with that. So maybe it didn’t work out the first time but not all risks are bad, Maison. Sometimes they are worth it in the end.”
Maison blinked, blindsided by the teen’s words. They were so wise for her age.
Except it wouldn’t be that easy for her. For all her life, she’d been raised to believe that risk-taking was dangerous. It’d always resulted in disastrous consequences for her. And so far, following her mind, not her heart, had worked out in her favor.
And the one night she’d actually allowed herself to enjoy had blown up in her face. Maybe she was better off sticking to her boring, safe life.
Maison straightened and did her best to recompose herself. She had to stop acting like a whiny baby. She was the adult and she shouldn’t be wallowing like a teenage over the mistakes she’d made with some guy.
After compartmentalizing her worries, she refocused on their task. “Okay. Let’s get back to work.”
She ignored Rissa’s protests and resumed cutting out the cardboard pieces they needed.
Hutch wasn’t sure what to expect when he arrived at work on Monday. Would Maison be in? Would she ignore him again? The other night had ended so badly that he wasn’t sure what to expect now. Not only that, but he wondered what other people were saying about her abrupt departure.
His anxiety eased when he caught sight of her at her desk, already hard at work. Despite the roiling emotions he was feeling, a small smile quirked his lips. It was just like her to come to work and pretend like nothing had happened.
Maison, ever the professional.
She was talking to someone else but she did shoot him a small smile as he walked by. That was good, right? That meant she wasn’t mad at him. Hutch waited patiently until the person left. “Hey. Can we talk?”
For the briefest moment, her mouth dipped down in a frown but then she nodded. “Let’s find a quiet spot.”
Good idea. There were people who were staring already. He followed her to an area away from the rest of the office.
Already his heart was beating in his chest and his palms grew clammy but he wasn’t going to back out now. He opened his mouth to speak first, but she beat him to it. “I’m so sorry about the other night. I don’t know what came over me.”
He blinked. “Wait, what? I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m so sorry, Maison! I didn’t mean to scare you off like that. Do you want to tell me what happened?” He’d been so worried that he hadn’t slept at all that night.
“I just had a lapse in judgment that’s all.”
Hutch stiffened at her cool tone. He didn’t believe that. How could the epic, soul-burning kiss on the dance floor have been a simple “lapse in judgment” for her? He felt like it had changed his life.
Stepping forward, he tried to get her to look at him. When she did, he searched her eyes for that sparkle he’d seen the other night. To his disappointment, her beautiful eyes were devoid of it. “Come on, Maison. What happened between us was magical.” Maybe if he could get her to admit that she wanted him too, they could salvage what was between them.
But to his disappointment Maison turned away. He could see the flush crawling up her chest and cheeks and he relished the sight. Despite how cold she was being, he could still affect her.
Hutch drew his finger up and gently turned her head so that she was facing him again. “We have chemistry, Maison. The explosive, soul-burning kind. Please don’t throw it away.” He wasn’t sure that he’d be able to survive it.
He also knew he was pushing her, but he’d continue to do it if that was what she needed to admit her feelings for him.
Hutch held her gaze, hoping, praying that what he was saying would get through to her. However, it looked like Maison had already made her decision.
Dammit!
“Hutch, what’s wrong?”
He realized with a start that he was shaking. For a moment, he thought it was due to his devastation, but then he realized it wasn’t. No, he was shaking because he was angry. He drew in a breath. “You’re making a mistake, Snowflake. You don’t always have to be lonely.”
“Who said I was lonely?” Maison shot back.
“I can see it in your eyes. You want this. So why are you fighting it? Why don’t you ever let yourself have some fun?”
Instead of answering this question, she countered with, “You’re trouble, you know that?”
A wide grin spread over his face. Was she cracking? Could he actually convince her to go out with him a
gain? “I’m no trouble at all,” he said with all the innocence he could muster. “The only trouble you’ll have is if you try to ditch me, ’cause I’ll keep pestering you until you agree to go out with me again.”
“I haven’t gone out with you.”
He grabbed her wrists and brought them to his chest. “Then let’s do it. Give me a chance. Come on, Snowflake. One drink, that’s all I’m asking.”
“One drink? Really?” She looked adorably skeptical.
“Yes. Just one. If you’re really sorry about what happened, you’ll have a drink with me.”
He could see her debating with herself. Please just give me a chance. He really wanted to make things up to her. After a long debate with herself, she said, “Okay, fine.”
“Yeah? You’ll have drinks with me?” He couldn’t hide his surprise.
Maison rolled her eyes. “Yes! Do I have to repeat myself?”
“Great, we’ll head to my favorite place after work.”
“Wait, you mean today? But it’s Monday.”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” Hadn’t she heard of happy hour?
Maison shook her head, but her lips were tilted up in an amused smirk. “You’re going to get me into trouble.”
He gave her a knowing smirk. “Ah, yes. But trouble worth your time.”
SEVENTEEN
What had she done? Maison had no idea why she had agreed to go with Hutch for drinks! Hadn’t she learned from her first mistake already that she couldn’t be around him? She didn’t fit into his life and pretending like she did would only make her seem more desperate than she really was.
Still, there was no doubt that she was addicted to his smile and dark eyes. He was like double-chocolate cake; she knew he was bad for her, but she still couldn’t stop herself from having a taste.
Like a gentleman, Hutch held the door open for her. She really wished he didn’t fuss over her like that. If he were a jerk then maybe it’d be easier for her to get over him. But no, he had to be all considerate and shit.
After he’d pulled out a chair for her to sit on, he asked her what she wanted to drink. “Don’t worry,” he said with a chuckle, “why don’t I just get you a beer?”
Maison nodded, feeling a flush wash over her face. God, what the hell was she doing in a bar? She didn’t even drink! She contemplated leaving when Hutch returned again with two beers. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked when he just sat there and stared at her.
“Sorry. I guess I’m just happy that you’re here with me.” He had to stop being so sweet to her. “So,” he said as he settled back into his chair and grinned. “Why don’t you tell me more about yourself?”
Maison shook her head. “You already know everything about me.” Besides, there was nothing exciting about her. She was just a normal woman.
“I’m pretty sure there are things about yourself that even I don’t know.”
“I don’t have any dirty secrets if that’s what you’re digging for.”
His eyes brightened. “Dirty secrets, that’s exactly what I want to hear!”
Despite her resistance, Maison found herself smiling. “Sorry, but I’m not sharing. What about you?”
“Where do you want me to start?” Hutch drawled and her grin widened.
She loved his easy-going attitude and the fact that he wasn’t really pressuring her. It was easier to let her guard down around him. “You know, you haven’t ever told me what happened to you while you were gone.”
Just like that, Hutch’s smile vanished. Uh oh. Had she done the wrong thing again? Although it’d been a while since Hutch had returned, no one really talked about what had happened to him and she’d always been curious but too afraid to ask. “I haven’t told anyone what really happened actually.”
“Hey, if you don’t want to talk about it, then that’s fine.” She respected him too much to invade his privacy.
“No, I don’t mind. It’s about time I talked to someone about it anyway.” Hutch let out a long sigh before speaking. “I was actually meant to come home a week before the ambush occurred,” he revealed. “But insurgents fired machine guns and threw grenades down at us. Unfortunately, one fell down the open hatch of our Stryker vehicle and exploded.”
Oh my God. She was sure her shock showed in her expression. Inside, she was shaking.
“I remember the blast,” he continued quietly. “My entire side was blanketed in shrapnel and a major artery was cut in the blast. Worst of all, my leg had to be removed.” His voice dropped an octave. “That was the hardest for me, spending months in the hospital alone.”
“Why didn’t you call your family?” She was sure they’d come to see him if they knew.
“I asked the doctors not to. Our family was never that close and we drew even further apart after Mom died. It would’ve felt strange if they were there. What if they didn’t even care?”
“Hutch! You can’t believe that! They’re your family! Of course they would care!”
“Maybe now they would. But back then, years would pass without us speaking to one another. I’m just glad Sam was there. She has helped me through it.”
Sam? Who was this Sam person and why was this the first time she’d heard about her?
Maison’s heart felt heavy in her chest. All she could think of was Hutch writhing with pain in a hospital bed with no one to help him but the nurses and doctors. How could he have thought that his family wouldn’t care that he’d gotten hurt?
“This might sound strange but I had the time of my life while I was there,” he mused. “Everything about it just fit me completely and I never felt out of place or alone. Every day I worked towards my goals and, really, being in the Army gave me a sense of purpose in my life.
“As much as I’m struggling with losing my leg,” he continued, “I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d still want to be there when the grenade blew up.” As Maison sat there speechless at the admission, the corner of his lips tipped up in a parody of a smile. “How’s that for a dirty secret?”
Oh God. Her heart hurt too much. She knew he’d suffered but she hadn’t known the extent of it. After learning the truth, Maison wanted to weep for him. She wanted to hold him and comfort him to make up for those moments when no one else did. She wanted to tell him that it was okay, because even with his leg missing, he was more of a man than all of the men she knew.
Hutch Happa-Hewitt was a hero in every sense of the word, but despite that title, a part of her knew that he’d rather be seen as a solider than a decorated hero slash amputee. Tears wetted her eyes but she wiped them away before he could see them. “So you’re saying that you want to go back . . .”
Hutch gave her a stern nod. “But I have to be able to perform to the same standards as all others serving in combat.” Her eyes grew wide at the picture he painted. She knew how challenging and rigorous their training was. She couldn’t imagine how someone without a leg could do it all. In his expression, she could see how much it was hurting him that he couldn’t do what he loved.
“For what it’s worth,” she whispered, “I think you can do it.”
“Thanks, but they already said no.”
“What?” She couldn’t hide her shock.
“Yeah, I didn’t make the cut.” He tapped his leg under the table. “Mobility is harder now and I can’t move as fast as I used to.”
When had he done it? And how could they have said no? Then she remembered the time when Matthew and Hutch had argued. It’d been the same night Dacey and Matthew had argued too, right before he disappeared for a few days. Was that why he’d been so upset? “You must be devastated.”
Hutch nodded again. “I am. But I think my father is relieved. He’d probably take my other leg off if it meant me staying with him.”
Despite the morbid topic, Maison laughed. That actually sounded like something Matthew would do.
Hutch grinned at her. “What about your parents? Are they as crazy as Matthew?”
Her smile disa
ppeared. She never brought up her parents much. They were both doctors and experts in their fields. They often strived for excellence, which normally wouldn’t be a cause for concern except that her parents took it to the extreme. They expected perfection in everything. In their marriage, in their workplace, and especially in their daughter. Maison hadn’t talked to them in over a year.
“Believe it or not, my parents make Matthew look like a saint.”
Hutch’s eyes went wide. “No way. That’s impossible.”
“Seriously. When I was in high school, they expected me to get straight A’s in everything. If I got a B, they wouldn’t sign the assignment. Instead they’d write a note telling the teacher it wasn’t good enough.”
“What! That’s insane!”
“Yeah,” she said softly. But at the time, she hadn’t known any better. She’d thought that all parents were like that and that she was just dumber than all the other kids her age. In an effort to please her parents, she’d forced herself to study harder. Luckily, it’d paid off and she got the straight A’s she’d wanted, but of course, she couldn’t be perfect all the time.
It wasn’t until she was older that she realized that her mother had been verbally abusing her. Her constant picking at her wasn’t normal and growing up in that environment had impacted her life greatly. In her teenage years, she grew quiet, shy. And her own self-esteem had plummeted to the ground under her mother’s care.
Now, Maison wondered what her mother would think if she saw her sitting here in this bar, having drinks with Hutch. She’d probably have an aneurysm. The thought made her grin. “You okay?” Hutch asked her as he leaned into the table. “Want another drink?”
“Sure, but let’s do shots this time.”
One of his dark brows rose. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
She nodded. “Absolutely.” She was already here. She might as well enjoy herself.
“Okay, but don’t have too many. We still have work tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
When the shots arrived, Hutch handed one to her and held his up in the air. “To dirty secrets,” he toasted.
