Running Target

by Kari Lemor

  She wiped the tiny bit of moisture that had pooled in the corner of her eyes as Jack came back into the room.

  “We brushed his teeth while we were in there.”

  “Oh, thank you.” Callie handed him the boy’s pajamas. “I should have mentioned it.”

  “Jonathan remembered. Apparently you have a good routine going for bedtime. He walked me through it. Even sang some little song about brushing your teeth. Not sure I got all the words right but this little guy knew what they were.”

  Jack blew a slew of wet kisses along the child’s face, causing a fit of giggles. As father and son laughed and Jack wrangled Jonathan into his pajamas, Callie’s heart bled at the sight of them together. Moving near the door allowed them time without her interference though she wanted to watch. Loved seeing them together.

  Jack sat in the rocking chair in the corner and deposited Jonathan on the floor. “Go get the story you want me to read.”

  Jonathan knew what he wanted. Grabbing it from his bookshelf, he toddled back. He scampered into Jack’s lap then rested his back against the strong chest of the larger version of him.

  Her breath caught at the resemblance between the two, growing stronger with time. Jack was a breathtakingly handsome man but this could cause problems. If Victor ever noticed, it’d be the end. Hopefully, in the two plus years, his memory of what Jack looked like had faded.

  The other problem was hers. It was difficult to look at a mini-Jack. What she’d lost and had little chance of getting back glared straight at her. Even if Victor was arrested and put away, would Jack want a relationship with her beyond that of sharing their son? Doubtful. She’d been a nice physical distraction while he’d been undercover but he wouldn’t want a forever after with a scared little mouse like her.

  The last two years he’d been distant during his infrequent visits and short online connections. He focused on their son, and didn’t appear to need anything from Callie. Not anymore.

  Jack settled Jonathan in his lap and opened the book, reciting the familiar words. The book was one of Jonathan’s favorites and Jack had read it to their son when he came on his first birthday. She had a picture of them sitting in the exact same spot.

  Turning, she ran downstairs to grab her phone to take a picture. Jonathan was a year older now and she liked to document any time they were together. The future was uncertain but she never wanted Jonathan to think his father didn’t love him. The agony in Jack’s voice on the night of Jonathan’s birth still rang in her memory. Her promise to tell Jonathan every day how much his father loved him was one she took seriously and intended to keep. No matter what.

  By the time she got back upstairs, Jonathan’s eyes were closed and he was sucking furiously on his thumb. She snapped a few pictures before Jack finished the story. When he was done, he closed the book, making no attempt to get up, move, or release Jonathan. His eyes were glued to the serene face of the now sleeping boy.

  Callie gave them a few moments then walked closer. She shook her head as the thumb started to slide from her son’s mouth then got drawn back inside for deeper sucking. “I’ve tried to get him to stop that habit but when he’s tired, it’s no use.”

  “He’s still little.” His eyes never left the sleeping boy’s face. “I used to suck my thumb. My mom said I didn’t stop until I was five or six.” After a few moments his eyes rose to hers and a crooked smile turned up one side of his mouth. “Not that you can tell anyone. I’ll deny every word.”

  “Ooh, blackmail information.” Her insides tingled at the teasing, and she was transported back to the few happy months when they were together. They used to joke around quite a bit. They’d talked about everything. Not dull conversations either. God, she missed it. Did he ever think about when they were together? Not that she’d ask him. It would be a reminder of what he’d lost out on. What they’d both lost.

  Sighing, Jack gazed at the sleeping boy. “I guess I should put him into bed, huh? I hate to let him go. You have no idea how much I miss him, Calico. Sometimes I think I’ll go stark raving mad with missing him.”

  He closed his eyes and lowered his head down near Jonathan’s. Inhaling deeply, smelling their son. Such a primitive thing to do but she did it all the time. The scent of your own baby was so powerful. Did Jack get the same intense feeling she did with the smell? This was yet another memory Jack had to take along with him until he could find his way back.

  Finally, he stood, settling the child under the covers Callie had turned down. He pulled up one sheet in deference to the warm night then kissed the boy on the cheek. His large hand settled on Jonathan’s head, sifting through his hair before he stood again. He didn’t move though and Callie’s heart broke at the thought Jack had to leave them again. Why couldn’t things have been different?

  A huge sigh slipped from Jack’s mouth as he turned away and walked to the door. Callie gave her son a small kiss and followed him, sliding the gate into place. She took one last glance at Jonathan but found she needed to go with Jack to make sure he was all right.

  He was already in the kitchen splashing water on his face. Had he shed a few tears? It wouldn’t be the first time, though he always tried to hide it. She’d allow him his sorrow. Understood it far too well.

  She glanced at the cake as he dried his hands. Jonathan had offered him some. “Are you hungry? Have you had anything to eat lately? It must have been a long drive.”

  His smile didn’t reach his lost and weary eyes. “I had something before I left for the trip.” Which would have been around noon if he’d come from Pennsylvania.

  “Then you need some food. I could cook something or we have cold cuts and rolls from the party. What would you like?”

  “Cold cuts are fine. Don’t go to any trouble. I can get them if you have things to do.”

  “Are you trying to get rid of me?” she teased, wanting a tiny bit of the camaraderie of before to come back. The crooked smile he threw her way made her heart melt as it had in the past.

  “Never,” he said, his eyes warm. Was there something more in them? No, it was her wishful thinking, nothing else.

  Moving about the kitchen, she got the deli meat out and made him a sandwich. She piled it high with meat, cheese, and tomatoes. Extra pickles went on since he loved them on a sandwich, though she had thought it disgusting. She placed it on the table and told him to sit.

  “I can take it with me if you need me out of here.”

  Shaking her head, she pointed to the chair. “Sit. You need to relax for a few minutes. You spent half the day getting here. Give yourself time to digest before you head back. How was the drive?” Mundane conversation was good. Safe.

  Jack sat and devoured a huge bite of the filled roll. He had to have been starving. Why hadn’t she offered food earlier? Having him close was much too distracting for her to think clearly.

  “It was long.” He made small talk about traffic and watched her bustle about the kitchen. Could he tell she wanted to touch him, hold him, kiss him? Hopefully, she hid it well. Acting on her desires would not be a good thing. They had caused trouble before.

  “Stop fussing about, Calico,” Jack ordered as he pulled out a chair next to him. “Sit down. We should talk.”

  Chapter 5

  Callie looked around the kitchen, noting Heather had done a great job of cleaning everything. There was nothing left to do. Sitting at the square wooden table on the side opposite Jack, she laced her hands together in her lap then repositioned them onto the surface of the table. Why was she this anxious? It was Jack. She texted him almost every week, had video chats a few times a month if possible, and sent him constant e-mails and shots of Jonathan. Why was sitting here so hard for her?

  Maybe because Jack was here in the flesh. The gorgeous, manly flesh. The snug t-shirt that showed off his lean muscles left little to the imagination and she was glad he was sitting because the faded jeans he
had on molded to his hips and thighs dangerously. It had been one of the first things she’d noticed when he’d walked in. His long legs had always caused butterflies in her stomach. Too much man for her to take in at one time. Especially when she knew it was taboo to have him now. Things had changed way too much.

  He took another big bite, chewed, then looked her in the eyes. It was unnerving.

  “How have you been, Callie?”

  “We’ve been fine.”

  “Jonathan’s awesome, I know. But how have you been? Are you getting by? Do you need me to send you more money?”

  She shook her head. Jack shouldn’t have to worry about her or Jonathan. He had enough to do in keeping away from anyone who worked for Victor. “You send us more than enough each month. You don’t have to do that. My parents were well off and left me plenty to buy this house. Plus I make an excellent salary. I got my CPA last year and because my boss allows me to work from home most days, I don’t have day care costs. I can get by without what you send. You can keep it if you need it.”

  “What do I need money for?” Jack grumbled. “I usually stay in the office trailer on the construction site. Aside from food and a few clothes, there’s not much else I require. I want to make sure you and Jonathan have enough to live on without having to give up too much.”

  “We’re fine,” she assured him. “With all I get from your cousin, I’m doing great financially.” She wouldn’t mention all the things Victor bought for them.

  “My cousin?” He frowned, confused. “Why is Scott giving you money? I told you I can send more. Scott pays me well enough I can afford to take care of my son.”

  “No, Jack, that isn’t what I meant.” Reaching out, she touched his hand, immediately feeling the electricity coursing through her. She didn’t pull away, teasing herself with the contact. “Scott doesn’t give me anything directly but Holland Construction has me do all their accounting work. And Scott has even sent a lot of his contractor friends my way. They all ask for me to do their books and my boss is thrilled at how much business I’ve brought in to the company. It’s one of the reasons he lets me work from home most of the time. I need to go in a few hours a week but that’s all.”

  He nodded and finished the last bites of his sandwich. She took the opportunity to study him. His shoulders sagged and there were dark circles under tired eyes. But not simply he-needed-a-good-night’s-rest tired. It looked like he had the weight of the world pressed down on his shoulders. And he did. What must it be like for him to always be looking behind him, wondering if someone would come along and take a shot at him? It scared the hell out of her knowing it could happen. One more reason for her to try and remain detached when it came to Jack. She couldn’t get any more emotionally involved than she already was.

  He stifled a yawn, wiped his mouth on a napkin then rose. After putting his plate in the sink, he washed his hands and turned to lean against the counter. “Thanks for the food. I guess I’d better be going now. I’ve taken up enough of your time. And thanks for letting me put Jonathan to bed and for all the news you send me. I appreciate it.”

  His shoulders rose and fell in a sigh then squared once again. How could she send him off to another five-hour drive? He’d only arrived here a few hours ago and it would be well past midnight before he reached his destination. That was insane, especially noting the fatigue blanketing his face.

  “Why don’t you stay here tonight?” Damn, what the hell am I thinking? Longing crossed Jack’s features and she regretted her words. She still desired him but this couldn’t happen again. “You can sleep on the couch or the recliner. It’s quite comfortable.”

  Conflict warred across Jack’s face, along with disappointment. Had he expected to share her bed? The memories of when they’d done so in the past flicked through her mind. Was Jack remembering similar things? Like their first time together?

  She’d invited him over one Friday night after work to watch a movie with her. Angelo had been away for the weekend and she’d wanted some company. Not that Angelo spent a lot of time with her anyway. He had other friends he’d rather be with. Jack had agreed and they’d gotten Chinese food and watched an old classic.

  She’d started to cry at one scene and he’d teased her. She’d playfully slapped at him and the resulting tussle was something she’d never forget. Before the movie ended, they’d stripped to their underwear and were kissing as passionately as the couple on the screen. They hadn’t stopped at kissing, and had ended up in her bed all night.

  Callie swallowed, remembering how gentle and tender he’d been. Her inexperience had been evident and he’d taken his time, making sure she was fulfilled and satisfied before he took his own pleasure. Callie had fallen irrevocably in love with him then, though she’d never said the words. Would they have made a difference? Or scared him enough to back off?

  Heat rose to her cheeks and she stood to wash the plate he’d left in the sink. He’d always been able to make her blush for the tiniest things. Even her memories of him did it. Nothing had changed.

  “It’s probably not a good idea for me to stay, but thank you for the offer. I’ll get a large coffee before I hit the highway and I’ll be fine. I’m on a motorcycle so the cool breeze will keep me awake. You don’t need to worry about me, Calico.”

  Callie dried her hands then moved closer. Danger, danger. Bad idea. Reaching out, she laid her fingers on his arm.

  “You look exhausted. A motorcycle is hardly safe when you’re tired. If you left now, I’d worry about you until I knew you were back safely. So if you stay here, I can go to bed, fall sound asleep, and be well rested. You can do the same and leave in the morning, after you’re well rested.”

  Did that sound reasonable? She was trying to keep emotion out of it, though with Jack it was never easy. Unfortunately, nothing with him had ever been easy.

  “Are you sure, Callie? I don’t want to put you out but I also don’t want you staying up worrying. I’d feel guilty keeping you from your beauty rest.”

  “Because I really need it?” She narrowed her eyes at him. Crossing her arms over her chest, she playfully pouted. “Maybe I don’t want you to stay anymore.”

  His hearty laugh took Callie’s breath away. She hadn’t heard Jack Holland laugh in far too long. Occasionally he’d chuckle if Jonathan did something silly during their video chats but it was usually much more subdued. His desire to be with his son, instead of seeing him on a video screen, always came through.

  “No, Callie,” he replied, his eyes intense as he became serious. “You could go for months without sleep and still be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. That hasn’t changed.”

  Her cheeks grew warm from his flattery. She never could resist when he complimented her. A grin slipped onto her face as she rolled her eyes. “Buttering me up so you can stay? Well, you can. I know Jonathan would be thrilled to see you again in the morning.”

  He looked concerned. “Is that a good idea or should I leave before he wakes up?”

  She shrugged. “I’m not sure, but if you can spend a few more minutes with him, wouldn’t you want to?”

  Jack took a step closer and she held her breath. Was he going to touch her? Did she want him to? Her body screamed yes while her mind shouted no. In the past, her body had always won out.

  “I want to spend every minute of every day with our son.” His voice was like sandpaper as he ran his hand down her arm. The shiver was involuntarily and she hoped he didn’t notice. He couldn’t know how much his presence still affected her. They needed to keep their distance, for their own safety and protection.

  She allowed herself the luxury of his touch for a moment longer, then stepped back. “I know you do. And Jonathan needs you to see him whenever you can manage it. It would mean the world to him to have you here when he wakes up. If you’re super good, maybe I’ll even cook some bacon. I remember how much you love it.”

&
nbsp; “Bacon.” He grinned, nodding his head. “You offer bacon and there’s no way I can refuse. You’ve got yourself a house guest for the night.”

  “Be warned, your son takes after you in lots of ways. He can eat more bacon than most two-year-olds. He might give you a run for your money.”

  Jack laughed again and pain sliced through Callie’s middle at the infrequency of it. He should be able to be happy and laugh, share in the life of his son. She turned so he couldn’t see her expression.

  “I’ll get you a blanket and a pillow. You can decide on the couch or the recliner.” She moved down the hallway and reached in the closet to grab the items. Turning to go back to the living room, she bumped into Jack who had followed right behind her. He reached out to steady her, his hands burning a path up her arms. “Oh, here you go. Will you need anything else?”

  The desire in his eyes as he stared at her told her what he needed. She needed it too, but she couldn’t allow it to happen. He reached for the pillow and blanket then moved back to the living room. She closed her eyes and released a sigh. After a few hours she was already deluding herself. Throw yourself in his arms. Kiss him senseless. More foolish thoughts followed. She wanted to lose herself in his touch and turn back time to before he was on the run.

  Let’s face it. You weren’t meant to be together. Fate wasn’t on their side. It probably never would be.

  When she walked into the living room, his six-foot-plus frame lounged on the too small couch, his booted feet draped over the edge. “Are you sleeping there? You can take off your boots, you know.”

  His tired eyes opened a fraction and one side of his mouth crooked up. “Simply testing out the sleeping arrangements. Kind of like Goldilocks seeing which bed is too hard and too soft. This one’s good but I think I’ll check out the recliner. As I recall it was quite comfy last time I was here, though I only stayed in it until Jonathan fell asleep.”