by M. Malone
She won't even look at me so I finally pull my phone out. Luke's name and number is displayed on the screen.
"Luke? Hey, I wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon." My newfound little brother has made his wishes to stay detached from the rest of us pretty clear. But considering his talents with accessing information that no one is supposed to have, I took a chance by sending him the pictures I snapped in Max's hotel room. I was counting on his sense of curiosity getting the better of him. He may not want to talk to Max but I'm sure he's wondered what the hell is going on just like the rest of us.
"I know but we need to talk. It's important."
"Were you able to get anything from the enhanced images?" The original shots were too dark and slightly blurry, probably from my haste in getting the pictures taken before I was caught. There aren't many people that I trust enough to confide in but luckily one of my best friends is a photographer. Josie was able to enhance the images enough for us to read the top part of a document in the drawer and to get an image that was on the bedside table in a frame.
"Yeah, I did. I ran the names on that letter. Can I come over?"
I glance around. I told Zack that I was involving Luke but we haven't mentioned it to anyone else. Tank and Finn have no idea and I definitely don't want it coming out in the middle of Finn's engagement party.
When I look up, Sasha's watching me and suddenly I'm regretting my candor on the roof. Is she wondering if I'm involved in something shady right now? But she's not looking at me with judgment in her eyes, merely interest. That doesn't mean I want her to know what we're talking about though. For some stupid reason I want her to see me as I am now. The man I've worked so hard to become. Something about the way she looks at me makes me want to be better.
"No, I'm not at home. I'll come to you." I glance over at Sasha again. Her fingers are wrapped around her champagne flute and as I'm looking, she crosses her legs, one shapely limb twining around the other.
"I'll come to you in a while. A long while." I hang up and put my phone back in my inner pocket.
"Problem?" Sasha raises her glass to her mouth and I can't look away. I watch every moment as her lips purse and she takes a small sip. Then she licks her lips.
Jesus.
I need to diffuse this situation carefully. I don't go after women who know my brothers or friends so that puts Sasha squarely in the off limits column. Not that she'll have a problem with that. She's made it pretty clear that she doesn't trust me and isn't impressed with my usual methods of charm and flattery.
"No. I just got something I wanted, actually. But it does mean that I need to leave a little earlier than I expected."
I'm probably imagining it but she looks a little disappointed.
"That's probably for the best." She lowers her voice. "Look, I would have never said all that stuff to you up on the roof if I'd known you were related to Finn. I'm still completely embarrassed by it all and also mad at myself that I didn't realize who you were. I knew you looked familiar but maybe if I'd spent more time around Tank lately, I would have seen the resemblance and figured it out."
"I'm glad you didn't." At her shocked look, I laugh. "You would have never told me all that stuff and I would have never confided in you either. And I needed that. I haven't felt this good in a long time. I guess confession really is good for the soul."
She doesn't look convinced. "Maybe that's true but it's still really awkward that I just told you that I'm a jealous shrew who envies her loved ones happiness and now I am going to have to see you whenever Tank or Finn has a party."
"You see, that's why I like you. I told you that I was a bad person, the kind of bad that usually results in jail time, and you actually think you're the one who has something to worry about here." I chuckle softly and finally she does too.
"I guess that's true. But you told me about stuff you used to do. Things that you've moved on from. I told you about things I'm feeling right now."
The music changes to something slow with a low, throbbing beat. I stand and shuck off my coat, leaving it draped over the barstool. I extend a hand.
Sasha raises one elegantly sculpted eyebrow. "Are you asking me to dance?"
"Yes. Just one dance."
"Why?" She honestly looks confused.
"Truly, I don't know. There are so many reasons why I should just walk away and pretend tonight never happened but you know what? I don't want to. I liked talking to you. And even if it's only tonight, I'm not ready to let it go just yet."
"You aren't?" she whispers. When I shake my head, she takes another long sip from her glass. Then she puts it back down and puts her hand in mine.
"Oh, why not?"
* * * * *
I tug her after me to the center of the floor and then pull her into my arms. She's so much shorter than I am, so the top of her head barely reaches my chin. If it weren't for the ridiculously high heels she's wearing she'd be dancing with the front of my sweater.
"So do your brothers know about, you know… what we talked about?" Sasha asks in a low voice.
She looks around us and she's so cute that I'm hit with the completely unfamiliar sensation of wanting to protect her. But from what? The thing she needs protection from most is me, especially since she already admitted that she has a tendency to fall for the wrong guys. I'm one of those guys that she needs to stay away from, the commitment phobic type – a skilled liar with questionable motives.
"They do but no one else knows. Most of that was before I hit eighteen and my juvie records are sealed. I was arrested once in college, totally not my fault by the way, but somehow the charges were dropped and the whole thing was buried. At the time, I considered it a lucky break but now I'm pretty sure that was my father's doing."
We dance in silence for a while and I have to fight to keep my hands in place. Her coat was hiding a clingy red wraparound dress that emphasizes her hourglass figure. And every time we move, her thighs slide against mine. I'm not sure why I thought dancing was a good idea. It's more like torture.
"Gabe?" She says my name experimentally, as if trying out the sound on her tongue. "You haven't gotten into any trouble lately, right?"
My initial decision to stay away from her was best. She's the kind of girl that wants to believe in the good in people. I don't want to be the one who proves to her that there is no good. There are simply those who take the opportunity to act and those who don't. But all people are just doing what is most advantageous for them.
"No, I'm done with all that. But I'll always be trouble, Sasha. It's in my nature."
"Aren't you the one who said our failures don't define us?"
I smile hearing my own words thrown back at me. She's watching me with a knowing look on her face.
"I don't consider the things I've done failure. More like character traits. Just like my hair color or eye color." The music ends and I step back. As enjoyable as it's been to be around her, I know it's time to go. There's something about talking to her that makes me forget where I am. Who I am. But I don't have that luxury right now. I need to get over to Luke's and figure out what's going on.
"Walk me out?"
She looks like she wants to protest but then she grabs her coat. I hold it out for her, watching as she slides her arms into the sleeves. I lift the heavy fall of her hair to keep it from being trapped under the collar of her coat.
Out on the street, she turns left so I follow. Finn's building is in a neighborhood in transition. It's got a great location so a lot of developers have started snapping up the buildings in the area so they can renovate them or raze them completely and create new condos. But at night, the area is still a little sketchy. There's no way I'm letting Sasha come out here to find her car by herself.
She stops next to the same steel gray monstrosity I remember. It looks even worse on second viewing as I notice all the places where the paint is peeling.
"My brother would be in pain if he saw this car. He's a mechanic. It looks like it's in dire need of med
ical help."
"Your brother?"
"Zack. The one upstairs with the Mohawk and all the tattoos."
"Right. I can barely keep all your brothers straight. I feel like I need a list."
"Yeah, you're not the only one."
She laughs softly and pulls her keys from her small purse. "So he's a mechanic. What about you?"
"I oversee the restoration of classic cars. It's a lot of bodywork, mostly. Zack handles repairs and we've also got a guy who deals with nothing but motorcycles."
"I can tell you enjoy what you do. I'm determined to find that for myself too. That's why I came here tonight. Oh, why did it have to be you?" Her face crumples.
I move closer and take her face between my hands. Tears pool in her eyes and I brush them away with my thumbs. "What do you mean?"
"Emma told me that Finn found me a mentor. I was so excited! Everything is falling apart and I thought this would be my chance to get some help. But now it's you. I know you don't want to help me." She crosses her arms and steps back a little. It's probably good for us to have some space right now but I immediately miss the contact.
"I think we both know that if I spend time with you, it won't have anything to do with business. I'm attracted to you, Sasha, but you're friends with my brothers. That's a line I can't cross."
She sniffles. "I know. If things got weird then we'd have to see each other. It's already going to be weird enough. But I was really counting on getting help. Now I'm not going to get the money I need to open my club. I might as well just give up now."
"What's the problem exactly? You need people to invest? I invest in stuff all the time."
She narrows her eyes. "I didn't come here to beg for a handout. I already got a loan. It's just that the loan only covered a certain amount. My family was going to invest but I found out yesterday they're backing out."
My mind races, turning over the information she’s given me so far. I need to stay away from her but I can help her before I go.
"Okay, so if the bank gave you a loan, they probably funded a certain amount based on items you stated in your business plan that you'd need to open. I'm going to guess instruments and speakers were a big line item."
She nods and brushes away a tear with the back of her hand. "Yeah. That's one of the biggest items on the list. They also funded me a certain amount for construction to build a stage. There were some smaller items like cleaning on there, too."
"Well, if you really have to cut costs, the easiest way is to figure out how to borrow or trade for some of those items. If you know anyone with instruments or equipment like that, maybe they'd be willing to let you borrow them. Or you could find some of the items secondhand. Then you could use the loan money allocated for instruments on something else."
She nods, her smile growing. "Or have friends who are handy help me build the stage."
"Exactly. That would be my advice. Trim costs by using resources you already have."
Suddenly she grabs me around the waist. "Thank you!"
I stiffen in the embrace and shift, trying to keep my hard-on away from her. After one final squeeze she pulls back.
"Sorry. I was just so excited." But there's a naughty little twinkle in her eye as she says it.
"You're going to be fine, Sasha. Just fine." I brush my finger over her cheek and she closes her eyes. I take a deep breath and step back. "I'll wait for you to get in the car."
Her eyes pop open and she grins. "The only one who does that is my dad."
"Then you've been around the wrong men."
She walks around to the driver's side of the car. I wait on the curb, my hands shoved deep in my pockets to keep from reaching out for her.
Just as she opens the door, she looks over at me. "So, I guess this is goodbye then." She looks as devastated as I feel and I realize that she's feeling this same strong pull. This same sense of recognition. Not like I know her. But like I should know her.
Before I know what I'm doing, I round the car and pull her into my arms. My hand slides under her hair and my mouth settles on hers before she can make a sound. She recovers quickly, pushing up on her tiptoes, her lips opening under mine to accept the soft thrust of my tongue. She tastes so good and the way she's moving against me makes me think of how she'd move if I were inside her. It's madness, this pull between us. I'm not sure if it's because she's off-limits or because she's Sasha. But there's something about this girl that makes me forget myself and all my rules.
I think that I could stand here all night, enjoying the soft, wet warmth of her mouth. But she makes a soft, needy little sound in the back of her throat that accomplishes two things. It makes me hard as a rock and also reminds me where I am. On a street corner in front of my brother's building kissing one of his friends like I'm going to take her right up against the car.
I break the kiss, panting heavily. Sasha grips the collar of my coat, pulling me back down for a final, soft kiss. Our lips meet and cling before I take a step back.
"You can't just go," she whispers.
"I have to."
She looks as perplexed as I feel as she watches me back up. Everything inside of me rebels against the idea of not going after her. I've always been bold about going after what I want but in this case, that's not in either of our best interests. And my desire for her is trumped by my need to protect her.
Fine time for my conscience to show up, I think sarcastically.
"Get in the car, Sasha. Go home. It's for the best, I promise. If I come any closer, we both know what will happen. We'll burn each other up but then it'll be over just as quickly as it started. And the last thing I want to do is hurt you."
Her slender fingers tighten around the top of the car door. "I never thought I'd be saying this but I wish you weren't such a gentleman. Because getting burned up sounds really good right about now."
Her soft words make me want to reconsider my stance. The times we've spent talking have been some of the best times I've had with a woman in a long time. But between all of our friends in common and whatever the hell Luke found out about our father, there's no getting around the fact that this is not meant to be.
"It's for the best if I stay away from you, sweetheart. I promise. You've had enough bad luck."
Then with a quick nod, she slides behind the wheel. I stand on the curb and wait until she drives away.
* * * * *
As soon as Sasha's car disappears, I turn around and almost bump into Finn. "Hey, what are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be inside at the party?"
He shakes his head. "I saw you leave with Sasha. That's why I'm here. Let's walk."
I have no choice but to follow. Finn may walk with a cane but he's also an ex-Army badass who can probably take me out without ever once losing his grip on the damn thing. Once we pass his building, I realize he actually means business. More than likely he doesn't want anyone else to come out here and see him chewing my ass out.
"Let me guess, you saw us?"
He shrugs. "It's none of my business. You're both adults. But you know what is my business? When Emma is upset because her friend calls crying after a one-night stand gone wrong."
"What makes you think it would be a one-night stand?"
"Because it's you, Gabe. Sasha is a friend of mine too and she's been a friend to our mother as well. It's none of my business but I'm letting you know that I'll make it my business if I have to."
There it is. I have to admire his ability to make such commonplace words sound so threatening.
"I understand."
"Good, then I should get back." He turns and walks back to the building, leaving me standing in the middle of the sidewalk. I groan and then walk back to my car.
Luke's mother owns a bakery called Anita's Place. When Finn first found out about our tangled family tree, he started coming here for a slice of pie every other day. Once I tried it, I understood why Finn kept coming back. Luke's mom is a wizard in the kitchen.
As soon as I come through the d
oor, Luke motions to one of the waitresses.
"Hey Rory, can you bring him a beer?"
She nods and walks off. I slide into the booth across from Luke. The waitress returns with an opened bottle and places it in front of me. I nod my thanks before taking a long pull.
"You look like you needed that." Luke narrows his eyes. "Who pissed you off?"
I ignore the question in favor of getting right down to the reason I'm here. "What did you find out about those names?"
Luke glances around us then leans forward. "I couldn't find them. I ran every variation of those names I could think of and got nothing. This is big."
"You called me here to tell me you found nothing? How is that helpful?" I'm not in the mood to decipher Luke's strange type of logic.
"The fact that I couldn't find anything gives us a certain type of information. The only people who can hide from me are usually pretty well connected. Like CIA government connected."
The implications of what he's saying hit me all at once. "Like spies or something?"
Luke's eyes gleam as he nods.
"Shit. What the hell is Max into? Why would he need a list of spies?" If my father has a list of these names, they're either people he knows or people he's looking for. Neither of which sounds legal at all.
"Government operatives or people in witness protection. Not sure. That's what I'm going to find out."
"But I thought you said that you couldn't find them?"
Luke gives me a smug grin. "Just because I can't find them doesn't mean I can't find them. I asked my online buddy Cypher to look into it. No one can hide from him. In the meantime, watch your back."
As hard as it was to turn Sasha away, this situation is the perfect example of why I need to stay away from her. Something about her draws me, intrigues me and makes me lose sight of all the logical reasons why I avoid emotional entanglements. She makes me want to do all the things I normally run from, like asking her about her childhood and listening to her talk about her dreams.
There's something about her that makes me want to share those things with her. But getting close to someone carries risks, especially since I'm not sure what kind of blowback I'll get once we figure this thing out. Whatever Max has gotten himself into, it sounds like he's in with some pretty shady people. Being involved with someone would be as good as painting a target on her back.
